


Burned

by Jubilee44



Series: Peaky Blinders [1]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood, Cancer, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Different Languages in Italics, Dirty Talk, F/M, Falling In Love, Gang Violence, Gangsters, Gun Violence, Illness, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intimacy, Jewish Character, Lazy Mornings, London, Morning Sex, Of course it's Alfie, Parenthood, Past Abuse, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Pregnancy, Robbery, Romani & Travelers, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Those good ole accents, Threats of Violence, Violence, Wealth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 06:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 102,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17617520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: Alfie Solomons is in need of a secretary. Tommy Shelby mentions a young woman in need of employment. From there the two step into a dangerous dance together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's a little daunting to write a character like Alfie but here goes nothing. Criticism (any form) is highly appreciated. I'm trying to do a lot of research for this because I dig anything having to do with history. Also, I apologize for my rough estimate of pricing. I've looked up inflation stuff but ya know. Also, I'm super American so my British writing dialect is purely off of BBC shows.

            “Sir?”

            Alfie looked up from his paperwork, his eyes glancing over his glasses. Ollie had opened the door and was standing there, waiting for a response. “I’m sorry, but when did fucking knocking go outta style?” The gangster asked gruffly.

            “Sorry, sir. But, uh, Mr. Shelby is here.” Ollie winced slightly. “Should I let him in?”

            “You fucking search him?” Alfie let his glasses fall against his chest, hanging from the chain around his neck.

            “Yes, sir.” He nodded.

            “Alright then let him in.” The man waved his hand and reached for his cane. He grunted as he stood up.

            Tommy walked in slid off his hat. “Morning, Alfie.” He cleared his throat.

            “Yeah, it is, innit? Fucking lovely. Always lovely when I’ve got a fucking Shelby in me office.” The rough man held out a hand to the chair across from the desk. “Go on, go on, sit.”

            Tommy nodded and sat down. He placed his hat in his lap and stretched out his legs.

            “Now why have you grace me with your presence, Tommy? Up to no good?” Alfie settled back in his chair and laced his fingers over the top of his can. He leaned forward slightly.

            “Actually, I’ve got a gift for you. Word’s been going ‘round that you’re looking for a secretary.” Tommy reached for his cigarettes and lit one.

            “Yeah, I have. Y’know Ollie’s great, right, love the kid. But his wife’s got another ankle biter on the way, right, I figure he could have more time with his family.”

            “You gone soft, Alfie?” He asked in his deeply steady voice. The cigarette balanced carefully between his lips as he spoke.

            “Yeah…you fucking wish, Shelby. “Alfie replied fiercely. He pointed two fingers at the man. “I’ll have you know, right, that I’ve got plans. Big plans. Gonna make the name Solomons more respected, yeah?”

            “You don’t think people respect you now?” Tommy’s icy blue stare studied the burly man.

            “Well, respect, yeah, has a sorta loose meaning, don’t it?” His rings clicked against his cane as he twitched his fingers. “Men respect me ‘cause they know I could have ‘em killed for fucking looking at me wrong, right? But is that getting me control of London? ‘Course not. Be nice to have the higher-ups look kindly upon me. That way, when I need a favor, maybe I won’t have to threaten them, yeah? ‘Sides, might be fun to rub elbows with the ones with golden spoons shoved up their arse. You know I’m a man of taste, mate.”

            The Shelby man nodded with his eyebrows raised in contemplation. “Sure, I suppose. Just thought you liked being threatening.” He cleared his throat and took a long drag of the cigarette. The smoke making hazy clouds around the dim office.

            Alfie narrowed his eyes and flexed his fingers slightly. “What were you saying ‘bout a gift?”

            “Young woman came to my office yesterday asking for protection. Guess word got around London that Tommy Shelby will take care of business if offered a good price.”

            Alfie less than subtly rolled his eyes and grumbled incoherently.

            “She came with a good piece of her inheritance, s’long as I made sure her husband couldn’t find her.”

            “Right…and why should I care?” He looked uninterested with a head shake rubbed his eyes.

            “I think she could be some use to you. She wants a job, needs the money. You need a secretary, I think that’s a good enough fit, don’t you?” Tommy rested his elbows on his knees.

            “I’m guessing she’s not Jewish.”

            He slowly inhaled cigarette smoke in the air. “Her religion of choice didn’t come up.

            “Hm. Right, well, I’m not going to entertain the thought of giving the job to your charity case, yeah? So now,” Alfie grabbed his pocket watch from his vest pocket and had to squint to see the time without his glasses, “you’ve wasted me time long enough, you can fuck off.”

            “C’mon, Alfie.” Tommy flicked his cigarette to the ashtray and leaned forward. “Just meet with her. She’s intelligent, educated, knows different languages. She could be useful to you.”

            “She one of you gypsies, eh? You trying to pass off one of your kind to me business?”

            “Alfie-” Tommy groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

            “Why don’t ya fucking hire her?”

            “Because I don’t have a place for her, Alfie, I’ve got Lizzie. Now you, you’re looking for someone, so just hire her. If she disappoints you then you can personally hold me accountable.”

            The gangster turned his eyes away from Tommy. His fingers tapped impatiently as he thought through how he could best exploit the situation. “Give me the money she gave you.”

            “Oh fuck off, Alfie.” He leaned back in his chair.

            “What? You want me to hire her so badly? Give me the fucking money.” Alfie’s voice rose and his tone became more hostile. “Either that or you get out me fucking office and skitter on back to that shit hole of yours.”

            Tommy gripped his hat, taking care of the concealed razor blades. “Because she paid for the protection of the Peaky Blinders, not Alfie Solomons.”

            “Come on, Tommy,” Alfie complained and threw up a hand, “why on Earth do you fucking care? Eh? She’s not one of your people, so tell her to fuck off.”

            “The girls wouldn’t let me. You didn’t see the state she was in. Husband nearly fucking gutted her with a knife and shot at her like an animal. She shows up to my doorstep ‘fore she goes to the hospital, too afraid her husband will find her there. We had to take her and Polly made me swear we’d protect her.” Tommy lowered his voice. “You just have her work your schedule and fucking pay her. That’s all I’m asking.”

            Alfie leaned his cane against his desk and clasped his hands together. “I’ll take fifty percent of the money. That way, if it don’t work out, I’m not completely wasting me time. Fair?”

            Tommy nodded solemnly. “Fine, you meet with her first. I’ll bring you the money after.” He stood up.

            “Right, fine.” Alfie stood as well and rested his weight on his desk. “You tell Polly you were sending the girl to me? Wouldn’t think she would want me employing such a damaged little dove, now. Not Mean Ol’, Mr. Solomons.”

            “She doesn’t know.”

            “Figured as much. Not nice to keep secrets, there, Tommy.” He tutted with a stern headshake.

            “I don’t need you to lecture me about keeping secrets.” Mr. Shelby muttered and slid his hat back on. “Right, I’ll send her your way when she’s healed. Shouldn’t be more than a fortnight.” He opened the office door. “And, Alfie? You go easy on her, eh?”

            “This is me fucking business, if she doesn’t like it she can leave.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

            “Fair enough. See you soon, Alfie.” Tommy gave a curt wave as he left the office, shutting the door behind him.

            “Fucking hell…” Alfie muttered and dragged a hand over his face.

 

            A week and a half later, Alfie was walking to work. His hip wasn’t feeling as stiff that morning so he decided to enjoy the sunny morning. Two men trailed behind him for protection, as usual. Cyril trotted beside him, the hefty dog slobbering away happily. As he approached the bakery, he noticed a woman idling around the heavy doors. Always on high alert, Alfie held Cyril’s lead and his cane in one hand while slipping the other into his coat to touch the gun securely tucked away.

            He cleared his throat and tried to size up the woman even though she had her face hidden by dark curls spilling out from under a black cloche hat.

            “Can I help you?” Alfie’s strong voice bounced back and forth between the crowded buildings.

            It startled the woman and she looked up with fearful eyes. “I uh…” Her voice was weak compared to his.

            “You’re hanging around me business, you lost, love?” He stopped in front of her. He wasn’t much taller than she was in her kitten heels, but he had an intimidating frame that made him seem larger.

            “I’m…” Her eyes landed on Cyril and she smiled. “Oh, what a handsome dog.” She said softly.

            Cyril seemed to appreciate the female’s attention and wagged his tail. He stepped over to her, his tongue lolling out in a big grin.

           “Em…thanks. Back to the matter at hand, what do you want?” The top of his face shaded by his wide-brimmed hat.

            The woman realized where she was and looked up at the gruff man. “I’m looking for Mr. Solomons, I was sent by Mr. Shelby.”

            “Right, come in.” The man pushed open the heavy doors, clutching his cane in his hands. Ollie was already waiting for him and took Cyril’s lead from the gangster. His stride was large and despite his limp, he outpaced the woman. She had to jog a few steps to keep up with him.

            “I hope you were expecting me. Mr. Shelby just sent me here with the address.” She explained quickly. Her eyes flicked over the warehouse space full of barrels. “He said you ran a bakery and were in need of a secretary.”

            Alfie just grunted in a reply and kept walking. He unlocked the door to his office.

            “You are Mr. Solomons, yes?”

            He looked over his shoulder at her and saw the uneasiness in her hazel eyes. “That would be me, yes.” He opened the door and swept out an arm to usher her inside. He shrugged off his overcoat and jacket, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt.

            The woman slipped off her coat and folded it over her arm, standing hesitantly.

            Alfie glanced up at her and made an impatient gesture to the chair across the desk. “Well go on and sit. Haven’t got all day.”

            She sat down, crossing her ankles and resting her hands over her knees. “I understand you’re a busy man, Mr. Solomons…”

            “That’s a fucking posh accent you’ve got there.” He slipped his glasses on and shuffled through some letters he’d gotten.

            “Oh, I suppose so.” She was thrown off by his brash comments. “I should probably introduce myself. My name’s Louise Barnes, I-”

            “Born somewhere nice? The countryside?” He still didn’t look up at her.

            Louise was fairly used to being cut off midsentence, mostly by her estranged husband, but it didn’t make it any less annoying. “Surrey.” She answered. “I was hoping to apply for work. I speak several different-”

            “Lovely the countryside is, innit? Lovely to be born there I ‘magine. Not a fucking worry in the world, yeah? Now you’re here. How’s that?” Alfie’s eyes turned up to her. The light caught the blue-green pigment hiding behind his harsh gaze.

            The polite nature of Louise was starting to wear off. “Mr. Solomons, if this is a job interview, then I don’t think my past is relevant.” She swallowed the irritation.

            “That’s funny, innit?” He huffed out a humorless laugh and rested his elbows on the desk. “’Cause how do I know where you come from, yeah? How do I know who you’ve been speaking with?” He pointed at her.

            She looked puzzled, knitting her eyebrows together. “Speaking with? I’ve only spoken to Mr. Shelby. He told me you were a baker in need of a secretary. Though by the looks and smell of it, I think it’s safe to say that’s merely your cover.”

            A smirk lifted Alfie’s mustache. “Yeah, clever girl, Tommy said you was clever. Clever enough to see who you’re really sitting in front of?” His eyes darkened and he kept his stare steady on her.

            The pressure in the air made her want to retreat. But Louise was done with men always pushing her around. She’d nearly welcomed Death just a week or so ago. And at that moment, something left her soul. Perhaps it was caution or good sense. Perhaps it wasn’t healthy. But a woman’s survival was not easy in a man’s world. So she bit her tongue and straightened up slightly. “Does it matter?” She replied.

            He raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting a different reaction. “Does it fucking matter?” His temper reared its ugly head.

            “Do you always swear in front of a lady, Mr. Solomons?”

            Alfie remembered Tommy’s request and inhaled sharply. He laced his fingers together and thought about the money coming his way. “Yeah, I do, and if you’ll be working here, yeah, you’ll learn to fucking deal with it.”

            Louise held back a quip and nodded instead. “Very well.”

            “Right…” He eyed her and reached for a pen to jot down a few things. “Now, Tommy said you were intelligent.”

            “Yes, Mr. Solomons, I can handle mathematics, I can type, and I’ve become fluent in several different languages.” She answered.

            “Like what?” His pinky wrapped around the chain of his glasses.

            “Well, French, German, Italian, bits of Spanish. I’d like to learn more.” She smiled.

            “You speak Italian?” Alfie nodded to himself. “Huh…useful thing you might be.” He raised a hand to stroke his beard thoughtfully. “Yeah alright. We’ll give it a go.”

            Louise perked up a little. “You’ve given me the job?” She asked.

            “Tommy spoke highly of you, right, and he’s an old mate of mine. So we’ll try it out, you start tomorrow. Give ya a pound a week to start, how’s that?” He asked purely out of habit and because rarely anyone argued prices with him. Only a few people could bargain with him and that still pissed him off.

            “A pound a week?”

            “Yep.” He stood up and grabbed his cane. “Right, now, I’ve got work to do. Be here seven tomorrow morning, don’t be fucking late.”

            “Mr. Solomons, I’m not sure I’ll be able to accept a pound a week.” Louise stood up. She knew it wouldn’t be easy living on that wage in London. And Mr. Solomons didn’t seem too down on his luck. It was hard to miss the rings on his fingers and fine pocket watch.

            “You what?” He stopped and tilted his head towards her like he hadn’t heard her properly. “Well, you don’t have to accept it, love, right?”

            “Three.” She challenged her eyes steady on his.

            “Fucking three?” He laughed and pointed his cane at her. “Having a right laugh, you are.” He squared off with her. She didn’t appear eager to fight with him. Her body language was rigid and tense. She was doing what he did; doing what it took to kept a better footing in life.

            Her eyes didn’t leave him. She was doe-eyed but it appeared the innocence had been sucked right out of them.  

            “Two.” He said curtly. “Don’t fucking ask for anything else. If you’re useful I’ll give you the money you deserve.” He went to leave again. “See you at six, then.”

            But Louise stepped toward him. “Wait, I haven’t got a place to stay.”

            “Fucking hell…” Alfie groaned and turned back to her like it physically pained him.

            “Tommy didn’t mention housing…” She explained quietly. “I figured you two had arranged something. If not I-”

            “I’ll figure it out, yeah? For now, just…I’ll have Ishmael bring you to me place. That all you brought with ya?” He nodded to her purse.

            “Yes, I hadn’t been able to bring many possessions with me.”

            “Right, just go with him. I’ll send to have things brought to you.” He waved her out of his office and called Ishmael over. “Take Miss Barnes back to me home.” He grabbed the boy by the collar to pull him close and whisper in his ear. “You watch her. If she tries to fucking leave, you make sure she’s not running off with me things, yeah?”

            “Yes, sir.” Ishmael nodded and led Louise outside to the car.

            “Fucking…” Alfie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ollie!”


	2. Chapter 2

           

            Ishmael knocked on the door of a three-story apartment. It was squeezed between the same brick style buildings so it didn’t stand out on the street.

            Louise waited on the sidewalk, holding her purse close to her stomach. “I really don’t want to be a bother.” She said to the young man. “If it’s easier, I could go find a room to rent.” Although her words were somewhat misleading. Her wallet was basically empty. She’d given all the money she had to Tommy Shelby. There was only so much she could pull out from the loose floorboard. The money from her parents after they passed. Money she had to hide from her husband. She stuffed what she could into her purse while her husband began his warpath. Then he entered the bedroom with a knife.

            “Mr. Solomons said you could stay here for the night. He’ll take care of things.” Ishmael interrupted her thoughts.

            The door opened and Ishmael perked up. A young woman no more than twenty stepped out. She seemed happy to see him as well.

            “Did he forget something?” She pushed a few stray hairs from her forehead. Her face was flushed from housework and she made a few tugs at her simple skirt. The adoration for the young man was crystal clear in her dark green eyes.

            Ishmael didn’t seem bothered to see her a bit out of sorts. He was so smitten he nearly forgot what she asked. “Oh, no. Uh, he said to bring his new secretary here.”

            She glanced around him to finally notice Louise. “Okay.”

            “I’m Louise.” She stepped up on the stoop to shake her hand.

            “Evelyn, I try my best to keep Mr. Solomon’s home running smoothly.” She explained, taking Louise’s hand. “Come in, I’ll put the kettle on. Ishmael, will you stay for tea?” Hope glimmered in her eyes.

            Looking conflicted, he sighed. “Can’t right now, Ev, Alfie’ll be needing me. See you later, though, I hope.” He nodded.

            She smiled warmly. “Yeah, see you soon.” Their eyes met and Evelyn’s face turned an even deeper shade of red.

            Ishmael grinned and went back to the car with a new skip in his step. The sweet interaction was refreshing for Louise after meeting with Alfie.

            “It’s very nice to meet you, Louise.” Evelyn let her inside.

            The apartment was nice and well kept, most likely by the young woman. Alfie’s apparent wealth was put on front display. But it didn’t feel like a home. It felt staged and didn’t show many signs of comfort. There were no photographs or portraits of anyone. No personal bits lying around the rooms, just a hollow sense of lodging.

            “Is Alfie not married?” Louise had seen his rings but didn’t care to notice if one was a wedding band.

            “No, the man spends all his time working.” Evelyn led her to the parlor. “Have a seat anywhere you’d like. I’ll make tea, you hungry as well? Did you eat breakfast?”

            “Oh, I won’t pester you.”

            “Please, it’s not a bother.” She smiled. “S’nice to have a woman here. I’ll make some eggs, that okay?”

            “That would be lovely, thank you.”

            While Evelyn was bustling around the kitchen, Louise walked cautiously around the sitting room. A large mahogany bookcase sat by a fireplace. Curious, she tilted her head to read the spines. There were titles she recognized, well-known works. Some were first editions with heavy bindings and lavish décor. But it didn’t seem like anyone had actually taken any of the books out to read them.

            Turning, Louise took in the room. A landscape painting hung above the fireplace. Ornate vases sat on a credenza and would be collecting dust had Evelyn not kept the home properly polished. The rug was an Oriental with rich red hues and gold accents.

            She sat down on a stiff couch and tried to fathom how Alfie had accumulated such wealth. The bakery was obviously a guise, but if the man ran a distillery, would that really give him the money for such pricey items? He’d made it clear he wasn’t born to well off parents so it wasn’t inherited.

            Frowning in thought, Louise gently picked up a crystal paperweight off a side table. She had been raised among fine things. Alfie had been right; she never had to worry about a thing. Everything was taken care of. Everything was done for her. Everything she wanted, she got. Now she had nothing but the job he’d given her.

            “Here we are.” Evelyn brought in a tray for her. Plates of eggs, biscuits, and fruit cluttered next to a delicate teacup and a china jar filled with sugar cubes.

            “Thank you, Evelyn,” Louise said graciously. She began adding sugar to her tea and stirring it in. “I know you’re probably busy, and I don’t want to disturb you but I was wondering…”

            “’Bout him?” She nodded understandingly.

            “Interesting man, isn’t he?” Louise wasn’t sure what else to describe him as.

            “Interesting? S’pose that’s one way to put it. He’s a dangerous man, there’s no sugarcoating it m’fraid.” Evelyn appeared accustomed to the idea. She wiped her hands on a cloth and fixed the pins in her hair. “He’s rough ‘round the edges and got a bad temper, but he takes care of his own. Don’t think he’d lay a hand on you, always treats me well. Gets moody, but that’s manageable. Much better than being his enemy.” She reached around to tighten her apron. “Anyway, I’ll let you eat. I’ll make up the guest room for you. If you’d like anything else, just give me a shout.”

            “Yes, thank you,” Louise said quietly. The man’s profile was becoming more ominous as the morning went on and she wondered what she was getting herself into.

 

            The day wore on; Louise tried to keep herself occupied. She read a bit from Alfie’s book collection to keep her mind off her current situation. Evelyn made her lunch and the two chatted a bit more.

            Around four in the afternoon, there was a knock on the door. Evelyn went to get it and let in a man that Louise recognized from the bakery.

            He carried in a few bags into the parlor. “Miss Barnes, Mr. Solomons asked me to bring some things for you.”

            “Oh, yes, sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” She stood and put the book down on the couch.

            “Ollie.” The curly-haired man nodded. “Let Evelyn know if things need to be tailored. I figured you were around my wife’s size.”

            “I appreciate that, thank you, Ollie,” Louise said and took a few skirts and dresses out of the bags. “These should work perfectly.”

            “Mr. Solomons wanted to know if you’d be needing anything else?” He asked.

            “Well, I know he said he would find accommodation for me.”

            “Haven’t heard anything about that but I’ll ask.”

            “Okay, thank you.” She nodded and ran her fingers over the silk material of a blouse.

            The man nodded and took his leave.

 

            The sun started to set and Evelyn began dinner. Louise changed into some of the clothes Ollie brought. The skirt was a little loose around the waist so she decided to pin it for now and alter it herself later.

            “Will Mr. Solomons be home soon?” Louise walked into the kitchen.

            “No, he rarely comes home ‘fore eight or nine.” She answered and prepared a plate. “Always working, hardly eats, and barely sleeps. I tell him s’bad for his health but ‘course he doesn’t listen to me.”

            “I could see that,” Louise recalled all the times Alfie had interrupted her.

            “Sure he won’t keep you that late though.” Evelyn set the table for her. “He only works himself to death, usually spares his men.”

            It didn’t sound hopeful though and Louise began to prepare herself for early mornings and long nights.

 

            Louise didn’t wake up when Alfie came home that night. It was almost midnight and she was deep asleep. The next morning, Evelyn woke her up for breakfast.

            She got dressed, a black skirt that hung just below her knees accompanied by a burgundy blouse. She pinned her hair up and applied makeup before sliding on her heels and going downstairs.

            “Morning, Louise.” Evelyn smiled. “Breakfast is ready. Tea or coffee?”

            “Oh tea is fine, thank you.” She sat and surprisingly felt well rested despite the early hour. The bed was extremely comfortable and Evelyn had given her fresh, silk sheets that were like a dream.

            Cyril was happy to see the woman who had called him handsome the day before. He chomped up his food hastily and went to sit at her feet. Louise smiled and reached down to pat his head.

            A few minutes into her breakfast, the sound of heavy boots came down the stairs. Alfie was half dressed, his loose shirt untucked and suspenders hanging against his thighs. “Morning, Evelyn.” Cyril stood up when his owner came down and went to greet him as well.

            “Mr. Solomons, how did you sleep?”

            “Fine, fine. Miss Barnes, were you well taken care of?” His eyes turned to her.

            “Oh yes, very well. Evelyn is very hospitable.”

            He nodded and went to get his cane by the foyer.

            “Breakfast, Mr. Solomons?” Evelyn called.

            “Not now, Evelyn, running tight on schedule.”

            Louise eyed her unfinished breakfast but decided she needed to make a good impression. So she stood up and headed for the door too with Cyril at her heels.

            “You should eat, Mr. Solomons. Take a bit of time to get your day started.”

            “Later, Evelyn.” He tucked in his shirt and fixed his suspenders over his shoulders. “Miss Barnes?”

            “Yes?” She walked to the hallway where he was buttoning up his waistcoat and tucking his pocket watch away.

            “Ready?”

            “Yes.” She nodded and slid on her coat and hat

            He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Right, car should be here.” He clipped on Cyril’s lead and opened the door. “See you tonight, Evelyn.”

 

            Alfie was an imposing figure as he limped through the distillery. Men shied their eyes from him but caught a few glances of Louise as she followed him to the office.

            “Right, have a seat.” He let Cyril find his spot near the desk.

            Louise sat and watched as Alfie settled himself in. “Just gonna get some information down then I’ll let you know what I need you to do, yeah?”

            “Sure.”

            He put his glasses on and flipped through a few papers, grabbing a pen among the cluttered desk. “Louise Barnes your full name?”

            “Louise Mae Barnes-Kelly, legally.” She answered with a hint of discomfort in her voice.

            “That’s a fucking mouthful, innit?” He grumbled. “Kelly your husband’s name?”

            “Yes. But I don’t use his name anymore.”

            “Right, Tommy said something ‘bout him being a bastard. Year you were born?”

            “1896.”

            “Fucking hell.” He scratched the back of his neck as he realized she was ten years his junior. “Right, d’you say you spoke Russian?”

            “No, sir. I’m always willing to learn though.” She offered.

            “Mhm, not Jewish, right?”

            “No, I was raised a Christian.” She wasn’t following his line of questioning. None of it seemed very relevant to being a secretary. “Can’t say I’ve been to worship any time recently.”

            “Mhm…” He kept writing. “You good at keeping your mouth shut?” His eyes flicked up to her.

            “Excuse me?”

            “Right,” He set his pen down and leaned back in his chair. “You’re smart, but I can’t have you chatting ‘round London about what you do. What you see, what you learn, and what I do is confidential, innit?”

            “Yes, of course.” She nodded without question.

            He eyed her with firm eyes. “Right, have you look ‘round with me then. You’ll spend most of your time here though; don’t need you in the bakery.”

            “And accommodation? Did Ollie speak to you about it?”

            “I’ve found an apartment for you.” He nodded. “Whatever you need, you tell me, yeah? Can have Evelyn help you too.”

            “That’s okay. I can take care of myself.”

            “Surrey-girl can take care of herself.” He chuckled and stood up. “Come on then, keep up.”

 

            It was about a week before Louise saw Alfie’s temper first hand. He was moody some days like Evelyn warned her. But he was fairly kind to her just in a rough way. He furnished her new apartment, allowed her to come into the bakery around seven, and let her go home before eight. His kept his word of two pounds a week for her as well. He made small comments about her accent sometimes and didn’t spare her ears of his excessive swearing. But it didn’t bother Louise much once she became accustomed to it. She was just happy to feel safe and have a steady income.

            But one morning, she arrived at the bakery to a shit storm. Even before Louise opened the door, she heard Alfie’s loud voice shouting. She stepped inside and found the distillery in a state of fear.

            “If another fucking shipment comes up short, yeah, I’ll start dealing out punishments. What? You fucking don’t believe me? You test your luck, I fucking dare you!” He was squared off against a teenager who looked close to fainting out of fear. Alfie’s face was turning red as he shouted.

            Louise automatically feared a man shouting. But at least she wasn’t on the receiving end. Trembling she approached her boss. “Mr. Solomons?”

            The men all turned to her. Alfie looked over and held up a hand. “I’ll be with you in a minute, Louise.” He told her fiercely. “What?” He grabbed the kid by the collar. “What you looking at her for? Fucking think she’s gonna save you? Ain’t no one gonna save you, mate, God can’t even save you. You continue to test me, right, I’ll start taking fucking fingers.” He released his hold on the boy and shoved him back. “Anyone else have a fucking issue with that?” He roared.

            They only shook their heads, too afraid to speak.

            “Fantastic, now get back to work!” They all skittered away. Alfie took a deep breath and turned to his secretary. “Louise, come in.” He waved a hand to let her into his office.

            She walked in and found Cyril happily chewing on a bone, unbothered by his master’s shouting. She sat and took out her diary with Alfie’s schedule carefully penned in.

            “Sorry, ‘bout that. Can’t fucking learn, those gits.” He grumbled as his temper simmered down.

            “That’s okay.” The woman didn’t dare challenge him after seeing him so angry.

            “What I’ve got for today?” He asked and folded his arms over his chest. His face returning to his usual complexion.

            “A meeting with a man named Darby Sabini at noon.” She said. “After that, you said you wished to call Mr. Shelby.”

            “Great, thanks.” He slid on his glasses.

            “So I’ll come to take notes in your meeting?”

            “No, I’ll have Ollie do that.” He muttered and looked down at his papers. “You take a long lunch break.”

            “Are you sure? I don’t mind.”

            “Don’t want that man looking at you.”

            Louise was surprised. Alfie hadn’t acted so protective over her before. He usually just treated her as an employee. “Whatever you think.” She shut the diary. “Should I do something else?”

            “Could take Cyril for a walk, if you’d like.” He offered. “Mutt would appreciate that.”

            “Of course, Mr. Solomons.” She smiled and stood up, tucking the diary away.

            “Can call me Alfie.” He grunted. “I call you Louise, not much different, is it?”

            “Okay. Anything else?”

            “No, that’s…actually no. Got an event tomorrow night, some fucking art thing.” He waved his hand, brushing away the need for correct terminology. “Gonna be French people there, you said you speak French?”

            “Yes.” She nodded.

            “Right, I’ll have you come with me, then. I’ll’ve a dress sent to you.” He said not too concerned.

            “Okay.” The sound of an upscale event gave her a bit of anxiety though. It had been a while since she’d been around the type of people she was raised to be like.

            “Right, that’s all then.” He pushed his arm forward and accidentally slid a stack of papers off the other side of the desk near Louise. “Fuck, sorry ‘bout that.”

            “It’s okay, I can clean it up.” She bent down and tugged at her not yet healed stitches. She let out a little whimper of pain but tried to ignore it.

            Alfie lifted himself up a bit to peer down at her across the desk. “You alright?” He asked.

            “Yes, Mr-uh Alfie. Just the stitches.”

            Alfie had nearly forgotten what Tommy said about her visit to the hospital. “Well don’t rip ‘em.” He said as if she would do so purposefully.

            “They’re okay.” She slowly straightened up and put the papers back on his desk.

            He stood and walked around to her. “Can I see?”

            “I uh…” She looked uneasy.

            “I’ve seen blood before, love, don’t worry ‘bout me.” He stood in front of her and leaned against his cane.

            Her cheeks turning red, she untucked her blouse and let him see the stitches above her bellybutton.

            “Fucking hell.” He bent down slightly and peered at the wound. “Your husband did that to you? Fucking animal, a man who could do that. Fuck that, he's not a man at all.”

            Louise lowered the hem and tucked it into her skirt again. “It will be healed soon.” She ignored the comment about her husband. It was accurate but she didn’t want to talk about him.

            Residual anger sparked up in Alfie again. Seeing a fragile woman with such injuries brought him to a dark place. No one got away with hurting someone who worked for him, especially not a woman. “What’s his name?” He asked.

            “Who?” She straightened her hair.

            “Your husband.”

            “Alfie, please, you don’t have to worry. It’s over.” She swallowed and reached for Cyril’s lead on the coat hanger. “You want to go for a walk, handsome boy?”

            Cyril lifted himself up and trotted over to her with his signature slobbery smile.

            “That’s a boy, let’s go then. Be back soon, Alfie.” She said before leaving the office with the bullmastiff.

            Alfie nodded and glanced at the phone. He needed a name and knew who could give it to him.


	3. Chapter 3

 

            The next night, Louise was brought a box tied up in ribbon. Alfie had sent her home a bit early so she could bathe and make sure the dress fit.

            Louis thanked Ollie for delivering the box and took it to her room. She set it on her bed and slid the top off. Folded under a bit of tissue paper was a royal blue evening gown.

            “Mercy…” She lifted the garment up delicately to take the rest of its appearance. The front was intricately beaded, the shiny facets catching the lamplight and making the dress glimmer. It was floor length, with a long row of buttons in the back traveling from the top all the way to where the dress’s skirt flared out behind. The beaded bodice formed a sweetheart neckline, ready to hug the waist.

            Louise stared at the gown, dumbfounded for a bit. Despite growing up in a well off home, she hadn’t seen anything quite so stunning. Her father insisted she wear modest dresses when attending events to keep his only child and precious daughter safe from the wandering eyes of boyish elite males. And of course, when she married her husband, she had no use for nice dresses.

            But this dress, royalty could’ve worn it or the stunning fashion models in Paris. It seemed to be the right size, but she wasn’t sure she’d fit the mold of a woman who would wear such a garment. But it was too late to get another dress and none of the clothes she had would be appropriate for the event.

            She set the dress on her bed and glanced back at the box.

            A set of gloves sat waiting for her among the tissue paper. The satin fabric reminded her of her mother. She and Louise’s father would regularly attend parties and galas. But they never neglected her. She could almost smell her mother’s perfume, remembering how she’d touch her daughter’s cheeks with the silky gloves while kissing her goodnight.

            No one could be more beautiful than her mother.

 

            Louise slipped the dress on and realized there was a problem. She reached behind her and tried to do up as many buttons as she could. But the twisting tugged painfully at her stitches and made the feat impossible. She huffed in defeat and weighed her options. She could wear a shawl to cover up the undone buttons but the fabric folded a little because it wasn’t fitting the way it was meant to. The second option and the most daunting was to ask Alfie to finish the buttons. Her boss of just over a week.

            There wasn’t much time to decide as the clock on the wall told her Alfie would be arriving soon.

            “It’s only a few buttons…” She whispered under her breath and hurried downstairs.

 

            Around seven, the car pulled up to her apartment.

            Alfie had gotten out of the car to greet her properly. He appeared more clean-cut than usual but still onto his air of power. He wore a well-fitted tuxedo with his heavy black coat to keep him warm in the cold London night. His beard was trimmed and he had his familiar black hat. He stood on the sidewalk; his feet set wide apart while resting his hands on top of his cane.

            “Fucking hell.” Despite his formal wear, Alfie didn’t change his vernacular. Expensive fabric couldn’t change that. “Thought you’d look lovely in that color. Nice to see I was right, usually am.”

            Louise smiled and stood in the doorway. “Could I just ask for a favor?”

            “Yeah, what’s that then?” He walked over to the steps.

            “Just fasten the last buttons in the back.” She turned to show him. She gathered her curls away from her neck so he could help.

            Alfie felt a lump stick in his throat. He’d noticed the change in him over the week of having Louise around. He thought it would be easier to ignore it but that wasn’t the case. It was hard enough just being around her in her work skirts. Seeing her dressed up like London’s aristocracy was killing him.

            He stepped up the front steps. It was as if she was intentionally trying to drive him mad. The blue fabric parted showing him just enough of her pale skin to make him tense up. A few freckles marked down her spine and for a brief moment, he could imagine kissing each one of them.

            Alfie Solomons was not a hopeless romantic. He wasn’t weak and he wasn’t soft. There was no way he was going to fawn over this woman simply because she was around frequently. He had to mentally kick himself in the ass and steady his hands to button her dress up. It was inappropriate to think of his secretary in such a way. Maybe she was just a test from God.

            “There we are.” Alfie stepped back when he was finished.

            “Thank you.” She slipped on her coat and turned around. The dress trailed a bit behind her but was bunched up in the front so she could walk properly. “It is beautiful, I really love it.”

            “Yeah? Well, you keep it then.”

            Louise followed him down the stairs and over to the car. “Oh, Alfie, I couldn’t.” She took his hand held out to help her get in.

            “I ain’t gonna wear it, so who else would I give it to?” He climbed in behind her. He didn’t want to see any other woman in that dress. As far as he was concerned, the thing was made to be worn by her. He was just glad he’d seen her in it.

            Louise didn’t have anything to say to that. So she just folded her hands over her lap. “That is generous, thank you.”

            All the muscles in his face worked overtime to keep his eyes ahead instead of staring at her. “Right, let’s go make some wealthy friends, yeah?”

 

            The art gallery was in the high-end part of London; somewhere Louise hadn’t been in quite a while. She glanced out the car window to watch socialites and artists walking down the street. The city was already lit up as the sun finished setting. The air held electricity that could pump one’s blood full of adrenaline.

            A pressure settled on her shoulder and Louise could sense Alfie watching her. She glanced over and found out she was right.

            Realizing he’d been caught staring, he cleared his throat and looked straight ahead. “Do like that color.” He said in a gruff but hesitant tone. There was a hint of shyness to his demeanor. “Sorta like sapphires, innit?”

            “Have you purposefully dressed me up like a gemstone, Mr. Solomons?” Louise teased light-heartedly.

            It was the first time she made him smile and the first time she heard a genuine laugh from him. A deep chuckle from his chest. He was beautiful. And it was strange to think so. Louise had grown up dreaming she would marry a tall, clean-shaven man who was polite and gentle. Her boss didn’t exactly check off those boxes. But there was something about him that was endearing to her despite seeing his temper.

            “Well, figure jewels n’ money is all these sorts know.” He shrugged. “They speak the language, yeah?”

            “And what do you know? What language do you speak?”

            “Me?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Well, I know what they talk ‘bout, right? I can talk their language of wealth. But me, right, I get that there’s another world outside all that. World ain’t as simple and carefree as this lot thinks.” The car stopped in front of the gallery. A beautifully lavish building with marble stairs leading to the front door. “Sacrifices need to be made.” He got out of the car and lent a hand to Louise.

            “There are good things in the world though.” She disagreed civilly, the satin fabric of her elbow-length gloves brushing against his calloused palm.

            Alfie offered his arm to escort her up the stone steps. “Right, jewels n’ shit, that’s what I said.”

            She laughed and took his arm, gathering up the trail of her skirt so no one stepped on the delicate fabric. “Not stuff you can buy.” Alfie walked slowly beside her, allowing her time to walk up the stairs in her heels. “Natural things, beauty, and relationships. Friends and family. I mean, not everything is bad or needs to be bought.”

            He shook his head and let his cane fall heavily on each step. “Think you’ve been reading too many books, love.” Attendants of the gala helped take their coats at the door. Alfie took in Louise’s appearance in the dress again without her heavy coat. The bodice fit perfectly and the satin sleeves set deeply against her fair arms. She was a sight to be seen with luxurious chocolate curls pinned up. And she was on his arm, not another man’s.

            “That’s all a buncha horseshit, right?” He felt a little too rough and burly to be next to such a petite beauty. But she stuck close to him, her arm clutching his. It made him feel giddy and dizzy with guilt all at the same time. “None of that’s real, I mean fucking look at London. S’nothing but smoke and coal and misery.”

            Louise followed him into the crowd of people mingling, dancing, and talking about the art. “You don’t think love is real?” She asked over the classical music played by a string quartet. It was the amount of class that she had been so accustomed to before. Now she was back in the midst of it but in a very different position than before.

            “I think it’s a very foolish thing.”

            “You’ve never been in love? Ever?”

            Alfie found a small table where it was a bit quieter and they could speak properly. “Well, there was this one.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the white tablecloth. “Fucking gorgeous and fucking expensive. Couldn’t tell you how many sapphires were on that necklace. Could’ve bought meself a nice country home with that thing.”

            Louise sighed and gave him a look. “With a person, Alfie, not a piece of jewelry. Gems are just cold rocks.”

            He cracked a smile but shook his head. He dragged his fingers over his beard. “Nah, too much work to be done. Love takes time.”

            “Hm…” Louise surveyed the event, the lavish dresses, and elegant suits. Long sweeping gowns brushed over the shining floor. Jewels glinted in the lights. Alcohol ran like water, keeping them satiated. Cigarette smoke hung above the crowd like a hazy cloud. The art pieces were all cradled in gold gilded frames, carefully aimed lights highlighting them for potential buyers. Everything about the surroundings screamed money. It brought Louise no comfort.

            “What ‘bout you then?” Alfie watched her eyes study some of the art on the wall closest to them. Her mind was clearly elsewhere.

            “What about me?”

            “Think you’ve ever been in love?” He asked bluntly.        

            She chewed on her lip and gave a one-shouldered shrug. The beads on the dress bodice clicked together under her movements. “I thought I was once. But I don’t think you can love someone who took everything from you.”

            Alfie thought about his call to Tommy. Soon. He would right the wrongs soon. He just needed to be patient.

            “Oh, see there?” He leaned forward and pointed to a young gentleman with a sash across his tuxedo. The red silk was enough of an indication that he was important. A step above everyone else there.

            “Yes?”

            “That’s why we’re here.” He stood up and offered a hand to her. “French guy, yeah?”

            “Oh yes,” Louise remembered the reason for her invitation to the event. Certainly, Alfie didn’t want to take his secretary out to an art gallery for fun.

            The gangster commanded the crowd as he walked. His wide shoulders and strong demeanor made people in his way move without a second thought. Louise wasn’t sure if the art lovers knew who Alfie was or whether his intimidating appearance was enough to compel them to move.

            The French man glanced up and recognized him. A nervous twist tugged at the corner of his mouth.

            “Hope I’m not interrupting.” Alfie’s voice boomed over the music, a false sense of friendliness and familiarity shielding his toe.

            The two other men also appeared familiar with the gangster. “Mr. Solomons, this isn’t usually your setting.” An elderly man holding a glass of scotch spoke. He was calmer than the other two men. He spoke candidly. “And I see you’ve found yourself a beautiful woman, are you married?”

            “Oh, no, I’m his secretary.” Louise touched Alfie’s arm.

            “Ah, apologies. You two are so smartly dressed together, I assumed you were out to celebrate.”

            “S’alright.” Alfie cleared his throat. He could feel Louise’s hand and felt a strange bit of let down. The woman on his arm was only there because he paid her. But there was business to attend to, he couldn’t feel sorry for himself that he was undeserving of such a gentle woman.

            “Mr. Solomons, I think you’ve met the Viscount before.”

            “Yeah, I have. Louise, this is Jean. Viscount or whatever the fuck he wants to call himself.” He waved a dismissive hand to the aristocrat. His gold rings glinted in the light. Perhaps the man wasn’t a step above everyone in the room. Perhaps it was an illusion.

            “Should I translate for you, sir?” The other unnamed man beside the Viscount asked.

            “I’ve got me own translator here, mate, so he can’t talk shit right in front of me face. I know he’s fond of doing that.” Alfie responded roughly and glanced at his secretary. “Louise is more than capable.”

            “Oh uh,” She smoothed her hands over the front of her dress. “ _how do you do? My name is Louise; I’m Mr. Solomon’s secretary. He asked me to translate for you.”_

            “ _Louise, very nice to meet you, mademoiselle.”_ Jean took her hand to kiss her knuckles. She smiled but her boss looked ready to boil over in the middle of the gallery. “ _How did such a brute come to acquire such a beauty?”_ He nodded to Alfie, obviously feeling protected by the language barrier.

            Alfie noticed the gesture and his eye twitched. “What? What’d he say?” He urgently asked.

            “Uh…” Louise swallowed. She wouldn’t lie to him, but she also didn’t want to see his reaction to the remark. It was neither the time nor place for one of his explosive tirades. But she underestimated his restraint.

            “He asked how you came to have me?” She gave him the abridged version hoping that would be sufficient enough.

            “Right, enough with the games, yeah?” Alfie slammed his cane down and straightened up. “That woman right there, yeah, see her? She ain’t anyone’s property and I didn’t get all gussied up to talk about her, did I? You fucking know why I’m here.” He snarled. His voice built up like thunder in the distance but kept the interaction in a small sphere. The rest of the gallery either chose not to notice and get involved or was too drunk to care.

            Louise did her best to translate, packaging up his words and delivering them to the viscount. She didn’t know what he was leading up to. Alcohol couldn’t be a clean business but she didn’t think it would get this heated. But she was too busy trying to focus on the words that she couldn’t process it all. When she finished, Jean’s face had paled.

            “Yeah…don't need a translator now, can see it in those eyes of yours.” Alfie hissed, his eyes refusing move, making Jean more uncomfortable. “You know why I’m here. You fucking lying, cheating, thieving git. I ain’t going another day without your debts paid.” He jabbed two fingers at his chest. “You got all that?” He asked his secretary without looking at her.

            Louise nodded and relayed the less than tasteful response. It sounded strange coming from her in a different language, and the language of love no less.

            The Frenchman looked trapped but unwilling to bend to the gangster’s will. “ _Tell Mr. Solomons I don’t have his money. I’m not giving that Jew anything.”_

            It hit a nerve for her. The arrogance and venom were clear in his voice. So she would let her boss know everything. “He says he’s not paying you. He also spoke unkindly of your ethnicity.” Louise reported with a harsh glare toward the viscount.

            “Good lass.” Alfie praised. He almost seemed glad to have a reason to go off on the man. A glint of hellfire crossed his eyes as he took a closer step toward Jean. “Tell his _highness_ that if I don’t get me fucking money by midnight tonight, he’s going to wake up in bits at the bottom of the Thames. And if anyone listening wants to go whinging to the police like a bunch of fucking boys, they will meet the same fate. Right? Good?” He forcefully clapped a hand over Jean’s shoulder as Louise translated. His grip tightened when he saw the fear dilate in the man’s eyes.

            “He said he understands.” She told him after he gave a quiet and complacent reply.

            “Good!” Alfie patted the man’s shoulder again. “Nice to have a night to meself, not have to do much dirty business, eh?” He said in a faux cheery voice. “Louise,” He let her take his arm again, escorting her away from the men and towards one of the walls lined with art.

            Questions stormed in Louise’s head. Was Alfie serious about his threats? What did he really do to have French aristocrats owing him money? But the gala didn’t seem like the right place to ask, even if he thought it was the perfect place to threaten men. She wasn’t even sure that Alfie would answer her honestly. Of course, she thought she deserved an explanation because he’d set her as the middle of the exchange.

            “Which on you like best. What you think?” He gestured toward the art.

            “Oh, uh…” She took a few glances pushing away the shock of what she had just experienced. The art seemed to blur together under her strained confusion. But eventually, she found one that stood out. “I suppose that Monet is lovely.” She pointed to one. “I’ve always adored his style.”

            “Right, yeah, s’pose it looks nice.” He nodded. “You want it?”

            She looked up at him in shock, not sure if she had heard him correctly. “What?”

            “For your apartment? I’ll buy it for you. ‘M sure you’ve got somewhere to put it, yeah?”

            “Alfie,” Louise was taken aback by how casually he offered. “I’m sure it’s far too expensive.”

            “Yeah, but you’ve done good tonight, right, so figure you deserve a gift of sorts.” He shrugged and

            “Alfie…”

            “You’ve proven loyalty to me, right?” He held her gaze gently, tilting his head down slightly. His tone was so different from just a few minutes before. He spoke with curated compassion. It reminded Louise that she was fairly lucky to be on his good side. Valuable art wasn’t the greatest perk of the job. “I told you, if you were useful I’d compensate you.” He waved over one of the dealers.

            “Oh, Alfie, no…” Louise grabbed his arm, her cheeks turning pink.

            “Be getting that one, the Monet.” He said to the woman.

            “Of course, sir.”

            Louise’s lips parted in shock. “I-thank you.” She said softly.

            His blue eyes glanced back at her and a hint of a smile tugged at his lips. The man hadn’t felt much responsibility for anyone before. He didn’t know what it was like to be a father or husband. But this woman, this little dove deserved everything. He could see that now. She’d been raised in wealth and had fallen from grace because of unknown circumstances.

            “Do you dance?” She asked.

            “Ha, no…I don’t. My fucking hip, pain in the arse it is.” He chuckled. But it was a fib. Of course, he could handle beating a man’s skull in, he could dance a bit. It was just he wasn’t any good. Certainly a young, born and bred socialite woman like herself could dance and he didn’t want to embarrass her.

            “Oh, of course, I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize, love. Would you…” He cleared his throat as the words stuck in his throat. His hands leaned into his cane, tilting forward on the balls of his feet for a moment in discomfort. “Em, if you want to go and socialize, that’s alright.”

            Louise shook her head and didn’t even entertain the idea. “I don’t want to dance with anyone really.” She shrugged and fixed a piece of stray hair that had escaped the pins in her curls.

            Alfie felt a bit of pride. She’d asked him to dance but wasn’t interested in anyone else. “Right,” He tilted his chin down a bit. “Want to call it a night then?”

            “I do have to wake up early tomorrow.” Louise brought her hand to his arm as it was beginning to rub off on her. The feeling of the pressed fabric and the sense of protection being led by the imposing man.

            “Yeah? You don’t think your boss will be forgiving if you’re a bit late?” He teased and began to lead her back to the front to collect their coats. Seeing the pink in her cheeks and her long eyelashes fluttering slightly as she laughed was like taking a sharp inhale of some drug. Alfie hadn’t known what it was like to feel so intoxicated by a person. It was as if she could bring him to his knees, folding over like a piece of paper. No one could do that. But there was a possibility Louise would defy the odds.

            Perhaps he’d inhaled too much cigarette smoke.

            The attendant returned with their coats and Alfie helped Louise into hers. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes filled to the brim with questions.

            Right…he had just threatened to kill a man right in front of her. He sighed heavily and realized he needed to let her further into the abyss.

 

            “S’pose you’ll want to know what that as all about in there.” Alfie let out a heavy exhale, his wide shoulders falling, his arm brushing up against hers.

            The car began the drive back to Camden Town. Louise kept her eyes down as she delicately slid off the satin gloves. “You don’t have to explain anything. I understand the confidentiality agreement we discussed on my first day.” She murmured. The young woman thought about the painting and wondered if it was an incentive to keep quiet.           

            “See, thing is, I trust you.” He replied. “People ‘round me, you can see it their fucking eyes, yeah? One second of weakness and they’ll go in for the kill.”

            “Why do you trust me?” Louise dared to lift her head and meet his eyes.

            “I ain’t gonna give you the fucking keys to my business, yeah, but it’s sorta in your job description, innit? You know the schedule and bits n’ bobs of dealings. Wouldn’t involve you in anything too dangerous though, that’s not where you’re meant to be.”

            “I suppose that’s where I’m confused.” She pursed her lips. “You’re a…baker.” She couldn’t make the distinction between rum and bread, even in private. Alfie was very strict about that.

            “Yeah.”

            “What does a baker from Camden have to do with a French viscount?”

            His lips twitched with a hint of smile hidden under his mustache. “Good men, they run their businesses as God intended, right?”

            She nodded.

            “But I never said I was a good man, did I?” He gave her a side-eyed glance, mischief sparkling in his ocean colored eyes.

            The comment drew breath right out of her lungs. The devious look on his face sparked something fierce inside of her. “I didn’t…it’s hard to define a good man.” Her voice came out breathlessly and she tried not to seem as flustered as she felt.

            “Good men don’t kill.”

            Louise pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. It took her a few beats of silence to find the words or the precise emotion forming in her stomach. She wasn’t afraid so much as she was caught off guard. She had seen his anger and perhaps it should’ve been clear enough that the man was capable of murder. Maybe it was the naïve notion of seeing the good in others.

            “Have you killed someone?” She asked quietly.

            He let out a low chuckle and faced forward again. He didn’t want to frighten her but it was better to let her know now rather than a few months later. “The Bible, yeah, it’s fucking gruesome, innit? But our prophet, Moses, brought down the Commandments and informed us that God don’t look kindly on murderers.”

            Louise twisted her skirt in her hands. “Right…”

            “But God is forgiving, that right? You do what you have to do and at the end of the day, I can ask for forgiveness.” He expertly skirted around her question.

            “I-I suppose.”

            He didn’t look at her as the car rumbled down the road. “You gonna look at me different now?”

            “Alfie…”

            “S’alright if you do.” He stretched out his arm to adjust the cuff of his shirt. “Tend not to mind what people think of me.”

            “I can’t say I’ve killed anyone but I’ve had to ask God for forgiveness. Who am I to look down on you?” Louise tentatively reached out and touched his knee.

            He looked down. Her slender hand resting there naturally, adding further honesty.

            “It’s my decision of who I create ties with.” She continued in a firm tone. “I left my husband because of his nature and actions. But Alfie, you’ve been very kind to me. I trust you as well, even if it is against my better judgment.” The corner of her lips turned up a bit in a sympathetic smile.

            Alfie knew words were cheap so he didn’t go on rambling about how he wouldn’t hurt. It would be more significant to show her.


	4. Chapter 4

            Even though Louise was prospering in Camden Town, Alfie didn’t let go of the grudge he had against her husband. He still noticed when the stitches on her stomach caused her pain. The slight wince crossing her features and the sharp gasp of discomfort. Tommy was hesitant to give the man’s name to Alfie. But he gave in as long as Alfie promised not to do anything more than just break his nose or few fingers. After all, Louise didn’t ask the Peaky Blinders to kill her husband.

            A few days passed and Alfie waited patiently, or as patiently as he could.

            One night, after everyone had gone home, sounds of a scuffle started to kick up in the warehouse. Puzzled, Alfie stood up and reached for his gun. He opened the door and saw a few of his boys. “What you doing?” He strode over to them, pocketing his gun. “Fucking go home.” His boots shuffled heavily across the concrete floor of the distillery. The metallic sounds of his cane echoing through the large warehouse.

            “We found the man you were looking for, Mr. Solomons, Kelly.” One of the boys shoved a lanky man to the floor. Offering him like a sacrificial lamb to their boss.

            “Oh…very nice. Go on, stand up.” Alfie poked at him with his cane as he tucked his gun away. He’d have to keep his finger off the trigger so he would limit himself to just physical force.

            The man staggered to his feet, clutching his stomach in pain having been jumped while staggering out of the bar. “What hell do you think you’re doin’?” He demanded.

            The man reeked of alcohol and he was disheveled. He was taller than Alfie but looked like a weed, easy to snuff out but annoying as hell. One of those gits that didn’t know when to quit. Alfie hated men like that.

            “Daniel Kelly, correct?”

            The man had dirty blonde hair sticking to his sweat covered forehead. He squinted and tried to size up the gangster boss through his gin-kaleidoscope vision. “Yeah, who’s asking?”

            “Well, that don’t matter, do it? All that matters is you’ve been a bit unkind to one of me employees, yeah?” Alfie cracked his knuckles and gripped his cane tightly.

            “Don’t know what you’re fuckin’ talking’ about.” The man was too intoxicated to see what sort of danger he was in. It was a shame what gin did to inflate the ego. Alfie had killed a lot of men who were so hopped up on liquid courage that they didn’t turn away when they had the chance. Pesky flies just begging to be smacked down by a biblical force.

            “Don’t even know who you are, mate. Where am I?”

            “Now why would a man harm his wife?” Alfie looked at his boys. “Any guesses, lads?”

            They didn’t respond, knowing their boss was just working up to the finale of caving the man’s face in. It wasn’t wise to interrupt his monologue lest they wanted to join the victim.

            “No? I’ve got one.” He raised his right hand as if he’d come to a divine epiphany. “Maybe, right, he’s a fucking lowlife and a drunk who don’t deserve someone like her. What you think, _mate_?”

            “Louise?” Daniel furrowed his eyebrows and his lanky body wavered, trying to stay upright. “You talkin’ ‘bout me wife?”

            Alfie didn’t answer. He was on a roll of working himself up, stroking his temper like a feral tiger ready to be unleashed. “Thing is, I like going through me day without having to come across fucking scum of the Earth, like you.” He jabbed his finger at his chest. “I also prefer women not get taking advantage of. You fucking think you're tough, yeah? Picking on a girl half your size. Think it makes you man?”

            “Bigger man than you,” Daniel smirked and looked down at the Jewish gangster. “Fucking little man.”

            Alfie just chuckled darkly. His associates knew that was the last straw and braced themselves for impact.

            “Right…” He passed his cane to his other hand and punched the man with a power that nearly caved his entire face in.

            Daniel’s nose made a sickening crack and blood poured down his face. He collapsed to his knees holding his face. “Jus’ tell me where she is, this ain’t any of your fuckin’ business!” His voice was distorted from his broken nose. Dark warmth pooling in his palms, streams slipping out between his fingers and down the front of his hand. Thick blood drops hit the concrete with a sticky sounding plunk.

            “It is me fucking business because look where you are. You’re standing in me bakery and ain’t no one gonna hear you scream, mate. You tried to kill my secretary. You dug your own fucking grave, mate, you put yourself here.” Alfie calmly wiped the blood from his knuckles. Blood spatter accenting his sleeves in a violent design. “Next time I hear about you doing something else like this, I’m gonna have me boys bring you back here, to me, and I’m going to fucking break your fucking legs!” His voice lost its frightening restraint. His shout rang loudly through the bakery, frightening a few birds from the rafters. “Yeah? Got it? Get up, and fuck off. Don’t fucking let me catch you doing this again.” Alfie turned and went to walk away. Despite the irritating nature of the man, he assumed his job was done and the message was clear. Although, Alfie had a sliver of hope that his threats didn’t get through Daniel’s thick skull. He decided he would want the pleasure of breaking a few more bones.

            He’d get the final laugh anyways.

            “Have fun with her then, she’s a fuckin’ whore, she’ll open her legs up for anyone, even a fuckin’ monster like you,” Daniel called out after him and spat at the ground. His saliva clotted with blood.

            Alfie stopped in his tracks. His hands curling into fists as his temper hit a peak. He threw his cane with a loud clang against the concrete floor. He walked over to him with the devil shaking beneath him. A storm raged in his ocean colored eyes. He reached into his waistcoat and retrieved a switchblade. It was typically for daily use but Alfie didn’t discriminate against weapons. If it could kill a man, he’d use it.

            Daniel gave him a look of confusion when he returned, trying to hold his shirt over his bleeding nose.

            “Right,” The gangster dragged Daniel to his feet and slammed him up against a nearby support beam. “Guess what I’m gonna do with this?” Alfie flipped open the blade and held it to the man’s stubble-covered jaw. “I’m gonna do the same thing you did to Miss Barnes. ‘Cept you’re not going to live. I’m sending you straight to fucking hell, you save a spot for me, yeah?” He hissed and thrust the knife into Daniel’s stomach. Dark maroon spread over the man’s white shirt, eliciting a scream from the man with every stab.

            After a frenzied vortex of time as Alfie blacked out from rage, the blade broke off in the man’s torso. So he let Daniel fall to the ground. He took out his gun, cocked it, and shot the man between the eyes.

            The gunshot echoed through the empty warehouse. Then a quiet settled as if nothing had happened. The night continued on.

            Alfie pocketed his gun and dropped the broken blade handle. Blood spattered over his shirt and soaked his arms. Painted with the aftermath of his crime. He sliced himself a bit in the fevered attack but didn’t feel the pain. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and took care of numbing his nerves.

            “Right, fucking get it outta here.” He huffed and shook blood off his hands, drops flying against nearby barrels. “Don’t care where you dump it. Then come back and clean up.” He waved the boys off and returned to his office to cleanse himself of sin.

 

            The next morning, Louise was unaware of her husband’s death. She walked into the bakery and found one of the men mopping up a dark, sticky puddle. Confused, she went to Alfie’s office.

            “Come in,” Alfie called after she knocked.

            Louise slipped off her coat and hung it up beside his overcoat on the hook. “What spilled outside?” She asked.

            “Just some resin, nothing too bad.” He lied through his teeth and continued reading. He should've known she'd pick up on the little things. Minor details like that didn't go over her head, she was as sharp as a whip.

            “Oh…” She sat down and took out her diary. His hands appeared in her line of vision and startled her. “What about your hands?”

            Fresh bandages covered the cuts on Alfie’s hands. “Splinters.” He muttered.

            The answer wasn’t convincing but she didn’t want to pry. That wasn’t her job. “Okay, well-” The telephone interrupted her.

            Alfie grumbled incoherently under his breath and picked up the receiver. “’Ello?”

            “What did I fucking tell you?”

            The voice on the other line was unmistakable. And it was far too early in the morning to listen to Tommy Shelby chewing him out. “Tommy, so good to hear from ya, mate, anything I can do for you?”

            “I said I’d give you his name if you didn’t kill him. Now you’re getting sloppy, couldn’t even get the body to the river to dump it?” The Blinder demanded. “Your boys dumped him on the side of the road!”

            “No fucking idea what you’re going on about.” Alfie’s eyes flicked up to see Louise patiently waiting across the desk. She had no idea.

            “Really? Right, well now you’ve got to tell his widow what happened. And you better tell her the truth, Alfie, of I will.”

            “You fucking what?” His fist fell onto the desk making his secretary flinch. He gritted his teeth and restrained himself as best he could for her sake. “You trying to back me into a corner, Tommy boy?”

            “She paid us for protection, she didn’t say anything about murdering him.” He retorted, not intimidated by his fierce opposition.

            “Had it fucking coming, didn’t he?” Alfie demanded. “Yeah? Don’t think he’s some saint, do ya?”

            “Right, I can understand, really, I can. But you need to tell her. You can’t cover this up or the police will start asking her questions. You want to save her the trouble of being a suspect?”

            The gangster looked at Louise. She appeared puzzled but not uncomfortable. “Fine.” He forcefully returned the receiver to the hook.

            “Everything alright?” She had a sinking feeling in her gut that the call from Mr. Shelby had something to do with her.

            Alfie sighed and interlocked his fingers on the desk. “Your husband was found dead.”

            Her eyes widened and a hand flew to her mouth. “What?” Her whisper muffled against her palm. “W-when? How?”

            “I uh…” He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. There wasn’t any telling what kind of reaction she would have. But he didn’t expect her to see how distraught she was. “He…”

            Louise hadn’t seen him so lost for words. The uneasiness on his face was unmistakable. Her jaw dropped in disbelief. The realization and horror spreading over her face. “You didn’t.”

            He swallowed and his eyes flicked down to betray his stoic expression. “Louise-”

            “Alfie, please tell me you didn’t. Tell me it was someone else.” She begged. The last thing she wanted was for her view of the man to be too utterly distorted to fix it.

            He shook his head. “I only meant to rough him up a bit.” He muttered. When had he ever felt shame for committing murder? Maybe his first time but it wore off soon after. He thought he was doing something chivalrous for her. But she was cut from a different cloth.

            “I told you.” Her voice shook violently as she glared at him, hints of fear behind her eyes. “I told you to leave it, didn’t I?”

            “Yes-”

            “I told you to leave in the past. You went behind my back. I didn’t ask you to do this, I didn’t want him dead!” She cried, her voice rising.

            Alfie dragged a hand over his face. “I was planning on just breaking his fucking nose-”

            “But I didn’t ask you to do even that! How did you even learn who he was?” She demanded.

            “If ya just let me finish me fucking sentence, I’ll fucking explain!” He couldn’t help but feed off her angry energy. His temper was always starving for a reason to go off. Even if it was Louise.

            “Don’t you dare,” She stood up and leaned over his desk, pressing her palms into the wood. “Don’t you fucking dare yell at me! Not after what you did!”

            He pressed back in his leather desk chair. It was the first time he’d ever heard her swear. It affected him more than he realized it possibly could. He clenched his jaw and composed himself. “I’m not trying to yell at you. But I have a reason for what I did.”

            “I can’t imagine you have a good enough reason when I explicitly told you not to get into it.” She spat. Her entire body appeared to tremble with anger.

            “He fucking wouldn’t shut his fucking mouth!” Alfie matched her volume and heaved himself up out of his chair.

            “And you’re so good at that?” She retorted. “You can’t do whatever you want, you don’t make up the rules. The world doesn’t bow down to Alfie Solomons!” She shouted.

            “He called you a whore!” He slammed his fist down on the desk making it quiver. “I ain’t fucking apologizing for giving him exactly what he deserved!”

            Louise flinched but didn’t back away from him. “I can’t believe you. I thought you were different, but people were right about. You’re heartless.” Tears formed in her eyes.

            Alfie tensed up and his heart froze over. He wanted to inform her that he cared so deeply about her and would do anything for her because he knew she deserved it.

            “I can’t even look at you.” She turned and roughly wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her blouse.

            “Louise!” He called after her but didn’t follow after she slammed the door to his office shut. “Fuck.” He mumbled and collapsed back into his chair.

            Cyril whimpered softly from his bed. The dog’s sagging cheeks resting on his front paws, his sad eyes looking up at his master.

            Alfie put his head in his hands, tugging at his hair out of frustration. “She’ll be the death of me.” He grumbled to his dog. “Mark me words.”


	5. Chapter 5

            Louise showed up at work the next day. Her face was plastered over, stuck in a stony expression. She wore a black dress as if to drive the blade further into Alfie’s chest. She didn’t ignore him; everything had to do with business though. Her voice was dull and emotionless. She wouldn’t show him any weakness.

            It crushed Alfie far more than he expected. Once the day finished, he was worn out even though he hadn’t gotten much work done. He was too preoccupied with Louise’s behavior. He wondered if he could ever make it up to her or ever have her the way he wished he could. Smiling and happy on his arm. Making him seem like a better man than he really was. Heartless. She couldn’t love a man who was heartless.

 

            “Hello?”

            “Tommy, it’s Alfie.” The gangster boss muttered. It was about eight at night and had begun to rain. Alfie didn’t want to return home, he was afraid that without any distractions he would drive himself mad.

            “Something you need?” The Shelby asked curiously.

            “I want you to come pick up the money you gave me, the half of Louise’s inheritance.”

            Tommy went quiet. He knew it had to have something with Alfie murdering Daniel. “You should give it to her if you really don’t want it, eh?”

            “Doubt she’d take it from me. Fucking hates me guts now, don’t she?” Alfie’s hand tightened around the receiver of the phone.

            “Just add it to her paycheck then.” He suggested. “I don’t want to take it.” The man didn’t think it was right to take more money from the woman.

            Alfie grunted. “I fucked up, Tom.” His voice lost some of its usual sternness.

            “I know.” He wasn’t going to sugar coat it. “Can’t take it back now though.”

            “She’ll hate me. Thinks I’m this soulless thing. Fucking evil of the Earth, exactly what everyone else thinks.” It was a rare thing for Alfie to let his outer shell crack. But he knew Tommy had been in love and could sympathize even a little bit.

            “You could try to right it. Can’t buy yourself out of it though like everything else,” He warned. “Woman can see right through that, especially women like her.”

            Alfie rested his elbow on his desk, putting his head in his hand. “She’s got my bollocks in a vice, she does. Haven’t even told her what I feel for her but she’s fucking got me wrapped ‘round her pinky like I was nothing but a toy.”

            Tommy was a little surprised he was being so honest. It showed the most humanity he’d ever seen in Alfie and it made him downright uncomfortable. “Well, you can figure it out, right? You know her better than me.”

            “Don’t know.” Alfie lifted his head and scratched the nape of his neck. “Still…you won’t take the money?”

            “No. You’ll find something to do with it if she doesn’t accept it.”

            “Don’t want the fucking money.”

            He wanted her.

 

            That same night, rain spattered against the windowpane. Alfie had finally gone home. He sat in the parlor, trying to read. But he’d been stuck on the same paragraph for a while. His brain couldn’t absorb the information so he kept rereading.

            A banging on the door interrupted the struggle of his thoughts. Alfie set his book aside and heard Evelyn trotting down the stairs.

            “S’alright, Evelyn, I’ve got it.” He didn’t want the girl opening the door so late at night. He walked to the door and opened it.

            Louise was standing on the front step, looking like a wet cat. The rain had soaked right through her dress, her curls limp and sticking to her face. It was impossible to distinguish the raindrops from the tears on her cheeks.

            Her lower lip quivered. “Can I come in?”

            Alfie nodded. “’Course.” He said quietly and let her in. “Why’re you out there without a fucking coat?” He asked.

            She shook her head but didn’t answer.

            “Evelyn, get some towels, yeah?” He called up to the girl.

            “Yes, Mr. Solomons!” She replied.

            He led Louise to the parlor where flames blazed in the fireplace. He let her warm up a bit while Evelyn came downstairs with a heap of fluffy towels.

            “Miss Barnes, you look freezing!” She gasped and quickly helped the woman wrap up in the towels.

            “Thank you, Evelyn.” She said, her voice cracking.

            “That’s all, Lyn,” Alfie said steadily.

            The girl looked worried, not sure why Louise was there in such a state but left the parlor on his orders.

            Louise stood stock still near the fire aside from brief shivers wracking her body.

            Alfie backed up and sat down on one of the couches. He wasn’t sure what to say to her after their argument and subsequent coldness between them that day. He leaned forward, his hands clasped between his wide spread knees.

            She used one of the towels to do her best to dry her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m intruding so late.” Her voice finally came out in an ashamed tremble. The fire lit up her hazel eyes, glowing flecks of amber hidden in the irises.

            “S’not a problem.” He mumbled. “There a reason you’re here?” He didn’t want to sound cold, but he wanted to get down to the bottom of it. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to argue with her again. It hurt too much last time despite fully engaging in it without hesitation.

            She sucked in her lower lip, tugging on it between her teeth. “I have to apologize for how I treated you today and yesterday.” Her eyes were on his, holding sincerity.

            “You don’t need to apologize, yeah? Your emotions are your emotions, can’t change that.”

            “The truth is I’m not really angry with you. I don’t know what I’m really angry at.” She lowered the towel and folded it over her arm. Her chilled body slowly warming up beside the fire. “You don’t know what I went through with Daniel.”

            “You could tell me, yeah, if that would help.” He offered. “I’m all ears. I’m not angry and I’m sorry ‘bout all that yesterday. Weren’t fair for me to yell at you after what I did.”

            “No, I know.” She hugged herself close, keeping the soft towel around her shoulders. “I uh…I guess I should start from the beginning.” She swallowed the lump in her throat.

            Alfie patted the couch beside him so she would sit down.

            “I’m still damp.”

            “Don’t matter, it’ll dry, s’just water.”

            She nodded and walked over to sit on the couch. She kept her distance though, afraid he was still upset with her despite what he’d said. “My parents wanted me to marry this man that we’d known for a while, a family friend’s son. He was wealthy, Oxford graduate, with very good manners. But when I was with him...I felt like I was nothing but a little toy to tote around the events. He’d show me off and then act like I was just emotionless or nothing but a shell of a person.”

            Alfie furrowed his eyebrows and let out a grunt with a frown. He could get that impression from a lot of wealthy men.

            “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him, and if I married him that’s what I would have to put up with. My parents would look down on me if I tried for a divorce.” She reached up to brush her damp hair away from her face. Then she used the towel around her shoulders to try to dry her curls again. “I met Daniel, he was a driver for another family we knew. He swept me off my feet and I felt so excited knowing that there was something else to life. He’d take me out dancing and drinking. I felt like I was free. My parents hated him but I didn’t care. I eloped with him after six months. It was all right for a bit. He could never hold a job so I had to work too. I sold some jewelry, anything to keep us afloat. We had to move to Birmingham. But I was too stupid to see how things were changing. I thought he was just a down on his luck boy that would turn into my prince in shining armor. My parents would see that he was perfect for me.” She laughed bitterly. “I was such a daft teenager.”

            Alfie pursed his lips. He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault and that most teenagers were daft. He certainly wasn’t a wise and orderly chap. He could imagine her parents would disapprove of him as well. The teenager with an unstable temper, a penchant for stealing, and the gift of riling up police officers.

            “I guess a year or so into the marriage I couldn’t ignore everything. He rarely kept a job longer than a week. He’d take my earnings and go off.” She waved a hand in the air disgust pricking at her eyes. “Gambling, drinking, having an affair, I never knew. Kept me away from the people I loved most. Often told me that no one would care for me the way he did.”

            Cyril padded into the room after pestering Evelyn for a treat. He went over to Louise, resting his droopy face on her knees. She smiled faintly at him and began stroking his ears. The motion kept her grounded as she recounted her history.

            “After a while, he started asking why I wasn’t getting pregnant. He wouldn’t let it go and blamed me. He just kept going on about how I was damaged and worthless.” Louise’s voice caught her throat. Her late husband’s voice echoed in her mind, ranting and raving about how she wasn’t a woman if she couldn’t get pregnant. “Said I was only good for fucking.” A tear escaped down her cheek.

            Alfie’s jaw clenched as he took out a handkerchief and offered it to her. Part of him was beside himself that a woman would be told such things. The other half of him wished he had the ability to raise people from the dead so he could kill Daniel again and again.

            Since he didn’t say anything, Louise continued, unaware of his seething beneath the surface. “I got so sick of it. One day, I challenged him. I said maybe he was the infertile one, not me.” A cloud covered her face as the vivid memory resurfaced. Standing in the dark kitchen, Daniel stinking of gin, look of rage burning his face red as the fateful words left her mouth. “That’s when he first hit me.” Her eyes focused on Cyril to keep her composure. The memory kept playing because she knew Daniel didn’t just hit her. She remembered the brutal force against her cheek as he grabbed her by the back of the neck and slammed her down into the kitchen table.

            Her breathing became shallower as she scratched behind Cyril’s ears. The bullmastiff could sense something was troubling her so he leaned his body weight against her legs. The pressure was comforting and allowed Louise to pull herself out of her own memories and return to the present.

            Alfie stood stock still beside her. Everything twisted around in his stomach; his heart lunging against his ribs, Louise’s past haunted him. If only he’d known. If only he’d been there. He would put an end to it immediately so she would never see abuse. So she wouldn’t have to wake up every morning with the scars etched into her bones. He knew what it was like to open his eyes and all the traumatic memories flooding through like sunlight. Every time he wished he could wake up without remembering. It was torture enough to have gone through it. But the lingering effects were salt in the wound.

            “I kept threatening to leave but I never did.” Louise began talking again once she composed herself enough. “I was scared he would kill me. There wasn’t any way I could back to my parents either. I know they loved me so much but I defied them every step of the way and ruined my life. I never got the chance to amend. They were killed in an accident.”

            She revealed what she’d kept from him on a professional standing. And Alfie wasn’t sure how Louise had managed to be there, sitting next to him. It was as if life kept hurling rocks at her but she continued to get up every time. “Lou…”

            “Alfie, I won’t thank you for what you did.” She looked up from Cyril, her hazel eyes still blazing in the firelight. “But, I can’t judge you for it. I can forgive you.”

            “Dunno if you should.” He muttered back and reached back to run his fingers through the back of his hair. “I didn’t fucking listen to you like I should’ve…”

            “I thought about killing him.” Her voice came out in a choked gasp as if someone had been choking her but finally let her breathe again. It was something she’d kept to herself. No one around her could understand. But if anyone could it would be the man who _had_ killed Daniel.

            Alfie blinked and almost asked if he’d heard her right. But there was no mistaking the words.

            Her eyes were hard as she nodded shakily, sensing his disbelief. “And not just like… ‘Oh, I wish he’d disappear’. No, I uh…I thought about taking a pillow and just-” She pressed her hands down on her thighs to mimic smothering someone. “But I wasn’t strong enough. So I looked for other ways out.” She looked down again in shame. She was delving into her darkest thoughts, shining a light on them. Everything looked so ugly when illuminated.

            The man beside her could think of many ways to dispatch of Daniel but he didn’t want to make her feel worse. Women like her didn’t need to hear the details of how he got rid of problems.

            “If I tried to kill him…he’d kill me. If I succeeded in killing him, I’d probably be hanged. So…” She twisted her fingers together, stray raindrops slipping between her palms. “I figured the easiest way would be to end my own life.” Louise couldn’t help but let out a small sob. She couldn’t contain it. The act of speaking those words was too painful but she felt a burdened eased off her.

            “Lou...” Alfie shifted a bit closer to her. He wasn’t the best at comforting people. Usually, he was the reason people _needed_ comforting.

            “I know it sounds so silly. There are people who have it far worse than I-”

            “Louise.” He interrupted her sternly. “That’s ‘nough of that. Fuck the world, yeah, you have the right to feel how you like. World’s not a contest of who has it fucking worse.” He clasped his hands together. “You’re the one who went through it, not anyone else.”

            She sniffled and looked up at him. Her lashes were glossed over with tears. The very vision a painter conjured when depicting the grief of a woman. The weight of the world pressing down on her and continuing to cut pieces away from her. God always took from the ones with the best intentions. Alfie felt like he deserved his misfortunes. He personally carved out the hollowness inside him. Every action he took justified another stab to the gut. But Louise was like him. She didn’t choose to do what he did. She never fought back like him. She complacently took the pain, only dreaming of a way of out it. Alfie indulged in the sin and misery. For a brief moment, he felt full. Having a man’s life in his hand, soaking in the fear of others, adorned in jewels, and passing along high amounts of money. But it never lasted.

            Louise lasted.

            “You’re safe now, yeah, won’t let anyone hurt you. But if you ever feel like that again, you tell me, yeah?” He wouldn’t take suicide lightly. He’d seen men in the war ready to end the suffering. Some men who made it home were unable to cope. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Louise made that decision. “You don’t have to tell me. You could tell Evelyn, Ollie, fucking call up Tommy Shelby if ya need to. But promise me,” He held her gaze to ensure she knew how serious he was. “Promise you won’t keep it to yourself. Because you don’t need to.”

            Louise wiped at her eyes and nodded. “I will.” She whispered weakly.

            Alfie nodded. “Right, good. Need you around.”

            She cocked an eyebrow at him. The wording had come out a little desperately, much more than he intended.

            “Mean, who else could be my secretary?” He hurried to cover up any hints of affection towards her. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. She didn’t want him. “I mean, fucking hell, I can actually read your writing. Ollie’s was just chicken scratch, wasn’t it?”

            It drew a smile from Louise. A sunbeam breaking through the clouds. “I’m sure it’s just fine. You’re too hard on him.”

            “Nah, you’ve got great penmanship. Lovely, innit? Like art it is.” He praised her to bring out her smile even more.

            “Who thought penmanship would be so coveted in a gangster’s world?” She sighed and shook her head. It was something she had to come to terms with. Alfie Solomons was a gangster. She worked for a gangster. “I mean I don’t know my way around a gun to save my life.”

            He chuckled. “Business ain’t all blood. Keeping books, now that’s crucial. ‘Sides, I could teach you how to shoot.” He offered. “To protect yourself.”

            Louise made a face. “I will respectfully decline.” She reached down. “I have this for protection.”

            Alfie was startled as she hiked her skirt up to her knee. If that wasn’t surprising enough, she unsheathed a knife from a thigh holster.

            “Fucking hell, do you always have that?” His eyes were wide and she allowed him to examine the knife.

            “After I left the hospital I started carrying it.” She admitted sheepishly. Every time she put on the holster she felt unlike herself. She wasn’t shielded in the bubble of her upbringing anymore though.

            “’S’good, keep it.” He gave it back to her, taking care of the sharp blade. “No one in Camden will touch you though.”

            She bent down to return the knife to its holster. “What do you mean?”

            “You’re under my protection.” He straightened up and rolled up the sleeves of his loose fitting shirt. “Anyone who knows what’s good for them will steer clear.”

            Something pinched in Louise’s stomach. He was threatening the entire Camden Town area. Letting out the news that anyone who harmed her would end up like her late husband. It was startling and comforting. Something strange to behold. She bit the tip of her tongue but couldn’t stop herself. “That’s why you left him on the street? To send a message?” Her voice warped around the unfamiliar phrase.

            He grunted and tugged at his beard. “What I do, all my misdeeds, yeah, you don’t have to hear. I won’t involve you in nothing, never intended to. But you want me to be honest, then I will.”

            Louise smoothed her damp skirt down and crossed her ankles. “I want you to be honest.”

            He nodded slowly, almost in a dazed state. He stared ahead at the fire that was starting to lose its power. “Your husband was the last man to lay his hands on you.” His voice was full of conviction. Anyone who tried to defy that would meet a gruesome fate. But Louise didn’t need to know the details. “Anyone who lays a hand on you in Birmingham will have the Peaky Blinders on them. And I’ll fucking admit I wouldn’t want those fucking animals after me. Had that happen before and can’t have that happening again. Nicer when we have an understanding.”

            Louise didn’t want to linger on the fate of foolish men. “So…how many other…families are around?” She had no idea about underground criminal syndicates. She wasn’t even sure her parents knew.

            “Depends on where you are. You got the Italians, Sabini. Got a few more in Camden, allies with them though. They know I run the Town.” He said a bit cockily. “Fuck there’s a gang of all women and I swear they’ve got she-devils in them. Wouldn’t cross them.”

            It was funny to hear the brutal man talk about people he personally wouldn’t cross. “I thought you were the tough one around here.” She tilted her head to the side. She couldn’t imagine there was someone as ruthless as Alfie.

            “Well, don’t think they’d cross me without good reason.” He rested an arm across the back of the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “It’s about balance, can’t have one bloke have all the power. You can’t go ‘round killing everyone or you’ll have their mates coming after you. Everything’s calculated. It’s not a manner of who’s deadlier, it’s ‘bout who’s smarter, cunning, yeah?”

            The woman was starting to become a little nauseous at the idea. They were all walking a razor-thin rope. One misstep could kill them. She swallowed and gathered herself. “Well, it’s late. I ought to get home.” Her voice rambled out hurriedly.

            “You could stay the night. It don’t matter.” He offered and stood up.

            “No, I’ve pestered you long enough.” She said and cleared her throat.

            The rain was still pelting like bullets against the windows. It was pitch black and hard to see past a foot ahead.

            “Shouldn’t walk home in this.” Alfie shook his head. “Just stay the night, I’ll drive you in the morning if it’s still pouring.”

            “No, Alfie, thank you.” She patted Cyril’s head and went for the door. The cold rain wasn’t pleasant but she still needed to process a few things about it all.

            “Louise, just the night. S’fucking awful out there, don’t want ya to catch your death.” His blue eyes pled quietly.

            She sighed and nodded. “Okay, just tonight.”

            “Evelyn?” Alfie called up to the girl again. “Would you make up the spare room for Miss Barnes?”

            “Of course, Mr. Solomons, Louise, can I draw you a bath?” The girl appeared at the staircase landing.

            “No, thank you, Evelyn.” She smiled. When the girl disappeared, Louise turned to him. “Thank you for speaking with me.” She said quietly. “But, Alfie, I just want you to know that this won’t be easy for me. I will still work for you but you can imagine my…apprehension.” She didn’t want to mention her husband. She’d given him more than enough grief for that and felt like she didn’t have a leg to stand on when she realized how little she mourned the loss. But she wouldn’t become like Alfie. “I just…I wanted to apologize for yesterday and what I said. You’re not heartless. A heartless man wouldn’t let me in and listen.”

            He gazed at her, feeling more than conflicted. While he knew he could have compassion, he wasn’t sure if she still wasn’t seeing him in the correct light.

            “I think I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” Her lips pursed and she tugged at her dress sleeve. “You promised to protect me. But my trust is very small for anyone these days. I’m sure you could understand that.”

            He nodded stiffly. “Very well…I know that very well.” She was to be trusted though, even if it was blind trust. Blindly trusting her because she was something so treasured in his eyes. The key to a damaged and hellish man’s heart. Foolish.

            “Well, goodnight then.” She said and touched his arm, her fingertips grazing over the white sleeve.

            Alfie stood at the base of the staircase, watching her ascend. He put his hands in his pockets as if to hide the residual blood on his hands. All the blood from every man he’d finished off. Every heart he stopped from beating. Every last breath he’d snatched out of the air. Something Louise would never understand and never see as virtuous.

            He could never be virtuous for her. But he longed to have her anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

            It was still raining the next morning so Alfie and Louise drove to the bakery. They stopped at her apartment beforehand to allow her to get a fresh change of clothes and her coat. They didn’t say much on the short drive there. Louise nibbled at a pastry Evelyn had wrapped up for her. Alfie didn’t eat.

            The night before seemed like a fever dream. Both of them acted out of character. She broke down, not afraid to appear vulnerable. He had comforted her and didn’t interrupt once. Time would tell if they returned to normal that day. After all, Alfie had killed her husband. It was perplexing to Louise. She knew the proper reaction would be to run. But it never crossed her mind.

            Louise subtly glanced over at the gangster. He was focused on the rain slipping across the car window and didn’t notice. The brim of his hat tilted down a bit, covering his eyes in a shadow. With his head at an angle, she could view his profile. He’d trimmed his bear recently and she could clearly see the bare strip of skin running down his right cheek. She’d noticed it before, but it was much more prominent when he kept his facial hair shorter.

            Louise was apprehensive. She wasn’t afraid to ask about the scar, Alfie wouldn’t mind. She was more afraid of what caused it. In Alfie’s line of work, it could’ve been anything.

            The car stopped and Alfie snapped out of his thoughts while Louise averted her eyes so he didn’t notice she was looking at him.

            “Watch out there, there’ll be fucking puddles everywhere.” He said as he got out of the car.

            She stepped out and opened the umbrella they’d brought. She caught up to Alfie, skirting around the muddy puddles.

            Alfie pushed open the heavy side doors, allowing her inside. “Morning Ollie.” He greeted the young man who was waiting by the entrance.

            Louise closed up the umbrella, shaking it out near the door. She leaned it against the wall to dry.

            “Mr. Sabini is here,” Ollie said warily.

            Alfie’s face visibly changed. His forehead creased and his mustache twitched. “Mate, I’m gonna need you to fucking say that to me again because I thought I heard you say…”

            “You have an appointment with Mr. Sabini.” Louise stepped into the conversation. She shrugged off her coat and casually lifted her hands to fix the pins in her hair.

            He cocked his head to the side and his eyes flicked to her. “Eh?”

            “I told you yesterday.” She met his gaze. “I told Ollie too so he’d know.”

            Ollie cringed subtly, fearing the worse. It was very hard to stop Alfie in the middle of his ranting. And usually, if someone tried, his anger would just change course to the person who interrupted him.

            Alfie swallowed and regrouped. “Yeah…’course.” He nodded briskly. “I remember.” He didn’t. The day before he’d been too preoccupied to really retain anything.

            She shook her head slightly because she knew he had forgotten. “I’ll be in your office if you want me to be in the meeting as well.” She walked down the hallway through the distillery.

            “He’s downstairs,” Ollie told his boss.

            Alfie grunted in agreement and pulled off his jacket, ready to get into the meeting with Sabini. He lagged behind Louise, watching her walk to his office. Her high-heeled boots clicked across the concrete and drew the worker’s attention.

            Unaware of Alfie’s presence nearby, the younger men ogled at Louise. One of them wolf-whistled at her. He was too new to the bakery to fully realize his mistake.The second the fateful whistle hit his ears, Alfie snapped back into the rampage that had been cut off. He shoved his coat at Ollie and went towards the direction of the noise. He moved like a storm cloud, intimidating and dangerous. Louise heard him approaching and turned around.

            “Right, who was that?” He shouted.

            Some of the men looked caught off guard. But it was never too early or late for a Solomons-style performance review. The warehouse went silent aside from some scuffles and machinery noises.

            In the silence, the pressure was building up, perfect for an explosion. “Right, either someone steps forward or everyone in this fucking place is getting it, yeah?”

            Louise’s eyes widened. “Alfie…”

            “And since this fucking weather has got me in such a bloody _fantastic_ mood, I’ll let you lot choose.” He held his arms out like a ringleader of a circus. “I’ll dock your pay or I’ll fucking break both your hands!” He slammed his cane down on the floor.

            One man decided to point out the culprit, subtly nodding to the young man to the left of him.

            “Seems we’ve got some honest people her after all. Louise, go to me office.” He didn’t look at her but his voice was firm.

            “Alfie, this isn’t necessary, please just leave it.” She urged and stepped toward him.

            “I run this place my own way.” He replied tersely, still not looking at her.

            “Then I’m staying right here.” She crossed her arms over her chest and didn’t budge. She hoped maybe her presence would deter him from doling out any punishments.

            It didn’t.

            “You two.” Alfie snapped his fingers to bring them front and center. The man who catcalled Louise and the man sold him out walked forward. They took their spots in front of their boss, facing judgment.

            Louise’s stomach dropped. “Alfie.” She called again.

            He ignored her quivering voice. There was no way he’d let the men get away with it and he wasn’t about to appear weak in front of his staff. Not even a gentle, concerned woman would make him appear weak.

            Alfie Solomons was a name to be feared.

            “I run this business with men.” The gangster began, his voice threatening to set off at any moment like a grenade. “I don’t employ boys…children, yeah, who can’t behave when they see a woman. Miss Barnes is under my employ and my protection. You lot are fucking disposable, right, you keep that in mind.” He hissed. In a flash, he grabbed the younger man and slammed his head into a support beam. Old blood already stained the wood and the beam creaked from the pressure. The man collapsed, knocked out cold.

            Louise flinched and turned her face away so she didn’t see anything. The sound of something cracking made her sick to her stomach.

            But Alfie wasn’t done yet. He turned to the other man who looked terrified. “And you, yeah, think you did good?” His breathing was off-kilter from the amount of force he’d used. “Think you’re a brave man? Fucking deserve a medal for doing me a service?”

            “I dunno, sir…”

            Alfie didn’t let him finish. He brought his cane down on the man’s head, a crack ringing out in the warehouse.

            The rest of the workers were deathly silent. None of them wanted to be next.

            “I don’t fucking like snitches!” He yelled so loudly, Louise was sure he would wake up the unconscious men. “Have we all learned a lesson? Yeah? Because I’ll fucking do this again to anyone who wants a go!” He clenched his fists, his face going red. “Anyone who so much as looks at Miss Barnes the wrong way again, I’ll fucking bash your thick skull in!” His throat strained as his hoarse shouts were almost powerful enough to make his men crumble. “Understood? Then stop fucking looking at me and get back to work!” He barked and turned to limp to his office. He passed Louise and didn’t slow to see her reaction. He had warned her, there wasn’t much else he could do. But he expected the worst.

            She followed him, trotting a few steps to catch up. “Alfie.” She attempted to get his attention.

            He stopped at the doorway and let her in. Pausing for a moment, he put his hat on the coat rack and slammed the door behind them. He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath and went to sit down. His leg hitched and he grimaced in pain before settling down. “Go on, tell me what a fucking evil man I am.” He undid the buttons of his vest and reached for his glasses. He still couldn’t look at her.

            “I didn’t say that.”

            “Were thinking, weren’t you?” It wasn’t a question.

            “I think you need to stop assuming things about me.” She approached the desk. “And to stop putting words in my mouth.”

            Alfie rolled his sleeves up. “I’ve got a meeting.” He muttered.

            Louise made a noise of disbelief. “You just knocked out one of your workers because of me and now you’re going to act as if I’m not here?” She demanded.

            His blue-green eyes briefly met her face. “Weren’t your fault, they were acting like fucking animals, weren’t they?”

            She huffed out a sigh and rested her hands on her hips. “So that was the only reason? You mentioned my name a few times.”

            “Fucking hip hurts.” He ignored her comment. The pain in his hips flared up after the beatings. “Go down the block, will ya? There’s a store that has a salve to help me sciatica, maybe a hot water bottle too.”

            “I'm not going anywhere until you’re honest with me and not swearing every sentence.”

            Not used to being challenged so much, Alfie rested his elbows on his desk and glared at his secretary. “Men who behave in such a way aren’t useful to me. You’re useful to me, I’ve told you that plenty of times. So they disrespect you, they're disrespecting me, yeah?” It was almost painful to keep his vulgar vocabulary off his tongue.

            “You are the most infuriatingly complex man I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to read.” She replied with a frustrated grimace.

            He leaned back in his leather desk chair, his calloused fingers trailing up and down the chain of his glasses. His eyes narrowed, taking in the face she was making at him. “Keep it up sweetheart, I’d love to hear your analysis on a _man like me_.”

            Louise chewed on the inside of her cheek. “What is the salve called?” She asked tensely.

            “No, no, no.” He tutted and stood up to stand in front of her. “You don’t get to skitter off after you started this.” He stopped just inches from her. His feet set firmly apart, his weight shifted to his right to ease off his bad hip. “Go on, love, don’t spare me feelings either.” He goaded with an amused look.

            “Don’t you have a meeting?” She retorted, not backing away from him. But her body was trembling slightly.

            “I’m much more fucking interested in what you think of big bad, Alfie Solomons.”

            “You can only go five sentences without swearing.” She looked up at him. Her chin tilted to show him she wasn’t afraid of him. She’d seen the ugliness that people whispered about. The name of Solomons attributed to broken bones, dead bodies fished out of the river, wealth, and, intimidation.

            He chuckled and passed a hand over his beard. “Clever lass.”

            “You already knew that.”

            “Hm…what else then?”

            Louise studied him like she had earlier during the drive over to the bakery. “You like knowing people are afraid of you.” Her voice came out shakily at first. But his amused look coaxed her on, knowing she wouldn’t face punishment if she were honest. “You take pride in that.”

            “How you figure?”

            “You make yourself look bigger than you really are. I mean Daniel was much taller than you.” She remarked.

            He grunted disapprovingly. Of course, he didn’t mind if she made the observation. It bothered him much more when her husband did. But she wasn’t malicious about it.

            “But your form is very…intimidating.” A slight shock of shiver went down her spine when she inhaled his scent. She didn’t realize how familiar it had become. A woodsy scent mixed with the distillery’s distinct rum smell sticking to him. But there was a hint of deep vanilla too. She wondered if that was Evelyn’s doing, perhaps a scent she used in his home.

            Alfie could see her reaction and it stroked his ego a bit. “What else?”

            “You’re a man of very few words…but you’re not at the same time.” Louise tried to steady her heart. But it felt like a racehorse, ready to jump out of the gates. “I mean sometimes you hardly answer me at all. Other times you go off on this nonsensical rant. I don’t know what to make about that.” She admitted. Her eyes kept jumping around, over his shoulder, the open button on his shirt, his collar, the scar on his jaw, his eyes, and down to the floor.

            But his eyes didn’t leave her. “You think I’m a madman, then?”

            “No…you’re intelligent. Perhaps it’s your temper.” Her fingers touched together to keep her busy from other thoughts.           

            “Hm…me temper.”

            “I think you were in the war.”

            His eyebrow cocked. “Yeah?”

            “You sound like an officer when you yell at your men.” The sharp barks of threats echoed in her ears. A militaristic fashion the way he held himself tall while dishing out verbal abuse. “You’re also comfortable with blood and death.”

            “Anything else?” He didn’t explicitly tell her if he was in the war or not.

            Louise shook her head slightly. “I don’t know what I think anymore, Alfie. Your actions keep changing my mind. I do think you have the best of intentions.”

            That was the only thing that really surprised him. He’d already heard her other observations before. His temper was unhinged, he liked his stance of intimidation, he spoke like a lunatic, and he hadn’t yet abandoned his demeanor as a captain. But best intentions? Lots of people would disagree, most notably her husband.

            “But I think you take the worst execution to achieve those intentions.”

            Her elaborate wording didn’t go over his head. He nodded slowly. “You think so?” His tone was a little softer.

            “Do you think I’m wrong?” Her eyes finally stayed on his for more than a few seconds.

            His broad shoulders shrugged and he scratched at his cheek as if he couldn't be bothered. “Most say I’m ruthless and like to kill for fun.” He replied. His voice became detached.

            “I don’t think you do.” Her hand raised, her slender fingers trembling. “You didn’t kill Daniel for fun.”

            Alfie’s breath caught in his throat as she lightly traced the pads of her index and middle finger down the scar on his cheek. The tender contact was completely foreign to him. London whores could try to feign affection but it was nothing compared to the real thing. The calloused man felt like he was knocked down a few pegs just by her fingers touching him ever so slightly. He didn’t want her to see the internal turmoil and his buckling will. But something filled up the hollow space in his chest. She saw both sides of the coin. She saw the man that people whispered about and she saw the man who was fiercely protective.

            “You killed him because he hurt me.” Her fingers reached the end of his scar near his chin. “You hurt those men because they disrespected me. You hurt men because they threaten you or do you wrong. Maybe some of it’s business or personal vendettas.” She twisted her hand and smoothed her thumb over his cheek, passing over his scar. “But you do what you think is right. You thought that…disposing of Daniel would heal me.”

            Alfie was seconds away from completely melting under her touch and falling to his knees for her. Never had someone make him so vulnerable. It was terrifying. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” His voice was breathy and lost its edge. No one had ever brought that tone out of him.

            “You handle things the way you need to. It’s not my job to interfere.” She withdrew her hand to his dismay. “But I think you’re more than what you’ve done.” She was unaware of the power she held over him in that moment. “You don’t have to close yourself off when you’re with me. I don’t look at you the way other people do.”

            His blue eyes became hard. “Maybe you should.” He muttered.

            “What good would that do?”

            “Keep you safe.”

            “I feel safe. There’s no going back now is there?”

            “’Course there is.” He argued. “You don’t need to be…”

            She shook her head and touched his shoulder to cut him off. “Never mind that.” Her voice was gentle. “You’re late to your meeting now. I’ve kept you too long.” She stepped back and went to get her coat. “The salve’s name?” She asked again.

            Alfie had to restart his brain to answer her. He was completely and utterly a mess after she’d touched him and told him she saw him differently. The self-deprecating side of him kept spitting venom. She was too good for him. He was a monster who didn’t deserve her. He’d get her hurt or even killed. Weak. He was weak over her.

            She went to leave but paused. “What was your rank in the military?” She asked curiously.

            Alfie stepped back and leaned against the edge of his desk. “Captain.” He answered hoarsely.

            She smiled slightly and nodded. “I suppose that makes sense. I’ll return after your meeting, Captain Solomons.” She shut the door leaving him with his harried thoughts.

            Her parting words went straight to his gut, setting him on fire. “Fucking hell.” He groaned and tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. Louise certainly wasn’t everything he assumed her to be and would most likely make him bend to her will even if she didn’t mean to.

 


	7. Chapter 7

            Weeks passed and Alfie’s relationship with Louise became more complex. He figured it would work itself out but it never did. They kept dancing around each other. Louise acted professionally and Alfie mirrored her behavior. But his gaze always lingered. He craved the little touches they shared throughout the day.

            She’d touch his arm during a greeting or parting ways for the night. If she took notes beside him in a meeting, her elbow would frequently brush up against his arm. It drove him absolutely insane.

            He felt an unbearable itch deep inside him. Frustration built up and he needed a release.

 

            Not a patient man, Alfie decided to make a move. Even though as he walked to his office, he felt like a demon going to try and seduce a fair maiden. Muttering a prayer for salvation in Yiddish, then in Russian just in case.

            Louise looked up when the door creaked open. The brutal London summer heat made the office feel like a furnace. She sat behind his desk, organizing his papers even though Alfie could make a mess of it within minutes.

            He stuttered to a halt in the doorway. He was being tested. Surely.

            She was the definition of perfectly undone. Her hair was coming out of the up-do that had been pristine that morning. Stray pieces of rich auburn hair stuck to her forehead. Her face was flushed, red cheeks shining with a bit of sweat from the heat. She’d worn a short-sleeved blouse and gathered her skirt up to the top of her thighs. Concealed under his desk, she tried to cool off a bit with no relief.

            “This has got to be the hottest summer on record.” She complained and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. A dash of ink blotted across her forehead.

            Alfie chuckled and reached in his pocket for a handkerchief. He walked around the desk to hand it to her. “Got ink on ya face, silly girl.”

            “Oh…” She huffed and reached for her compact mirror to see the mark.

            His eyes caught a glance of her skirt pooled up on her lap. He caught a good view of her garter belt running down her thighs, attaching to her sheer stockings. Remembering he was enough of a fucking sinful creature already, he looked away.

            “Alfie, you need to get an electric fan in here.” She protested. “I don’t know why you don’t already have one.”

            “Right, fine.” He nodded. Usually, his secretary got whatever she wanted. It was unheard of in the bakery even if they were simple requests to improve her work experience. But he never argued with her on things like an electric fan or a new typewriter because the last one was so badly damaged. Ollie was incredulous because he frequently asked Alfie to replace the machine but the man refused.

            ‘Does is fucking type words? Yeah? Then it’s fucking fine, quit yer whining.’

            But the first time Louise asked, he made Ollie go out and get a new one that afternoon. Yet no one could tell Alfie he was treating her like a princess. He’d just tell them to fuck off. He _knew_ he was and he didn’t care what other people thought. She deserved it, she’d get it.

            “I’ll get twenty fans if you fucking want.” He muttered as if she was bothering him. He _would_ get her twenty though. A hundred even. Anything to keep her happy. He was a pushover for her. “It’ll feel like the Arctic in here tomorrow.” He nudged her out of his chair.

            She got up; only just noticing her skirt was still hiked up. Going even redder, Louise prayed her boss hadn’t noticed. “This was delivered too.” She reached over him to grab an envelope she’d carefully sorted into a pile. Her silky blouse shifted and blessed Alfie with a whiff of her jasmine scented perfume. She straightened up, setting the thick cream envelope in front of him.

            He opened it, anything to get his muddled mind off of what Louise would look like after a long fuck. Generally inappropriate thoughts a boss could have for his secretary. But after a week of longing like a parched man in a desert, he was desperate.

            His eyes scanned the invitation to some event for some cause. Nothing of interest. He tossed it on the recently neatened desk before turning to face Louise.

            “What was it?” She fixed the hem of her skirt that had caught on the top of her stockings.

            “Nothing, a waste of fucking time. Look, Lou,”

            She’d gotten comfortable with the nickname Alfie had baptized her with. It gave her a sense of belonging much like how he addressed Ollie. But it was deeper. When he said those three little letters, she weakened. Such a dangerous man doting such an affectionate name on her gave her chills.

            After many sleepless nights of reflection, Louise came to term with a few things that had been prodding at her for weeks. She was raised to be a polite, quiet, education, but submissive, wife of a wealthy, respected gentleman from a wealthy, respected family. She would then become the mother to a litter of look-alikes, hopefully, strong and healthy sons. But she’d grown up to dread her fate. The idea of being a piece of furniture in a manor made her sick. So when she was old enough, she sought after excitement, not only from men. She would ride any horse no matter how green it was, she liked driving cars much faster than intended, and she raided the liquor to get wasted with friends out in the pastures. But her sexual freedom was something she followed as well. Losing her virginity at seventeen to the handsome stable hand who broke her heart within a week.

            Then when Daniel came along, she saw even more of a thrill. She assumed his abuse was her punishment for acting up. But Alfie’s presence was calling out to her every night and every day and it wasn’t a punishment, it was a gift. He was exciting, albeit confusing at the start. He was dangerous but Louise was confident he would never lay a finger on her. Perhaps it was naïve because she once assumed the same about Daniel.

            But it was the thrill of standing in the eye of the hurricane. While chaos ensued around her, damage and destruction raging, she was cradled in safety. Alfie was a haven but he was so much more than a stiff, uptight man she was destined to marry. He was outwardly flawed and yet kept his beauty hidden. A true enigma compared to others.

            “Yes?” She asked quietly. His voice was tentative as if he were about to spring something important on her. It made her heart skip.

            But the moment wouldn’t last.

            The door flew open. “Sir…”

            Alfie went from zero to a hundred in milliseconds. His pent up sexual frustration was highly flammable and Ollie unfortunately and unknowingly lit it.

            “Fucking hell, you daft boy, what did I fucking say about knocking?” He demanded. “You think you own this fucking bakery, do you?”

            Ollie winced from the verbal abuse. “Sorry sir, it’s important.”

            “Important, yeah?” Alfie rose, grabbing his cane. “It’s so fucking important that it means you fucking can’t spare a few seconds to knock?”

            “Alfie.” Like a douse of cold water to a hot iron, Louise’s voice made his anger slowly fizzle down.

            It made Ollie grateful for her. It was pretty well known around the distillery that Louise had a strong effect over the boss. And although he would dish out punishments in her presence, he was more likely to second-guess his actions in front of her. Still, it didn’t make his workers any less scared of him. In fact, they usually tried to avoid even looking at Louise after what happened to the young man who made the mistake of testing Alfie’s loyalty for her. They didn’t risk setting their boss off. It was too easy to. If he thought they were even thinking about his precious secretary, he’d set off.

            “What?” Alfie snapped at the young man. “Fucking spit it out then if it’s such a pressing matter.”

            “This came.” Ollie held out a sheet of paper.

            He limped over to him and snatched the note out of his hand. “Fucking git, no fucking manners.” He muttered and read through the handwritten message.

            Louise watched his face turn from anger to deep consideration.

            “Yeah, right, fine.” He cleared his throat and tucked the paper into his pants pocket. “Look, you tell ‘em that’ll be fine.” He pointed at Ollie. “But they’re paying me more than that shit amount. Now fuck off.”

            Louise was lost. “Something wrong?” She sat down on the edge of his desk.

            “No.” He shook his head and went to grab the invitation she’d given to him earlier. “Need to make a trip to Birmingham.”

            “Birmingham? Why?”

            He stood beside her, eyes flicking over the gala details. “Tonight.” He didn’t answer her question.

            “Alfie, if something is wrong, please.” She reached up to touch his shoulder.

            He was in work mode but he still felt torn open, ready to bare his soul to her. Tell her anything she wanted. It was dangerous when his occupation dealt in secrecy.

            “You know you can trust me.”

            He exhaled slowly to keep his composure. “S’nothing to worry about, Lou. He assured her.

            She knew he was lying. He was a good liar in general, but he had trouble with lying to her with his usual ease. How could he when she had given him so much? Lying to her wasn’t business, it was personal.

            “Alfie…”

            “Should be back after the weekend.”

            “A full weekend?”

            “When I get back we’ll go to that event. S’in London.” He flicked the card back onto the table.

            “I thought you weren’t interested in it. You said it was a waste of time.” She was thrown off by his sudden change of attitude.

            “I’ll be nice, yeah? Get a night to have some fun.” He turned away from her.

            “What are you planning?”

            “Nothing, love, nothing t’all.”

 

            Alfie returned from Birmingham in a fairly sour mood. He was in good standings with the Shelbys. Tommy didn’t trust him but after Louise, they seemed to be on even ground. But while in Birmingham, Alfie realized something that sent him reeling.

            He’d revealed enough to let Tommy know that Louise was his weakness. She was the only chink in his armor, but if hit it would be devastating to the gangster. In his line of work, weaknesses were unacceptable especially if they were public knowledge. It had been seen more than a few times. Tommy Shelby’s weakness was his kin, most important, his son.

            Alfie prided himself in not having his own Achilles heel like Tommy did. No wife, no family, no children. Nothing someone could use as leverage against him. No one could take something of his and make him dance like a puppet for them. If anything he was most protective over his business.

            Now he had Louise. And his first night in Birmingham was a startling moment for him. It was the first time he’d been that far away from her. He woke up in a cold sweat after a nightmare. Alfie Solomons rarely had nightmares. If he did, it was about France. And although he indulged in some of his violent tendencies there, he wasn’t immune to the haunting scars that the majority of men left with.

            But this night terror was different. He saw Louise’s hazel eyes. Terrified. She was bleeding but he didn’t see from where. She called out to him but he couldn’t reach her.

            It sent him into such a panic he bolted upright and immediately went for the phone. He rang Ollie’s house until his exhausted and irritated wife answered. Alfie demanded Ollie wake up a group of men to stand guard by Louise’s apartment. He considered calling Louise too but it was well past midnight and she would be asleep. So he sat up trying to get his breath back, slowly rocking with his hands clasped over his mouth. He made a mental list of all the men who would use his adoration for Louise against him. Tommy Shelby didn’t make the list even though he was really the only outsider who knew. The man was cutthroat but he knew what it was like to lose someone he loved. Besides, he seemed to like Louise and wouldn’t involve her in their complicated relationship. But the news could get out and there were more than enough men who had qualms with Alfie. They were twisted enough, angry enough, and greedy enough to easily snatch Louise up off the streets and hold her hostage. It was terrifying because he’d do anything to keep her safe. But it would be a dark day for anyone who even attempted to kidnap her. Alfie was damn sure he wouldn’t sleep until that person, his men, his family, and his future kin paid.

 

            Exhausted from only a few hours of sleep, Alfie dragged himself out of bed when the phone rang. Thinking it was Ollie reporting to him, he answered gruffly.

            “Yeah?”

            “Why are some of your men watching my apartment?”

            It was refreshing to hear her voice after being in such a frenzied panic over her well being all night. Alfie cleared his throat and sat down at the desk where the phone was sat. “How’d you know they’re my men?”

            “Because I recognize them from the bakery. And you’d be more concerned if I told you there were men outside of my apartment.” Louise replied.

            He grunted and ruffled his hair wearily. “S’protection ‘til I get back, yeah?”

            “Protection from what? I’m fine.”

            He sighed and rested his forearms on his knees, hunching forward. “How’s Cyril, how’s he doing?”

            “You can’t avoid my question, Alfie. You know Cyril is okay, I would call you if he wasn’t.” Her voice was firm. “Is something going on?”

            “No, Lou, nothing’s going on.” He stifled a yawn and pushed away recollections of his nightmare.

            Unconvinced, Louise still decided to change the subject. “I’m having Evelyn fix one of the beads on my dress. The thread was a little loose and I didn’t want it to unravel completely. I’ll be wearing it to the gala.”

            Alfie furrowed his brow. “You’ve already worn that one though.” He was absolutely smitten with Louise in that sapphire blue gown, but he was greedy. He wanted to see her in every color. Every hue. “I’ll buy you a new one, yeah?”

            “I doubt anyone will notice if I’ve worn it before. I want to make good use of it.”

            “How ‘bout red? Or gold?” He straightened up a bit, itching to see her again. Birmingham was depressing enough to him.

            Her soft laugh was like an angel’s song. “Honestly, Alfie.”

            “Think red’ll be nice. You go down to that dress store, right, and find something ya like. Make Ollie accompany you.”

            Louise was still concerned about his sudden paranoia over her protection. “I don’t think Ollie wants to go dress shopping with me.”

            “S’got a wife, he don’t care. Be back late Sunday night, yeah? See you Monday, you call me if you need anything else.”

            A sigh traveled over the telephone wires and Alfie’s stomach twisted up in desire. He closed his eyes tightly and scratched his cheek.

            “See you Monday.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally inspired by the Legend scene in the bar. Sometimes a gangster has to take care of some business before wooing his lady.

 

            There was a job to be done and Alfie didn’t take that lightly. But it was nice to daydream about the night. Imagine that Louise was his and his alone. He could spoil her to no end; dressing her up like royalty, adorning her with priceless jewels, sweeping her off her feet and taking her to elite events. To have her on his arm and brag about her intelligence and wit.

            Alfie rubbed the back of his neck, brushing up against the brim of his derby hat. He anxiously waited for Louise on the sidewalk in front of her apartment. She hadn’t told him whether she bought a dress or not. She merely shrugged when he asked if she had luck finding something to wear to the event. A faint smile played at her lips and she turned away from him, avoiding the question.

            Her front door opened and she stepped out to break Alfie’s anticipation when he saw a sweep of red. His jaw clenched and he gripped his cane to the point his knuckles went white.

            Louise stepped down to the sidewalk, walking over to him with a tentative smile. “Too much?”

            “Oh, Lou, those poor men,” Alfie smirked and breathlessly chuckled. “You’ll knock ‘em right off their fucking feet.” He had to lean back a little to take her all in.

            She’d settled on a floor-length red gown with intricate beading on the bodice like her blue one. Two-inch straps and a V-neck accented her form well. Her hair was braided and pinned up tightly. Her lips were painted red as well. She looked like she’d stepped off a movie set.

            “I’m not dressed like this for other men. You’re the one who requested red.” Her flirtatious reply made Alfie dizzy. She touched the lapel of his tuxedo. Her eyes flicked up to his face. Alluring smoky makeup accented her doe-eyes. She looked at him with such fondness.

            He knew he’d have to get himself composed before they arrived at the gala but she wasn’t making it easy. “And I’m fucking glad I did.” He swallowed trying so hard not to stare too long. “Go on, get in.” He opened the car door for her, offering a hand.

            Louise rested her hand in his, gathering the skirt of her dress in her other. Her fingertips grazed over the bands of his rings.

            Alfie was sure he’d never felt something so soft and warm. It was as if he’d been stuck in an isolated, damp, cold room. Louise’s hand setting him on fire and offering a plush escape from his rough world. He only longed to take her into his arms. To let her cradle his head on her chest, her soft hands knotted in his hair, her soothing voice pulling him away from all the evil of the world, including himself.

           

            “Miss Barnes, you’ve come a long way since we met last.” Tommy Shelby smiled when he saw her walking into the reception hall with Alfie.

            “Mr. Shelby, I have a lot to thank you for,” Louise said gratefully.

            “I trust Mr. Solomons is treating you well?” The Blinder’s icy eyes flicked playfully to Alfie. Of course, he could see she was in better shape. The color had returned to her cheeks, her eyes seemed to have found life again, and a content smile adorned her face. It didn’t matter that she was on the arm of one of London’s most dangerous men. In fact, she looked more than happy to be in that position.

            “Fucking hilarious, mate,” Alfie muttered and bent his down slightly to address Louise. “Lou, why don’t ya find a table? I’ll be there in a sec.”

            She nodded and gently squeezed his arm before leaving the men alone. Her red dress disappearing into the crowd of Britain’s most elite and powerful.

            “Is there a reason you brought her along?” Tommy asked and pulled out his silver cigarette case. “Forget that we’re conducting business, eh?”

            “She’s safer with me,” Alfie replied firmly, not swayed by Tommy’s doubt. He had men in practically every inch of the hall. Nothing happened without him knowing. “Didn’t ask for your fucking input, did I?”

            Tommy raised an eyebrow and shook his head. He wasn’t about to test Alfie’s protective nature over his secretary. Word spread from his men that Alfie had broken a few bones over comments about Louise. Billy Kitchen brought up complaints about Alfie’s ruthless nature, but Tommy told him to just keep his head down. There really wasn’t telling what would set off the Jewish gangster but Louise was a given. “Right, Arthur’s got him tied up in the back. I’d offer my opinion but you didn’t ask for my fucking input.”

            Alfie grunted. “Keep him there for a minute. Let me get Louise settled. One of your boys will sit with her while I’m gone.” He pointed the top of his cane at the man. “And if they fucking try anything with her they’re losing their fucking fingers, yeah?”

            “I only employ gentlemen, Alfie,” Tommy replied sarcastically.

            The Jewish gangster narrowed his eyes. “Funny, you gypsies are funny.” He turned and went to find Louise.

            She sat at a small table near the dance floor, her chin propped up on her hand. Her hazel eyes watching couples energetically keeping up with the jazz music. Her foot absent-mindedly tapped against the table leg.

            “Afraid someone was gonna steal ya away from me.” Alfie’s mood lightened up as he stiffly sat.

            She smiled and shook her head. “The only man I want to dance with doesn’t dance.”

            His chest tightened. She was just dangling bait right in front of him, setting it all up for him to just blurt out everything to her. “Yeah? He got two left feet?” His voice came out a little more breathless than he intended. Was he imagining her coy nature?

            “No, a bad hip.” She shrugged and sighed wistfully. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse.” She turned to look back at the band playing lively jazz.

            He punched out a laugh. “Maybe he knows you’re a fucking better dancer than he is. Don’t want a dead weight with ya on the dance floor, yeah?”

            “Hm.” She tilted her head to the side, her eyes meeting him. “I ordered a drink, did you want anything?”

            “Nah, love, don’t touch it.”

            She gave him a puzzled look. “A baker who doesn’t partake in enjoying bread?”

            He smiled slyly and tapped the side of his nose. “Got a good nose for it.” He cleared his throat and stood up, his hip protesting. Duty called. “I’ll be back, yeah?”

            “Where are you running off to, we’ve only just got here?” She protested and reached for his hand.

            “Got to find Tommy, talk about Epsom.” He replied and lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. “Won’t be long.” He turned and saw Michael Gray waiting nearby. “Michael.” He wasn’t too fond of the kid, didn’t like the look of smugness in his eyes. “Have you met my dear secretary? Louise, this is Tommy Shelby’s nephew, he is. I’ll let you two talk, yeah?”

            Michael stepped forward to take Alfie’s seat but the gangster grabbed him by the collar. His lips close to his ear. “I’ve got eyes on you, boy, you fucking look at her the wrong way and your own fucking mum won’t recognize your face. I’ll fucking beat you senseless, right? Yeah? Good lad.” He pushed him away and entered work mode. He’d be a little hesitant to hurt Michael; he did not want to make enemies with Polly. But a good threat would most likely do the trick.

            The gangster parted the crowds as he walked to the back of the hall. Behind a door, the music and talking muffled, a scrawny man was tied up and gagged.

            “Aw fucking hell, this is what you brought me out here for?” Alfie protested.

            Tommy was leaning against the wall, half of a cigarette in his hand. “He’s giving us both trouble, I’ll allow you the honors.”

            “This rat’s been fucking with me business? This little flea? Right here?” He scoffed and jabbed his cane at the man a few times. “Fucking hell, you’ve been a real pain in the arse, mate.” Alfie strode up to the man tied to a metal pole.

            He squirmed anxiously, spitting out incoherent begs with the rag in his mouth.

            “What was that? Couldn’t hear ya.” Alfie crouched down despite the pain in his hip. “Gotta speak up, you’ve got something in your mouth, mate.” He pretended to be concerned. “’Ccording to my associate, you were too easy to find. Little aristocrat, who likes to pay for my protection? Little man, who likes placing bets on horses? S’fucking cute, innit? Never had to work a day in his fucking miserable life. Then, when ya get a little tight on cash, you try to cheat me and Mr. Shelby out of money? Priceless, innit?” He chuckled darkly and stood up straight. “You learn your lesson, eh? Did we scare ya good?”

            The man nodded frantically with tears in his red eyes.

            “Oh, Tommy, look. He’s sorry, innit he? Tommy boy, he’s sorry and he’ll never ever do it again. That right?” He gave an amusing sympathetic face, his lower lip pouting.

            Relief flooded the man’s face when he got the idea that the men would let him go.

            “You can apologize to the devil, mate. I don’t give second chances yeah, to people like you.” Alfie’s voice turned deadly, his face clouding over. “But since you were so kind in apologizing, I’ll give you a little overview of what’s gonna happen in the next oh…say…five minutes. Yeah?”

            The man’s face went back to panic. His throat strained while he attempted to scream for help.

            “I’m gonna shoot you, yeah? Right here.” Alfie jabbed his index finger between the man’s eyes. “Then, our men are going to cut your fingertips off, cut ya into pieces, then burn you. Ain’t no one gonna know what happened. So while I’m out there, having a nice night with a lovely woman, you’ll be paying for your crimes. Yeah? Does that sound like a nice plan? Well organized, innit?”

            The man was sobbing and begging for his life.

            “Alright, Alfie, stop playing with your food.” Tommy flicked his cigarette to the floor, stubbing it out with the heel of his expensive shoes.

            “Tommy, mate, you can’t rush these things.” He reached into his coat. “But I would like to get back to Louise.” He withdrew his pistol and cocked it. “I’d let you say your last words, yeah, but I can’t fucking understand you and I don’t fucking care.” The gunshot was loud but it was easy to explain off such a noise at a lively party.

            Alfie glanced down to make sure no blood got on him. He didn’t want to explain that away to Louise. “Right, can I enjoy the rest of me fucking night?” He asked.

            Tommy nodded. “As you were. Nice doing business with you, Mr. Solomons.”

            “Yeah, yeah.” He pocketed his gun again and headed back to the table.

            Louise spotted him, her eyes lighting up. She thought he was so gorgeous, even if other people couldn’t see past his air of danger. She could see the kindness in his ocean colored eyes. Perhaps it was only there when he looked at her.

            “Sorry, won’t sneak off again.” He promised as he relieved Michael of his duties. He sat back down, resting his cane against the table. “Did I miss anything?” His entire body relaxed in her presence. The murder was already behind him and he didn’t give in another thought.

            “The king came in asking for you personally.” Louise bit her lip, a playful look dancing in her eyes.

            “Is that so?” Alfie laughed softly. “Looking for a royal baker, is he?”

            She giggled and leaned forward. A glass held delicately in her hand.

            “What’s this, eh?” He tutted. “Gin?”

            She rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at me that way.” She accused. “I happen to appreciate fine drinks too.”

            “Yeah? ‘Cause you’re drinking fucking gin.”

            “I like champagne too.” She replied and defiantly downed the rest of the glass’s contents.

            “Mhm.” He ran his fingertips over his beard. “I’m sure your family had a very nice wine cellar.”

            Louise gave him a look and set down the empty glass. “My father didn’t drink.” She informed him.

            Alfie raised an eyebrow. “Usually the wealthy replace their blood with liquor. Something about escaping.”

            She looked down and examined a chip in her nail polish. “He wasn’t like that.” She said quietly.

            He realized he’d pressed into a sensitive matter. Wanting to keep her in good spirits, he changed the subject fast. “Y’know I can’t tell whether I like sapphire or ruby on you better.” He remarked.

            A blush spread over her cheeks and a smile returned to her scarlet painted lips. “So what’s next?” She looked up, holding his gaze.

            He was utterly fucked. “Well…” He cleared his throat and tried to steady his heart pounding against his ribs.

            “Emerald…diamond…topaz…amethyst, what am I missing?” The coy glint in her eyes was unbearable to him.

            “Onyx, pearl, amber.” Alfie rambled off gemstone names as if she were coaxing the sounds out of his mouth.

            She laughed. “Well, you’ll have to try and get invited to every party in London.”

            Alfie was hypnotized by her smile. Her eyes drawing him in and making the party seem a million miles away. As far as he was concerned they were the only two people on the planet. She drew him out of London, pulling him out of the ugly smoke and bringing him somewhere warm with eternal sunshine.

            “Lou…” He uttered her name like a prayer.

            But yet again, the man was interrupted just as he was about to profess his feelings to the only person who ever earned the right.

            “Miss, can I get you another drink?” A young man, one of the waiters, stopped by the table. He smiled at Louise. A little too friendly for Alfie’s taste.

            “No, thank you.” She replied politely.

            “And for you, sir?” The waiter was a little slow to acknowledge Alfie’s presence.

            The gangster narrowed his eyes at him. “No, fuck off.” He replied venomously.

            The waiter was too startled to say anything back. Instead, he merely took Louise’s empty glass and retreated hastily.

            Louise didn’t seem pleased with Alfie’s harsh answer but she didn’t say anything. She was getting used to the man’s bristly manner to those he didn’t know. It was as if he treated every stranger as a possible threat. She just wasn’t sure if he was being defensive or was itching for a fight.

            Even after the little quip from Alfie, the night went along smoothly. Louise didn’t know anything about the murder. She just enjoyed her time with her boss, getting to know the man a bit better. It was the first party Louise had been to where she only talked to one person the entire night. The first time she didn’t feel the need to drink or dance to have a fun time. She was having a good enough time sitting and talking to Alfie. He made her laugh and made her feel like a full person again. He listened to her as no one had before, recalling things she’d told him weeks before. Louise didn’t think anyone ever truly _heard_ what she said. Daniel had even forgotten her birthday sometimes. But hear Alfie was remembering her favorite horse’s name from her childhood. It sparked fireworks in Louise making her feel like the center of his attention, the only thing that mattered, something to be studied and respected. She wanted to talk to him through the night and into next week.

            But eventually, the party died down and the two headed home. Tired, Louise rested against his shoulder on the car ride back to Camden Town. Alfie hid a smile and relished in the touch, the symbol of trust.

 

When they pulled up to her apartment, Alfie nudged Louise gently to rouse her.

            “Ya need me to carry you in, love?” He teased softly as she yawned and raised her head.

            She smiled sleepily. “So you can complain about your hip tomorrow?” She quipped back at him.

He chuckled and offered a hand to her to help her out of the car. He walked her up to the front steps, taking his time so the night would last longer.

            “Alfie,” Louise kept his hand in hers. “I had a lovely time tonight.” A blush spread over her cheeks. “Really, it was fun. I love talking to you.”

            He smiled. “Glad to hear I didn’t talk your fucking ear off too much. You were the highlight of my night though, fuck everyone else.”

            She shook her head. “That’s not very nice.” She giggled softly and reached up to fix a pin in her hair.

            Alfie frowned when he noticed something on the inside of her upper arm. He carefully grabbed her wrist to inspect the faint white scars that he’d never noticed before. Crescent burn marks illuminated by the streetlamps. “Who did this?” He asked with underlying anger in his steady voice.

            Her heart sank and dread filled every inch of her. “Why? Are you going to kill them?” She replied quietly.

            “Not unless I fucking need to, Lou.” He replied trying his best to keep calm in front of her.

            “Well, then I’d be your next victim, Alfie Solomons.” She answered and turned away, pulling from him to unlock her door.

            He blinked as the realization hit him. “Lou,” He followed her inside without being invited in.

            “I’m sorry.” She whispered an apology for the offhand comment. “Alfie, really I am.”

            “Don’t apologize, just talk to me so I can help.” He urged and bent down a bit to catch her eyes.

            “It’s in the past. It’s over.” She made sure her arm was tucked against her side so he couldn’t see the self-inflicted scars.

            Hurt prickled his face. His stomach twisted up. Every time he was reminded of her past heartache it made him feel helpless. He hated being helpless. “Why?” His voice was uncharacteristically small.

            Her hazel eyes teared up. “Because I was numb!” She burst out. The scars she’d carried for so long with the burden of never being able to talk to anyone about them. Everything came bubbling up in her throat. “B-because Daniel owned me, controlled me. This was the only thing I could control.” She gestured to her arm. “I could make myself feel pain. I did that. I could feel something.” Her voice broke as she rambled on. Flashes of the nickel plated lighter with her initials etched in the side. After a moment of severe grief and anxiety, she’d scratched right into the K of her initials. She wanted to scratch it out of her life. Burn everything. Let the pain just diminish into ashes so she didn’t have to feel it anymore.

            Alfie’s eyebrows furrowed. “I ain’t judging you, Lou.” He said to assure her. “Don’t think any less of you.”

            “Yes, you do.” She hiccupped. “I’m damaged goods.” Just like Daniel had told her, Louise felt unloved.

            “No, I don’t.” He touched her hands, asking for permission to hold them. To comfort her.

            She only withdrew further; her head ducked down, retreating back into herself.

            “Lou, I just want to know you wouldn’t do it again. Don’t want you to feel sad like that.” He was still getting used to the role of comforter. It was a narrow walk and he worried that he would say the wrong things and make everything worse.

            “Alfie, when I’m with you-” Her voice caught in her throat. She was so afraid to be vulnerable again. She’d given everything to Daniel only to have him crush her. He shattered every bit of her. Now that she had enough of the pieces back together, she didn’t want to have someone else to repeat the damage. But she needed to take that leap with Alfie. “I’ve never felt so alive. You make me happy.” She whispered tearfully.

            Realization struck his face. The realization that she could possibly hold the same feelings that had been tormenting him for so long. She could look at him the same way.

            She interrupted his thoughts, embracing him tightly.

            Thoroughly touch-deprived, Alfie wrapped his arms around her eagerly. One hand tangled in her curls, the other rested on the middle of her back. He could feel her weep against his body. “Sh, love, s’alright.” He murmured into her hair. “S’okay to cry. I’ve gotcha, yeah?”

            Her fingers curled around his coat and her face pressed to his chest. Her tears dampened his crisp white dress shirt. She closed her eyes tightly and felt his heartbeat against her cheek. It made her knees weaken as everything poured out of her.

            Alfie couldn’t do anything but hold her and tell her it would be okay. He couldn’t kill Daniel again for the damage he’d caused. He couldn’t bring back her parents for reconciling. They were both at the mercy of time and the past.

            After a bit, Louise lifted her head. “You should tell your driver you’re going to stay.” She whispered.

            He raised an eyebrow but didn’t let go of her. “Yeah?”

            She swallowed and nodded. “I need you to stay.”

            “Okay, love, whatever you need.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOS send help, can't stop writing this. Also, I lowkey want to write a Shelby sibling falling for Alfie because I love the Shelbys oh so much but I don't have them as a strong role in this fic. Also, Tommy Shelby finding out Alfie is with his sister? DRAMA.   
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for the great comments, it truly makes my day.

           Alfie informed the driver about the change of plans before returning inside.

            Louise let him in and turned the lock behind him. She suddenly became extremely nervous. It was the first time Alfie had actually been to her flat. And now she felt like she was on the cusp of revealing her feelings if she hadn’t hinted at them enough.

            “Can I get you a cup of tea?” She reverted to the days when she was brought up to be the perfect hostess.

            “No, thank you.” Alfie was at a loss. He felt like he was standing on a ledge with a raging ocean below. Either he turned, walked away from it all, protected Louise and himself, remained the ruthless gangster who was void of feelings. Or he took that leap and confessed everything to her. He couldn’t judge how high the fall was, how deep the water below was, or whether he’d land right on a rock.

            “Alfie…” Louise chewed on her lip. “Perhaps we should talk.”

            “S’late, love.” He tensed up. “Should get you some rest.”

            “But I,” She paused and searched his eyes for any prompts. “I need to tell you a few things-”

            “Nothing that can’t wait ‘til morning.” He shied away from the ledge. His stomach twisted up in nauseating knots.

            “Actually I don’t think it can, I’ve been wanting-”           

            “S’bit drafty in here, yeah, want someone to look at the windows?”

            “Would you stop inter-”

            “Could be the vents.”

            “Alfie, I think I love you.” Louise blurted out.

            The two stared at each other in stunned silence as the words stuck in the air, hovering between them. The clock ticked on and a few drunk men hollered down the street outside.

            Alfie fought every urge to blindly profess his love back to her. Even if it felt right, maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do. He never got cold feet about killing a man, never questioned the morality of his actions. But this was majorly different. How could he subject Louise to his life, his sins? Was his greed finally catching up to him?

            “Say something, please.” She begged in a broken whisper. Her hands wrung together anxiously.

            He took a shaky breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I am truly the wrong fucking man to love.” He spoke slowly as n to give away his internal struggle.

            “Well, I can’t help it now, can I?” Honestly, she had been expecting a different response. Maybe she was being naïve. “That’s how I feel.”

            “I killed your fucking husband, Louise!” He exclaimed. Perhaps a stern reminder of his murderous tendencies would push her away. She’d seen a weaker side of him but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t the fierce man the rest of the world saw.

            Her mouth popped open in disbelief. “I said I forgave you!” She retorted, her voice rising in pitch.

            “I’m not some fucking saint.”

            “I never wanted you to be.”

            “I’ll ruin your life.”

            She jabbed a finger at him. “Don’t, don’t do this. Not after everything you’ve done for me!” She accused. Her hazel eyes overflowing with confusion. “Alfie, I told you how happy you make me.”

            The man ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve…”

            “Stop. Listen to me.” She demanded and stepped closer to him. “Look at me.”

            Alfie felt like he was two feet smaller. He couldn’t even raise his head to look at her. He was crushing her and in turn, was harming himself. But he couldn’t shake off the nightmares he’d had about her. If she was his, she would be in constant danger.

            “Look at me.” She touched his cheek and lifted his chin. “Alfie, please.”

            With a heavy sigh, his blue eyes finally met her gaze.

            “I don’t care what other people think of you. I know the real you. I know you care about me. You can’t tell me otherwise. Now if you don’t want me then, fine, but you have to look me in the eye and tell me.”

            She knew exactly what she was doing. He never would be able to gaze at those hazel eyes and lie about his love for her. He inhaled shakily and reached up to touch the hand pressed to his hand.

            “I love you.” She uttered again, her voice vulnerable and quivering.

            He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “I love you.” He whispered. The three words that had been tormenting him for so long finally slipped out. The words he never thought he’d speak to someone ever again. The inherent weakness that came along with them meant he was handing his soul over to her.

            He heard the hitch in her breath as he admitted it to her. She looped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. She nuzzled his cheek and pressed herself into him, fitting an empty mold that had previously been uninhabited. But she fit perfectly.

            “I love you.” He tested out the words again. They came out a little stronger but he was still reeling. “Fucking hell, I’m shaking in me boots.” He laughed weakly.

            “It’s okay.” She murmured and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

            He buried his face in her pinned curls, the scent of her jasmine perfume comforting his senses. His arms pressed against her back, keeping her close. The feeling of her lips over his cheekbone made him want to melt to a puddle on the floor. He closed his eyes tightly and took a few trembling breaths. It was a new high, something he hadn’t felt before. It wasn’t the adrenaline after killing a man with his bare hands. It wasn’t the endorphin rush of fucking an expensive French whore. It wasn’t the pleasurable fear of storming into battle. It was electrifying but warm. Although he was terrified, he welcomed the sensation into his bloodstream.

 

            The next morning, Louise woke up with Alfie in her bed. After holding each other in the front hall for a long while, they decided to finally finish off the lovely night. They retreated to Louise’s room even though Alfie offered to make use of the spare bedroom.

            She merely took his hand and brought him into her room. The Monet hanging to the left of her bed, a warm reminder of Alfie whenever Louise woke up.

            Now she had something better.

            Alfie tenderly undid the laces of her dress and gave her some privacy as she dressed for bed. He stripped to his boxers while she was in the bathroom changing. He got into her bed, getting a skip in his heartbeat. Louise’s scent enveloped him like a warm spring day. It was intoxicating.

            Then she returned in a nightgown and he had to remind himself that he didn’t drink anymore so this wasn’t an alcoholic haze. He wasn’t imagining her walking over and getting under the covers beside him. It was real. She curled up close to him, fast asleep within moments. Her cheek against his bare shoulder.

            He couldn’t sleep even though it was late. He stared up at the ceiling, glancing down at Louise every so often to make sure she was still there. Her warm breath passed over his skin, her arm reaching across his chest, resting on the pillow beside his head.

            Her curls spilled out around her, the makeup wiped from her face, her skin soft with oils put on earlier that night.

            This was the woman that loved him. The woman he loved.

            He was in such a state of shock that the usual, sinful thoughts didn’t even come to mind. Even though her sleeping form was pressed up against him, only a thin bit of cotton between their skin. But he figured in due time he’d indulge those wicked desires. He just had to come to terms that everything was aired out.

 

            Alfie managed to get a few hours in before the sun rose and the birds started to sing loudly outside Louise’s window.

            “Fucking hell, those nasty…” He grimaced and flopped a pillow over his ears.

            Louise laughed softly. She was just waking up too. Stretching her toes and smiling, she rolled over to face him. “They’re just birds. Don’t you think their songs are beautiful?” She nudged the pillow away from his face.

            His brain blew like a light bulb. Seeing her in the light of day, inches from him in bed made him fucking lose it. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He groaned.

            She smiled shyly and rested her head on the pillows, meeting his gaze. The light that snuck in through the curtains struck her hair, making it blaze. The red usually hidden in her curls burned like a kiln. The sun also brought out the flecks of amber in her eyes, her pupils reacting to the light. Being close to her meant he could see the faint freckles dusted over her nose and cheeks. Usually, her makeup did a good job covering them up, but Alfie thought they were beautiful.

            He reached up and pushed a stray curl from her forehead. The silky hair bouncing back in place. “Yeah, you’re more beautiful than bird song.” He decided quietly, not able to tear his eyes from her.

            “Hm…” She yawned and blinked a few times to shake the sleep away. “I don’t think so.”

            “Birds are just fucking rats with wings, aren’t they?” He replied. “Nasty creatures.”

            Louise smiled and touched his cheek. “They can fly.”

            “Yeah, so can we. We’ve got airplanes, love.” He grinned.

            “You were a captain during the war, did you fly a plane?” She asked tracing her finger over the scar on his cheek. Moving up and down the sensitive skin, brushing over the wiry hairs of his beard.

            “Nah, would rather stay on the ground.” He let her examine the mark as she had before in his office.    

            “Where did you fight?” Louise could remember the wrinkles in her father’s face when the war was discussed at parties. She read the newspaper after he abandoned it in his office. But the year it began, she met Daniel and married him. Often, Daniel scolded her when she tried to talk about it. He didn’t think it was something for a woman to discuss. She argued that women were out working as nurses saving soldiers but he shut her down quickly.

            When the war ended, men came home in such a state of disrepair. They had left as young men but came back as shattered souls. She wondered if that’s what happened to Alfie.

            “Somme, northern France.” He answered.

            “Were you hurt?”

            He let out a humorless chuckle. “Don’t think anyone came out without getting hurt.” He replied. “That one right there, that was a fucking bloody one.” He referred to the scar on his face.

            Louise smoothed her thumb over his jaw. “What happened?” She asked with morbid curiosity.

            “Fucking Italian.” His eyes darkened for a moment. “He got it much worse though.” To spare Louise the graphic details, he left it at that.

            “Italy was an ally of ours.” Her brows furrowed.

            He grunted. “Yeah, they also think ill of my people, don’t they?”

            Louise rested against his shoulder. Her eyes fixed on him. She wasn’t sure what to say; she didn’t know oppression like he did.

            He huffed. “Well, done and done, innit? Now we’re stuck in London, eh?” He kissed her forehead, his mustache tickling her skin.

            “Stuck? You don’t like being here?” She asked. A blush spread over her cheeks.

            “Nah, fucking clogged up with smoke, innit? Rather be in some clean air.” He mumbled and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close. Once he became accustomed to having her near, he knew that he would take every waking moment touching her in some way or another. He could never get enough of the way she felt beside him.

            “Will you leave London?”

            “Not without you, I won’t.” He answered honestly.

            She smiled and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. “Good, I wouldn’t let you.”

            He laughed. He was happy. She made him happy.

 

            Since it was Monday, they couldn’t stay in bed forever. Alfie pulled on the pants and dress shirt he wore the night before, planning to stop at his apartment before going to the bakery.

            He rapped on the bathroom door as Louise was getting dressed for the day. “Lou, m’going to go change and head to work. Can I meet you there?” He asked.

            “Wait!” She hurried to open the door. She was still in a state of undress, her shirt untucked and only halfway buttoned.

            Alfie swallowed hard when he could see the white lace of her bra beneath the blouse.

            “You still haven’t even kissed me.” She said. Her cheeks were warm and pink as she looked expectantly at him.

            “Well, fucking hell, how on Earth did I forget?” He grinned playfully, bracing a hand against the doorjamb to meet her eyes better. “I swear, must be the fumes in the bakery, yeah, muddles the brain…”  

            Louise just grabbed him by the collar, connecting her lips to his. He cupped her cheeks in his hands, melting gratefully into the kiss. She felt so soft and giving under him. But she made him feel less like the brute others saw. She blessed him with the elegant air, making them move as one entity. It didn’t matter where they came from anymore, they merely met in the middle.


	10. Chapter 10

            The bakery was a war zone, had been for the whole week and it was finally Friday. Some men were genuinely afraid they wouldn’t make it to the weekend.

            Despite his new relationship, Alfie was in a terrible mood. He couldn’t spend enough quality time with Louise anyway. He’d work through the middle of the night, much too late to drop by her apartment.

            Sabini had been giving him trouble and the two had fallen out yet again. He was harassing Alfie’s bookies and the two got into a heated argument over the matter. Racial slurs were tossed about and it ended with Ollie stopping his boss from whipping out a gun.

            Now everyone was a target. Even Louise was given grunts or clipped one-word answers. It didn’t bother her so much as she knew the anger wasn’t directed at her. But it did bother her that he was distressed.

            Finally, one hot afternoon, she had to intervene.

 

            “Fucking hell…Lou? Louise!”

            She looked up from her desk situated right outside Alfie’s office door. She stood and went in.

            Alfie was sat in his leather chair, one hand braced against the desk, and the other grasped his cane tightly. A disgruntled look of pain etched into his face, his forehead wrinkling and brow furrowed.

            “Help me up.” He said curtly.

            Louise didn’t think it was wise to remind him of his manners. “Is it your hip?” She walked over to him. Cyril followed her, concerned about his master.

            Alfie’s hip wasn’t reacting well to the stress. His lip was more prominent which made him more upset because he despised appearing weak. He only confided in Louise or Ollie about the pain. Louise wanted to tell him it was because he was either sat at his desk working endless hours or beating up anyone who got on his bad side. But saying that would only make him more upset. Stubbornness couldn’t be cured by reason.

            “’Course it’s me fucking hip.” He replied gruffly.

            “What do you need? I can get it for you.” She offered.

            “I can get it, just help me up.”

            “Alfie, you’re in pain. You should take it easy, I’ll-”

            “I can fucking handle it!” He set off, slapping his palm on the desktop. Louise startled and Cyril whimpered, tucking his tail between his legs and cowering away.

            Alfie groaned and slumped back in the chair. “M’sorry.” He ran a hand over his weary face. “Just don’t wanna be some useless git who can’t get around his own fucking office.”

            “You’re been under too much stress.” She knelt down and rested her hands on his knees. “Maybe you should take a break.”

            “No rest for the wicked, love.” He set his cane aside and tucked a finger under her chin.

            “The bakery will be fine without you for a few days. You know Ollie can handle it.” She urged softly. “You need to trust that.”

            “Can’t, Lou, there’s too much going on right now.” He grimaced. What he wouldn’t do to just snap Sabini’s spine.

            “You need to get out of London.” She continued to persist. “You need clean air for a change. That’ll help your hip.” Her thumbs rubbed circles over his knees. “We won’t go far and they’ll be a phone so you can always check in with Ollie. You and I can spend time together.” It was an unfair tactic to convince him, baiting him with alone time, but it worked.

            “Margate.”

            “Hm?”

            “Margate, s’on the water. ‘Bout a few hours drive.”

            Louise smiled. “Should I go call for a rental cottage? Something by the beach?”

            He coaxed her up off her knees. “Fucking perfect you are.” He murmured before kissing her. Already some of the stress began to trickle off his shoulders.

 

            “Oi! Put that down, you mutt!” Alfie shouted to Cyril who had gathered a large amount of kelp in his mouth. The bullmastiff romped around, the salty mess sticking to his face.

            Louise and Alfie made the getaway to Margate. Ollie was stunned that she’d convinced the boss to stop working for a few days. But he didn’t question it. They planned to stay for the weekend in a little cottage. It was just the two of them and Cyril. They arrived early Friday evening and headed down to the beach after putting their things away in the cottage.

 

            “Right, you’ll fucking get sick, not a problem of mine.”

            Louise laughed softly. “Let him have his fun.” They watched the large dog lope about the empty beach. His big paws leaving prints in the wet sand. He seemed pleased to be in the wide-open space with brand new smells.

            They were all happy to be there.

            Louise wrapped an arm around Alfie’s and pressed close to his side. They stood in the dunes overlooking the gray ocean. The sun was setting and it was a little chilly by the water. London’s brutal heat seemed like a lifetime away.

            “I want to die here,” Alfie said, punching his cane into the sand with emphasis. “Told myself, I wouldn’t die in France and I didn’t. Won’t fucking die in London either, it’ll be here.”

            Louise believed a man like Alfie could pick the location of his death. But the conversation still made her uneasy at the idea. She didn’t want to think about him dying.

            “No, no, ah you fucking git!” Alfie groaned as Cyril chased a seagull right into the waves. The dog splashed around joyfully, never having the chance to swim before. “He’ll smell fucking awful now.” He grimaced. “He innit sleeping in our room.”

            Louise smiled and squeezed his arm. “I think he’s happy.” She could see the glint of amusement in Alfie’s eyes even if he didn’t want to let it out.

            “Right, c’mon you mutt.” His arm slipped from hers and he limped further down the beach. “Cyril! Get over here, don’t know if you even can fucking swim.”

            She couldn’t help but laugh as Cyril charged out of the water towards him. The soaking wet dog shook off the saltwater right next to Alfie. The man groaned and rolled his eyes. Cyril galloped up the dunes to Louise, panting and wagging his tail.

            “Easy, easy!” Louise giggled and tried not to let him get her wet too. She knelt down and picked a few bits of seaweed off of his coat.

            Alfie returned with a damp shirt from the dog’s frenzied shake.

            “Why here?” She looked up from Cyril.

            “Eh?”

            “You said you wanted to die here.” She reminded him of their conversation moments before.

            He nodded and grunted as he lowered himself to sit on the sand. “S’fucking beautiful, innit? Want to die somewhere beautiful, wouldn't you?”

            Louise sat beside him, tucking her feet to the side and taking one of his hands between both of hers. “It’s got to be more than that.”

            “Mhm, maybe.”

            Getting Alfie to talk about his past was a careful task. It was like coaxing a beaten animal into an embrace. It took time and unbelievable patience.

            “Did you come here when you were younger?” She surmised this was the case. She would always have a special niche in her heart for her childhood places.

            He swallowed and looked out to the ocean. “Few times.” He finally admitted. “My mum took me here probably four, five times.” There was a clear softness in his voice when the woman came to mind.

            “You haven’t told me about her.” Louise ran her thumb over his knuckles, gently pressing into the ridges of his calloused hand.

            “She was from Russia.” He cleared his throat. The subject of his mother rarely came up simply because he didn’t have anyone to talk to about her. Someone he could trust with the sensitive information. He only had three pictures of her and he prayed she would keep visiting his dreams. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, it brought him immense heartache when he woke and realized she was gone. But he wanted to keep the memory of her alive, the mental image he had which was far better than the grainy black and white photographs.

            “She was Jewish?” Louise wanted Alfie to know she was responsive and sympathetic. She wanted him to feel safe as he let her sneak a peek into his fiercely guarded heart.

            He nodded, his blue eyes still fixed on the horizon. “Were the reason she had to leave. They chased my whole family down. Slaughtering ‘em like they were animals. They got everyone ‘cept my mum, aunt, and father. Didn’t know my aunt, she didn’t make it to London. Was young when my dad died,

‘round six. My mum had my brother when I was four.”

            “You have a brother?”

            “Had a brother.” He nodded solemnly. “Lost him to the war. Wife was devastated, couldn’t handle my nephew so I took him in and put him to work.”

            Her eyes lit up in surprise. “You raised a child? You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

            He chuckled and shook his head. “Not particularly. He was a teenager by that time, just lived with me for a bit 'til he went out on his own. Fucking terror that thing is, a boxer too.”

            “Runs in the family, then?”

            “Well, when you’ve faced opposition your whole life, you’re raised to fight everything and anything.” He rested back on his elbows, not bothered by the sand.

            Louise’s chest tightened. She felt guilty that both her parents had raised her. Her family had never experienced tragedy like Alfie’s had. They’d been blessed and yet she rebelled and could never reconcile with her parents.

            He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Hell of a woman, me mum, did whatever it took to survive. Real small, outgrew her when I were fifteen at least. But she could pack a fucking wallop when she found out I got in trouble.” He chuckled. He could recall his tiny mother shouting at him in Russian when the police knocked on her door. Petty theft and harassing cops frequently got Alfie in trouble. His mother tried to set him on the right path but they were stuck in an immigrant, low-income community. The lure of crime was too great for a short-tempered teen like Alfie. His brother on the other hand usually kept in line.

            “Is that where you get your strength from, then?” Louise giggled softly.

            “Maybe.” He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Never stopped loving me though, no matter what I did. Called me her _myshka_.”

            “What does that mean?” She rested her chin on his shoulder and smiled warmly.

            “Erm…little mouse.” He admitted and his face went a little red. “Guess I was fucking small when I was born.”

            “Cute.” She cooed and squeezed his arm.

            He held up a hand. “No one else can know that, yeah?” He warned sheepishly. “Can’t have those fucking Shelbys using it to their advantage.

            “I promise.” The smile faded though. “What happened to your mother?”      

            Hard lines formed on his face. “She died when I was in Somme.” He explained quietly. “Heart attack.”

            “Oh, Alfie, I’m sorry.” She touched his cheek.

            “Would’ve loved you though.” He finally looked over at Louise, not lingering on her sympathy. “Granted, you’re not Jewish but she was fucking desperate. Wanted me married with children ‘fore I was twenty-one.” He sighed and shook his head. “But, ‘course, she would like you for you. You even me out, yeah, keep me balanced.” His eyes gazed fondly at her. “Took me quite enough time to find you, ain’t wasting it.”

            Louise smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. “We don’t have to waste any time.”

            His heart skipped a beat and he nuzzled her cheek. She giggled softly as his beard tickled her. Her face scrunched up and she arched away from him.

            “C’mon, you two.” Alfie heaved himself up and offered a hand to her. “Getting fucking cold, innit?”

            Louise had barely even noticed the sun had almost fully dipped below the horizon. She was too fixated on Alfie. The sky had darkened into a royal violet color. Bright stars began to appear and blink dimly. The wind had begun to pick up and goosebumps pricked her arms.

            She took his hand to stand up, brushing sand off her skirt. She linked arms with Alfie and they walked up the path to the rental cottage. Cyril trotted after them, panting happily.

            “Gonna rinse the sand off him ‘fore he goes in,” Alfie said as they returned to the stone walkway. The cottage was overgrown with roses and ivy. It was fairly isolated along the coast of Margate; the nearest neighbor was about a five-minute walk down the dirt road. It was heavenly. The air was still and the peaceful sounds of crickets and the nearby ocean surf were like a lullaby.

            Louise stood near the front door as Alfie led Cyril over to the water pump by the side of the cottage. She smiled slightly to herself as she felt the breeze kissed her face and the scent of sea salt tickled her nose. London’s smoke was just a wisp of a memory. She knew it would be extremely difficult to leave.

            “As clean as he’s ever gonna get.” Alfie returned with Cyril. The bullmastiff happily greeted Louise again with a press of his cold nose to her hand. She stroked his head lovingly as Alfie unlocked the door and let them in.

           

            After a small dinner, Alfie helped Louise clean up the kitchen. It was something she had never experienced before. Daniel always disappeared once he was finished eating. It was surprising but she just smiled and thanked him afterward. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it like he was a child.

            It was domestic though, and Louise realized she liked it. Often times, as a married woman, she would dread to return home after work. She resented Daniel’s lack of appreciation for all she did. But she could easily imagine how wonderful it would be to return home with Alfie. Have dinner with him each night, read in the parlor together, and then head to bed. It was simple but meant so much.

 

            “You tired?”

            Deep in her thoughts, Louise almost didn’t realize what he asked. “Oh, a bit.” She shrugged.

            “Should call Ollie to check in. You can head to bed though, don’t need to stay up for me.” His ocean-colored eyes were tender on her.

            She nodded but decided to alter the plan a little. When Alfie retreated to the small sunroom to call Ollie, she shut the bedroom door. It wasn’t like Louise was planning to be devious that trip. But she was looking to relieve Alfie’s stress. And she could recall the wise words of an old friend who knew her way around a man’s body.

            _“If a man’s stressed and angry it simply means he hasn’t had a good fuck.”_

            It’d been some time since Louise indulged in the sexual desires she had as a rebellious young woman. She’d lost that sense of freedom when she was married. But Alfie awoke that side of her. And the holiday to a secluded cottage seemed like the best time to act. It was soon, very soon, into their relationship. But he was no usual suitor and Louise was a little too drunk on the idea of him.

 

            Louise stepped out of the bedroom, her bare feet padding against the cool wood floor. With a mix of excitement and apprehension bubbling in her stomach, she went to find Alfie.

            His back was to her, sitting at a small desk by the glass of the sunroom’s walls. He spoke steadily with the phone in hand.

            Louise came up behind him and looped her arms around him. He startled a bit but a hint of a smile formed when he sensed her against him. He continued speaking to Ollie, discussing any movements from Sabini.

            A bit impatient, she started to trail kisses down his jawline and to his neck. Her fingers fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

            His voice hitched and he lost his train of thought. His chest tightened and he groaned quietly.

            “Sir?” Ollie’s confused voice came from the other line.

            “Call you tomorrow.” Alfie quickly hung up and stood. “Trying to seduce me while I’m on the phone?” He chuckled, his eyes glinting with mischief as he took in her appearance. “Look at you, fucking tease, ain’t ya?”

            Louise batted her eyelashes innocently. “Well, my boss gave me a raise, so I could go out and buy some nice things.” She spun around teasingly to show off the blush pink nightgown.

            “Aw, that’s sweet, innit? You bought a present for me?” He smirked and grabbed her hips to pull her close. “Like red on you better though.” His voice was husky as his fingers trailed down her thigh. His hand fisted around the silky fabric of the nightgown.

            “Well, I liked the pink.” She tilted her chin up to just barely graze her lips over his. “Doesn’t matter what color it is, you’re going to take it off anyway.”

            Alfie’s pupils blew and he stifled a moan. “Where’d you learn to talk like that, posh girl?” He growled playfully.

            “I don’t kiss and tell.” Her fingers knotted in his hair.

            He chuckled breathlessly. “Fucking hell. Gotta say though, my religion don’t really take kindly to sex ‘fore marriage.” His voice was coy while she pressed against him.

            “I think you’ve broken more than a few rules, Alfie.”

            “Well, fuck, you’ve got me there.” He grinned and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

            Louise squealed softly at the sudden movement and kissed him deeply. Her feet locked together behind him as he walked to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's sudden to have them sleep together. BUT I have my reasons which I will shed light on in later conflict. But I'm hesitant to write an explicit scene because I'm not too experienced with it and yet I really want to explore that part of their relationship. So I might make it not so graphic but more emotion-oriented if that makes any sense. Let me know what you all think.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfie Solomons behind closed doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'll just toss this out here. I am not trained in the art of writing sex scenes but I try my best. I think it's cringy at best. But I'm open to feedback as always because it helps me improve! Thanks for reading!

 

            Louise wasn’t ashamed to admit she’d wondered about what Alfie was like behind closed doors. Part of his nature was intimidating but she’d been blessed to know his soft side. Both had a measure of intimacy and she wondered which was dominant.

            Alfie shut the door behind him and broke the kiss to set her down on the bed. He shrugged off his waistcoat, his eyes glued to her. “You don’t hafta do anything you don’t want, love.” He prefaced.

            “You’d have to tie me up to stop me.” She retorted just to rile him up more. There wasn’t much doubt about her decision. It was hard to ignore the allure. The rush of telling him she loved him was just a step. She wanted to physically express love to him.

            He chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve got a lot behind those innocent doe-eyes, don’t ya?” He accused.

            “Most girls like me like to rebel.” She informed him coyly. “Not all of us are blushing virgins.”

            “Mhm…can see that now. You’re still soft though.” He murmured and knelt at the foot of the bed. His calloused hands grazed over her bare shins, dipping under to touch her calves. “Can’t say m’not jealous that some other bloke had you ‘fore me.”

            “Are you jealous?” Louise propped herself up on her elbows to watch him.

            He grunted and grabbed her ankles to tug her closer. She sat up in front of him, being pliable to his will. “Maybe.” He admitted gruffly. His eyes met hers. “But m’gonna ruin all other men for you.” He gave her a devious smile. “Won’t ever have someone who can love you like I can.”

            His confidence shot electric anticipation right to her toes. “Is that so?” She wrapped her arms around him. “What if I don’t want any other man?”

            “Then you’ve come to the right fucking place, haven’t you?” He grinned and leaned forward to kiss her.

            It was as if Alfie’s romantic side was his true center, even if it had been neglected for the majority of his life. He stood perfectly evenly on the line of compassion and the need for power. His lips moved around hers softer than anyone else’s but he commanded the kiss. Louise wasn’t arguing she had a feeling he knew exactly what she needed. And if she needed to tell him, he’d listen. He craved power and the control over her pleasure was something intoxicating to him.

            Louise drew away, pressing her forehead to his. “You won’t want another woman after tonight.” She told him. Her voice was teasing but there was a root of serious intention. She wanted Alfie all to herself and she prayed he wasn’t like other men or even other women. The modern lover who thought it fun to hop from bed to bed. Too self-consumed to care about deep feelings.

            He exhaled sharply and reached up to run his fingers through her soft curls. He realized he had never exactly ‘made love’. Sure he’d fucked his way through France and London, what sinful bachelor didn’t? But never had he gone to bed with a woman he loved. He couldn’t even imagine doing anything else from that point on. Louise was sacred and to unravel her was a gift from heaven. The idea that he would have the potential to do that more than once in his lifetime was indescribable. “Won’t even think ‘bout another woman. You’re the only one on my mind from now on, yeah?”

            Her heart raced giddily. “I’m yours then.”

            That was enough to stroke Alfie’s ego and get him kicked into high gear. He rocked back on his heels. “Go ahead, love, take that little thing off for me. Want to see all of ya.”

            He didn’t need to tell her twice. Louise scooted back on the bed, lifting up to her knees. She held his lustful gaze as she slipped the nightgown over her head and tossed it to him.

            “Fucking hell…” Alfie drawled out and rose to his feet. He couldn’t take his eyes off her bare body. He ran a hand over his mouth and swallowed hard.

            Louise sheepishly sat back on her heels, not sure what he was thinking. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you speechless, Alfie.”

            He laughed absent-mindedly and held out a hand to her. “Fucking seen beautiful things ‘fore.” Louise took his hand and stood up on the bed. He took her hips in his hands, holding her steady on the mattress. “Jewels, works of art, stacks 'n stacks of money,” He shook his head, his blue eyes scanning over every inch of her. “But you…” He subconsciously swiped his tongue over his lower lip. “Fucking gorgeous.” His usual verbose manner of speaking was lost.

            “So you’re just going to stare at me all night?” She murmured and brushed her fingers through his hair, tugging lightly.

            “Oh, Lou,” He chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve no fucking idea.” His fingers dug into her hips and desire bloomed in his eyes. “Lay down.”

            Louise lay back on the bed after he let go of her hips. “Is it my turn to see you, then?” She asked hopefully when she saw him slip his suspenders off his shoulders.

            “Not quite, gotta take care of you first, yeah?” He got up on the bed and dipped down to pepper kisses down her neck. He rested on his forearms so he didn’t put too much pressure on her. Louise wanted to feel all of him against her but decided to get used to the intimate relationship first.

            He left bruising marks on her neck, eliciting soft gasps of need from her lips. After placing at least four darkening marks on her throat and collarbone, he pulled away to admire his work. His thumb gently smoothed over the skin making her whimper.

            “Gotta make sure the world knows you’re mine.” He murmured possessively.           

            It made Louise melt into the mattress. “Alfie…”

            His jaw clenched. He needed to hear his name slipping off her tongue. It was making him drunk and he wouldn’t stop until the letters were etched permanently into her soul. “I’ve gotcha, love.” He purred and lowered his focus to her chest, toying with her breasts. Every reaction he got out of her was like a shot of adrenaline straight into his heart. The way she squirmed under him, begging softly for more, speaking his name like he was a deity to be praised. It was only a wonder how far he could push her, what type of reaction he could draw out from the deepest part of her. It made him unbearably greedy.

            He dipped lower, laving his tongue over the dips in her abdomen and hips, his beard tickling over her soft skin. Louise’s face burned as he passed over her hips and buried his face between her thighs. Never before had a man taken his time with her. Her past flings had always used her for their own pleasure. And although she got flashes of thrill from the experience, it was nothing like being under Alfie. She wasn’t sure how he knew exactly what to do to get her right to the edge. He was confident with the attention he gave her body.

            So confident, that it wasn’t long before he made Louise into a quivering mess. Her fingers knotted into his hair and he had to press an arm over her hips to keep her from bucking. Her head threw back in the pillow, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. He only let up for a second, earning a whine of disapproval.

            “Look at me.” He commanded in a deep voice. “I want your eyes on me.”

            Her entire body trembled as he held her gaze. Her breathing became labored and her knees kept turning in, too overwhelmed. Alfie didn’t even want to blink and miss a millisecond. They were both utterly mesmerized by each other.

            Then it happened. Like a divine miracle, Louise came undone. Her body locked up and she gasped out his name. “Alfie!”

            He groaned and raised himself back up. He kissed ravenously at her neck while she came down from her high. "Gorgeous...look at you." 

            She moaned softly as he nipped at her collarbone, her arms lazily wrapped around him. “All that and you’ve barely even taken your socks off.” She laughed breathily.

            He chuckled against her skin. “Had to warm you up, didn’t I?” He lovingly pushed away a few curls that had stuck to her flushed face.

            “I think I’m well past that.” She touched his cheek. They fell into a hushed moment. Her eyes drawing him in and making his chest hurt with the amount of adoration he had for her. “Alfie,” The words came out in a longing whisper. “Please take me.”

            The man pushed up and stood to hurriedly undress. A strange sensation settled in his stomach. Carnal desires bubbled inside of him, wanting to just bend Louise over and fuck her senseless. But it didn’t feel right; it wasn’t what she deserved at least not their first time together.

            “Alfie?”

            “Hm?” He glanced up at her as he stepped out of his pants.

            “How do you want me?” She had sat up, tucking her knees against her bare chest. Her eyes grazed over his form while she chewed at her lower lip. It was a strange question, to say the least. She half expected Alfie to tell her but he hadn’t. She could recall times spent with Daniel, nights where he barely even looked at her. It was as if he were pretending she was someone else.

            “Uh…” He walked back over to the bed, rubbing the back of his neck. “On your back, yeah, want to see that face of yours.” He tugged off his boxers and climbed back over her. It was likely he didn’t realize how much that meant to Louise. She smiled and pulled him into a kiss. One hand braced against the bed, the other aligning himself with her. Her hands clutched at his back as he slowly pressed into her.

            “Okay?” He asked quietly against her lips.

            She nodded. “Yes…Alfie, please…”

            “Talk to me, Lou, tell me what you need.” He growled as they adjusted to one another. "Can't give it to you until you tell me." 

            “Need you, please Alfie, please.”

            Begging, he had her begging. If Alfred Solomons wasn’t cocky enough already, he could never come back after that night. “Can’t hear you, love, yeah gotta speak up.” He toyed.

            “Alfie, c’mon, please don't tease me.” She looked positively desperate under him. Her big brown eyes yearning. “Alfie-” She cried out when he thrust forward without warning. “Fuck!”

            He smirked deviously. The word never sounded so sinful before and it unlocked more to her. “Fucking hell, woman, you’re going to be the death of me. Won’t be able to get enough of you.”

            “Just wait.” She panted, moaning against his shoulder. “By the end of every week-oh, God-you’ll be-fuck-begging for a break from me.”

            Surely Alfie didn’t deserve to enter heaven on Earth, but it appeared it was already through the gates. “I fucking love you, Lou.” He crushed his lips to hers, finding the rhythm that worked them both up.

            He could sense when she was close. Her fingernails dug into his shoulder blades and she became louder. His neighbors wouldn’t be pleased but to hell with them, he wanted to hear her in that state. He grabbed her chin so she couldn’t look away from him.

            “Alfie…yes…Alfie…almost, almost…Alfie!”

            Her sharp cry was enough for him to hit his climax. “Fuck!” He grunted and collapsed against her. “Lou…I’ve fucking died and gone to heaven, I have.” He slurred into the crook of her neck.

            She laughed faintly and clung tightly to him. “I might’ve too.” The waves of pleasure ebbed but the feeling of intimacy remained as he stayed in her embrace. Neither wanted to move a muscle, only to stay in that moment for as long as possible.

 

 

            To Louise, Alfie was a work of art. He didn’t represent the ideals of antiquity’s grace, but she didn’t care. Nothing in the world could be flawless. The mesmerizing bit about him was finding the softness hidden behind layers and layers of steel armor. The parts he hid from the world to conceal any possible weakness. To the rest of Britain, he was a calculating, potentially mad man who was indifferent about killing a man with his bare hands. But there was so much more. He was still brutally clever, his ambitions focused on power, and perhaps he was desensitized to gore, but he was still just a man. He'd shown her that well enough the night before. 

            Alfie had a hold on her even if he didn’t intend to.

            “Got your head in the clouds? Lost ya there for a bit.”

            Louise blinked a few times and smiled. She took in the form beside her in bed. He laid on his back, one arm wrapped around her, the other casually placed behind his head. No, he wasn’t a chiseled marble statue, spotless and divine. He was riddled with all sorts of scars of various sizes and different stages of healing. Several tattoos covered his chest, arms, and shoulders. Most were symbols and designs she didn’t recognize the meaning of. Thin black lines etched into his skin, just as permanent as the scars. She wanted to be just as permanent on him. 

            He was built well, probably not as fit as he had been when he was younger and in the army. But his muscles were defined, his strong shoulders something to admire. It was strange seeing him without his usual armor. He was just an average man, but he made himself appear so dangerous. It lent to the idea that Alfie's strength came from within. Something inside gave him the ability to bring a man to his knees without skipping a beat. He was a complex man, maybe no one could decode him entirely. 

 

            Louise traced a few scars and birthmarks up his chest, pausing to outline the tattoos with the pad of her finger. Alfie watched with curious eyes but didn’t dare interrupt her focus. The spine-tingling touch was heavenly for him. Normally, he was so accustomed to rough exchanges. Business handshakes, Tommy Shelby’s was bone-crushing, a good fight, or attempted murder. Now Louise was making him yearn for more of her gentle touches rather than the adrenaline pumping violence.

            She paused at a few scars, taking in the pale white or pink skin that marked him. There was no telling whether or not they were acquired during the war or in Camden town. Maybe even he lost track.

            Finally, Louise smoothed her fingers over each of Alfie’s cheeks. She was so familiar with his beard now and came to adore the bristly texture of it against her skin. But she was curious. “Have you ever thought about shaving?” She cocked her head to the side.

            His brow furrowed but he appeared amused. “Thought you liked my beard.”

            “No, I do!” She shook her head. “I think you’re handsome, you know that.” That produced a cocky smile from him. “But I’m trying to picture what you look like without it.” Her fingernails lightly scratched over his cheekbones.

            “Been like this since I came back from France.” He told her, resting his hands over her wrists so she wouldn’t stop. “Trust me, wouldn’t want to see me without it. Look like a monster with that fucking scar.”

            She frowned. “I’m _sure_ that’s not true.” There was a good chance she would fight anyone who attempted to bad mouth Alfie, even Alfie himself.

            “Mhm." He didn't want to argue the fact. She didn't see him sitting in front of the mirror, disturbed at his own reflection. The stitches from his ear to the side of his chin. The ghastly scar that remained. Better she never saw. "Tell you what, I’ll dig up my military papers. Get to see me clean-shaven.” He bargained just so she wouldn’t even bring up the idea of him shaving.

            Louise gave him a sly glance. “A clean-shaven Captain Solomons in his uniform, lucky me.” 

            His stomach tightened. Her angelic voice calling him by his rank only conjured utterly sinful imagery. He was so blessed that she seemed just as insatiable as he was.

            “I’m sure all the nurses were all fawning over you.” She concentrated on drawing small looping shapes over his cheeks and jaw with the pad of her finger.

            Alfie was surprised to see a hint of jealousy from her. He thought he was the only inherently envious one between them. “Paid them no mind. I was waiting, yeah, for someone better to come along, weren’t I?”

            A smile hinted at her pink lips. “A spoiled girl from Surrey?”

            “A beautiful woman who is truly the fucking best woman I’ve ever met.”

            “Alfie…” Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

            “Woman who deserves the fucking world, don’t she?”

            “Oh, I don’t know about that.” 

            His blue eyes fixed on her while he grabbed her hips so she was straddling his waist. “What do you want most in life? Anything, s’yours by tomorrow, promise.”

            She giggled and shook her head. “I don’t want anything.” Her palms rested on his bare chest.

            “What ‘bout a house?" He didn't believe that she didn't want  _anything_. She was a woman, he assumed they all wanted something nice. He certainly liked some fancy things. "A manor out in the countryside? Hundred servants for you, yeah, won’t have to do anything ever again.”

            “I like my flat in London and I don’t mind taking care of myself.” She shook her head firmly with a bemused smile. "Don't want to spend my days in an empty home like that." 

            But he wasn’t finished, wanting to find her wish. “Horses? You rode horses, dinnit ya? What ‘bout a stable full of any horse you want?”

            “I did ride horses but I don’t need one because I can walk to work.” She tilted her head to the side, looking down at him. 

            “Jewels? Get you the finest jewels this world has seen. I’ve got the best connections out in Paris…”

            “Alfie.” She pressed a finger to his lips. “I only want you and Cyril.” She said adoringly. “You make me so happy and that’s all I need from here on out."

            When she moved her finger, he lifted his hand. “See this?” He showed her a tattoo of a crown between his index finger and thumb.

            “Yes?”

            “Means I’m a king, love.” He murmured and stroked a hand through her hair.

            “Are you?” She smirked. “Does Buckingham Palace know you’ve taken the throne?” She teased.

            He chuckled and shook his head. “Different kinda king. But it means I can spoil who I want, yeah?”

            “Hm…well I hope you find the woman who wants to be spoiled with jewels. Because all I need is a roof over my head, something to wear, place to work, and a handsome man to love me.” She bent down to kiss his forehead.

            He smiled slightly. “Fine, then I’ll just have to guess what you want. ‘Cause I _am_ going to fucking spoil you, yeah? You’ll just be surprised.”

            She sighed. “I guess I can’t stop you…”

            “Mhm, gonna start with a whole closet full of lingerie. Something of every color.” He gave her a wicked smile.

            She bit back a smirk and stuck her tongue out at him. “Do you men only think about sex?” She teased.

            He didn’t respond, instead he tugged her back down to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! I'm so close to 100 kudos! So thank you to everyone who dropped by for a quick skim or those who are camped out for the next chapter. I appreciate it all!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for over 100 kudos!! Also, I made a mistake a few chapters back when Alfie was speaking about his family. Since he mentions he has a younger cousin, his aunt would've had to survive the pogroms in Russia. Sorry for the error.

 

 

            Alfie wasn’t sure what he liked better, Louise in an evening gown, a nightgown, trousers, or nothing at all. Most likely, she could wear anything and he’d still feel weak. Like other men, he was trying to get accustomed to the growing trend of women’s trousers. But when he saw her in baggy khaki pants rolled up to her shins and wearing one of his white button-down shirts, he nearly crumbled.

            She was reading in the sunroom, curled up in an armchair. Her hair was loose and natural instead of in curls. Her bare feet dangled over the cushioned arm of the chair, lazily swinging as she read. Cyril lay near her, his sad eyes looking up at her every so often. Her hand would slip off the book to idly scratch behind his ears. She bore the look of domestic bliss, something Alfie never had the pleasure to indulge in.

            Her hazel eyes looked up over the blue covered book when she noticed his presence in the doorway. “Everything going okay in London?”

            Alfie had nearly forgotten about the phone call he just had with Ollie. “Eh? Oh, yeah, yeah, nothing’s wrong.”

            Cyril lifted himself up and padded over to his master. The dog was enjoying the cottage and especially the beach. It was probably the longest period of time Alfie had been consistently peaceful. There were a few possible remedies. The ocean, the quiet, being out of the bakery, and Louise.

            “See? What did I tell you? Everything would be perfectly fine. You’re allowed to take a break every so often.” Louise straightened up and marked her page before setting the book down.

            “Well, when you’re right, you’re right.” He heavily sat down on one of the nearby couches. He stroked Cyril’s ears when the bullmastiff leaned against his legs.

            She gasped in feigned shock, pressing a hand to her heart. “My Alfie is admitting he was wrong about something? Call the Daily Mail!”

            He chuckled and shook his head. “One man can’t be right ‘bout everything, now can he?”

            “My mother used to say there was only one thing keeping men from sending the world straight into chaos.” She gave him a sly look and sat on her heels.

            “Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What would that be?”

            “A patient woman.”

            He rubbed a hand over his chin and shrugged. “You think? I dunno.”

            Louise rolled her eyes because she knew he was just trying to pull her leg. She stood and flipped her hair. “Well if you don’t know then you won’t ever know.” She replied and went to pass by him.

            “C’mere you.” Alfie grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap making her giggle softly. He set his hands firmly on her hips as he held her gaze. “Me mum, yeah, she would grab me by the ear.” He playfully tweaked Louise’s earlobe. “After I’d gotten in trouble with coppers. Then she’d say I weren’t ever gonna find a respectable woman. Always asked me what I wanted.” He stuck his tongue in his cheek.

            “What did you want?” Louise wondered. She slipped her hands under his shirt to rest on his shoulders, smoothing her thumb over the knots in his muscles.

            He groaned in appreciation and closed his eyes for a moment. “To be fucking honest, I didn’t know. All I knew was what I knew, yeah? Knew that people looked down on me. Just a petty criminal, a poor Jew, all rough ‘round the edges. Was nothing but a little pest. But what if I could show ‘em? Show London that I were a force to be reckoned with?” His blue eyes opened again and he stared at the ceiling. “Make ‘em think twice ‘bout what they said.” His voice faded into something grim. His jaw tensed and he let out a sigh.

           “You wanted them to know you by name.” Louise realized.

            He raised an eyebrow and his eyes flicked to her.

            She explained herself. “Alfie Solomons. You wanted people to hear that name and react. You didn’t want to be another nameless face being shoved to the side.”

            His mustache twitched with a hint of a smile. “Perhaps.” He murmured coyly. “Did I good job of that, didn’t I?”

            “I would say so.” Louise stilled her hands and studied his face. “So, now what do you want?”

            “Eh?”

            “You’ve made something of your name.” She wouldn’t comment on the ambiguity of what that something was. “So now what?”

            “Well, keep working. S’all I can do.” He shrugged and closed his eyes again. “London ain’t going anywhere any time soon so neither am I.” His voice quieted to a whisper as he relaxed back.

            Louise watched him rest. Despite the break, there was always a hint of exhaustion under his eyes. He was thirty-six but had aged from experience alone. The things he’d witnessed stuck to him. Things he couldn’t control like the scars digging into his skin. And things he chose like the inflicted tattoos. It was a wonder if men like Alfie stepped back and evaluated their course of action. If they were falling through an abyss, doing things they never thought they’d do, eventually changing the world around them. Were they destructive or misled?

            She kissed his forehead and he mumbled softly, reaching up to touch the nape of her neck.

            Was it so wrong to try and become what Alfie was becoming? Was he any different from kings and emperors? Men who killed for power?

            She swallowed and closed her eyes, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He felt so safe. The image of Alfie Solomons, the image others saw was fading away. It was nothing but a façade to her. She’d never been on the sharp edge of that sword and never anticipated to.

            He enveloped her in his arms, his lips finding her temple and kissing her skin tenderly.

            It was inevitable. The further she fell for him, the further engrossed in him she became. The jewel of Alfie’s affection. Sometimes a queen didn’t see the actions of her king. Yet she was a queen, nonetheless.

 

           

            “Alfie could you-” Louise paused as she entered through the open door. A young man stood at Alfie’s desk. They both glanced at her. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were in a meeting.” She stepped back.

            They’d returned to London after the weekend. Alfie grumbled and complained but there was work to be done. Louise assured him there would be more trips to Margate in the future. Just to confirm this, Alfie bought the cottage they’d rented. But he didn’t disclose that to her. He’d find another time to surprise her. It was nice to have as a backup plan. It gave some light to London’s smoke and gloom.

            “No, no, s’alright.” Alfie waved Louise into the office. “This is one of my lads. Nicholas, this is me secretary, Louise Barnes.”

            “Nice to meet you, Nicholas.” She smiled politely and went to set a few papers down in front of Alfie. She didn’t mind coming back to London as much as Alfie did. Of course, it would be nice to stay on the ocean, she was content wherever he was. She was also happy that the trip had eased some of his aches and worries.

            “Pleasure, Miss Barnes.” The tall man replied with a tip of his hat.

            “Everything alright?” Louise sensed something was amiss. Alfie looked deep in thought with his hand over his mouth and his eyes fixed on the cabinet across the room.

            “Grace Shelby was killed last night.” He answered her honestly.

            It was an icy shock. Louise had never met Tommy’s wife, they’d only been recently married. But there was talk about her work with the Shelby foundation She was also aware of the son Tommy had with her. “Killed? How?” She was stunned.

            “A bullet meant for her husband.” He ran his fingers over his beard while staring into space.

            Louise inhaled shakily. “We should go pay our respects to the family, especially Tommy.”

            “More pressing matters right now.” Alfie blinked a few times, snapping out of his daze.

            “What do you mean?” Louise looked over at Nicholas realizing he probably brought the bad news. “What pressing matters?”

            “Were the Italians. Messy ‘tween ‘em ‘n the Blinders.” Nicholas told her in a thick accent. “Things been escalatin’.”

            “Sabini?”

            “No.” Alfie cracked his knuckles, still sounding detached and too engrossed in his own mind. “The Changrettas.”

            The name wasn’t familiar to Louise and she thought she had a good handle on the people she needed to know. “Are they in London?”

            “The son is in New York. Runnin’ gin. Could be big as Capone, they say. Works for the Spinietta family too.”

            “But Vincente and Angel live here,” Alfie said shaking his head. “And they fucking dug their own graves when their assassin missed the mark. Satan himself couldn’t kill that gypsy, they wasted their time trying to.”

            “Tommy is going to try to retaliate.” Louise followed the logic. The Peaky Blinders, like other firms, never let go of a grudge until they had the final say. Usually, that created a back and forth that didn’t seem to have an end. There was always someone with a pistol looking for revenge.

            “Angel Changretta’s already dead. Fuckin’ throat slit.” Nicholas told her in a grim voice. He wasn’t sure a woman, no less a secretary should hear such things. But Alfie didn’t stop him from telling her.

            “But that’s their business.” She said with shaky assurance. “It won’t bother us, right?” There was no response. “Alfie?”

            “Nick, you can go.” The gangster stood up to see his informant out. He didn’t bother to answer Louise’s question.

            The silence gave her anxiety and she wasn’t sure what was happening. “Alfie, you’re scaring me.”

            He shut the door and pulled the blinds so the rest of the bakery couldn’t see into his office.

            “Al-”

            He held up a hand to hush her. “Listen very carefully, yeah, because this innit a game.” He stopped in front of her, his blue eyes hard on her face. “We go on, keep working, right?”

            “Then why are you so worried?”

            “Who said I was fucking worried?” He retorted sharply. “I’m not…” He grimaced and huffed out a breath. His eyes looked over her shoulder. “When a war starts, everyone looks for allies. They’re gonna look to me, yeah?”

            “You can’t get involved in this,” Louise whispered and touched his cheek. “Alfie, this is none of your business. What Tommy wants to do, he’ll do. But you don’t need any part of this.”

            Alfie refused to look at her. “They’ll involve me whether I fucking like it or not. S’not how the game is played, Lou.”

            “This isn’t a game…”

            “We’ll just have to wait to see what Tommy does next.” He tried pulling away from Louise.

            “Alfie…”

            “You can go back to work, s’all I had to tell you.” He nodded curtly and went to lift the blinds.

            She stared at him for a moment, frozen in place. “What are you willing to risk, Alfie? For something you have no stake in?”

            “You can go, Louise.” He sat back down and pointed to the door. “I have a meeting soon.”

            The woman swallowed and contemplated putting up a fight. But she didn’t want to make things worse. They would handle it later. She had to go about this the only way she knew how.


	13. Chapter 13

 

            The next morning, Louise called Alfie and told him she was feeling under the weather and wouldn’t be going to work. The man didn’t mind and didn’t suspect anything. Then she rang Ishmael and said Alfie allowed her the car for the day. The boy gave her the keys without much hesitation. Alfie treated Louise like royalty so he wasn’t in any position to question. It may not have been fair to lie, but there was something she had to do.

 

            Louise pulled up the gravel drive, amazed by the beauty and intense power of the Arrow House. It was fairly similar to the estate she grew up in, but it had been some time since she’d seen such a stately home.

            She walked up the steps with a bouquet of condolence lilies. After ringing the doorbell, she realized how nervous she was. There was no telling how a man like Tommy Shelby mourned.

            Polly answered the door; a look of surprise crossed her face. “Louise, I haven’t seen you in nearly a year.” The last time, the young woman was in Birmingham she was clutching a blood-soaked sweater to her stab wounds.

            “Ms. Gray, it’s so nice to see you again. I was saddened to hear the news about Grace, I heard she was a lovely woman.”

            Polly had a feeling Louise was raised to be a socialite even if she never became one. But every occasion, happy or sad, had a set of etiquette and demeanor. And although she fit the role well, Louise did seem genuine. “Thank you, dear. I’ll let Tommy know you stopped by.” Polly said gently and took the flowers.

            “Is he not home? Have I come at a bad time?” Louise was hoping to give her condolences to the widower.

            “I’m afraid he’s absent at the moment.” Tommy’s aunt sighed heavily. She knew he was out in the pastures and there would be nothing to coax him back. He was in such a state. “He hasn’t been seeing anyone lately.”

            “Oh no, of course.” Louise nodded. “I can’t imagine what he’s going through. I don’t want to intrude.”

            Polly had no ill feelings toward the woman. In fact, she was glad to she’d recovered so well from the attack. “Do you want to come in for tea?” She offered. “Ada’s here as well.”

            “That sounds lovely, thank you, but I should get back. I want to return Alfie’s car soon.”

            Concern set on Polly’s face at the mention of that name. “Alfie. Alfie Solomons?” She asked slowly.

            “Yes, Tommy helped me get a job in the bakery.” Louise thought it was strange that Polly, who Alfie said was a key piece of the Shelby company, didn’t know about the arrangement.

            “He…” The older woman pinched the bridge of her nose with a weary groan. She cursed her nephew for making such a foolish decision. “Love, that man is dangerously unhinged.”

            “Oh, Ms. Gray, it’s alright.” Louise grew uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hear someone judge Alfie when they didn’t know him as well as she did. “I am aware of Alfie’s business dealings.” Proper and polite even under the eyes of scrutiny. They were two women who were waist-deep in gang activity but she needed to be wary. Her loyalty lay with Alfie and Polly’s obviously lay with her family.

            Polly studied her face. “Maybe I misjudged you. You may be naïve or maybe you like being under his wing. Just know that there are consequences to that.” She wasn’t criticizing, merely observing. She’d worked this job long enough.

            Louise swallowed and stepped back. It was hard to hear the questions she’d asked herself at one point. “Please tell Mr. Shelby I’m sorry for his loss. Good day.” She said stiffly and returned to the car.

            “Be careful, men like him get restless.”

           

 

            On the drive back, Louise couldn’t help but ruminate on Polly’s warning. Was she naïve or did she get thrills from danger? Was that really a reason to be with a person? Was Alfie with her for the right reasons? Would he ever tire of her?

 

            It was late afternoon when Louise returned to her apartment. Unbeknownst to her, Alfie was waiting and had been for an hour.

            He’d been in a frenzy ever since he asked Ishmael to call on Louise to make sure she was okay and didn’t need medication for her illness. Ishmael told him about giving her the car, unaware of her faux illness. The poor young man was still smarting after Alfie whacked him on the upside of the head and berated him about being thick.

            After telling Ishmael off, Alfie was standing across from Louise’s apartment. He was two minutes from going to call for help to look for her.

            When he saw her arrive, he headed towards her. “’Bout to lose me fucking mind.” His booming voice started Louise and made her drop her keys.

            “Alfie!” She pressed a hand to her heart. “You cannot sneak up on me like that.” She stooped down to retrieve her keys.

            His face was already turning red since he’d worked himself up enough before she’d even arrived. “Where’ve you been, eh?” She could see he was deeply angered. It wasn’t a fit of temper flaring because of irritation. No, he’d been moved to a fierce displeasure.

            “I said I was home for the day. Then I ran some errands when I felt up to leaving the flat.” She turned her back to him while opening the door.

            Alfie stormed inside once it was unlocked.

            Louise stood dumbfounded. “Why, yes, Alfie, _do_ come in.” She muttered sarcastically under her breath. She followed behind him.

            “You’re fucking lying to me.” He paced in the front hall like a caged tiger. “You lied to me and you lied to me fucking staff!”

            “I’m-”

            “Don’t.” He stopped and held up a finger. His jaw was twitching from how hard he was clenching his teeth. His eyes were wide and he looked ready to kick off. “Dozens of times I called.” His voice climbed in volume. “Called your neighbors, they said you’d left hours ago. Called ‘bout everyone in Camden looking for you!” He pointed at her accusingly. “So ‘fore you answer, think, yeah? Because you don’t know what I can find out, love.”

            Louise stared at him, disgusted by how threatening his tone was. “I am an adult and I’m free to go about my own life.” She retorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t need to ask for Alfie Solomons’s permission to go anywhere.”

            His nostrils flared. “You think it’s fucking fine to just disappear, not telling anyone where you’ve fucking gone?” He demanded, his eyes narrowing.

            “Since when do I have to tell anyone where I’m going?” She exclaimed.

            “Unbelievable,” He slammed his cane down on the hardwood floor almost making the flat shake around him, “acting like a fucking child. Just tell me where you were.”

            “I’m acting like a child?” She scoffed and threw her hands up. “I’m not the one throwing a tantrum, you are!”

            “Where were you?” He repeated.

            “I was out.”

            “Louise, I swear…”

            “What? You’ll punish me like one of your men?” She challenged with a sharp snap. 

            Alfie felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach. “I would…would never.” His voice broke out in shame. The fact that it had even crossed her mind made him sick. He never wanted to be grouped in with the men who would abuse a woman. “Fucking hell, Lou, can’t you see I’m terrified to lose you?”

            “You aren’t losing me, you daft man. If I was going to leave you, I’d tell you.” She saw the crack in his anger but she was still upset by how he approached her. So she didn't back down. 

            “That’s not what I’m talking ‘bout.” He muttered and chewed at the inside of his cheek. He gripped his hands together anxiously as he stayed under her gaze.

            “Then what in the world are you so worked up about?”

            He bit his tongue but couldn’t hold back. “I ain’t ‘bout to lose you like that!” He shouted.

            They faced each other in the hall, the room falling silent for a moment. Alfie’s shoulder heaving and his face twisted in grief.

            “Like what? I don’t know what you’re on about.” Her voice quieted as they arrived at the root of his anger.

            He grimaced and scrubbed a hand over his face, fidgeting in distress. “Like Grace. Like fucking Tommy Shelby. I ain’t gonna let some fucker take you from me because of what I do.” His voice wavered and he was on the brink of breaking down. “My worst fear is losing you, Louise. And my enemies can’t know that, yeah, or they’ll exploit it. This lifestyle, right, it’s fucking dangerous and I’ve put you right in the middle of it. I feel guilty but I…” He looked down at her hands. It was overwhelming to divulge in such personal feelings. It was so rare for him to even express such emotions. Now he had to learn how to put words to those emotions for Louise. She made it a bit easier but he was still working on it. “But I can’t be without you, Lou.”

            “Well, you don’t have to.” She tried to get him to look at her again. But he kept his eyes downcast. “Alfie, I’m not going anywhere, I’ve already told you that.”

            “What if you end up dead ‘cause of me?” His blue eyes slowly met her face again. He looked wracked with guilt and worry, his brow furrowed.

            Louise’s voice stuck in her throat for a moment. It was hard to see him in such a state because she wasn’t confident in her ability to comfort him. She could only do her best. “Th-that won’t happen.” But it was impossible to say for sure. “Alfie, no one is guaranteed tomorrow.” She led him over to the parlor to sit. Wrapping her arms around him, she let him lean on her. She pressed soothing kisses to the side of his face. “The only thing I’m concerned about is spending my time with you. Because, in the end, that’s what matters to me. I don’t care how much time we have left, I care that I’m with you.”

            Alfie buried his face in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes. He tried to steady his breath but had gotten so worked up it would take some time before he evened out again. “I’m no good, Lou.”

            “You’ve told me that before but I still don’t agree.” She whispered and held him close.

            He sighed deeply and knew he could never change her mind. They sat in silence, Louise rubbing his shoulder and kissing him every so often. Finally, Alfie had calmed down enough to be rational.

            “Where were you?”

            The accusation tone had left his voice so Louise was honest. “I went to pay my respects to the Shelbys.” She answered.

            “Fucking hell.” He grumbled and lifted his head. “Right, I guess I can’t control where you go. But I would like a warning so I don’t lose me fucking mind again.”

            Louise could compromise and nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry, I just didn’t think you’d be happy with where I was going.”

            He sat back and rubbed his eyes. The amount of worry for her had exhausted him. “I know you trust the Shelbys more than I do. But you need to be fucking careful with ‘em.”

            “They’ve only treated me kindly.”

            “I know…I know.” He rested his elbows on his knees and hunched over slightly. He wouldn’t launch into another argument with her. One was more than enough for a long time. “But just please, exercise caution.” He pled.

            Sensing the desperation behind his words, she nodded. “Alright, next time I’ll tell you and we can discuss it.” She suggested. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” She leaned forward to touch his cheek and guide his eyes back to her.

            “M’sorry for yelling.” He looked embarrassed. “Weren’t right, you deserve better treatment than that.”

            “I know you didn’t mean it.” She pressed her forehead to his. “I love you, Alfie, that’s not going to change.”

            Alfie wasn’t positive. He was a foul-mouthed sinner with blood on his hands. In any other world, Louise would be with someone who truly deserved her. But she persisted and remained with him. He wasn’t sure if he was the luckiest man in the world, or selfishly evil for keeping her by his side for his own benefit.

            As if she could read his mind, she spoke again. “You’re stuck with me.” She informed him with a smile.

            He chuckled weakly and tucked a curl behind her ear. He drew away to look into her eyes. The hazel flecks shining with adoration for him. She looked at him in a way no one else ever had. And he was sure no one else ever would. He was aware that he would only have eyes for her for the rest of his life. “Lou, I’d follow you to the fucking ends of the Earth if you asked me to. I’m yours.”

            That was it. Alfie was surrendering. Releasing the doubts and falling to his knees in front of her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I've been recovering from surgery and my brain's been a little fuzzy. So if I make any mistakes, please point them out to me.

            It was encouraging to know that even when faced with a difficult issue, Louise’s relationship with Alfie could endure. In fact, she felt like it was even stronger. A real relationship dealt with the real world. She couldn’t have the fluffy relationships from the romance novels she read as a teenager. They simply did not exist.

            She much preferred Alfie anyways. The sly glances he gave her throughout the day and the subtle touches warmed her heart. There was a major difference between Alfie at work and Alfie in private. There was a reputation that needed to be upheld. Louise didn’t change that if anything she enhanced it. Anyone who worked with them knew she was a major trigger. A gangster’s woman was sacred, the sole person on the Earth who had access to his heart. She wasn’t disposable. She was above all else. A Medusa to others. One glance could massively fuck you over.

            Louise wasn’t very fond of being feared. If anything, she felt a little lonely. No one, except for Ollie would speak to her unless it was work related. And even then they preferred going to Ollie.

            She’d made friends outside the bakery but she often worked long hours so it was hard to socialize. Only by her own choices though. Louise was dedicated to keeping Alfie’s life organized if to just ease his stress by a fraction. Plus she never wanted to be the young socialite who wandered around the house, bored and drunk before noon. Work gave her purpose.

           

            “Lou, s’getting late. Why don’t you head home, love?”

            She was sat at her desk when Alfie came to hover in the doorway between them. “I will after I’ve typed this up.” Her eyes remained fixed on the paper in front of her.

            “You don’t have to finish everything today.” He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest.

            “You said you needed it by tomorrow.” She replied and mindlessly kept typing.

            “Right, well, fuck what I said. Yeah, now I’m saying I don’t need it by tomorrow.”

            Louise stilled her hands and looked up. “Are you going to say something different tomorrow.” She raised an eyebrow. “Because I’d rather get it done than face the wrath of Alfie Solomons tomorrow.”

            He chuckled and straightened up. “C’mon, you, I’ll walk ya home.” He offered and turned to get his things.

            “Sir.” A man jogged up to Louise’s desk.

            “What?” Alfie grunted as the burden of work returned.

            The dark haired boy looked no older than eighteen. The mere action of approaching Alfie made him appear ill with worry. His eyes were wide and he stood on edge, ready to bolt at any moment. “Sabini’s men, a few of ‘em threatened the pub owner down the street. He’s come to complain.”

            Alfie’s face clouded over. Things weren’t well in London, especially on the Jewish front. Sabini was getting more confident and toeing the lines. With the possible threat from the Changretta’s, Alfie was starting to really lose his temper with the Italians. Even more so than before.

            “Well, that’s fucking fantastic, innit?” He threw his hands up. “You tell him, yeah, that I’ll meet with him in an hour.” He pulled his hat on with a note of finality.

            “Alfie,” Louise stood up and touched his arm for comfort. “You should meet with him now. I can stay for a bit or I’ll walk myself home.” She suggested in a steady voice.

            “No.” He shook his head and checked his pocket watch before stuffing it in his pocket. “M’walking you home now. He can wait.”

            “Sir, he’s very agitated.” The young man interjected. “He’s insisting that you…”

            Alfie gave him a sharp glare. “Did I fucking mumble? Am I speaking another language? I am going to walk out them doors to bring Miss Barnes home then I will return. Only then will I speak to him. Not before. Is that fucking clear?”

            “Yes, sir.” He stammered and hurried away to relay the message.

            Louise slipped on her sweater and gathered up her belongings.

            Alfie watched and waited patiently for her. “Too harsh you think?”

            She smiled and took his awaiting arm. “You’re always too harsh, but that’s who you need to be for a job like this.” They walked through the bakery and out the back entrance to avoid the disgruntled client. The August night was chilly and the air held warnings of fall.

            “Mhm, so you secretly like it then?” Alfie asked coyly. His cane clicked against the cobblestones as they walked side by side. Louise always felt so much safer next to him. It didn’t matter what time of the day it was or where they were. When she was on Alfie’s arm, she felt untouchable.

            “What?” Louise’s cheeks went red. “A military captain as a boss?”

            “No, as a lover.” He thoroughly enjoyed the small sinful smile that crossed her lips. A mischievous little angel.

            “Captain Solomons, I’ve no clue what you’re on about.” She gave him a sly look. “I think you’re the one who wants to hold onto their military title.”

            “Not quite.” He shook his head. “Fucking chucked that nonsense once I got back. Didn’t want to keep ‘em.”

            “Your medals?” Louise asked as they approached her front stoop. “Why?”

            He cleared his throat and shrugged. “What good are they here in London? M’not Captain Solomons anymore am I? What I did there, people couldn’t bother ‘bout could they?” His hat and the dim streetlamps cast a shadow over his face.

            “I care.” She insisted and touched his chest. “You fought for our safety. I think that’s honorable and should be celebrated.” Britain did what it could for its veterans. But it could never be enough. Warfare had changed and there was no going back. Now countries could drag out deadly combat for years. The men who served never made it out okay. They either lost something physically or mentally. Who would want to celebrate an event that had so drastically altered them?

            “Death innit something to give medals for.” He replied quietly.

            Louise felt uncomfortable that she had pressed the matter. “Oh, Alfie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

            He smiled and took her hand to kiss her knuckles. “Nothing to apologize for, love.”

            She sighed and pressed her cheek to his hand. “Sometimes I just wish I could take on your pain.”

            “Why’d you want to do something like that?” His eyebrows knit together.

            “Because I love you.” Her hazel eyes landed softly on him. “And it isn’t easy to see someone you love in pain.”

            “I know, but then you’d be in pain. Can’t have that now, can I?”

            She smiled and let her hand slip from his. “You have work to do, Captain Solomons.” She pecked his cheek. “You can call me when you’re done.”

            “Won’t keep you up. Might go on late.” He sighed and tugged on his beard. “Don’t hafta worry ‘bout me.”

            “Try not to be so mean.” She teased softly and leaned against the handrail. “Be nice, I’m sure he’s worried.”

            He sighed and pouted. “I’ll try me best.” He replied begrudgingly. “Won’t make any promises.”

            “Fair enough.”

            “See you tomorrow then.” He smiled and waited until she was safely inside. The lamp in the hall turned on and she gave him a loving smile through the window.

 

 

            Louise didn’t give him much time to prepare. In fact, she was intending on keeping it from him for as long as she possibly could. But she’d let it slip that her birthday was the following weekend.

 

            “What’s next Thursday’s date, Lou?” Alfie asked when he was elbow deep in paperwork.

            “Well, Friday is the fourth, that’s my…” she sealed up instantly before the word slipped out.

            He looked up at her over his glasses. “Is your…what?”

            Louise just shook her head and shrugged.

            He gave her a confused look. “It’s your birthday?” There was a very short list of things that could finish her sentence. And he hoped she didn’t mean to say it was her time of the month. He hated being sidelined for those few days.

            She bit her lip but realized Alfie had her beat. “Yes.” She admitted. “My birthday is on Friday.”

            “Well, d’ya forget to tell me?” A smile softened his features. “Eh? Silly lass.”

            “Not exactly.” She shrugged again and sat on the edge of his desk. “I haven’t celebrated it in a while.” Her voice was sheepish through the admission. “Daniel always forgot or couldn’t be bothered. I guess I’ve just learned not to expect anything for it.”

            “Well, that’s not me.” Alfie retorted. “If you’d’ve told me-”

            “That’s just it though, Alfie.” She touched his hand. “I didn’t want you to fuss. There’s no reason to.”

            His lower lip jutted out. “Well, won’t fuss ‘bout it. Just want to make you feel special, right?”

            She shrugged and stood up. “I don’t need you to spoil me.”

            “Well, ‘course I’m going to fucking spoil you.” He replied and reached for her hand before she went back to her desk. “Lou, you deserve it.”

            “We’ve talked about this before, love, I only need you.” She turned back to him and set her journal down on his desk. “You’d be the best birthday present a girl could ever have.”

            Alfie smiled and kissed the top of her hand. “M’still gonna spoil you.” He decided and went back to his work before she could argue with him.

            Louise sighed deeply and shook her head. “Most stubborn man in London.” She mumbled and retrieved her things. “Maybe all of Britain. Or the world!”

            He chuckled and ran his fingers down the chain of his glasses. “Fucking hell, that girl…”

 

            At his request, Louise stayed over Alfie’s place the night before her birthday. Friday morning, she woke up to a beautiful sight. Her beloved was getting dressed near the bed. He grunted quietly as he pulled on his suspenders, his broad shoulders flexing.

            Louise drew the sheets over her chest and smiled as he went about his day. “Is this my present?” She murmured.

            He startled a little and turned around. “Fuck thought you were out cold.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. “Not your only present, love, I promise you that.”  

            She cradled his cheeks and gave him a stern look. “Alfie…I told you-”

            “Trust me, Lou, I restrained myself.” He pecked her lips a few more times before withdrawing. “Right, I’ve got to head out. You, my love, have the day off. I’ll have Evelyn draw you a bath, relax today, yeah?”

            “So I’m supposed to just laze around your home all day?” Louise propped her cheek up to watch him pull on his waistcoat. “Waiting for you to return?” She smiled.

            “Well, it’s your place now too, love.” He informed her casually. He pocketed his watch and reached for his hat.    

            “What?” Louise sat up in shock. “Alfie?”

            “That’s one present.” He gave her a playful look. “M’not paying your rent anymore because I’d like to have you here with me. If that’s alright?” He sat down on the bed next to her and sheepishly clasped his hands together. “Sorta more of a present to myself.” He admitted.

            She bit back an overjoyed smile. “You want me to come live with you?” She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

            “’Course. Have you around all the time? S’fucking heaven, innit?” He touched her hand and let her kiss his cheek. “And, whenever we like, we’ve got a place to escape to as well.”

            “Where’s that?” It was impossible to hide the smile. The news was like a dream to her. Spending more time with Alfie was nothing less than a dream come true for Louise.

            “Margate, the cottage we stayed at. You liked it a lot, yeah?” He answered, happy to make her so excited. It felt like it was his main purpose at that moment was to make her as happy as possible. The more he could make her smile, the more satisfied he felt.

            “You bought it?” Louise’s eyes lit up. “Alfie! I don't even know what to say.”

            He laughed and wrapped an arm around her. “Told you, love, you deserve everything.” He murmured into the crook of her neck. “Would give you the fucking world if I could.”

            “You have, you already have.”

 

            Alfie promised a relaxing day for Louise and he didn’t fall short. After taking the morning for herself, she took Cyril for a long walk. When she returned, she found her things already brought to the flat. She also discovered a new dress waiting on the bed along with a note from Alfie. She took her time getting ready for her night with him. Evelyn helped her, doing her curls and babbling on about Ishmael bringing her flowers. Then she rambled on about how much happier Alfie seemed now that Louise was in his life. The young woman was intent that the two would marry and have many children in the near future. For the finishing touch, Alfie had gotten her a silver gown that glimmered in the light. It made her feel divine, especially when Alfie returned home and saw her in it. He was speechless for a bit until he let out a ‘fucking hell’ like clockwork.

            “One more thing.” He turned her around so he could carefully place a necklace over her collarbone.

            Louise held the necklace and gasped softly. “Alfie…” Clear and pure sapphire stones decorated the silver chain.  

            “Do you like it?” He rested his hands on her shoulders once the necklace was clasped. "Reminded me of the dress you wore when we first went out together." 

            The sentimental meaning made her heart skip a beat. “It’s too much but I love it.” She murmured and kissed him firmly. “Alright, Mr. Solomons, take me out on the town.”

           

 

            “Evening, Mr. Solomons.” The man at the door greeted him politely, giving a nod of respect.

            “Benjamin, how are ya? Wife’s well I trust?” He cleared his throat and went to help Louise out of her coat. 

            Louise watched Alfie socialize. It was a rare sight to see. He usually went to parties or bars in a manner of business. And business interactions usually didn’t go well, threats were abundant. But now here he was chatting to the man like nothing she’d ever seen before. Louise thought he was always guarded in public.

            “His wife runs a great charity, wonderful really.” He told Louise. “Should have you meet her, she’s a lovely woman, this ol’ bastard’s lucky to have her, innit he?”

            Benjamin laughed, the older man seemed comfortable with Alfie, unlike the majority of London. “And who’s this then? Never seen you entertain before, Alfie.” He had warm eyes with good intentions. That was most likely why they got along. An untrusting man such as Alfie could find a little leeway here and there. 

            “This is Louise, very special to me. S’her birthday, actually.” The gangster seemed more than pleased to brag about the beautiful woman on his arm. It made Louise even happier, a feat that seemed nearly impossible after all the gifts Alfie had bestowed on her. 

            “Well, happy birthday, Louise. Lovely to meet a woman who can put a smile on Mr. Solomons' face.”

            Louise squeezed Alfie’s arm. “I try my best.”

            “All on the house, as usual. You two have fun now.”

            Alfie escorted Louise inside. The bad and dance floor was packed. Loud jazz music almost shook the floor. She stuck close to him so she wouldn’t bump into anyone else. He brought her past the dance floor to a staircase. The second floor overlooked the club below. It was less crowded, a few couples talking intimately at tables, some wallflowers smoking by the railing and watching the dancers below.            

            The found a table by a corner where it was quietest. Louise leaned over the small table, taking his hands. “Thank you for everything today.” She said gratefully. "Truly, I couldn't be more blessed." 

            “Everything was good?” He asked making sure she was utterly content with the day.

            “Of course, Alfie. You’ve spoiled me so much but being able to spend time with you always makes me happy.”

            “Couldn’t even imagine how happy it makes me.”

            “Oh really? Wanna bet?”

            “Louise?” An unfamiliar voice startled the two out of their moment. 

            She looked up and dread stuck in her throat when she saw who interrupted them. “Will.” She was in shock to see the man her parents intended for her to marry so many years ago. They hadn’t spoken since Louise eloped with Daniel.

            Now he was older, wore an expensive looking suit, was clearly drunk, and had a petite blonde by his side. It was clear he'd remained in the elite lifestyle and wore it like a badge of honor. Always going out, throwing around money, and draining the trust fund on expensive cars and horses. 

            “Louise Barnes.” He shook his head, looking amused at the very sight of her. “Tess, this is the girl I was telling you about. From Surrey.”

            “Oh!” The blonde’s eyes widened and she giggled. “So, nice to meet you.”

            Louise felt Alfie’s hand tighten and his eyes narrowed. It was about to get ugly and Louise wasn't sure Will knew what he was getting himself into. 

            “Um, Alfie, this is Will. He was a friend of my family’s.” She introduced awkwardly. She’d told him about her betrothal but they never spoke any further about it. It was a part of her life she would've rather kept locked up. Instead, she was forced to relive it. 

            “Well, I’d argue I was a bit more than that, Louise. We were meant to be married. For years our parents were planning it.” Will laughed with no attempt to hide his malice. “Then we all found out she’s gone and ran off with a drunkard.”

            Will’s girlfriend tittered along with him like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. A rich girl throwing her money away instead of relying on it until the day she died. 

            “How is he then? How’s your husband? What's his name again?" 

            “He’s passed. I’ve remarried.” Louise lifted her chin and looked him deadset in the eyes.

            “Is that so? Louise Barnes managed to find another low life?”

            “It’s Solomons now, actually.” Alfie stood up, adjusting the rings on his fingers. “That’ll be Mrs. Solomons to you, mate.” He looked up from under the grim of his hat, casting a menacing shadow over his face. “Will, is it? Name’s Alfie Solomons.”

            Realization struck Will’s face. The young male aristocrats were well aware of Britain’s underworld. They often paid for protection, sold their liquor at bars they owned for fun and used bookies for sport. Alfie Solomons was a name on the list of people not to fuck with. It didn’t matter how much money you had or from which family you came from. But a man full of gin loses a sense of danger and will tempt an enraged bear.

            “Well, she always wanted to fuck the bad boys, didn’t she?” Will laughed and patted Alfie on the arm.

            The gangster plastered on a fake smile and laughed along. A ploy he used to throw off his victims before he set in the final blow. “Aw Lou, he’s just a joker, innit he? Can’t imagine why you passed him up, yeah, real catch.”

            She just shrugged, waiting for the switch to flip. It was mildly amusing to watch now that she had learned the psychological strategies he used against opponents. It was as if she were watching a sporting match, a chess game of intimidation. And it helped that Will deserved what was coming to him. 

            “Fucking hilarious. How ‘bout this one, mate?” Alfie grabbed Will by the arm with an iron grip. “You keep blabbering on ‘bout my wife, gossiping like an old lady? Yeah? And I’ll fucking rip your tongue out an then shove it down your fucking throat.”

            The smile dropped off Will’s face. His girlfriend clutched at his arm, the two were stunned by the threat.

            “Right. Now, since it’s me wife’s birthday I won’t let you bother her again. So if I see you in my fucking line of vision you’ll lose an eye. That seem fair?” Alfie sized Will up, squinting his eyes at him for a moment. “Yeah…make that both your eyes. Now fuck off.”

            They didn’t linger long and Alfie sat down with a heavy grunt. “Fucking lowlife.” He muttered. “Sorry, ‘bout that, love.” He partially regretted making a scene in front of Louise on her birthday. But he wasn’t about to let Will get away with the remarks either.

            Louise bit back a smile and pecked his cheek. “You’re lovely.” She murmured affectionately.

            He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Yeah? What makes you say that?”

            “You stand up for me.” She moved closer to him, pressing her forehead to his temple so he could hear her over the music. “Men like that are spineless but you…you’re something else. And I love you for that.”

            He smiled and took her hand in his again. “Well you’re a woman standing up for, ain’t ya? A husband’s gotta look out for his wife?”

            A blush spread over her face. “Sorry about that. It just sort of popped out.” She admitted shyly and fiddled with the collar of his shirt.

            “Nah, s’alright. It were nice to say, weren’t it? Just didn’t know you were thinking ‘bout stuff like that, yeah?” He lifted a hand to the nape of her neck, his rough fingers tracing down her spine.

            She shivered under his touch and cuddled closer. The distance between them was unacceptable in her view. “Evelyn mentioned it and I guess…” She shrugged slightly. “It sounded nice.”

            “Yeah, did sound nice.” Alfie’s heart ached for her. He wanted to give her everything. But he was unsure if he could promise a marriage. He didn’t know if that was a chance he was willing to take on her safety.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy Shelby's been fucking with Russians. Alfie gets hopelessly sidetracked.

            “Lou.”

            The petite form buried under the quilts turned over in response to Alfie’s voice. A muffled grumble came from beneath and he chuckled.

            “Lou, s’morning, love.” Alfie coyly reached out and pushed the blankets away from her feet so he could tickle her.

            Louise squealed and curled up in a ball to get away from him. “Alfie!” She tossed the blankets back and gave him a look of displeasure. “That’s not fair.”

            “Easiest way to get you outta bed.” He grinned and his chest tightened when she emerged. Her disheveled curls and light brown eyes were his greatest weakness. “How is it, yeah, that m’lready dressed and you’re still lazing ‘round?” He teased and bent down to touch her cheek.

            “Because you kept me up all night long, you insatiable man.” She retorted and straightened up to kiss him.

            But Alfie pulled away before she could. “Things to be done. Taking a drive out to the countryside.”

            Louise sat up and stretched. “What sort of business do you have in the countryside?” She asked before standing and going to get dressed.

            “Never said it had anything to do with business.” He shrugged and took a moment to appreciate her form in the barely-there nightgown as she bent over to open a drawer.

            “You can’t lie and ogle me from behind, Mr. Solomons.”

            He smirked and ran a hand through his hair. “Jus’ get ready to go.” He headed for the door but paused. “Unless you’ll be having a hard time walking, yeah, after last night?” He added.

            “You cheeky bastard.” Louise threw a blouse at him a blush spreading over her cheeks. He laughed and retreated downstairs before desire got the best of him and they never left the bedroom.

            Indeed there was work to be done.

 

            “You could’ve told me we were going to visit Tommy.” Louise didn’t look up from her journal. Her pen scratching against the parchment filling the space between her and Alfie.

            He furrowed his eyebrows. “In the area, weren’t we?”

            She let out a low hum. Those around Alfie knew that he lied by omission. “Should’ve realized.”

            “Well, s’fucking nice to be out in fresh air, innit? Thought you might want to see the horses he’s got.” Alfie was far more comfortable having her with him than leaving her alone at the bakery. Or perhaps he used his pointless worry as an excuse to have her along. She was the only one who could calm his nerves. And if the whispers around London were true then he was going to desperately need some calming down.

            “I’m not arguing. I’m just saying your secretary should be aware of your business exchanges.” Her eyes glanced up at him. “For business purposes.”

            “Just dropping in for a chat, yeah? Catch up with a dear friend. Nothing that needs to be written down.”

            Louise closed her journal. “I’ll never understand you completely, Alfie Solomons.”

            “Well, you’re probably the person who’s ever going to get the closest, Lou. Just afraid you won’t fucking like what you find.” The car pulled up the gravel drive and stopped in front of the stately manor.

            “You’ll have to try a little harder to scare me off.” She leaned forward to kiss his cheek before exiting the car.

 

            Since Louise had only stopped at the door, she was keen to see the inside of the Arrow House. Like most wealthy estates, including the one she grew up in, it was filled with expensive décor, trinkets, and detail. The rooms were spacious; impossible to heat completely so there was always a cold empty feeling in the winter months. A heavy sadness filled the space and it hardly felt like a home, more a museum of secretive grief.

            As they were let in, Louise noticed the large portrait of what was once the Shelby family. Tommy and Grace proudly holding their young son. It was hard to believe such a beautiful young woman was taken from the Earth so violently. A shadow of a thought crossed her mind.

            What if she ended up the same way?

 

            “Good morning Mr. Solomons. Miss Barnes”

            Louise sat in front of the large desk while Alfie lingered by the window. She offered Tommy a polite smile, it had been the first time she’d seen him since he lost Grace. It was obvious the loss affected him deeply and Louise couldn’t blame him.

            Alfie rambled on about the home while Tommy poured himself a drink. Louise tried to warn Alfie beforehand to behave since the man had become a widower so recently. But you couldn’t change habits in one day.

            She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and gave Alfie a discontent look. “Your housekeeper said you weren’t supposed to be drinking, Mr. Shelby.” It was hard not to be concerned about the man.

            Tommy just shook his head.

            Alfie walked over to him. “Right, she said you’re suffering from so many ancient injuries from your sporting life that your head is like some sort of smashed vase stuck together by a horse.”

            “Alfie.” Louise scolded sternly.

            “S’alright, Louise.” Tommy waved her off and slowly sat down next to her. “Always the man of many words, isn’t he?”

            “Something like that.” She sighed.

            “Lou, why don’t you go out ‘n see the horses, eh?” Alfie touched her shoulder. “Get some air?”

            She knew when she was to leave so men could talk business so she stood up. “I would like to see the grounds.”

            “That’s fine, in fact, Madeline?” He called.

            A few moments later, a young woman walked in. “Yes, Mr. Shelby?”

            “Would you mind taking Charlie out for a walk and show Miss Barnes around the grounds?” Tommy asked.

            “Of course.” The redhead nodded and smiled at Louise.

            Before leaving, Louise bent down to whisper in Alfie’s ear. “You be respectful. He’s obviously grieving.”

            He grunted in response as she kissed his cheek. “Right, take this, getting cold out, innit?” He looped his scarf around her neck.

            She smiled slightly and followed Madeline out of the study.

 

            Charlie Shelby was a lovely little boy. Shy but overly curious. Louise hadn’t had much experience with children. Being an only child she had no siblings to care for. For a long time, she found she was jealous when she saw a mother with her child. Louise longed to have children but Daniel made her feel worthless. Now she wondered if there would ever be a time she and Alfie could have a child.

            Of course, there were steel barriers along that path. Would it be too dangerous to raise a child in such a life? Would Alfie even want children? Even if they reached the point of agreement, what if Daniel had been right along? What if she was incapable of bearing children?

            It was a tough pill to swallow.

            Still, it was fun spending time with the joyful little boy. Charlie was blissfully unaware of the life his family lived. He was cradled in the wealth of his family, much too young to understand any of it.

            She hardly even realized how time had passed so quickly. It was far too entertaining to watch the little boy toddle around the stables. He stuck his pudgy hand in the watering troughs to poke at the goldfish, tugged dandelions out of the ground, and pointed at the horses in the paddocks.

 

            After agreeing to aid Tommy in part of the jewelry heist, Alfie walked outside to find Louise. He stopped short when he found her sitting in the tall grass with Charlie and Madeline. The young boy had warmed up to her and giggled as she made silly faces to entertain him.

            The man was struck by how natural she appeared. His stomach knotted up when he saw the motherly demeanor. She looked so happy.

            Alfie told her that he would give her anything. Anything at all. But he wasn’t sure what he would do if she requested a family with him. It was hardly a life for a child to live in. And he highly doubted his ability to be a father. He sighed deeply and continued walking towards her. It wasn’t the time to think about children or disappointing Louise. Dangerous work was ahead of him and he had to do everything he could to keep it secret from her.


	16. Chapter 16

            Louise knew there was something weighing on Alfie’s mind. For days, he was much quieter than usual. It was unsettling to say the least because she couldn’t pinpoint his exact emotion. He wasn’t angry or he’d be ranting and raving at anyone within earshot. He wasn’t worried because he’d be trying his best to act cool, calm, and collected. No, it was something entirely new. And yet, he said he was perfectly fine when she questioned him.

            Then, one night, he pulled his coat on after dinner. Louise and Evelyn were standing at the sink finishing the dishes.

            “Where are you off to, then Mr. Solomons?” The maid asked.

            Louise looked over, a towel in hand. “Alfie?”

            He seemed uneasy and not keen on a discussion. It appeared he had tried to slip out without them even knowing. “Be back late.” He replied gruffly but circumvented the actual question.

            “Alfie, where are you going?” Louise repeated Evelyn.

            His blue eyes focused on buttoning his waistcoat and checking the time. “Business, love.”

            “Business? At this hour?”

            “No need to worry. S’nothing bad.” He promised but of course, most of his dealings could be classified as bad to the common onlooker.

            Louise chewed on her lip. She was obviously worried about his lack of detail but couldn’t stop him. “Okay. Be safe.” Her voice was weak with reluctant complacency.

            He glanced up at her, a hint of guilt crossing his face. A soft sigh slipped out his lips and he walked into the kitchen. He kissed her gently almost as an apology. “Goodnight, see you in the morning.” He murmured and donned his hat before leaving.

            Evelyn returned to the washing but Louise was gripped with discomfort. “He’s keeping something from me.” She said to the young woman.

            “He would never be unfaithful to you, Louise,” Evelyn assured her. “He’d be lost without you.”

            “I’m not worried about that, Lyn. I’m worried he’s getting himself into something dangerous.” She admitted. “And I think it has something to do with the Shelbys.”

 

 

            It was nearly three in the morning when Alfie finally returned back to London. He did his best to stay quiet while entering the flat but the creaking stairs gave him away. He saw the lamp on under their bedroom door, the light filtering into the hallway.

            Alfie opened the door and found Louise in bed, still awake. Cyril stood guard by the bed and a low growl emerged before he realized it was his master returning home.

            “Lou, why’re you still up?” He asked and patted Cyril.

            She sat up, the quilts over her knees, her arms tucking them to her chest. “I couldn’t sleep. I was…” Her voice left off at the end.

            Alfie cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the guilt building up inside of him. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped into bed with her. “You were what, love?”

            “I was concerned. You didn’t really say where you were going and I thought something might happen to you.” She admitted.

            He leaned on his side, propping his cheek up to look at her. “I’m alright, ain’t I? I’m here now so you can go to sleep.”

            She merely stared at him in disappointment. Surely she thought he would sympathize with her anxiety. She could recall the times he had to leave for a day or two and had men watching the flat just in case. And of course the time he nearly blew a fuse when she visited the Shelbys. It wasn’t fair she couldn’t have it the same way. “Where were you?”

            “I had some business to attend to at Hampton Court.” Maybe if he gave her a definitive location she would be satisfied.

            But no, Louise only got more uneasy. “Hampton Court?” Her eyebrow shot up. “What in the world were you doing in Hampton Court?” She couldn’t even fathom what Alfie would need to do at the royal palaces and aristocratic manors of the area.

            He licked his bottom lip and tried to think of something to tell her without getting her worked up. “A favor for Tommy.”

            Louise was starting to get the idea that maybe she should be a little more wary of the Shelbys like Alfie had initially said. “What sort of favor?”

            Alfie groaned and ran a weary hand over his face. “Lou, I don’t know what to tell you.”

            “What happened?” She gasped and grabbed his wrists. A faint rope burn marked his wrists.

            “Nothing, love, it’s okay.”

            “I don’t appreciate you lying to me, Alfred Solomons.” She retorted strongly. Her thumbs grazing over the discoloration on his skin.

            He closed his eyes and tried to just focus on her touch. He wanted to put the whole evening behind him but knew Louise wouldn’t let it go until he was honest. “Don’t know what happened in that accident but I tell ya, Tommy’s fucking head, it in’t right anymore. He’s been getting himself into bad dealings.” Alfie figured if he could place some partial blame on Tommy, Louise would let him off the hook.

            “And?”

            “And I promised I would help him with something small.”

            “Alfie…” Louise’s shoulders deflated when she realized her suspicions were correct.

            “It weren’t anything bad. He just asked me to help him price some jewelry.” He defended his actions. “That’s all I promised to do.”

            “For who? Whose jewelry?”

            A look of distaste wrinkled his face. “Russians.” He spoke the word with such venom. “Wish I could fucking wring that little man’s neck.”

            Louise lay down beside him. She could see the obvious anger in his face. There was no telling who these Russians were and what sort of hand they had in killing most of Alfie's family and friends. “What is he doing with Russians?”

            “Robbing ‘em.” Alfie closed his eyes and let out a tired yawn. “But my part is over and done with. It’s all up to him now.”

            She curled up to his side. Of course, she was concerned about what sort of danger Alfie was possibly putting himself in this time around. Nothing was ever as straight forward as he claimed it was. But, he was clearly tired and she felt he had been honest with her. It was too late to keep pressing the matter “Next time, just be honest with me. That's all I want from you. I don't like you covering things up, you can't keep them bottled up inside you.”

            “I know, love.” He mumbled, only moments from falling asleep.

            “I love you.” She murmured and kissed his shoulder before closing her eyes as well.

            He wouldn’t tell her about his own separate plans to take advantage of the knowledge he now had. But he had a feeling it would come to bite him later. Most things did.

 

           

            The next morning, Louise was satisfied to truly know why Alfie had been acting so strange. Sensing it was over; she was ready to get back to their normal routine. It was Sabbath so there was no work to be done. Of course, Alfie would get some paperwork done in his private study even though the bakery was closed. Even god must’ve done some inventory of his creations while resting.

            But for now, he was content to stay in bed with Louise. He was basking in the sun coming in through the window, indulging in the warmth from her petite form pressed against him. The soft sighs and breaths were like music to him, drowning out the filthy London streets below. She was his personal escape, a vacation amid the city.

            It only got better when she opened her eyes and smiled up at him. Her hazel eyes glimmering with warmth. Truly, he was being rewarded for his honesty the night before, because she grazed her lips over his ear as she uttered his name.

            “Alfie…”

            “Yes, love?”

            “Make love to me.”

            The breathy neediness sent him reeling. There was no need to ask twice. He instantly moved to pepper her body with kisses. Touching every birthmark, freckle, and curve of her body. He spent a considerable amount of time between her thighs, bringing her to the edge of climax only to back off and relish in her whimpers of desperation. Finally, he couldn’t hold her back anymore and dug his fingers into her hips as she rode out the orgasm.

            “Alfie…” She shivered through the tremors and tugged on his hair to earn a groan.

            He raised himself up to kiss her cheek. His body protested though and he braced against his forearms. “Fuck, me hip.” He cursed as the movement aggravated his nerves and shot sharp pains up and down his legs and back.

            Her forehead wrinkled in concern. “Do you want to stop? It's okay if you need to.” She murmured and stroked his face.

            “Not a chance in hell.” He held her hips and rolled them over so she was straddling his waist. “Just gonna have to improvise, that's all.”

            Louise grinned and kissed him so hard their lips almost bruised. He kissed back eagerly and lined herself up to her so she could slowly slide down onto him. Alfie moaned and felt his stomach clench at the sight of her on top of him. “Fucking hell.” He dragged out the words and quickly slipped off her nightgown so he could see all of her. Her soft skin warming in the morning sunlight.

            She tipped forward, her hips bucking faster to try and reach the high she craved. Her face buried into the crook of his neck.

            “Easy, love.” He murmured and tightened his grip on her to slow her movements. “No need to rush. We've got all morning, don't we?”

            “Not fair, I was close.” She whined in protest but didn’t fight against him. They moved fluidly together, able to find a slow burning sensation. Louise felt like her skin was scorching as electric pulses hit her nerves. There was no room in her body for rational thought. She was too overcome with utter desire and adoration for her lover.

            Alfie craved the control he had over her while still being vulnerable. It was exhilarating to listen to her pleading for release and to feel her body reacting so strongly to him. He slowly began to unravel and thrust his hips up to make sure she was right there with him.

            “Oh!” Louise sat up again as the unexpected wave of pleasure hit her. She threw her head back and her spine locked up. “Alfie!”

            He lost all sense of himself. His brain clicked off and he felt like the universe around him was shattering. He could only see her. His ego, his personality, his esteem meant absolutely nothing.

            “Fuck…” Louise slumped forward against his chest. Her breathing was off-kilter from the overwhelming sensation still lingering.

            They both had to take a minute to compose themselves and gain back basic thought processing.

            “Well, fuck, we’re doing that again.” Alfie chuckled and held her close to him.

            “Definitely.” She panted and smiled against his shoulder. “How’s your hip?”

            “Lou, I think you knocked the sciatica right outta me.” He grinned and ran his fingers down her spine. “Fuck, you’re a gift from above.”

            Louise raised her head and pecked his lips. “So are you. You’re my angel.” She stood up to wash off a bit in the bathroom.

            Alfie wasn’t sure about that but he didn’t correct her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for violence and language (as if it wasn't bad enough)

            Alfie took pride in the fact he was trying to control his temper. He wasn’t very successful but at least he tried. When it came to punishments, he did everything to keep it out of sight of Louise. She would witness the occasional backhand or cane whack to the knees but that was it. Her dealings in the bakery were purely administrative. The shadiness and the blood never involved her.

            Unfortunately, things were coming to a boiling point. The Italians were suspicious of Tommy's relationship with the Russians as well as the Peaky Blinder’s feud with the Changrettas. So, Sabini reached out to Alfie, attempting to bury the hatchet yet again and hopefully gain the alliance back in case the Shelbys made a move.

            Alfie wasn’t in the mood, but he decided it could be helpful to at least hear Darby out.

 

            “One last thing, Tommy called about something. He says it’s urgent. I guess he wants to meet as soon as you can.” Louise kept in stride with Alfie, her arm linked with his. “I said maybe you could meet with him tomorrow morning.” She handed him the note for a reminder.

            “Right,” Alfie tucked the slip of paper away in his pocket. “I’ll call him back later tonight.” He stopped mid-way down the cellar hall and turned to face her. “You’re the fucking best, d’you know that” His eyes wrinkled with a smile, adoration in his gaze.

            “For answering the telephone?” Louise teased with a coy smile. She stepped closer to him, smoothing down his loose white shirt.

            “Nah, just for everything.” He murmured and kissed her forehead. “Love having you ‘round.” His thumb grazed down her cheek. The brief tender touch sent chills down Louise’s spine.

            “Alfie.” Ollie’s voice came from down the hall. A group of men was following behind him.

            Louise had never met Darby Sabini simply because Alfie kept her away from any meetings with him. Yet, he had no power over what happened next.

            “Alfie,” A mustached man greeted as they approached. “So glad you agreed to sit down with me. I’ve missed you, old friend.”

            Louise could feel Alfie tense up beside her. “Lou, go upstairs.” He muttered to her.

            She opened her mouth to speak but the Italian men were blocking the only exit to the stairs. So she had no choice but to stay near him.

            “And this must be the secretary you’ve kept hidden from me. I’ve heard the word about how protective he is of you.” Sabini tipped his hat to her. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet.”

            Louise tried to ignore Alfie’s clear displeasure. Instead, to keep the peace, she smiled politely. “Louise Barnes, it’s nice to meet you as well.

            “Alfie, how could you keep such a beauty locked up in a place like this?” The Italian tutted. The two men at his flanks sported faint smirks. One was eyeing Louise too much for Alfie’s liking.

            His upper lip twitched and he waited a beat so he didn’t explode. “You want to fucking talk business? Or are you wasting me time?” No matter what he did, the anger continued to grow the longer they stood there. The more time they spent with Louise the more uneasy he got. Tension was thick in the air and he knew something was up.

            “I should be off anyway.” Louise tucked the diary under her arm. She touched his shoulder to offer some sort of comfort and courage to keep his cool. “I’ll just be upstairs.”

            “No, no.” Sabini waved a dismissive hand. “You can stay.”

            The man to his left smirked. “ _Yeah, we want to look at her during the meeting instead of Solomon’s fucked up face.”_ He spoke to his partner in Italian. He didn’t bother to speak quietly because he wasn’t aware of Louise’s grasp on the romance languages.

            Louise narrowed her eyes. “Pardon me?” She spoke with venom in her voice.

            The man furrowed his eyebrows, obviously not considering the possibility she could understand him.

            “Don’t you dare speak about him like that.” She snapped. “ _He is more a man than you ever will be.”_ She shot back.

            Alfie couldn’t help but smirk a little. “Looks like you fucked up, mate.” He drawled. “She knows more languages than you know words.”

            Disgruntled, the man’s hand twitched but Ollie had already confiscated their weapons. Sabini sighed. “This is about you and me, Alfie. Now I’m hearing you’ve gone weak because of a woman.”

            Alfie gripped his cane tightly and tilted his head to the side. “Be foolish to think I’m weak now.” He cocked an eyebrow. “See, I know things, right, things ‘bout Tommy Shelby that you don’t. Things that could fucking ruin him, mate.” He gave a faux sigh of burden. “But since Tommy’s such an old friend I think I’ll honor his secrecy.” He ignored the curious side-eye that Louise gave him at the mention of a Shelby secret.

            It was Darby’s turn to get riled up. “You’d protect those fucking savages? Let them come into London and muck about like they own the place?” He demanded, his face growing an unhealthy shade of red. “Those gypsies need to be dealt with!” He said in a warning tone.

            “They do, yeah.” Alfie lazily ran his hand over his beard. “But I’ll be doing that on me own, won’t I? Don’t need you, ‘specially not after your men insult both me and me dear Louise.”

            Sabini stood there fuming for a few moments. Then his eyes shifted to Louise. She tried to hold her ground but his cold stare was crippling. She subtly moved closer to Alfie to reassure herself. “Y’know, it’s a shame.” Darby’s voice evened out again and he began to look smug. “Some men believe they have no weakness. They think they’re invincible. But men like that usually fall the hardest. Do you agree, Miss Barnes?”

            Louise swallowed but couldn’t speak. She wasn’t sure exactly what Sabini was getting at, but she had a gut feeling. It had something to do with her.

            “What do you think would happen to Alfie Solomons if something were to happen to his Achilles Heel?”

            Alfie lost it. Ollie and Louise had to hold him back from attacking the man. “You fucking threatening her?” He roared. “You absolute cunt, I’ll put you six-feet-under if you even think about hurting her. I’ll fucking rip your fucking guts out, fucking cut your head off and stick you on a fucking pike!” His threats echoed through the narrow cellar hall. “Then I’ll move onto the next of you fucking wops!”

            A few of Alfie’s men ushered the Italians back upstairs and out of the building.

            Alfie reached behind him for his gun tucked in his waistband. His hand shaking violently.

            “No, no, no!” Louise grabbed his wrist when she saw what he was doing. “You’ll only make things worse.” She dug her fingernails into his skin so he wouldn’t fight against her.

            Alfie was in such a state of rage he could hardly hear her. He stared at the stairs where the Italians had just disappeared. His temper got the better of him and he wanted to follow Sabini and blow his brains all over the bakery.

            “Alfie, stop!” Louise and Ollie had to keep pushing him back. “Go!” She shoved him towards the empty cellar and slammed the door behind them. Ollie stood by the door just in case Alfie wanted to make another attempt at following Sabini.

            “Those fucking Italians…I swear…” His words slurred together from the white-hot anger coursing through his veins like strong alcohol.

            “Sit down.” Louise pulled his gun out of his waistband and emptied the bullets onto the table.

            “He’s going to fucking pay…” He kept pacing and ranting.

            “Alfie, sit down.” She dragged a chair out. “Now!” Her voice overpowered his and bounced off the stone walls.

            The man grumbled but sat down. His hands continued to shake, itching to strangle the life out of Darby.

            “Look at me.” Louise knelt down in front of him. She latched her hands around his wrists like shackles. “Alfie, look at me.” She urged again.

            He finally let his eyes fall on her. “He’s going to try an’ use you against me.” His gruff voice started to lose its ear-shattering volume. “I knew this would happen, I thought I could be more careful but I was fucking foolish to…”

            “They wouldn’t dare do anything of the sort.” Louise let go of one of his wrists to touch his cheek, directing his eyes back to her. “Sh, love, just take a deep breath.” She murmured.

            He couldn’t muster up the strength. His heart was beating unbearably against his chest. Fear mixed with anger caused his stomach to twist up in knots. “Just like fucking Tommy Shelby.”

            “No.” She interrupted him again. “That’s not going to happen. They know what the Shelbys are doing to the Changretta’s, Sabini wouldn’t make that mistake.” Whether or not she believed that or had any merit to speak on it wasn’t the issue. Louise was confident in Alfie’s ability to protect her.

            Alfie reached out and took her face in his hands. His blue eyes studying her beautiful features. He would never let someone take her away from him, especially not a rat like Sabini. “C’mere.” He stood and went for the door.

            Louise held the empty gun just to keep it away from him as he cooled off. They returned upstairs and Alfie brought her to his office. She closed the door behind her and went into his desk.

            “Alfie!” She snapped when she saw him draw out another gun.

            “Calm down, s’not for me.” He set it on the desk. “M’giving it to you. Gotta teach you how to defend yourself, right?”

            Louise stared at the loaded revolver. “I don’t know if I want to carry that around.” She said quietly.

            “I need you to. Give me peace of mind.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

            She walked over and set the empty gun on the desk too. “Alright, but only because you want me to. And I’ll probably never have to use it.”

            “Rather you carry it and never use it than need it and not have it.” He nodded curtly.

            She stopped in front of him and touched his cheek. Every inch of him was so familiar. She internally scoffed at the idea that anyone would think he wasn’t beautiful. To her, Alfie was gorgeous. And he was hers.

 

            Alfie didn’t want her to know how worried he was about Sabini’s cryptic threat. He started taking precautions where he found necessary. Since they were living together, it was easier to assure her safety. But there were moments when he was uneasy. If he had to leave for longer than a few hours, Alfie made sure she was well guarded even if Louise didn’t realize it. He wouldn’t skimp on protection if it meant keeping her safe.

            But he couldn’t always be there especially if Louise made her own decisions.

            That night, Louise realized she’d forgot her scarf at the bakery. She decided to return to retrieve it. Alfie was working late and hadn’t eaten either so she parceled up a dinner to bring.

            The sun was gone and the stars had just started to weakly speckle over the city. Camden had become so familiar to her now; she accepted it as her home. Her sense of security was shattered just a moment later when she heard someone come up behind her.

            Before she could look back, rough hands grabbed her. A cloth muffled her scream as she was dragged into a nearby alleyway. She was shoved to the damp ground, her hands and knees scraping against the stones.

            “Scream and I’ll cut that pretty little face right off ya.” The man snarled with a sinister grin. “Louise Barnes, right?”

            Terrified, she slowly nodded. A Surrey girl raised in the protection of wealth never thought she would be subjected to such violence. She wasn’t taught to fight. Some of her friends knew how to fire a gun purely for sport. The first time she saw such violence was from Daniel. But she felt too weak to fight back. Only a few times, when Daniel was staggering drunk, was she able to defend herself. Then, under Alfie’s protection, she’d felt safe again. She let her guard down and even stopped wearing the knife on her thigh. She wasn’t worried something like that would happen to her. Once she saw the glint in the blade, she realized how naïve she really was. Dread and the fear of death soaked into her skin like a sickness.

            “My boss has been looking for you.” He informed her and grabbed her by the hair.

            Louise bit back a yelp of pain as he yanked her to her feet.

            “You’ll make me some good money once I bring you to him.” The man traced the blade’s tip over her cheek. “It’s all business, love, Sabini just needs a little something from Solomons.”

            So Alfie had been right. Louise started to cry, shaking in fear. She had been so sure she was protected.

            “But you might be fun to play with ‘fore I hand you over.” He dragged the knife down and to Louise’s horror; he started to cut the clothes off her.

            No.

            Her mind returned to a night when Daniel forced himself on her. He stunk of gin and his hands were too rough. She yelled at him to get off but he didn’t. So she reacted in the only way she knew how.

            The instincts returned back to her and she sharply kneed the man in the groin. He cursed and doubled over in pain.

            It gave her enough time and space to react. Ever since Sabini’s threat, she carried the revolver per Alfie’s request. Her hands shook as she retrieved the gun from the holster on her thigh and pointed it at the man.

            He straightened up after the pain subsided and laughed when he saw her gun. “You think you know how to use that, love?” He taunted and lunged at her.

            It was a blur. Louise pulled the trigger.

            The humor slipped right off his face. The bullet lodged through his chest. Blood started to spread through his shirt and he collapsed to his knees. A blank look of shock overcame his features.

            Her ears rang. In a panic, she ran from the alley straight to the bakery. Wide-eyed, her dress in tatters, she rushed inside.

            Ollie was nearby and dropped everything to meet her by the doors. “What happened?”

            Louise just shook her head. She had no idea how to form the words.

            The young man turned and called for his boss. Once he heard the alarming yell, Alfie left his office.

            A sickening feeling overwhelmed him when he saw Louise standing there with a loaded gun in her hand and another man’s blood spattered on her face and

“Lou…” He hurried over to her.

            The words came out without warning. “I just killed someone.” She blurted. “I shot someone. I just shot someone.” The rambling mess came out too fast for her to process.

            “Okay, tell me what happened.” He carefully took the gun out of her trembling hands. He handed it to Ollie who tucked it into a handkerchief.

            “He said Sabini wanted me. He tried…he tried raping me.” Fresh tears sprung to her eyes. “I didn’t know what to do.” Her knees buckled so badly she thought she would collapse.

            Alfie enveloped her in his arms to keep her upright. “Sh, s’okay love. You did the right thing.” His voice quivered with anger. Sabini had just made a deadly mistake.

            Louise sobbed in his arms, her fingers curled around his shirt. “I killed someone. I killed him.”

            Alfie rubbed her back and motioned for Ollie. “Go find him.” He commanded in a hushed whisper. “If he’s dead, go dump him on Farringdon to send that fucker a message. If he’s alive, you bring him back here.”

            Ollie nodded and left with a few other men.

            Alfie scooped Louise up and brought her to his office. “I’ve gotcha, love.” He whispered and sat at his desk. She curled up in his lap and refused to let go of him. He wasn’t sure what else to say to her. His brain was spinning at the idea she was nearly ripped away from him just like Grace Shelby had been taken from Tommy. He was so angry he didn’t know how to articulate it or even act. He could only hold her to reassure himself that she was still there.

 

            A little while later, Ollie came to the office. “Sir.”

            Alfie looked up and could see it in his face. He nodded. “Get Ishmael, have him bring the car ‘round. Take Louise home, I want four men in front of the flat. Make sure Evelyn doesn’t go out either. I don’t know who else Sabini will go after.”

           

            Alfie carried Louise to the car and promised she would be okay if she let go of him. He kissed her cheek and said Evelyn would take care of her until he returned home. Ishmael and Ollie drove her back to the flat while he went back to the bakery. He descended to the cellar and found the man bound and gagged. His gunshot wound was still bleeding and his front was completely soaked. He looked delirious from the pain.

            Alfie rolled up his sleeves and stepped towards the man. Rage built up when he saw the scrawny man who tried to attack his Louise. He lifted his cane and pressed it right against the gun wound. The man screamed and thrashed about in agony.

            “Oh fuck, does that hurt?” The gangster faked concern. “Sorry, mate.” He eased up on the wound. “Tell me who you work for.”

            “Sabini.” The man coughed up a bit of blood. “Please, call an ambulance.” He begged.

            “Yeah, alright, an ambulance.” Alfie chuckled darkly. “After what you’ve done? Mate, you’re going to wish for death once I’m done with you.” He cracked his knuckles. “It’s gonna be a long night for you.”


	18. Chapter 18

            Louise sat on the edge of the bed waiting anxiously for Alfie to return home. Evelyn called the bakery out of worry for Louise’s sake, but no one answered. All the young woman could do was bring tea to her and assure her Alfie knew what he was doing. What he _was_ doing was up in the air. Polly had been partially right about one thing, Alfie was dangerously unhinged when his loved ones were threatened.

            Louise wasn’t worried about his safety; he was secure in his bakery, armed with his gun and rage. She was worried about what would happen after the Italians found out about the death. Now that Alfie knew Sabini was actively trying to extort him for the Shelby information, the game had changed. Sabini was clever in figuring out Louise was Alfie’s weak spot, but he was foolish for trying to use her as a bargaining chip.

            Finally, long past midnight, Alfie arrived home. He’d done his best to wash up before leaving the bakery. He didn’t want Louise seeing him drenched in his crimes.

            He entered quietly and approached Evelyn in the kitchen. She jolted upon seeing her boss in such a state.

            “Goodness, Mr. Solomons!” She pressed a hand to her heart. “Are you hurt?”

            He shook his head and started to unbutton the bloodied shirt. “Get me a clean one, will ya? Don’t tell Lou I’m here yet.”

            Shaken, Evelyn nodded and hurried upstairs. Alfie examined his arms and chest to see some residual blood left behind. He grabbed a cloth from the kitchen counter to wipe it away.

            Evelyn returned and handed him the clean shirt. He chucked the bloody one and told her to turn in for the night. He went upstairs and Louise stood upon hearing his heavy footsteps. He came into the doorway, giving her worries a bit of a break. 

            “Alfie…” Her voice was broken.

            “Sh, I’ve taken care of it.” He enveloped her in his arms. There was no need to talk about the fate of the man that had tried to violate her. He was on Farringdon Road, barely recognizable, and a blade driven into his heart. He was nothing more than a message to Sabini now. But Alfie couldn’t kill a man to heal Louise’s emotional wounds. It didn’t work with Daniel and it wouldn’t work a second time around. It was unbelievably frustrating to Alfie that he was helpless to ease her pain.

            “What’s going to happen?” Louise had exhausted her tears. Her whole body ached with anxiety and dread. She wasn’t sure exactly what she’d done or what it would start. "What are they going to do to us?" 

            “Tomorrow, Ishmael will bring you and Lyn to Margate. You’ll be safer there.” He completely avoided the question about the war. He promised her a long time ago that she wouldn’t be involved in that part of his life. Sabini may have tried to involve her but Alfie refused to. If he had to send her across the ocean to keep her safe, he would. Even if the separation caused him deep pain. Her safety always came first. 

            Her fingers curled around his clean shirt. “No, I’m not leaving you to face this alone.”

            “This ain’t your fight, love. Not gonna let that rat use you as a pawn.”

            “I don’t want you getting hurt while I’m somewhere else.” She didn’t want to think about the possibility of death. But, if push came to shove, Louise would much rather be by her lover’s side as he died than being miles away and hearing of his death from a messenger. She would hold his hand if he ever left her. 

            “M’not arguing ‘bout this, Lou. You being here, yeah, it’s dangerous for everyone. I need to settle this but I need to know you’re safe while I’m doing that.” He replied firmly. His eyes slid closed and he rested in the crook of her neck. “I’m tired, love.” He whispered.

            Louise’s lower lip quivered as she wrapped her arms around him. “I know, I’m sorry.”

            He blindly shuffled with her to bed. She didn’t ease up, keeping him in her arms. Shock still saturated her blood and there was a mental block forbidding her to think about the worst of outcomes.

 

            Margate wasn’t as beautiful with Alfie’s absence. Even Cyril seemed less enthused by the beach and ocean. Evelyn tried to keep good company but she couldn’t offer any information. The only indication that Alfie was alive and well were the letters brought to her by his men. He didn’t run the risk of visiting, afraid Italians would track him to Margate and put Louise in danger.

            It became clear after the first cycle of letters that Alfie wasn’t going to tell her any details regarding Sabini. He ignored her questions and talked mindlessly about other matters. Rather than waste the ink, Louise instead wrote about the books she was reading, the shells she found on the beach, the tricks Evelyn was teaching Cyril, and how much she missed him.

            _I worry for your men because I feel I balance you. I know this because you balance me. Without you hear I feel incomplete. To think I’ve lived my life before you and now I cannot imagine doing so again. I only ask one thing from you. Think of me before you go to sleep because I’ll be thinking of you._

            _Love always,_

_Lou_

 

            Alfie’s anger was not to be tested. With the constant reminder of Louise in the back of his mind, he took extreme actions. Any Italian caught in Camden Town was either killed on sight or brought back to the bakery to be tortured for information. After the sixth body was found on Farringdon, Sabini sent a telegram searching for compromise. Things in the British underworld was getting more dangerous. Word about the Shelbys and the Russians were getting louder. Whatever Alfie had on Tommy wasn’t affecting him. Sabini weighed his options. It was unclear whether Alfie’s information would even put a dent in Tommy Shelby. The man seemed untouchable those days.

            Alfie sent back a courteous “fuck you” and shot another one of Darby’s men in broad daylight. The Shelbys wouldn't distract him. He wasn't afraid of them. 

            Things were getting hairier and it didn’t do anything to the Shelbys. Messages from America began to come in from the Changrettas. Luca was ready to cross the pond and put an end to Tommy and the rest of his kin. Now he was looking for alliances in London. It was unknown what Alfie was doing behind the scenes, but Sabini didn't want to risk losing the Changrettas as an ally if the Jews decided to help Luca kill Tommy. The Shelbys might have wanted to start a war with the Changrettas, but Sabini did not. 

            Sabini decided to lay everything down. The war between the Changrettas and the Shelbys was already gruesome enough. He’d lost seven men and he wasn’t looking to lose anyone or anything else to Alfie, Tommy, or Luca when he arrived. So he rolled out the white flag.        

            They negotiated, and despite Alfie’s anger, they came to an understanding, albeit it, a fragile one. Ollie set it in ink; any Italian that came within a twenty-foot radius of Louise Barnes would be shot on sight. Darby laughed, thinking the man was either kidding or flat out crazy. But Alfie was dead serious. He placed a gun on the table and pointed to Ollie.

            “Write it down.”

 

            The next morning, Alfie traveled out to Margate after the month-long battle. He intended to surprise Louise who was resigning herself to another week of being without him.

            He left his cane in the cottage and walked stiffly through the dunes to the beach. Louise was standing there, watching Cyril prancing about in the ocean. The winds were strong enough to tug at her skirt and hair, threatening to push her right over.

            “S’fucking cold out here. Do you really like the ocean this much to stand out here in the wind?” Alfie called out to her.

            Louise spun around and a look of joyful shock struck her face. Her hazel eyes warmed up at his sight and she ran to him.

            He laughed as she jumped into his arms. He had to catch himself to falling backwards, his strong arms holding her up by her thighs. “Hello, love.” He murmured and inhaled her jasmine perfume, now mixed with the scent of sea salt. Her warmth infused in his veins again and he felt complete yet again. 

            “Don’t ever leave me again, Alfie Solomons.” She replied firmly. “Not for this long.”

            “Trust me, Lou, I don’t plan on it.” He set her down on the ground and greeted Cyril who galloped across the sand towards them. “I missed you too, you mutt.” He tousled the mastiff's ears. 

            Louise smiled and took in his figure to make sure he was completely unharmed. Thankfully, he seemed unscathed and generally of good health. He looked tired but she knew she did as well. “I missed you.”

            Alfie smiled and took Louise’s hand. He raised it and kissed her knuckles. “I know. I missed you too.” He murmured. “But everything’s fine now, innit? Yeah, nothing more to worry ‘bout.” Of course, the Shelbys were another story but he thought he could keep a good enough distance from that mess. He would play his cards right when need be. Now he just wanted to indulge in Louise's presence again. 

            Her eyes burned in the sun as it hung over the water. The waves bled into different colors, melting into the horizon. The brisk wind picked up again and rustled the dune grass around them. “I can come home?” She asked hopefully. 

            “Of course.”

            Relief retired from her shoulders and there was nothing left but adoration for the man standing in front of her. “Good. It's beautiful here but I don't want to be without you another night.”

            “Lou…I need to tell you something. ‘Specially after all this, it needs saying, don’t it?” Alfie took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. “So bear with me, love.” He gave a sheepish smile and kept his hand fidgeting in his pocket. “I didn’t know what I was missing, yeah, ‘til you came into my life. I fucking couldn’t imagine having someone like you. Thought I was too…bad. But you, yeah, you see something else. And you,” He swallowed and chuckled. “Well you’re perfect, ain’t ya? You make me a better person, you balance me, just like you said.”

            “Alfie,” Her eyes watered as he spoke candidly to her. He certainly wasn’t Shakespeare but it was genuine. It was truly her Alfie.

            “Forgive me for this, might take me a while.” He cleared his throat and braced himself as one knee lowered to the sand. He grunted at the discomfort from his hip. “Fucking worst position, but I’d walk through fire for you.”

            When Louise realized what was about to happen, the tears began to fall. The amount of shock was too much for her heart to handle and she thought she would fall over. She became light-headed as he uttered those words.

            “Louise Mae Barnes,” Alfie looked up at her. His blue eyes earnest and hopeful as he removed a small box from his coat pocket. He popped it open to show her the sapphire ring. “Will you marry me?”

            Louise choked out a stunned giggle. “Yes, of course, yes, yes!” She tackled him to the sand, kissing him deeply. Joy passed between their lips, sealing the engagement. Her fingers grazed over his face, every inch etched into her brain. 

            Cyril barked and tried to figure out what they were doing. He eventually stuck his droopy face in between them, giving them both slobbery kisses to break them apart.

            “Fuck off, ya mutt.” Alfie nudged him away. 

            Louise laughed breathlessly and eased off her fiancee. “Is your hip alright? Sorry, I got a little carried away.” She knelt beside him. 

            “S’fine, Too happy to feel anything.” He grinned and sat up in the sand. He ran a hand through his hair with a look of disbelief. "Here..." He retrieved the ring box that had fallen in their frenzied happiness. He slipped the ring on her finger, the dazzling sapphire glittering in the sun. "Figured sapphire is sort of our thing, innit? You were wearing that color when I first saw you, yeah, first realized how I felt." 

            She bit her lip, the wind drying the joyful tears against her cheeks. "It's beautiful...I love you so much." She stammered, too happy to find the words to express herself completely. Where words failed, she made up in her touch, so she kissed him again. The silver band of the ring pressing cold against his cheek.

           It made him smile against her lips. Never in a million years did he expect his path to lead to her. And now she would be his and he’d be hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I just want Alfie to be happy (Tommy too but that's my other fic)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a little carried away. Usually I try not to add too much of the show's original dialogue but honestly, this scene is one of my all time favorites.

            “Fucking all the way out here to give him some bits of paper,” Alfie grumbled under his breath. He’d been complaining about the ‘nerve of Tommy fucking Shelby’ the entire drive to Birmingham.                   

            “I’m sure he has some reason for it.” But Louise wasn’t too sure when they pulled into a mostly abandoned warehouse.

            Tommy stood alone, a sharp look of distrust on his face.

            Louise stepped out with Alfie, trailing behind him. The sound of her heels and Alfie’s cane echoed through the warehouse. It gave her a sinking feeling of dread and uncertainty. She had three pieces of paper tucked away in her coat. She didn’t know what was on them, Alfie had written something out, folded the paper and handed it to her without telling her.

            “I asked you to come alone and unarmed,” Tommy spoke curtly once they stopped in front of him. “You didn’t need to involve her in this.”

            “Well, she’s me secretary, innit she? She keeps the books, Tommy.” Alfie replied casually. “As for the cane, that’s just me sciatica.”

            “He’s unarmed,” Louise confirmed. “I made sure of that.” Indeed she had, tucking her hands into Alfie’s pockets and removing the revolver he had stashed away. He protested but she made him leave it with the driver.

            Tommy dropped the cigarette in his hand, stubbing it out with his expensive shoe. There was once a time when he trusted the woman who had no stake in the game. He’d paid her for protection and he was sure she was grateful. But she had spent too much time with the Jewish gangster. Enough time to lose credibility. “What have you got for me, Alfie?”

            Louise reached into her coat pocket and passed the papers along to Alfie. Tommy spotted the sapphire ring now adorning her left hand. An icy feeling traveled down his spine but he remained quiet.

            “Right, so here are the names of all the men in England whom I would approach, right, if I had a Faberge egg for sale.”

            Louise raised an eyebrow at the name of such an expensive luxury. She could remember her mother talking about the eggs ages ago. Her father playfully remarked that he would indulge her one day with such a gem of a piece. But her mother simply laughed and told him she would much rather a racehorse that would be far less expensive. So he bought her a gorgeous, dapple grey Arabian that very week.

            Now her fiancee was acting like he’d seen one first hand. Knowing Alfie, he probably had.

            “And then,” Alfie continued on, handing Tommy the second paper. “here is all the men on that list, you know, who would buy the egg even if they knew that the item was stolen.”

            Louise closed her eyes for a moment. Things were starting to line up. Alfie had helped Tommy with the Russians’ jewelry but it was far more involved than he had told her. Lying by omission.

            “Here’s a list of the men who would buy a Faberge because of their wives’ obsession.” Alfie finished. “’Bout done here then?” As if to answer his question, Tommy handed him a thick envelope of the promised cash. “Thank you, Mr. Shelby, lovely doing business with you.” He turned to Louise and handed her the money to keep safe. “All set then, love.”

            Louise stared at him, a mixture of disappointment and anger bubbling up to her throat. “You have a lot of explaining to do. I thought-”

            Tommy stopped her from going off. He turned around, pulling out a gun and pointing it at the man. “You left a name off the list, Alfie.”

            “Did I?”

            “I’ve already spoke to my people in the jewelry quarter, experienced dealers.”

            Louise startled and gripped Alfie’s arm. This wasn’t as straightforward of a meeting as she expected.

            “You missed the richest one off the list.” Tommy’s hand was steady.

            Alfie played it cool, as he usually did. But if anyone could tell he was caught in the act, it was his new fiancee. He obviously wasn’t planning for this to happen or he wouldn’t have brought Louise. “Yeah, well, if you knew already how come you dragged me all the fucking way out here, mate?” He protested in a bored voice. He wasn’t afraid for Louise’s safety, Tommy would leave her be. And he was eighty percent sure the Brummie wouldn’t gun him down there. Maybe another time and place, but not there. “Could’ve spared us both the trouble, now couldn’t ya?”

            Tommy’s jaw clenched and his anger was unmistakable. “By withholding a name that you have proven to me that you have done a deal. It was you who told them about the tunnel. You who told them about the fucking deal with the Soviets.”

            Louise’s lips parted. The information just kept building up and she wasn’t sure how she had been so in the dark about it all. “Alfie…” She whispered. “What is he talking about?”

            Alfie was caught between Tommy Shelby and his fiancee. Still, he remained level headed. He could explain everything to Louise when he didn’t have a gun pointed at his face. “Listen, sweetie-”

            No one in the warehouse was in the mood for his typical behavior, least of all Tommy. “You gave information in exchange for a share.”

            “Just leave it, Alfie please.” She whispered and squeezed his arm to try and draw his attention to her. “Tommy, I don’t know what’s going on but whatever it is…”

            He cut her off with a sharp accusation. “You crossed the line, Alfie.”

            “You fucking what?” He spat. He shook Louise’s hand off of him. At that moment he didn’t care what she saw. If she was going to marry him, she was going to marry the man that stood beside her at that moment. There was no picking and choosing.

            “They’re using my boy!” Tommy shouted. Tears formed in his piercing eyes, anger and grief eating him up from the inside out.

            A brief lapse of confusion and concern washed over Alfie’s face. Louise was horrified and couldn’t find the nerve to move. She wasn’t even sure she could talk Tommy down at that point. Charlie was Tommy’s weakness just like she was Alfie’s. She had seen when Sabini threatened her. Alfie had gone ballistic, now Tommy had every right to.

            “Did you fucking know?” Tommy hissed in disbelief.

            “Yeah I knew, you know?” He shrugged and shook his head. “But damned as I am, it made no fucking difference to me, mate!”

            Louise barely had time to move before Tommy wrestled Alfie to the ground. “Tommy, stop!” She cried and looked to the driver who had accompanied him. The Jewish man tried to pull Tommy off when a loud gunshot rang through the warehouse. She screamed and ducked, putting her hands over her head in defense. When the echo died down, she looked up and saw the driver dead on the ground. Her heart leapt to her throat when she saw Michael standing there with a smoking gun in hand.

            Tommy staggered to his feet, blood splattered over his face. He abandoned his gun on the ground and tried to right himself after the scuffle.

            “Oh, for crying out loud!” Alfie barked and stiffly stood up. “What the fuck is going on?”

            Louise was too stunned to even offer to help him up. She slowly lowered and picked up his cane, unsure what else to do.

            But Alfie didn’t seem too bothered by the sudden turn of events. He stormed up to Tommy, getting into his face “What is the matter with you, Tommy, eh? Eh?! You gone fucking angry, ain’t ya?”

            “I got fucking angry!” Tommy wasn’t finished either, it seemed and gladly took on the challenge. In his eyes, the man had sold out his son for a cut of Russian jewels.

            “Alfie, stop.” Louise found her voice again and rushed over to try and pull him away.

            Michael appeared to be on her side as far as trying to break the two angry men apart. “Tommy, I know this bastard deserves it, I fucking know.”

            Tommy didn’t budge, his icy glare driving through Alfie’s skull. His breathing was ragged as he stood his ground. “Michael…”

            Louise did her absolute best to apply her full weight against Alfie, pressing against his chest to drive them apart. But it was no good. When he was angry, he was as strong as a brick wall. So she tried to appeal to Tommy. “Whatever he did, he’ll stop. We can help find Charlie, we can help bring him back to you! I’m sure he didn’t know about Charlie, he never would do that if he knew.” Frantic tears sprung from her eyes. She was undeniably upset at Alfie but the potential of him being killed was too much for her to bear. “You promised you’d offer protection to me, I gave you all I had. You can’t take him away from me.”

            Michael managed to get Tommy a few steps away. “If you kill him now, the truce with the London outfits will be blown to fucking pieces.”

            The Jewish gangster paced a bit, his limp more prominent without his cane and after being tackled. Louise tried to keep between him and the Blinder but his movements were too erratic. He was too deeply immersed to realize the distress he was causing her. “Yeah, well it don’t fucking matter anymore, do it? That truce, it fell apart, yeah? It’s fucking done. You’ve got nothing to worry about when it comes to the old, scary London boys.”

            “Which fucking side are you on, Alfie!?” Michael yelled.

            “I don’t give a fuck right now, kid!” His voice was trembling with rage. “I do not want him to spare me because of some fucking peace pact or money Louise paid! I want him to acknowledge that his anger is un-fucking-justified!”

            “For the love of God, Alfie, please.” She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

            But he wouldn’t quit and stormed over to invade Tommy’s space again. His face going red with anger. “I want him to acknowledge that he who fights by the sword fucking dies by it, Tommy!” His voice rose louder and louder until the warehouse was teeming with chaos. “You fucking stand there, judging me? Stand there and talk to me about crossing some fucking line? If you pull that trigger, right you pull that trigger for a fucking honorable reason. Like an honorable man, not like some _fucking_ civilian that does not understand the wicked ways of our world, mate.”

            Tommy was silent for a moment, his eyes not moving from Alfie’s face. Finally, he spoke. “Michael, go and call Inspector Moss, tell him its Palmer.”

            Louise breathed out in relief when Tommy stepped away and touched Alfie’s shoulder without malice.

            “Well said, Alfie. Well said.”

            The Jewish gangster furrowed his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to speak but just grumbled incoherently. “I did not know about your boy, though.” His voice softened and he sighed.

            “I know, I saw.” Tommy finally looked at Louise. “Congratulations on the engagement.” He said with no clear enthusiasm or malice. “Brave girl.”

            Louise swallowed and shook her head. “This won’t happen again.” She spoke to the Blinder. Her voice quivered.

            Tommy didn’t remark. He had more important things to do than to inform her that it most definitely _would_ happen again as long as Alfie was still breathing. The gangster was highly skilled at betrayal and indulged in it.

            When he left, Alfie grimaced at his dead driver, bleeding out on the warehouse floor. “Fucking hell.” He grumbled.

            Louise wasn’t sure which emotion was most prevalent in her. She jabbed a finger into his chest, her hazel eyes fiery with betrayal. “You’ve lied to me for the last time.” She spat out and stormed towards the car.

           

 

            Alfie was surprised to wake up in an empty bed. He always woke up before Louise did. But things hadn’t been well since the confrontation with Tommy. She didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day or night. She retired to bed early and he came upstairs to find her back turned to him. Now even Cyril was missing.

            He wasn’t sure what to tell her. Yes, he had double-crossed the Peaky Blinders. No, he didn’t think Tommy’s son would be kidnapped. He might’ve thought about the implications but not for very long.

 

            “Lyn, where did Louise go?” Alfie asked as he walked into the kitchen.

            “She left for the bakery ‘bout an hour ago.” His maid informed him. “Took Cyril with her.”

            “Fan-fucking-tastic.” He knew he was in for it. His punishment was waiting for him at the bakery, now he had to gather what courage he had left and face it. It was much worse than dealing with any of the Shelbys or the Italians.

           

            Alfie begrudgingly walked to the bakery. It was nearly empty because of the early hour. Only a few men loitered around. Ollie was sitting at Louise’s desk. The office door closed. He gave his boss a concerned and sympathetic look.

            “She in there?”

            The young man nodded. “Been in there for an hour.”

            “Right…” Alfie steeled himself and reached for the door handle.

            “She’s got a gun, just…by the way,” Ollie informed him.

            “Mate, that’s the least of my worries. I almost wish she would fucking shoot me instead of what I’m ‘bout to get.” He grumbled and walked into the office.

            Louise sat at his desk. Cyril was comfortably resting in his bed. The bullmastiff’s tail thumped against the floor when he saw Alfie enter but didn’t get up to greet him.

            She was rifling through stacks of paper. Her revolver was resting on the desk, pointing towards the door. Her hazel eyes didn’t look up even when she heard his heavy boots on the floor.

            “Lou.”

            No response.

            “Louise, what are you doing?”

            She slammed a pile of papers down on the desk and finally looked up. “I’m going through your notes to make sure you’re not keeping anything else from me.” She informed him with poison in her voice. “If you’re planning some foolish scheme that could end with you being shot. Or maybe having me kidnapped or killed.”

            Anyone else going through his paperwork would receive a harsh punishment. But Alfie felt like he might owe her some sort of transparency. So he cleared his throat and sat down. “M’not keeping anything else from you.”

            “Oh really?” Louise went back to shuffling through his scrawling handwriting. “What makes you think I’ll believe that?”

            “Lou, you didn’t ask ‘bout it so I-”

            “That’s enough!” She snapped and startled him right out of his early morning stupor. Her eyes burned as she glared at him. “I know you think that the world bows and bends to the will of Alfie Solomons. You think that no matter what you do, it’s justified. You always have an excuse, don’t you? You could talk your way out of hell if the devil gave you the time.” Her jaw tightened and she took a few huffing breaths. Her anger had bubbled and boiled over since the afternoon the day before. Now he was finally pushing her over the edge. “I am not a fool and I will not turn a blind eye to the stupidity you continue to pull.”

            He pinched his eyes closed. “I never thought you were a fool. I didn’t mean…”

            “Don’t you realize that the choices you make have consequences, Alfie?” She demanded. “What if they had killed Charlie? Would you feel good about yourself? Would it be worth it?”

            “Fucking hell, that’s what this is about? You’re worried ‘bout his fucking kid?” He protested. “Love, that kid’s been in danger since the day he was born. I didn’t make Tommy have a fucking kid, Louise.”

            “That’s not the point!” She shouted. “You can continue to put this off on everyone else but at the end of the day, you’re going to have to answer for what you’ve done, Alfie!”

            He was silent. His calloused fingers pressed deep into the bridge of his nose.

            “Look at me.” The volume of her voice lowered but she was still agitated.

            He obliged, to please her if nothing else. “You want transparency? Fine. Good, we’ll be transparent. You want me to tell you how I fucking slaughtered that man who tried raping you? Want to hear what he screamed as I was burning off his fingertips? Want to hear how many men I’ve killed, love, because I’ve fucking lost count by now, haven’t I?”

            Louise bit her tongue but never looked away from his gaze.

            “This ain’t a world full of friendships and sunshine. I take care of my own.” Alfie pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m not ‘bout to pretend I care about the Shelbys. Ain’t my job to make sure they’re all alive at the end of the day. Those fucking gypsies are cursed, that’s not my problem. But Tommy, he’s just like me, right? He’ll do whatever it takes to get to the top. Fucking killed just as many men as I have, love.”

            Louise exhaled slowly through her nose. “Get to the point, Alfie.” She whispered.

            “Me fucking point is I’m only concerned with one thing. Protecting you, yeah? Because you’re the woman I love. Tommy will get his son back. He always wins, don’t he? As for me? I’m gonna protect me own interests.”

            “So you don’t care how I feel about all this?” She replied coldly. “You don’t care how I felt when I heard an innocent child had been taken?”

            He sighed and ran a hand over his face. It was hard putting himself in her shoes sometimes. “I get that, love. I do. But you know that wasn’t my intention.”

            “Intention is irrelevant.” She leaned back in his leather desk chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

            Alfie saw the sapphire still sparkling on her finger. At least she hadn’t chucked it in the Thames that morning. “Lou, you know who I am. You’re smart and you wouldn’t’ve have agreed to marry me if you had any doubts.”

            Her lower lip trembled because she wanted so badly to be angry with him. But he was right. She knew the kind of man he was before they even ended up together. If she were really disturbed by his actions then she would’ve been gone ages ago. “You can’t do this to me again. You can’t keep things from me, especially not if you plan on marrying me.”

            His face softened with relief. “I won’t.” He promised. “I just want you to be happy, love, that’s all.”

            Her brow creased and she kept her arms pressed to her chest. “Alfie, I’m happy with you but things like this…it’s difficult for me. I know you want to keep me out of it but sometimes that just makes things worse. It’ll get out eventually and I’ll hear about it. So maybe it’s best I know upfront so I’m not surprised by something like yesterday.” She was uncertain, at best. But things in her life were often uncertain. What she _did_ know is that she loved Alfie and he loved her back. But he was decisively dedicated to being the gangster London feared.

            “Right, we can work that out.” He agreed and stood up to walk around the desk. “You’ll still marry me, then?”

            Louise looked up at him and sighed heavily. “Tommy was right, I am brave for being engaged to you.”

            “Well…” He grumbled and shrugged.

            She rose from the chair. “No more lies.”

            “No more lies.”

            Alfie was overly relieved when she hugged him. He had planned to get down on his knees to beg for forgiveness. There wasn’t any worry towards striking a balance between her and the firm. His main focus now was marrying her and becoming a more complete man.

            “I love you, Alfie, but you’re a real pain in the arse sometimes.”

            He chuckled. “I’ve been called worse, love.” He pecked her cheek. “Let’s get the day started, eh? You should probably let Ollie know that you’re not planning on fucking shooting me.”

            “You have a meeting in an hour.” She told him and returned her gun to its holster before walking out of the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I think Alfie probably does care about Charlie but he's more interested in protecting his own in the long run. As for Louise, well she knew what she was getting herself into a long time ago.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfie has to work hard to get back in the good graces of Louise. The Shelbys are in trouble. Louise returns home.

            It was midday about a week after Charlie Shelby was kidnapped. For more than one reason, Alfie was relieved to hear the little boy was returned unharmed. Not only was he safe but now Alfie didn’t have to further incur the wrath of Tommy or Louise.

            The week had been torturous though. She was still holding him on a probationary period. So, he stepped up his game to win her over again. Flowers crowded her desk, a diamond bracelet appeared on her wrist overnight, and he made sure to uphold his promise of transparency.

            But Louise was being coy because she _wanted_ him to earn her back. It wasn’t every day Alfie Solomons was ignored. She felt it was healthy for him to know how it felt.

            Instead, it was driving him crazy. Now a desperate man, he threw caution at the wind. After Louise returned from seeing some friends for lunch, she went into Alfie’s office. She was filing a few things when he walked in. She gave him a glance of acknowledgment but simply resumed her task wordlessly.

            Alfie didn’t speak either which was a good indication he was scheming. He locked the door behind him and casually went about pulling the blinds shut.

            Louise pretended not to notice. She heard his footsteps and finally, he embraced her from behind. His strong arms circled around her waist. “Did I tell you how fucking gorgeous you look?” He purred.

            She bit back a smile but only shrugged in response.

            “’Course I ain’t surprised. Always look beautiful, don’t you?”

            “Is Alfie Solomons resorting to flattery?” Louise cocked an eyebrow. Her fingernails flipping quickly through the files.

            “Only if it’s working.” He kissed right below her earlobe because he knew that was one of her weakest points.

            It _did_ make her misplace a paper, only realizing her mistake a moment later when he quit. “You’re good at talking, Captain Solomons.”

            His lips smiled against her skin. “And you know what it does to me when you call me that.”

            She let a smirk slip past. But she had her wits about her and wasn’t ready to let him off the hook. “Can’t you see I’m a little busy trying to sort out your messes? You’ve scattered these account papers all over the place. And I can hardly read your handwriting.”

            Alfie rested his chin on her shoulder. “Sorry, love. Can I take you out tonight?” He asked.

            “Still trying to butter me up?”

            He groaned and buried his face in the crook of her neck. During business interactions, Alfie would rather die than beg. The gangster had an uncompromising image. He would cede, as he had before. But he was going to get the last word no matter what. But Louise wasn’t a business transaction. If he was going to get anywhere he had to put his ego aside, realize he was in the wrong, tuck his tail between his legs, and keep working towards forgiveness. “Yes.” He admitted.

            Louise smiled and reached up to run her fingers through his hair. It was good to know that he was trying everything he could to make it up to her. She decided he deserved a break. “Yes, I’ll go out with you tonight.”

            He lifted his head in victory. “We can go wherever you want.” He promised and reached up to still her hands. He took the papers from her hands and tossed them aside. Lacing his fingers with her left hand, he raised it so they could both admire her ring. “Been thinking ‘bout our wedding.”

            “Oh yeah?” Her knees went a little weak at the idea he was dreaming about that special day in the future.

            “S’gonna be perfect, innit? You can have it however you want, yeah, but when it’s over, I’m taking you to Paris.”

            “Paris?” Louise turned to face him. Her eyes lit up. “I love Paris, I haven't been so long.”

            Alfie smiled. “Yeah? Well good. ‘Cause we’ll stay as long as we damn well please, won’t we?” He murmured and pulled her close to kiss her deeply.

            She giggled against his lips as he lifted her up and placed her on top of his desk.

            “You and me, love.” He grazed his lips over her jaw and down her neck. “Mr. and Mrs. Solomons in Paris.”

            Hearing the name made Louise’s resolve weak. He was being unfair and knew what strings to pull to make her swoon. She squirmed when his beard tickled her skin. “City of love.” She sighed happily.

            “And a good thing too, innit? That way, neighbors can’t complain when we’re fucking all night.” He growled playfully with a cocky look in his eyes.

            She couldn’t help but smile and bring his lips back to hers. He could be such a prick sometimes but he was endearing in his own way. Keeping him at a distance was tough even if she was pissed at him. The week had been just as difficult and long as it had been for him.

            There was a sharp knock on the door to interrupt the shared fantasy of their honeymoon. Alfie reluctantly pulled away, a grumpy frown now gracing his face. “Of course, can't get a fucking break.” He muttered. “Oi, I’m busy, fuck off!” He shouted at the person on the other side of the door. Thinking that was that, he went back to Louise.

            “Sir, it’s important!” Ollie knocked again to emphasize his point.

            “Fucking hell.”

            Louise stood up, moving past Alfie to unlock the office door and let the assistant in. “Hello, Ollie.” She greeted.

            He nodded as she let him in. “Hello, Louise. Uh, sir.” He turned to Alfie. “A message from Luca Changretta just arrived.”

            Ice-cold water doused the situation in an instant. Reality returned and the couple was reminded, yet again, the sort of life they lived. Louise looked to Alfie for answers but he merely gave a grim nod.

            “What’d he want?”

            “Well, nothing specific yet.” The young man answered and handed his boss the letter. “But he’s coming over from America soon.”

            He scanned the letter. “He’ll be wanting allies in London.” He surmised. “Good planner, ain’t he? Definitely done his research.”

            “Would Sabini help him?” Louise wondered aloud.

            “’Course, they’re all fucking wops, aren’t they? Think they’ll get along just fine.” Alfie muttered in reply.

            “Maybe you should see what the Shelbys are doing before you make any rash decisions.” She suggested calmly. It was best to step out in front of Alfie before he let his agitation answer any inquiries.

            Ollie fidgeted beside her. “Well, that’s the other thing.” He further opened up the situation with more news.

            “What?” Alfie asked gruffly. “What else could there fucking be?” He tossed the letter onto his desk.

            “Michael and Polly Grey, along with John and Arthur were arrested charged with murder.” He answered.

            Louise frowned, her forehead wrinkled with confusion. “Not Tommy?”

            Ollie simply shook his head. “No, he’s still a free man.”

            Alfie let out a bitter laugh. “That fucking mad man. Really, the fucking gypsy’s lost it, hasn’t he? I’m telling ya, s’that head injury of his. Docs must’ve let some screws go loose when they were trying to fucking put him back together.” He walked around his desk to sit.

            “What do you mean?” His fiancee asked.

            “He let the police arrest his own family.” He told her with a shrug and crossed his arms over chest.

            “He wouldn’t do that.”

            “’Course he fucking would. Think about it, Lou, if the police really had all this information then they would’ve nicked Tommy first. He had something to do with it, I’d bet a lot of money on that.”

            “How would he even benefit from doing something like that?” She argued. It seemed preposterous that a man would allow his family to be charged with such heinous crimes.

            Alfie simply shrugged and shook his head. In all honesty, he couldn’t answer her. “Right, thank you, Ollie.” He waved his assistant off. “Let me know if you hear anything else.”

            “Yes, sir.”

            Louise sat down across the desk from her fiancee. “What do you think you should do?” She asked candidly. It was the first test of Alfie’s commitment to his promise of being honest with her.

            He mindlessly moved things around his desk to preoccupy himself. “Lay low for the time being. Keep an ear to the wind, eh? I’ll see if I can get a hold of Tommy, see what he’s up to.”

            “Alright.” She nodded. It was a relief that he didn’t just immediately shoot her down and tell her not to worry about it. “And you’ll let me know if that plan changes?”

            “I told you I would. But,” He looked up and rested his elbows on the desk. “If I need you to go somewhere else, for any reason, you won’t fight me, yeah?”

            She muddled over the clause and decided it would give him a peace of mind. “Okay.”

           

 

            The world was going to know that Alfie Solomons was marrying the love of his life. In fact, it was becoming a bit of gossip around London. Big, scary Alfie was betrothed to a quiet girl. And not just any girl, the daughter who fell from aristocratic grace. A woman who was rumored to have killed a man.

            Strange indeed.

            Still, he turned a deaf ear to any rumors. He was too busy with his own ventures. Everything was up to Louise as far as the wedding. She could have it however she wanted. But, Alfie had a plan of his own that he thought could help her decide the location of their nuptials.

           

 

            “Alfie, honestly is this really necessary?” Louise was in the car beside him and she was blindfolded. She had been for the entire trip.

            “Well, it wouldn't be any fun if you knew where we were going, Lou. M’beginning to think you don’t fucking know what a surprise is meant to be.” He teased.

            She blindly landed an elbow to his upper arm. “Cheeky boy.”

            He snickered. “Won’t be too much longer, love. I assure you, it’s worth the trouble.” He promised and grasped her hand in his. He was thrilled to see her reaction to his big reveal. 

 

            True to his word, they arrived shortly after. The car stopped at the end of a gravel drive. Alfie helped Louise out. She inhaled the clean air and basked in the early spring sun. They weren’t at Margate because there was no hint of sea salt in the breeze. Instead, she could detect the scent of grass and roses mixed with lavender.

            “Well, we’re not in the city anymore.” She held his hand as he guided her forward a few steps.

            “Far from it.” He confirmed. “You ready?” He asked just to delay the suspense a little bit longer.

            She grinned and nodded eagerly. “I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough.”

            He agreed by slipping off the blindfold.

            Louise’s lips parted in utter shock when she saw where they had traveled.

            The Barnes estate, Inglewood, which had been in the family for generations. But Louise hadn’t stepped foot on the grounds since she was eighteen. The last time she’d been there, she snuck out the back entrance and ran through the gardens. The moon had lit her path through the darkness. She circled around the manor with a bag in hand. Daniel was waiting for her, ready to help her escape. Her teenage brain had been so full of adrenaline and excitement, she couldn’t see how utterly delusional she was being.

            Now she stood there a decade later in the bright afternoon. Tears formed in her eyes as she took in the home she’d missed for so long. The large windows allowed in all of the morning light as the sun rose. The stones that had remained there for decades and decades, seeing the birth and death of the Barnes’s. Now she was the only one left. Yet she almost expected her parents to open the door and welcome her back home. They would embrace her and tell her how much they’d missed her during her time away. The doors remained closed, no one was inside.

            Alfie let her process the surprise before he stepped in. “It’s yours now, love.” He murmured and wrapped an arm around her waist.

            Her head turned, a tear slipping down her cheek. “What?” Her voice was weak with disbelief.

            “I bought it for you. It’s yours.” His smile was as warm as the spring day. The countryside sun wore off his rough appearance. He appeared softer in the light and much, much happier. 

            Louise gasped tearfully and hugged him tightly. “No, it’s _ours._ ”

 

            She entered her home and found it hadn’t changed at all since she’d left. Even the portraits remained in their usual spots in the foyer. A large portrait of her parents greeted them. Her mother, an elegant beauty with dark red hair and emerald green eyes. Donned in one of her favorite navy blue gowns, a diamond necklace adorned her neck. Her husband affectionately touched his wife’s hand, a proud look matching his confident posture. His hazel eyes were full of warmth despite his elite appearance.

            Louise was overwhelmed with emotions as she walked over to the portrait. Her fingers touched the edge of the original gilded frame. She swallowed and remembered how she often stared up at the portrait and wished she could be just as beautiful and in love as her parents were. She turned and saw Alfie patiently waiting behind her.

            “You alright, love?” He asked sympathetically.

            She nodded despite the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m happy I am…I just…I wish I’d come home sooner. Wish I could’ve said goodbye to them.”

            He nodded and walked over to embrace her again. “I know. I’m sorry, Lou.” He knew what it was like to lose a parent without even having the chance to be there for them. He would’ve given anything to be beside his mother, holding her hand to comfort her as she lived her final moments. It would be something they had to live with for the rest of their lives.

 

            After a quick tour through some of the many rooms of Inglewood, Alfie and Louise walked outside. There was an overgrown garden that gave way to a huge lawn. To the left of the house were the stables and more pastures along with forested trails for riding.

            “Well, it needs some work but figure we could have our wedding here,” Alfie suggested. They walked arm in arm across the patio. "Sometime in the summer when it's warmest?" 

            Louise dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief again and nodded. “I think that would be lovely.” She agreed. “Something small, we can hold the reception inside.”

            “Posh event for my Surrey girl.” He smiled and kissed her temple.

            “Alfie, you’ve given me so much.” Louise looked up at him. Her brow wrinkled in concern. “I’m afraid I haven’t given you enough in return.”

            “Oh, Lou, you have no fucking idea how much you’ve given me.” He hugged her close. “Nothing I can give you will even come close to the happiness you’ve brought me.”     


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter because it's the 21st chapter on the 21st on my 21st birthday. What an occasion!

            Alfie had some experience with caring for children. He helped his mother as best he could with his younger brother. But he was a bad influence on Adam and it showed early on. His mother urged her youngest to pursue a more respectable life so she didn't have two sons stuck in a cycle of crime. Perle encouraged Adam to focus on education and was extremely proud when he joined the military. Alfie didn’t do anything to pressure his brother into the life he led. If anything, he agreed with his mother and steered Adam away from a life of crime. The last thing he wanted was to have his baby brother’s blood on his hands. His mother would never forgive him.

            Adam Solomons was a family man. He loved his wife and son. He also loved his country and proudly marched off to war. His body was never recovered from Gallipoli. Alfie promised to look after Rose but she was distrustful of the gangster who was making his way through the ranks of the underworld. When he returned from the war, he had no family left aside from his nephew and sister-in-law. Rose, overwhelmed with grief and her reckless seventeen-year-old, took off. Goliath was dropped off on Alfie without any notice.

            He didn’t raise the boy though and couldn't teach him anything of much use. He was already too set in his ways.

            Alfie had been around Ollie’s children before. They all pounced on him the second he walked through the door screeching about lord knows what. They called him Uncle Fie and the oldest boy said he wanted to be a boxer, always trying to get Alfie to fight him. Aside from a tousle of the hair and the occasional piggyback ride, he was uneasy around them. Children were so fragile and vulnerable. He was accustomed to men who could survive a severe beating and get right back to it. Ollie’s wife would smack him if Alfie so much as uttered one swear around the kids. But Alfie saw the pride on his assistant’s face when his children were around. Ollie lived for them and he spoke so fondly about them. It made him wonder what it was like to be a father, lighting up at every mention of his pride and joy. To boast about their achievements and how they made him smile. To see Louise pregnant and thrilled to be a mother. It was tempting.

 

            Inglewood needed work before they could have any function, especially their wedding. But Louise was thrilled to take on the project. She talked endlessly about the memories she had in each room. How she bruised her knee sliding down the banister, the first pony her father bought her, the stories her mother would tell her at night, and the chocolate cake made for her birthday each year. She wanted to bring those memories back to life as best she could by reviving Inglewood. Improvements and cleaning were left to staff that Alfie hired after a strict vetting process. But Louise wanted to be involved because she felt protective over her home.

            Alfie had never seen her so interested in anything. She paid attention to the restoration process and even began gardening once the overgrown yard was cleared. He could fondly remember one of the early days they were there. Louise had gone out into the warm sunshine, clad in pants and one of his old shirts. She wasn’t afraid to get dirty in the soil and eagerly showed Alfie what she’d planted by the end of the day.

            She was happy and that made him as happy as could be. 

 

            One week, Alfie returned back to Inglewood from Camden Town. Louise had stayed, working from the office that had just been redone and furnished along with a portrait of her father proudly hanging by his original desk.

            Alfie stepped out of the car and noticed a few kids bicycling down the driveway. There were three of them, a boy around fourteen, a girl about nine, and another boy that couldn’t be more than seven. They were dressed well, albeit most likely their play clothes, and he could guess they were from around the area.

            When they saw Alfie, they screeched to a halt.

            “Sorry, sir.” The oldest apologized. “This home’s usually empty so we ride up the drive and back.” He explained. The boy was the complete opposite of how Alfie was at the same age. Clean-cut, well mannered, and cautious.

            “S’alright.” Alfie didn’t see the harm with the kids riding their bikes up the way.

            “Are you moving in here?” The girl asked. Her blonde hair in a short bob with a silver clip parting her bangs to the side. “We live down that way.” She pointed past the front lawn of Inglewood where a foot-high stonewall divided the land.

            “Erm, yes, just doing a few renovations.” He nodded and felt out of his comfort zone. He had enough sense not to act the part of the big scary gangster boss in front of children. So that just left him as plain old Alfie.

            As if hearing his silent pleas for help, Louise stepped outside. “Alfie?” She had heard the car pull up and expected him to rush inside to embrace her. “Oh, hello.” She smiled when she saw the children.

            “Do you have any kids our age?” The youngest boy asked hopefully. “I’m seven ‘n a half.” He beamed proudly.

            “I’m afraid we don’t have any children, darling. We’ve only just got married.” It was a lie simply to throw a veil over the situation. Despite the distance between neighbors, word traveled fast in upscale country settings. None of the fashionable ladies of the manors would want to hear that Louise and Alfie weren’t married but still living together. It was the 1920’s but some people were still stuck in the past.

            The little boy pouted. “That’s okay.” Even though he was disappointed, he managed to keep the politeness instilled in them by their nanny.

            The eldest leaned forward, resting his forearms on the handlebars of his bike. “Mum will want to have you ‘round for tea.” He told Louise.

            “That would be lovely. Alfie and I will come and visit once we’re all settled.”

            Alfie furrowed his brow. Afternoon tea in Surrey was not on his to-do list. He cleared his throat and nodded. Whatever Louise wanted and whatever would make her happiest. “Yeah, we’ll pop on by soon. And don’t worry ‘bout us, you can ride your bikes wherever. We don’t mind, yeah?” He looked to Louise who was smiling.

            “Of course not.” She agreed.

            “Thank you!” The littlest shouted a bit louder than necessary and rode off. His sister followed, the wheels kicking up bits of gravel as they went.

            The other boy lingered, glancing at Alfie for a moment. “Well, thank you. Have a good day.” He nodded and went to catch up to his siblings.

            “So sweet,” Louise said softly and linked arms with Alfie to walk inside.

            “Yeah, proper posh kids, aren’t they? You like that when you were that age?” He wondered.

            “Well…I suppose.” She shrugged and led him into the office. “Wasn’t much else to do around here besides spending time outside and with friends.”

            He sat down on one of the couches near the unlit fireplace. Louise happily sat beside him, tucking her feet under her. “Were a lot of things to do in Camden growing up.” He chuckled. “Bad things, yeah, but things all the same. Was probably robbing people at his age.”

            Louise wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled close to his side. “I think we might have gotten along. I got bored easily here.”

            “And you would be the beautiful posh girl that I would do anything to win over.” He nearly laughed at how sappy he was being.

            She watched the lines around his eyes wrinkle in happiness. Her fingers grazed over the nape of his neck, dancing along the edge of his hairline. “You wouldn’t have to try very hard.”

            He chuckled and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Well, m’fraid I won’t be a very good socialite.” It meant to come off as humorous but he couldn’t ignore the passing look the neighbor’s son had given him. Alfie knew he didn’t fit into that society and part of him was perfectly okay with that. But the other part was guilty about not giving Louise everything she wanted.

            “Alfie.” She sighed and turned his cheek so he was looking at her. “I don’t want you to change just because we have this home now. Where we are or who we’re around doesn’t matter. I just want you to always be my Alfie. And I never wanted to be a socialite and I sure as hell don’t want to be one now.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “All I want is to have a life with you.”

            “Lou…” He rested a hand over hers. His blue eyes shining with adoration and a bit of relief. “I don’t want you to ever change either.” He agreed softly.

            She smiled and touched her forehead to his. “I love you.”

            “I love you too.” He closed his eyes for a moment and let his thumb graze over the sapphire embedded in her ring. “D’you want kids?” He asked before he really thought about what conversation he was possibly opening up.

            Louise drew back in surprise. “I-well I suppose we haven’t talked about it.” She agreed without outright answering him. She wasn’t in the mood to strike up a heated debate over the issue. Especially when they weren’t even married yet.

            “I think we should.”

            The admission came out fast and for a moment, Louise thought she hadn’t heard him right. “Well, I…yes I agree.”

            They let the words sit in the air between them. They were thrilled that they were on the same page but both very worried in their unique way. The decision seemed much larger than anything else in their lives.

            “I just know you’d be a good mum, s’all.” He shrugged sheepishly and looked down at her hand still resting in his. “Like to have kids of me own.”

            “I think you’d be a wonderful father, Alfie.” Louise murmured truthfully. “You might not think so but I know how much love you’re capable of having.”

            “I could protect you both.” He vowed. “Would fucking never let anything harm you. I’ve made mistakes that put you in danger but I-”

            She pressed a finger to his lips. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know you could take care of us, I trust you. You’ve earned my trust and I know we’ll be able to keep that as we create a life together.” Her voice was breathless with excitement. It was surreal to imagine Inglewood full of life again. Not the hollow, stone building that had been drained of the love it once held. But a child, maybe even more than one, running around the home and playing in the yard. A little boy or girl with Alfie’s beautiful blue eyes. She could easily picture the smile on her fiancée’s face as he picked up a little child that so closely resembled him.

            It nearly brought tears to Louise’s eyes. “I can’t wait for forever with you.” She whispered and took his face in her hands to kiss him.

            Alfie wrapped his arms around her, letting her take his breath away like she had done many times before.

 

            Alfie stayed the night in Inglewood. Louise fell right to sleep but he was restless. The silence of the countryside was bothering him and his own thoughts were much too loud.

            So, he decided to take a lap around the home just to clear his head. He cursed the draft in the large halls and crossed his arms over his chest. The stairs creaked under him as he made his way downstairs. He passed through the foyer and wove through the parlor, the dining room, the front hall, and to the office.

            The large portrait of Mr. Barnes startled Alfie for a moment as he passed by the doors. He paused and decided to go in.

            Henry Barnes was a younger man when the portrait was painted. He had only just met his wife-to-be, but he was still the son of a wealthy aristocrat. He stood tall and proud like in the foyer portrait with his wife, Lily. His gentle eyes appeared to be looking down right at Alfie.

            The gangster faced the painting and took a deep breath. He felt like a Christian going into confession. “I know that…” He sighed as he realized he was talking out loud to a piece of canvas. Nevertheless, he continued on. “Maybe m’not the best for her. Could be better men out there, right, that she could be with. All I know is I would do anything to keep her safe and happy. Would fucking die for her in a heartbeat if I had to.”

            Henry didn’t move. The placid expression on his face remained just like it had for decades.

            Alfie ran a hand through his hair and nodded absent-mindedly. “Never loved anyone like I love her.” He mumbled. “Fucking hurts me chest when I think ‘bout it sometimes. Yeah, dunno if I’m enough. Or if I’ll ever be.” He swallowed hard and took a few steps back. “Fucking talking to myself.” It was enough to get the words out of his head though, and he felt a bit lighter as he left the office. No matter what insecurities he might have, he knew for damn sure he was going to marry the love of his life.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not Jewish but I've done what I can to read up on Jewish wedding customs. Thanks to IrelandForver (who has a great Alfie fic) for helping me work out some details and giving support.

            While London was swarming with whispers of Alfie’s marriage, Camden Town had its own take on the matter. Simply put, Alfie was Jewish through and through. He was raised that way and despite his criminal activity, he would stay that way. Louise was not Jewish. Baptized in the Church of England, she had lost most faith in God. As far as Jewish law was concerned, they would not be allowed to wed.

            Ever since he hit puberty, Perle would say Alfie needed to find a nice Jewish woman to marry. He never did, most fathers didn’t want their respectable daughters around the hellish Solomons boy. That didn’t bother him because he wasn’t interested in settling down. As a young man, he was more interested in laying out his empire.

            Now that he had, Alfie only had eyes for one woman. Jewish law wouldn’t’ stop him. He tended to disregard all laws except his own.

 

            Ollie and Alfie were inspecting areas of the bakery, making sure everything was running smoothly.

            “Ollie, mate, can I ask you something?”

            “Of course, sir.” The curly-haired man nodded. He looked up from his checklist.

            “You said you and Shayna went to temple in Hampstead? What’s the rabbi’s name?”

            Despite years working for him, Ollie was never able to guess what his boss was about to say. But they normally didn’t talk about religion. Alfie celebrated holidays typically with friends of his late mother or Ollie’s family. Camden embraced him because he gave to the Jewish community. Men tipped their hats and greeted him politely. Grandmothers often scolded him, saying he looked thin and promised to bring him heaps of food.

            But they all knew what he did and how it conflicted with their shared beliefs. A busy man, Alfie attended temple when he had the chance. He sat in the back, a silent and domineering figure.

            “Rabbi Mayer?”

            “Right, you know him well?” Alfie continued to be cryptic.

            “I suppose.” Ollie shrugged. “He married Shayna and me.” He reminded his boss who had been present.

            “Thought so.” He scratched at his beard. “You think he’d be willing to overlook a few things?”

            Well, Ollie _had_ been asked stranger things before. “Like what?”

            “Small bits ‘n bobs. Louise’s religion mostly.” He answered casually.

            Rose had told her husband about what the other Camden women were gossiping about. How was Alfie, a Jewish gangster going to marry someone of a different faith? Certainly, no rabbi would conduct the ceremony. So would he neglect Jewish tradition? That was simply unheard of.

            “And what if they have children?” Shayna had asked, throwing her hands up in disbelief. “It’s in his family. His brother did the same thing! He had some legal ceremony and never taught his son properly. Look at Goliath now.”

            Ollie could understand his wife’s opinion. The community struggled to keep their traditions and identity. But he also knew Alfie would do as he wished. Hence, why he was asking for a rabbi who would break the rules.

            “Sir, I’m not sure-”

            “Look, I fucking know.” Alfie cut him off. “Not s’posed to do this but I ain’t going back on what I said. I’m marrying her.” His tone was firm and unyielding.

            “Sir, even if he does marry you, everyone will know.” His assistant pointed out.

            He grimaced. “Fucking gossips.” He grumbled under his breath. “Fuck it. You go to the rabbi, yeah, and let him name his price. If not, I’ll do it me own way.”

 

            Louise was back in Camden that same night. She was getting dressed for bed when Alfie arrived home. He entered the room with a smile.

            “Love that color on you.” He admired the indigo nightgown she was wearing. It was one of many that Alfie had shipped in from Paris.

            Louise smiled. “You say that no matter what I’m wearing.” She sat at the vanity to carefully undo the pins from her hair.

            “Well, then.” He chuckled and stood behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe that’s ‘cause you’re beautiful in everything.” He murmured. “Also beautiful with nothing on too.” He touched his lips to her neck.

            Louise rested a hand over his. She nuzzled his cheek lovingly. “How was your day?”

            “Fine, nothing to write home ‘bout.” Alfie shrugged. He drew away and sat on the bed to remove his boots. Cyril curled up by his feet begging for a pat. He obliged, scratching behind the bullmastiff’s ears.

            “Evelyn was talking to me about the wedding.” She informed him.

            “Yeah?”

            “Telling me about Jewish traditions.” Louise turned on the vanity seat to face him. “We can’t be married by a rabbi, can we?” Guilt hinted at her features.

            “Well…” Alfie rubbed the back of his neck. “Not too sure yet.” He admitted.

            She played with her engagement ring, circling the band around her finger. “Maybe I could convert, that way we won’t be breaking tradition. I don’t want people looking at you badly because you’re marrying me.”

            Alfie frowned. “Lou, we just discussed this. I ain’t gonna make you change who you are for me.” He held his arms out for her.

            She gladly curled up on his lap. His arms cradling her close and keeping her safe. She rested her cheek on his shoulder.

            “I’m marrying you whether anyone likes it or not, yeah?” He kissed her hair. “Our wedding, our relationships, s’none of anyone else’s fucking business. If you want Jewish traditions then we’ll do them. Don’t fucking care if a rabbi’s there or not. Only care that you are.”

            Louise frowned and chewed on her lower lip. “But your family…” Alfie came from hardship. Most of his family had been killed because of their religion. Perle had fought against all odds to deliver her sons to safety and provide for them. She raised them in a Jewish community to keep the culture alive even if they weren’t in their homeland.

            “Lou, me mum only wanted me to be happy.” He assured her softly. “She probably would give me hell for it but at the end of the day, yeah, you make me smile. Not a lot of people can do that.”

            She gently touched the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be happy.” Her eyes locked on his. “Whatever makes you happiest.”

            Alfie could appreciate where he’d come from. He couldn’t neglect his past and what it took for him to get to the place he was. But of all the ways he had sinned, he decided that marrying Louise would be the least damning. “You make me the happiest.” He murmured and traced his thumb over her cheek. Her skin was warm, a faint blush forming under his touch. He briefly thought back to his monologue in front of her father’s portrait. “D’you ever get that feeling when your chest, right, when you love someone? S’like…” He scrunched up his nose in thought.

            “It’s some sort of ache?” She suggested because she knew exactly what he was talking about. Her hand pressed to his chest, right above his heart. “It hurts because you had no idea you had the capacity to love someone so much.”

            He nodded and let out a small laugh of fright. “Fucking afraid m’gonna wake up tomorrow and you’ll just be a dream.”

            “One day you’re going to wake up in Inglewood, next to your wife.” She lovingly rubbed circles over his shoulders and the back of his neck where he held all his stress. His tense muscles started to relax after a bit of coaxing. “Your son or daughter will run into the room to wake you up and beg for you to come and play with them.”

            He closed his eyes for a moment to picture the scene she was painting for him. “Sounds too good to be true.”

            “It isn’t. Because you deserve peace and happiness, Alfie Solomons.”

            He opened his eyes to find her looking earnestly at him. He tilted his head to the side and grumbled in protest. But he couldn’t argue with her. She held firm to her beliefs. “And that’s why no one can say anything ‘bout us getting married. ‘Cause you’re fucking perfect, ain’t ya? I’m going to marry you and our wedding, yeah, we’re doing it our way.”

            She cuddled close to him. “Don’t tempt me with a good time, Captain Solomons.” She teased softly and tucked into the crook of his neck.

            He chuckled and rested back into the pillows. “Go to sleep, love, we’ve got lots to do tomorrow.”

 

 

            Evelyn was thrilled. Life seemed to be going so well for her and everyone she loved. Alfie and Louise were getting married, it was about time, and they had given her a hefty raise to come work at Inglewood every other week. She adored being in the countryside but she could still go back to Camden to see Ishmael. The young man's face always lit up when she came back. He'd tell her how much he missed her and asked when they could see each other again. Things just seemed to be going so well. She was completely oblivious to the threat that Alfie and Louise were well aware of. 

          That weekend, Evelyn was accompanying Louise to try on her wedding dress one last time and make sure everything fit. They were only going down the street, but Alfie insisted Ishmael and another young man go with them along with Cyril.

 

            “We’re not going downtown, we’re going to Nessa’s.” Louise told her fiancee, as he was busy sorting through shipment papers.

            “I know, I put a call into her this morning.” He didn’t look up from his work, his blue eyes peering from behind his glasses at Ollie’s slanted handwriting.

            “So I don’t need Ishmael and Nathan to come with us.” She said and knelt down to clip the leather lead to Cyril’s collar. Of course, she wouldn’t argue against taking him along. The mastiff’s tail wagged wildly, thumping against Alfie’s desk.

            “I’ll just be a block away, Evelyn and I don’t need to be escorted.” She argued and stood up.

            Alfie paused and dropped his papers to the side and opened the top left drawer. He pulled out a telegram and handed it to her without a word.

            Uneasy, Louise took the paper from his hand and unfolded it.

 

**Dear Mr. Solomons,**

**I hope to hear from you soon. I will be arriving in London soon. Mr. Shelby and his family have been notified.**

**Luca Changretta**

           

            She swallowed and absent-mindedly folded the telegram back to its original form. Her hands trembled. “What does he mean by notified?”

            Alfie’s jaw was tight from the worry he was attempting to conceal. He reached for his empty revolver and spun the barrel a few times to keep his hands occupied. At that point, he wanted to get rid of Luca himself just so the man didn’t interfere with his life. The gangster would be damned if that Italian did anything to disrupt his wedding plans. “I contacted Tommy, they’ve all received black hands in the mail.”

            “I’m not sure I know what that means.” Of course, she could guess it was nothing friendly. Cyril sensed her anxiety and pressed against her leg and nosed at her hand. She stroked his ears a few times to try and calm herself.

            “Death threat. Changretta’s marked them as dead, all of them.” He rubbed his eyes and placed his gun down. “Lou, m’not sure what he’ll do to get me involved.” He admitted wearily. The telegram had only arrived that morning but it had already drained him of his energy. “The Shelbys are fucking scattered ‘bout and aren’t speaking to each other like fucking children.” He sighed. “I need to play me cards right.”

            Louise wasn’t sure she liked where his line of thinking was going. “You better not be thinking about helping him.” She whispered.

            He put a hand over his mouth and averted his eyes. A clear sign of deception. “Didn’t say that, did I?” He muttered.

            “You were thinking it.” She accused. “Alfie, just try and stay out of it. You don’t have to team up with the Shelbys but you can’t help to kill them!” Her hand was wrapped tightly around Cyril’s lead as she tried to steer clear of an argument with him. She couldn’t risk getting into a fight a week away from their wedding.

            “Lou, I told you it weren’t that simple.” He stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her. He slipped the paper out of her hand. “Yeah?”

            Louise pressed her tongue to her cheek and exhaled steadily. “What are you planning to do?” It was the same question she asked months earlier when Luca sent the first telegram. But things had advanced even though Alfie had been static.

            “Wait.” He replied. “My focus is on our wedding. Changretta ain’t here yet so there’s no need to fret. The Shelbys will get their act together once they realize what they’re fucking up against. Whatever comes our way, yeah, we’ll handle it.” He lifted her chin gently.

            “I’m worried that your judgment may be clouded if Luca threatens us.” She admitted.

            A stormy look dashed across his eyes. “Sabini would be wise to inform them of the consequences.” His voice was low with anger. Even the thought of Luca going after Louise made his blood boil.

            She sighed and touched his cheek to distract him from his obvious displeasure. “I may be naïve to a situation like this. But I urge you to talk to me about it so you don’t make any unnecessary sacrifices.”

            Alfie had a feeling that she didn’t know how much he’d be willing to sacrifice if he was forced between a rock and a hard place. “There’s a Yiddish saying, right, ‘for a little love, you pay all your life’. I can leave this be.” He gestured to the telegram still in his hand. “You’ll go back to Inglewood tonight and get ready for the wedding.”

            Indeed they had spoken about traditions and which ones Alfie wished to respect. When Louise got word of her fiancee trying to bribe Rabbi Mayer, she had to step in and stop him from extorting a man of God. After the weekend, Louise would leave Alfie behind in Camden Town and they would be apart for a week for Kabbalat Panim. Now that she knew about Luca’s message, she was hesitant to leave just in case Alfie decided to make a move without telling her.

            “And what will you do?” She inquired.

            “Nothing.” He tossed the telegram onto his desk. “Just keep listening for news and stay neutral. Focus is on you, love.” He promised softly. “We’ll get married and be off to Paris ‘fore you know it.”

            “What about the Shelbys?”

            “Not much I can do, can I? Fucking got themselves in this mess.” He shrugged. “Tommy clearly has a plan, don’t he?”

            She nodded slowly. There was a knock on the door and Evelyn’s voice piped up from the other side. “Louise, are you almost ready?”

            “I’ll see you tonight ‘fore you leave.” Alfie kissed her forehead. “Try not to worry too much ‘bout all this. Nothing will happen until I decide what to do.” Of course, he couldn’t promise that. He had no control over what Luca did once he crossed the Pond. He could show up at the bakery door the same day he arrived with a proposition for Alfie. And he sure as hell didn’t have any clue what Tommy was planning. To say Alfie wasn’t worried about his wedding day being ruined would be a lie. He was desperate to make Louise happy and if his dealings interfered with that, he would be upset with the perpetrators, of course, but he’d also be upset with himself. She deserved a quiet life in Surrey with her husband. But with the danger looming, Alfie could only hope that they would have an interrupted wedding. After that, he could handle the chaos. He could take care of what he needed to and take care of whoever was in his way. Whether it was Luca Changretta or Tommy Shelby.


	23. Chapter 23

            _My Dearest Alfie,_

_Tuesday is our wedding day. I’m anxious to see you. I wonder if you’re happy yet nervous like I am. But there’s nothing to worry about. I know I’m truly marrying my soulmate. My best friend. The man who makes me feel so special._

_I love you,_

_Soon-to-be Mrs. Solomons_

 

            Alfie smiled and read through the letter a few times. He studied her familiar handwriting, the swooping penmanship that danced across the page. Looping letters and embellished swirls to finish them off. Ishmael had delivered it to him that night, the night before the wedding. The week had dragged on and it was hard to bear another night. But the reward for his seldom-practiced patience was worth it. Absence truly did make the heart grow fonder.

            Alfie picked up the framed picture of Louise that always sat on his desk in their Camden home. Her soft smile shone even in the black and white photograph. His thumb grazed over the glass frame and he couldn’t wait to see her in white the next day.

 

            Louise never imagined she would wear a wedding dress. When she married Daniel, she wore one of her everyday dresses for the legal ceremony. But she assumed it was love so she was content. After realizing her mistake, she didn’t see a way out and that meant she would never really find the man she was meant to be with. When she met Alfie, she couldn’t have guessed he was the one for her. Even when she fell for him, she didn’t imagine herself marrying him until he admitted he loved her. Now the seemingly impossible was coming true.

            She had the wedding dress made to reflect her mother’s dress. Lily and Robert’s wedding portrait hung in the parlor of Inglewood. Lily wore a Victorian style gown with a train that trailed out of frame; the front was a typical ball gown skirt with a gathered front. The fitted corset and long sleeves were very outdated. So Louise enlisted the help of Nessa, a skilled dressmaker in Camden.

            She’d cried when she first tried on the dress. The skirt of the dress was much slimmer than her mother’s but it ended in a similar train. The bodice was fitted with quarter sleeves to both honor her mother and keep it modest. It was simple but beautiful and Louise was overcome with happiness.

           

            “Did you sleep at all last night?” Evelyn asked as she carefully took out the curlers in Louise’s hair. “I heard you get up a few times.”

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Louise winced. “I just kept tossing and turning, I thought it would be better to walk around.”

            “S’alright.” She smiled. “I can imagine you’re excited.” Her delicate fingers made sure every curl was perfectly in place.

            “I’m sure you’ll be just as excited the night before your wedding with Ishmael,” Louise replied coyly.

            The young woman blushed and shrugged. “If he ever proposes. My mother is getting more impatient than I am.” She giggled and gathered up the curlers to put away.

            “He will soon.” Louise knew this for a fact. Alfie had heavily hinted to his driver that he should grow a pair and propose. This included several threats that if Ishmael hurt Evelyn, Alfie would beat the shit out of him. But that was to be expected.

            Evelyn smiled and sat back down to pin the veil into Louise’s hair. “I can’t wait to see Mr. Solomon’s face when he sees you.”

            “I can bet what he’ll say.” Louise laughed softly as Alfie’s voice echoed in her head. The same phrase he used whenever she showed him a dress or lingerie piece that he found particularly pleasing. _Fucking hell._

            “And you’ll be off to Paris tomorrow morning! How exciting.” Evelyn sighed softly and made sure the veil hung perfectly.

            “I’ll make sure to buy you something nice,” Louise promised and ran her fingertips down the lace veil. She took Evelyn’s hand to stand up, making sure she didn’t step on the hem of the dress. “What time is it now?”

            “Just after noon.” She answered and knelt down to adjust the train of Louise’s dress. “They should be ready downstairs soon. I think Alfie's greeted all of the guests.”

            Louise had greeted the guests earlier that morning. An array of people, some she knew and some she had never met before. They were all gracious in their blessings even if Louise wasn’t the typical Jewish bride. She had a feeling that those who really had a problem with it either wouldn’t show up or wouldn’t say anything in fear of Alfie’s reaction. They gave her wishes in Yiddish, some of which Louise started to pick up on. She hadn’t mentioned it to Alfie, but she’d tried to learn the language of his parents and Russian as well. It was slow because of the unfamiliar alphabet, but there were three words she learned by heart. The words she would say to Alfie a million times over.

 

            Inglewood’s garden was bursting with colors. Birds fluttered around the lawns and bumblebees buzzed from rose to rose. That afternoon, the hum of wedding guests joined the calming but joyful noise of the countryside. It was a warm day, not a cloud in the sky and hardly a breeze to feel. It was as if Alfie had threatened Mother Nature herself to make the day absolutely perfect for his bride.

            But he was still nervous. He fidgeted in the front room, waiting to see Louise and perform the Badeken. An older man employed by Alfie was officiating the wedding so Jewish traditions had to be adjusted. At that point, the gangster was too anxious to marry Louise that he hardly cared what people thought about the event. He was just itching to tie the knot and escape to Paris with her.

            The door opened and Evelyn nodded for her employer to come into the parlor. The veiling was a tradition that he wanted to share alone with Louise. But it was tradition to have family members around. So Evelyn and Ollie stayed in the parlor as Alfie entered. Louise was standing near her parent’s wedding portrait. She positively glowed when she smiled.

            Alfie stopped dead in his tracks. His chest tightened and he inhaled sharply. Everything about her looked like a dream. He had no idea she looked so perfect in white. For a brief moment, he wondered if he was still awake and being visited by an angel.

            “Fucking hell.” He whispered.

            Louise giggled softly and reached out a hand to him. “You look so handsome.” She murmured.

            He had to remember how to move his feet to approach her. He took her gloved hand and kissed the satin over her knuckles. “You look fucking gorgeous, love.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Can’t believe you’re marrying me.”

            “Who else would I marry, you silly man?” She touched his cheek. “I only love you.”

            “Say it again.” He pled softly. He needed to hear those words from her. There was no way in hell he'd ever get tired of hearing them come out of her mouth.

            “ _I love you.”_ She repeated herself in Yiddish.

            His lips parted and his eyes widened in shock. “Where’d you learn that from, clever lass?”

            She only shrugged and smiled coyly. It was a little surprising that he hadn’t seen any of the books she’d been sneakily reading to learn the language.

            He laughed and kissed her forehead. “ _I love you.”_ He echoed in his native tongue. He touched his forehead to hers for a moment, savoring the quiet moment with her. “Are you ready?”

            She nodded, her skin brushing against his. “More than you’ll know.”

            He smiled warmly and reached up to place the veil over her face. He kissed her hand one more time. “See you out there, then.”

 

            “ _The sound of joy and gladness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride.”_

            Most of the wedding guests had never seen Alfie Solomons smiling so much. They were much more accustomed to the hardened man. But he softened considerably when he was standing beside Louise. Not that he was paying any attention to the people around him. He only had eyes for his wife. And once he shattered the glass under his foot, he realized he was a married man. Everything his mother had ever wanted for him was starting to fall in place.

            ‘Mazel tov’ echoed across the lawns of Inglewood, adding to the joyous summer afternoon.

            Alfie lifted Louise’s veil and touched her cheek. Her hazel eyes were warm and shining in the sunshine. He said fuck it to tradition and kissed her so everyone could see. The world needed to know that Louise was now his and he was hers.

 

            While the reception commenced, Alfie and Louise retreated to their bedroom to observe the Yichud tradition. But he promised her that the first time they made love, as a married couple would be in Paris.

            “Mr. Solomons?”

            “Yes, Mrs. Solomons?” He beamed and shut the door behind him. A few of his men stood guard at the stairs to keep the rest of the wedding party at bay.

            “Everything was perfect.” She drew him close and kissed him deeply. The day had brought her into such a state of bliss. There wasn't anything else to think about other than how much she adored her husband. It seemed Inglewood had the ability to completely remove her from the chaos that was London. 

            He took her face in his hands, indulging in every sensation that rushed through his bloodstream. When they parted for a breath, he affectionately stroked her cheek. “Nothing but the best for me wife.”

            “Will you finally dance with me tonight?” She asked hopefully. “I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough.”

            He chuckled and brushed a curl away from her face. “Men and women usually don’t dance together at Jewish weddings.”

            “Then dance with me here.” Louise didn't want to have Alfie go through any more grief than he already had about his interfaith wedding. A few men teased him about it and he nearly blew up. Some of his mother's friends scolded him. But he wasn't swayed. 

            “Can’t hear the music from up here.” He shrugged. “Guess we’ll have to dance downstairs in front of everyone.”

            “Alfie, your friends and family will never let you hear the end of it.” She sighed and shook her head.

            “Well, it’s our fucking wedding, innit? They can all go home if they don’t like it. N’fact we could just sneak away now and go to Paris early.” His eyes lit up with mischief.

            “We have tickets for the morning, not tonight. You’ll have to be patient and entertain your guests until then.” She scolded teasingly. Her arms looped around his neck to keep him close.

            “Rather be entertaining you, love.” He growled playfully and scooped her up in his arms.

            “Mr. Solomons!” She squealed. “I’m a married woman!”

            He laughed and set her down on one of the sofas in the master bedroom. “Have to say though, we’ve neglected one of me favorite English traditions.”

            “And what would that be?” She tilted her head to the side as he knelt down in front of her.      

            “S’a little scandalous for this lot, but I’ve got you all to myself, don’t I?” He slyly slipped a hand under her skirt.

            Louise jumped a little in surprise but didn’t stop him. “Alfred Solomons, are you attempting to steal my garter?” She accused in faux shock, pressing a hand over her heart.

            He replied by hooking her leg over his shoulder. “Was patient this week, weren’t I?” He grinned and continued to run his fingers up her leg, just barely grazing over the sheer stockings. 

            “I suppose you were.” A deep red blush spread over her cheeks. Electricity shot up her spine and made her shiver. “You stayed in Camden like you were supposed to. I half expected you to show up before the week was over to come and see me anyway. I guess you really restrained yourself. I know you probably missed sleeping next to me.” 

            “Yeah, instead I had Cyril taking up most of the fucking bed." He shook his head. "And after this, I hafta go out and entertain this lot. And I ain't really looking forward to it, right, 'cause s'fucking dull, innit?” He pulled a bratty face until he reached her garter, snug against her thigh. With a smug smile, he tugged it down to her ankle. Taking care so it didn’t snag, he guided the lace garment over her heel.

            “Are you going to put that back?” She cocked an eyebrow.

            “Nah, love.” He stood up and pocketed the garter with a sneaky smirk. “S’mine now. Finders keepers and all.” He flashed a grin and held a hand out to her.

            She took his hand to stand. “Cheeky.”

            “You wouldn’t have me any other fucking way.” He kissed her hand, his blue eyes looking up to her. “C’mon then, I’ll show you how fucking awful of a dancer I am.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, this chapter was tough to write and I don't really like the way it came out. But hopefully the next one I'll have some more inspiration.

 

            To save some face, Alfie and Louise ducked out of the reception and into the cool summer night. The sun had just fallen and the sky was dyed a lovely shade of rose and lavender. The celebration was in full swing, loud cheers of congratulations bounced back and forth even though the bride and groom had snuck off. It seemed Alfie’s community would give him shit about the marriage a little later. That night was reserved for having fun and enjoying the company of friends and family.

            The bright lights from the newly furnished Inglewood lit up the patio a bit. The music could be heard from outside and the sun had left a lasting warmth.

            Alfie drew his wife close, resting a hand on the small of her back and the other holding her hand. He made sure there was little space between them. He pressed his cheek to hers, the touch intimate and affectionate.

            “I think today might just be a dream.” Louise murmured as they began to sway back and forth together. It was a little offbeat from the music but they were more focused on each other’s touch.

            “Well if we wake up tomorrow and it’s a dream, we’ll have to do it again.” He smiled.

            She laughed softly and cuddled into his chest. “Alfie, you’ve made me so happy. I just want you to know that.”

            “You’ve made me happy too, Lou. Never thought I’d be married, yeah, let alone married to someone as perfect as you.” He kissed her temple and ran his fingers up and down her back.

            They danced for a bit in silence, content to only listen to each other’s heartbeats. After a song or two, Louise picked up her head and glanced over Alfie’s shoulder.

            “Oh, look!” She gasped softly. Her eyes lit up in joy.

            “What?” Alfie turned as she drew away from his arms and walked past him. He followed her into the garden. “You see something?”

            “It’s a lightning bug!” She made her way past large rose bushes, making sure her dress didn’t snag on the thorns.        

            Alfie stooped down to pick up the train of her dress. He was sure she didn’t want it to drag through the dirt but she seemed too thrilled about whatever she’d seen. “What’re you after, silly girl?”

            “Sh, you’ll scare it away.” She reached out into a thatch of foxgloves, cupping her hands over something Alfie hadn’t noticed yet. She turned and let him peer into her clasped palms.

            Inside a black bug began to light up. “Bloody hell, don’t see those in London.”

            “In the summer, my father and I would bring out jars to capture them in. Only for a little while, just to see them glow a bit.” She smiled warmly and watched the insect light up a few more times. “You knew it was summer when you’d see them in the gardens.” She opened her hands to let the lightning bug fly away.

            They both watched as it marked its path, blinking every so often. “I’m so happy to be back here.” Louise murmured and took Alfie’s hand. “Especially now that you’re here with me.”

            He lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. Surrey was beautiful, the countryside was a great change of scenery from London. But Alfie knew that he could live anywhere as long as Louise was by his side.

           

 

            Louise was thirteen the last time she had seen Paris. She often dreamed of visiting again. Daniel scoffed and said it was a waste of time and money. What was there in Paris that wasn’t in London?

            Alfie seemed to appreciate the city much more. Frankly, he was just happy to see his wife in awe of all the sites. There was much to see and do, but shopping, museums, and the nightlife could wait.

            Alfie and Louise made themselves at home in the luxurious hotel suite that had a stunning view of the Eiffel Tower. Anticipation built as Louise took her time to freshen up after the journey. Never a patient man, Alfie did his absolute best to wait for his wife. When she finally came out of the bathroom, he found it was well worth the wait.

            Louise was wearing a silky lilac slip with lacy stockings. The number was feminine but the short skirt added a note of mischief that had Alfie reeling.

            “Fuck…” He uttered in a low growl. “Look at you.”

            “Amethyst.” She chewed on her lower lip and turned in a small circle to show off the little number.

            He dragged a hand over his mouth and walked towards her. “Yeah, can see that.” He lightly rested his hands on her hips worried he would tarnish such a delicate beauty with his calloused hands.

            “Don’t be gentle with me now, Mr. Solomons.” She purred. Her hands rested over his to make him assert his hold on her.

            “Oh…Lou.” Alfie groaned and captured her lips. Heeding her prompt, he didn’t hold back. He picked her up and pressed her against the wall.

            Louise’s lips bruised against his as she wrapped her legs around his waist and knotted her fingers in his hair. There was little to nothing holding them back at that point. They were alone, married, and far away from London and the bakery. The rest of the world could fuck itself.

           

            The newlyweds tested their limits, hardly breaking apart for the rest of the morning and afternoon. Finally, it took Louise’s hunger and Alfie’s sore hip to bring them out of honeymoon bliss. Alfie let his wife rest while he went to get her a late lunch from a café across the street. She ate in bed while he dozed off for a bit. Once she was satiated, she lazily kissed Alfie’s jaw and neck until he woke up.

            “Will you take me out for some fun, Mr. Solomons?” She murmured.

            “’Course, love.” He kissed her softly and sat up. “Fuck, where did the sun go?”

            Indeed, the sun had started to dip below the horizon. The night air rolled in, breezing through the open windows.

            “That’s what happens when you waste the day away with your wife in bed.” Louise teased and got up to get dressed.

            “Oi, ain’t a waste. In fact, I think fucking you is the best use of my time.” He grinned.

            She rolled her eyes. “Well, if I don’t tire you out with dancing then you can have another go at it tonight.”

            That was more than enough of a temptation to get Alfie up and out of bed.

 

            Alfie knew he had everything in the world. Used to be he was never satisfied. He always craved more power, more money, more control. But now, he felt content with what he had.

            Louise turned heads and Alfie was delighted to have her on his arm. She wore a gold dress influenced by all the new styles. Short fringe gathered around her waist and beads adorning the bodice. She wore a sparkling headband with feathered accents, heels, and the glow of a newlywed. Before they’d left, Alfie had slipped a diamond necklace on her. Yet another wedding gift and not the last one by any means.

            Paris was dazzling at night. The city stayed awake with the bustling nightlife. Loud jazz music could be heard from nearly every door they passed. After dinner, they wandered around, taking in the artistic night scene. They ended up by the Eiffel Tower in a small park, with a lawn overlooking the monument. It was a bit quieter than the streets, so they found a bench to sit for a while.

            Louise felt like the city was perfectly in sync with her own heartbeat. She glanced up at Alfie smiled warmly at him.

            “What?” He murmured softly.

            “I’m just very happy.” She replied.

            He kissed her forehead. “It’ll stay like this.” He promised and took her hand in his. “Everything I can do, yeah, to keep you happy, I’ll do. This bit with the Changrettas, I can deal with. But I won’t be doing anything to harm you.”

            Louise was content on ignoring that looming worry during her honeymoon. But it was difficult to turn a blind eye to something that could send London and Birmingham into chaos. She didn’t want to get caught up between the Shelbys and the Changrettas. And she didn’t want Alfie picking a side. But she was still unsure how the game was really played. “I know you can’t just step to the sidelines.” She looked down. “I know they’ll try to use you.”

            “Ain’t no one gonna use me, love.” He ran his thumb over her cheek. “They sure as hell ain’t fucking using you either. You’ll be protected.”

            “I’m not worried about that.” She shook her head. They were safe in Paris; hardly anyone knew they were there. But it was hard to shake the feeling that they were being watched by potential foes. “I’m worried about what will happen to you or the company.”

            “Lou, nothing’s gonna happen, eh?” He tucked his fingers under her chin so she would look at him again. “I just don’t this to make you regret marrying me, s’all.” He admitted sheepishly.

            “That won’t make me regret marrying you.” She studied his blue-green eyes. There was a hint of guilt in them that she couldn’t ignore. “As long as you’re honest with me I won’t ever regret this. We’re stronger together and I know we can weather any storm.”

            Alfie sighed lightly and rested his hand over hers. His wedding band glinting in the streetlamp light. “Well, won’t hafta worry for the rest of the trip.” He straightened up and steered the conversation away from London. “I want you to enjoy yourself, right, else it wouldn’t be a holiday would it?”

            Louise smiled and nodded. “I’m already enjoying myself. Although I think I’ll be rather sore in the morning.”

            He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. “Well, it’s a honeymoon, innit? Got to get in all the fucking we can ‘fore we become an old married couple.” He teased.

            “Think we’ll ever lose the spark?” She rested against his shoulder and looked up to the top of the Tower where the French flag flew.

            “Nah.” He shook his head and kissed the top of her head. He knew that for a fact. Any morning he would wake up next to his Louise was a reminder of how kind God could be. But it was also a reminder of the things he could lose.


	25. Chapter 25

            The summer Parisian morning filtered into the room the next day. Alfie was fast asleep on his stomach, his arm thrown over Louise’s bare stomach. She smiled tiredly and stroked her husband’s back. Her fingernails grazed lightly over the planes of his muscles and each vertebra of his spine. She traced up to his shoulder blades and paused when she came across an unfamiliar mark.

            On first glance, it appeared to be an abrasion but she realized it was something wrong with the skin and not an external wound.

            Alfie began to stir underneath her touches. “’Mornin’ Mrs. Solomons.” He murmured in a gravely voice.

            “Alfie, what is this on your shoulder?” She asked, too concerned to reply to the greeting.

            He seemed to know exactly what she was talking about because he didn’t become alarmed. He merely shut his eyes again. “S’nothing.”

            “Alfie…” She warned him before he tried to sweep it under the rug.

            “Just psoriasis.” He muttered, kissing her shoulder to try and distract her.

            “You saw a doctor?” His wife didn’t give the subject up.

            “Yes.”                                      

            “Really?” She raised an eyebrow. Alfie would never go to a doctor unless she’d force him. She wasn’t even sure he would go if he had a bullet in his chest. “When? Who did you see?”

            It was clear Alfie wasn’t going to win this battle. He couldn’t lie to her because she’d see right through him, or worse, she’d go to fact check his claims. “No, I didn’t. But that’s probably what it is, can’t imagine it’s anything else.” He turned over onto his back, blocking her view of the mark.

            “What if it’s cancer?” She asked with worry heavy in her hazel eyes.

            He never liked seeing her so concerned over him. “It ain’t cancer.”

            “Alfie, you don’t know that unless you go to a doctor.” She urged. “Please, we can go home early…”           

            “Lou, m’not cutting our fucking honeymoon short because of a little welt.” He interrupted her. “I promise, s’nothing serious. Now c’mon, I think we should pick up where we left off last night.” His arms wrapped around her waist to bring her close again.

            Louise didn’t look to be in the mood. She chewed on her lower lip, not brushing aside her concern like her husband did.

            He grazed his lips over her neck but she turned away from him to refuse the advance. “Lou…”

            She swallowed and forced a smile. “I just have to go to the bathroom.” She replied and pecked him on the cheek before standing up. “I’d like to go to the Louvre today. Will you take me after breakfast?”

            Alfie propped himself up on his elbow to watch her slip on a dressing gown. “Yeah, ‘course love.” He agreed quietly. There was no ignoring the worry in her eyes. He’d been so sure he could hide it from her despite being on their honeymoon. It was most likely cancer, he knew that. Lots of men from the war came back with it because of the gas. The gangster was not afraid of death, even a painfully slow one like skin cancer. But he was terrified of the effects it might have on his wife. Cancer wasn’t like the other dangers in his life. He could disarm the disease or just walk away from it. But he’d hold on as long as possible to give Louise the life she deserved.

 

            Louise wouldn’t let go of Alfie. She made sure his arm never slipped from hers as they walked slowly through the grand museum. If he moved one way, she followed.

            He could sense her growing dread. She spent less time at each painting the longer they remained at the museum. She appeared preoccupied, her eyes only focused on one part of the paintings, not studying it as she might have done before.

            Alfie tried to engage her in conversation about the art to distract her. But she merely nodded or gave a nearly silent, one-worded response.

 

            “Seen this one in a postcard ‘fore.” They stood among other museumgoers in front of the Venus de Milo statue. “Not sure why she’s so famous without any fucking arms.” He smiled and gave a weak laugh.

            Louise didn’t even try to smile. She finally let go of his arm, slipping away from him and walking away without a word.

            Alfie’s shoulders slumped and he followed her. “Lou.” He trailed after her as she walked into another room. It was pretty empty, only a few people filtering in and out. “Louise.”

            She stopped and turned to him. Her eyes were filling up with tears. “How could you keep this from me?” She whispered.

            “I didn’t…” Alfie ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. “I didn’t lie to you, I don’t know what it fucking is, okay?”

            “You seem to have a hunch.” She crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together. The last thing she wanted to do was argue on her honeymoon, especially in a place like the Louvre. But she was scared.

            “Even if that’s what it is, yeah, there ain’t anything we can do ‘bout it, love.” He replied honestly. “I didn’t exactly ask to get it, now did I?”

            “I wasn’t blaming you I…” Her throat tightened and the room around her felt like it was caving in.

            Alfie heard her breathing getting shallower. He gently guided her to sit on a nearby bench in the middle of the exhibit. He touched her arms and hushed her softly. “You don’t need to cry over it, Lou. Everyone fucking dies eventually, don’t they?”

            That didn’t help and she hiccupped, her shoulders hunched and eyes down. “I don’t want to lose you.”

            “Louise, love, look at me.” He coaxed.

            She shook her head adamantly. “I’m not-I can’t lose you. You’re my life…I love you too much and I-”

            “Sh…” He touched her cheek to stop her rapid-fire, panic. “Just look at me, aye?”

            Her hazel eyes finally met his. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “It’s not fair.”

            “Life ain’t fair.” He wiped her tears away with his thumb. “Don’t mean we can’t make the most of it. We can have the time of our fucking lives, Lou, do everything you want and still have enough time left to rest and do it all again. I ain’t dying today.”

            She pressed her face into his shoulder and cried freely. “Promise me. Promise me you won’t leave me.”

            Alfie would wrestle with fate for as long as he could. He wouldn’t let Death take him away from her until he was absolutely sure it was time. “I promise.” He rubbed her back comfortingly. “Let’s make the best of our life, yeah? We’re in Paris for fuck’s sake.”

            He finally drew a tearful laugh out of his wife.

            “Yeah?” He smiled and kissed her hair. “We’ve got a lovely little place on the beach, we’ve got the bakery in Camden, and we’ve got a fucking mansion in Surrey. We need to have a kid to fill up all that space, don’t we?” He murmured adoringly.

            She nodded. “Yeah…”

            “Well, then, can’t have a kid if we’re all worried ‘bout the future.” He soothed. “Come what may, love, yeah?”

            “Come what may.” She whispered back to him.

 

            Alfie took Louise out dancing that night to further pull her mind away from the unknown diagnosis. He couldn’t hold a candle to the French youth who lived to dance to the upbeat jazz music in the thriving club scene. But he held her close and swayed with her as she talked in his ear over the loud band. They talked about everything that wasn't the mark on Alfie's shoulder. He did everything he could to keep her mind off of it and direct her attention back to the honeymoon that she deserved. 

 

            The next morning, Alfie took her to Luxembourg Gardens. A large fountain had toy sailboats that floated along, young children along the edges using long sticks to push them along. It was a beautiful summer day and no clouds inhibited the sun.        Louise sat down on the ledge of the fountain, watching the little boats. Her mind was still occupied with Alfie’s potential cancer. Although they had spoken about it in the Louvre, she couldn’t stop worrying.

            “Alright?” Alfie stood in front of her, leaning on his cane.

            She nodded. “It’s too lovely of a day not to be.” She shrugged and smiled slightly. “I’ll be okay.”

            “I’m sorry, Lou, I wish I could make it easier but…”

            “ _Pardon Monsieur, can I use this? My sailboat’s stuck”_ A young boy came up and tugged on Alfie’s sleeve. He pointed to Alfie’s cane.

            “Uh…” He looked to his wife.

            “He wants to use your cane.” Louise saw a lonely little sailboat that was static in the still water.

            “Oh.” Alfie picked up his cane and knelt down to try and steer the ship back to the edge. “Here it comes, back to shore.”

            The boy smiled and picked the boat out of the water. “ _Merci_!” He said before running off to find his parents.

            “It would so nice to have a little boy, don’t you think?” Louise wondered out loud.

            “Well, figure any child of yours would be polite.” Alfie shrugged and sat down beside her. He stretched out his legs and set his cane to the side.

            She smiled and took his hand. “I mean having a girl would be lovely. Either way, I would be happy. I just could see a little boy that looks like you. Blue eyes and all.”

            He chuckled and shook his head. He lifted his face to soak up a bit of the warm rays. “Wouldn’t want him to end up like me though. World don’t need another Alfie Solomons.”

            “No one could replace you, not even your own son.” She laughed softly and cuddled close to him.

            He kissed her forehead and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Tommy Shelby’s always talking ‘bout transitioning into a legitimate business.”

            “Could he?”

            Alfie shrugged. A light breeze blew through the park, the sailboats picking up speed. “S’pose it’s possible.”

            Louise grazed her fingers over his thigh and knee. “Maybe you could too.”

            He grumbled and tilted his head to the side. His hand came to rest over hers. His gold wedding band glinted in the sunlight. “Maybe. Maybe, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Luxembourg Garden sailboats began in 1927 but I remember going there as a child and having such fond memories so I wanted to add it to my fic.


	26. Chapter 26

            Alfie didn’t want to return to London and he had several reasons why. He knew the second they got back to Camden Town, Louise would be pushing him into a doctor’s office. The prospect of definitively finding out he had cancer was not on the top of his to-do list. He wasn’t sure when Luca Changretta was planning on appearing, but it had to be soon and Alfie didn’t want Louise in London when he _did_ show up.

            But they had to return sometime. Alfie was sure the men at the bakery had a long enough vacation. He needed to make sure he was still an authority figure.

            Louise woke up a little later than usual. Alfie hadn’t woken her up because he wanted to grant her the luxury of sleeping in. He’d left a note on his pillow.

 

            _Mrs. Solomons,_

_Thought you might want to sleep in a bit. It’s a lovely day out so I thought you might want to walk. If not, have Evelyn call Ishmael to bring the car around._

_Love, Alfie_

 

            Louise smiled and tucked the letter away to keep. She usually kept most of his letters because of her sentimental heart. After getting dressed, Louise began to walk to the bakery with Cyril. The bullmastiff was thrilled she and Alfie were back. He trotted alongside her, his ears perked up and listening to the sounds of the city around him.

            “Mornin’ Mrs. Solomons.”

            Louise glanced over to see two gentlemen she’d never met before in her life. Yet they had greeted her by name and tipped their caps in respect. “Oh, good morning.” She smiled but was confused. Despite the odd interaction, she kept walking. As she did, a few more unfamiliar people greeted her by her married name and a few mothers made sure their children didn’t run into her path. It was peculiar. Never before had she been treated that way in Camden or anywhere to be precise.

 

            “Mornin’ Louise.” Ollie greeted her at the door. He took Cyril’s lead from her.

            “Ollie, has my husband been threatening the town to be nice to me?” Louise asked.

            “Threatening…well, I don’t know ‘bout that.” Ollie walked with her on her way to her desk. “Think people are glad Alfie’s married now. Takes the edge off him a bit, doesn’t it?”

            “I suppose. But I don’t want people treating me differently.”

            The young man shrugged. “I wouldn’t question it. He’s happier now and wants the world to know he’s married. It’s better than grumbling about the hot weather.”

            Louise smiled. “It sure is.”

 

 

 

            “Right, let’s see,” Alfie grunted as he climbed the stairs of the elegant building, his hips stiff as a board. His protection followed as they approached the railing that overlooked the viewing ring below. The man scoured the crowd until he saw a familiar face among the elite members of British society.

            “Tommy Shelby.” He clapped the man on the back.

            The Blinder was with the majority of his entourage. Johnny, Michael, Curly, John, Michael, and Arthur. They all visibly flinched as the gangster descended on them without warning. The other two eldest Shelbys instinctually reached for their handguns tucked away inside their coats.

            “Easy lads, easy.” Alfie held up his hands to symbolize peace. “This is a posh event, this is. Not looking to get blood on the walls of this fine place now, am I?”

            Arthur and John grimaced but withdrew their hands from inside their coats when their brother waved them off.

            “Alfie, this isn’t your usual haunt.” Tommy leaned up against the railing, a cigarette hanging from his lips per usual.

            “Yeah, well, the missus has a birthday next week.” Alfie rested on his cane to try and ease the pressure off his hips.

            “Heard you got married Alfie, how’d you manage to pull that one off?” John asked a smirk crossed his face as he did his best to goad on the unpredictable man.

            Michael chuckled and shook his head. “Probably kidnapped her.” He added.

            “You’re, a funny one, ain’t you?” He wasn’t in the mood to be played with because he was focused on Louise’s present. But he wouldn’t let the Shelby boys get the last word. “Nah, mate, your brother sent her my way, right?” He placed a hand over his heart. “And she’s fucking perfect in every way, innit she, Tommy?”

            A hint of a smile crossed Tommy’s face but he didn’t comment.

            “’Course she fucking is. And I tell ya what.” Alfie stepped closer to Michael and John. “When you’ve got your own firm and you’ve got a right gorgeous woman bent over your desk with a diamond the size of your pea-sized brain on her finger, you call ol’ Alfie, and I’ll laugh at your jokes all fucking day.” Normally, he wouldn’t be so crass when talking about his wife. But it was the Shelbys and Louise wasn’t there to scold him.

            Michael and John stared at him, mildly thrown off by the raunchy description but didn’t say anything in return.

            “Yeah?” He nodded curtly and gave them a smug look. “Good lads.”

            Tommy rolled his eyes but smiled. “Right, you lot, fuck off.” He said and shooed them away.

            “Tom…” Arthur was hesitant as he eyed Alfie suspiciously.

            “S’alright, go on.” He insisted. The group obliged but stayed on the second floor just in case. “We were happy to hear the wedding went smoothly.”

            “Yeah, well, we’re very happy too. Bought the estate that’s been in Louise’s family for-fucking-ever. This place, s’got beautiful pastures and a stable. So, figure it could use some animals.” Alfie shrugged. “My Lou grew up riding, grew up in a right wealthy family, she did. Now she’s got me and I still think she deserves those bits of luxury. And if there’s one man who knows best ‘bout horses, it’s Thomas Shelby. 'Cause I don't know a thing about these fucking beasts.” He poked the man in the shoulder.

            He smiled and nodded. It was refreshing to see Alfie gushing over spoiling his wife instead of threatening to shoot him. “What did you have in mind for her?”

            “She likes them thoroughbreds but those fuckers have hot blood, don’t they? Want to get her something safe, even-tempered, sound. Don't want her getting thrown.”

            “So, you want a horse with a personality opposite of yours.” The blue-eyed man teased deadpan and flicked a bit of ash off his cigarette.

            “Well, she’s got me already, don’t think she needs two of me.” Alfie was a little more willing to Tommy make jabs at him. He’d probably earned the right a while back after all the times Alfie held a gun to his head.

            “Right, I’ll help you.”

            Feeling at ease despite the unfamiliar setting, Alfie set his cane to the side and rested his forearms on the railing in front of them. “Buying another racehorse?”

            “Looking to, yeah.” Tommy’s eyes followed the horse in the ring but didn’t seem interested because he didn’t join in on the bidding.

            “How’s your boy? How’s Charlie?” He’d gotten a bit better at small talk, mostly because of Louise and moving out to the countryside. The elderly neighbors down the road decided to introduce themselves and Louise had to stop Alfie from bringing his gun to the door. Now Mr. and Mrs. Wilson treated Louise like she was their daughter and thought Alfie was just a gem. It was probably the first time anyone had, aside from his wife, and it made him feel uncomfortably strange. He had to chalk it up to Louise painting him in a holy light.

            “He’s good,” Tommy answered, his eyes lighting up as they usually did at the mention of his son. “Turning three next month. He's getting to be so tall for his age.”

            “Fucking hell, those little things grow like weeds. ‘Fore you know it he’ll be out being a Peaky Blinder, fucking up Birmingham.”

            Tom smiled and shook his head. “Promised Grace he’d be kept away from all that. We’ll be a legitimate business by then anyway. Won’t grow up the way I did.”

            Alfie nodded but didn’t believe anything of the sorts would become a reality. Their world was just a cycle. He’d mulled over the idea after his discussion in Paris with Louise. But he wasn’t sure it was ever possible. Of course, he would do anything for his wife but sometimes the lifestyle just didn’t mesh with hopes and dreams.

            “How about you and Louise? Setting up to have kids, eh? Bet it’s a fucking big house for just the two of you.”

            He scratched at his beard. “Well, we discussed it, yeah? I guess we’ll cross that fucking bridge when it comes. Still, in that honeymoon time, it really mucks up your brain, don’t it?”

            “Can’t have Alfie Solomons off guard, now.”         

            “Yeah, well.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Now, what ‘bout that one?” He asked when the next horse was led out. “Beautiful, innit?” Alfie wanted something gorgeous for his new wife and he thought the eye-catching black mare would do just the trick.

            “Looks like a Friesian.” Tommy watched the horse. “Seems quiet enough. You’ll want to get it properly trained either way.”

            But Alfie had already decided and began bidding.

 

            “Again?” Louise had sighed but smiled when her husband wrapped a tie around her eyes to blindfold her.

            “We’re not going far.” He promised. “S’your birthday, Lou, you need at least one surprise.”

            The July morning was warm but not unbearable like it had been all week. There was a light breeze traveling through Surrey and it kept Inglewood a bit cooler. It was barely nine in the morning and Alfie had already showered his wife with gifts. But he made her wait until after breakfast for the biggest surprise.

            “It’s outside?” Louise asked when she heard him open the back door. The summer sun kissed her face and arms. The sound of the bees buzzing in the garden gave her an idea of where they were. 

            “Well, couldn’t have it in the house, could I? Would be too big and make a mess of everything.” He chuckled and led her down the path to the stables. He kept one arm steady on her shoulder and held her other hand to guide her. 

            “Hm…too big to have in the house? Is it a car?” She guessed.

            He laughed and shook his head. “F'you want a car, love, you’ll have to wait for the holidays. It’s not a car.”

            “Well, then what on earth wouldn’t fit in the house?”

            He squeezed her hand. “I s’pose that’s the thing ‘bout surprises, you’ve got to wait to find out, silly girl.”

            Louise stuck her tongue out at him and pouted. “Really, Captain Solomons? You’re teasing me on my birthday? I don't think that's very kind of you at all.”

            “I think this’ll make up for it.” They arrived at the stables and Alfie waved for the newly hired stable hand to bring out Louise’s present.

            “Can I see now?” She asked and reached for the blindfold.

            “Sure.” He slowly untied it, letting her wait a few more moments.

            Louise heard a soft nicker and the familiar sound of hooves on the gravel drive. Her heart skipped a beat as she figured out what the present was. She gasped softly when the blindfold was finally removed. “Alfie!”

            The stunning Friesian stood a few feet in front of her. The mare tossed her head, shaking out her long mane. She was proud in stature with a well-defined form and a glossy coat. It reminded Louise her favorite book as a young girl,  _Black Beauty._ A gorgeous horse as black as night with an alluring quality about it. 

            “Tommy Shelby helped me pick her out,” Alfie explained. “D’you like her?” He asked hopefully.

            “Oh, Alfie, she’s gorgeous.” Louise approached the mare, letting her sniff her hand. The young horse eagerly searched her for any treats, her muzzle grazing over the waist of her skirt. “Sorry, love, I don’t have anything to give you right now.” Louise stroked her hand over the mare’s silky black coat.

            Alfie kept his distance. He was not familiar with horses in the slightest and a little unnerved at how big the mare’s hooves were. He thought it was remarkable that Louise was so comfortable around her. “She’s five-years-old, already broken in. But I figured we could hire someone to train her. Tommy’s got a woman he trusts. Said she could come here to help.”

            Louise nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve ridden.” She admitted. The Friesian let her stroke her cheek and fuss over the tiny white patch in the shape of a crescent moon under her forelock. “What’s her name?”  

            “May Carleton, she doesn’t live too far from here. Trains Tommy’s horses for Epsom.”

            “No, no, the horse’s name.”

            “Oh, well.” Alfie dug through his pocket to pull out the certificate for the mare. “Midnight in Surrey. But I figured you could give her a proper name and not that fucking mouthful.”

            Louise thought to herself for a moment as she affectionately stroked the horse’s neck. Several names flitted through her head all with deep meaning to her life, but she came up with one that was very special to her. “I want to name her Paris.” She decided.

            “Paris?” He nodded and smiled. “Seems like a good fit to me.”

            Louise drew away from the mare. She hugged her husband tightly and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

            “I love you too, love, happy birthday.” He murmured. If only they could stay in that moment. A warm summer day in July. London was far away and there was no use worrying about it. But once the sharp chill of winter arrived, everything would change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was set kind of around the time that the Shelbys were splintered after their arrests. But I sort of glossed over that. We'll return to the regularly scheduled canon after this chapter.


	27. Chapter 27

            Fall changed to winter and Louise was finding it difficult to try and keep Inglewood warm enough. She’d nearly forgotten how drafty it was sometimes. Their home in Camden was much cozier even if there wasn’t a fire running all night.

            Other than the chill of the frosty air, Louise didn’t mind the winter. London wasn’t sweltering and she wasn’t always a sticky, sweaty mess by the time the day was over. No, in winter she could indulge in the fur-lined jacket Alfie had bought her in Paris on their honeymoon. She thought it was too soon to think about the winter, but was glad when the snow began to fall.

            Although things were going well between the couple, there were things looming. Often times, Louise couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched. And she couldn’t get Alfie to go to the doctor and get a diagnosis for his skin. But he always had an excuse and she couldn’t exactly force him. And she could only prompt him so many times. Besides, they had other things to focus on and Alfie was good at distracting Louise from his health.

 

            It was their first time they would celebrate Hanukah as a married couple. As usual, they would go to Ollie’s home. The young man had a large extended family and hardly enough space for all of them. But he always invited Alfie and Louise because he knew they didn’t have much family to speak of.

            The Jewish community in Camden was starting to accept Louise even if she hadn’t converted. She made friends with some of the other newly wedded women or new mothers. Her Yiddish was getting better and she tried her best to fit in. They were welcoming, especially Ollie’s family, but Louise couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that she hadn’t seen the suffering most of them had.

            On the night of the celebration, Louise came downstairs. Alfie stood by the door and smiled when he saw her. She wore a simple dress, nothing fancy or anything revealing. But she wore a thin scarf to veil her hair. All of her Jewish friends who were married wore something similar. They said it was a tradition to show they were married. Louise wanted to respect the tradition during a holy celebration and she wanted people to know she and Alfie were married. As if he hadn’t gone around Camden and told every single person he came across.

            Alfie’s face softened. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. There she was, right in front of him. His wife. “Ready, love?” He asked. His blue eyes were full of pride.

            She nodded and smiled. “Ready.”

 

            _“Alfie, look at you, you’re too thin.”_ An older woman scolded the man and pushed a plate stacked with food towards him.

            “ _Tante Raisa, I have already eaten,”_ Alfie replied in their native tongue. He and Louise were mingling after dinner and saying hello to all the people they hadn’t seen since last holiday season. Although they were all Ollie’s relatives, they acted as if Alfie was linked by blood too. Some had known Alfie’s family, especially Perle since she’d been so active in the community before her death.

            It was quite a different experience seeing Alfie among people he considered family. They weren’t afraid of him, making jokes at his expense, clapping him on the back, and boisterously laughing along with him. But Alfie seemed to enjoy the company and never once resorted to his business tactics.

            He was especially happy to announce he was married.

            _“Tante,_ you remember Louise.”

            The woman smiled. “Of course, of course.” She set the plate that Alfie had rejected aside and held her hands out to Louise. “I heard you were wed in the summer. Mazel Tov!” She congratulated.

            Louise beamed. “Thank you.”

            “Alfie, what a catch.” Raisa touched Louise’s cheeks. “Look at those beautiful brown eyes. How perfect they’ll look on a healthy baby boy.” She exclaimed.

            Alfie laughed a little nervously. It had been a while since they brought up the subject of a family. He’d agreed to it but now things were getting a little more serious. He wasn’t sure it was the right time.

            “ _May you live to lead your children and children’s children to the wedding canopy!”_

            “Alright, thank you _tante_.” Alfie guided Louise away. “Got nothing on their mind but bloody children.” He muttered under his breath.

            Louise hadn’t quite understood the entire blessing but picked out a few words. “They’re just excited.” She soothed.

            “Any kids of ours won’t even touch the floor for the first year of its life.” Alfie shook his head but let a small smile through. “They’ll just be passed from one person to the next.

            His wife smiled and touched his cheek. “You have been thinking about it though.” She pointed out with a sly look.

            “Hmpf.”

 

            The first year or so they were together, Alfie had given Louise a Christmas present. But this year, they gave each other all their gifts during Hanukah. So there was no need to celebrate it. Most of the bakery didn’t either so it was just another day of work.

            Except it was a blustery, gray morning with flakes of snow whipped about in the wind.

            Louise frowned at the conditions outside and decided it was much more pleasant in bed with her husband. She pushed the curtain back in place and snuggled closer to Alfie.

            He yawned and stretched. “Be time to get up soon.” He said.

            “It’s far too cold out.” Louise disagreed.

            “Alright, then you stay here.” He moved to get up but his wife latched onto him.

            “No, then I’ll be cold without you.” She pouted. “Stay.”

            He chuckled and kissed her cheek. “You always think you can get whatever ya want with those damn eyes, yeah?”

            She smiled and shrugged coyly. “Usually works.”

            He raised an eyebrow and sighed. “How ‘bout one more hour.” He bargained.

            Louise was more than happy to agree because she had a feeling she’d be able to get another two hours out of him.

 

            The morning took a turn for the worst. About fifteen minutes into their extended nap, Evelyn knocked on the door. “Mr. Solomons, Ollie’s on the phone. He says it’s urgent.” She explained from the hallway.

            Alfie groaned and pinched his eyes shut. “Yeah, right, I’ll be there in a second, Lynn.” He replied.

            Louise loosened her grip on him. “Come back.” She pled softly.

            “’Course, love, I’ll only be a mo’.” He smiled and pecked her lips before getting up and throwing on pants and a shirt.

            He was gone for much longer than planned. Enough time for his residual heat in the bed to fade. Louise coaxed Cyril up onto the bed and to take Alfie’s place. The man was gone long enough for the dog to settle and eventually doze off, drooling on his master’s pillow.

            Finally, Alfie returned to the bedroom. But he was in a much different state than when he left. He headed over to the dresser. “Cyril, fuck off there.” He shooed he dog off the bed. But he didn’t get back under the covers as planned. Instead, he began to get dressed for work.

            “Alfie?” Louise picked up on his frantic energy. Something Ollie told him had set him off. “What happened?”

            He shook his head but knew he had promised some transparency. He grunted as he sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots. “John Shelby was gunned down ‘bout a few hours ago.”

            Louise put a hand over her heart. “No that…” She got an acidic taste in her mouth. She got a nauseous feeling in her stomach and the room seemed to spin. In a moment, she dashed off to the bathroom and became ill.

            Alfie went to hold her short curls away from her face. “S’alright, love.” He rubbed her back. “Easy…”

            Louise staggered back to her feet and rinsed her mouth out. She rubbed her eyes and took a shaking breath. “Did you know?”

            “What?”

            “Did you know he arrived?” Louise knew who killed the Shelby brother. It had to be the man who was vowing to kill the entire family for months.

            Alfie swallowed and rubbed his hands together. “I didn’t know for sure.” He admitted. “He sent another telegram last week but it was just like the other ones.”

            Still feeling sick and faint, Louise went to sit back on the bed. “What are we going to do now?” She asked.

            “We’re going to be smart ‘bout it.” He replied. “No walking about by yourself, aye? Make sure you’ve got some protection.”

            Louise nodded quietly. She wasn’t going to argue with him. Suddenly, the world around her didn’t feel safe. She put a hand to her stomach as more nausea came over her.

            Alfie noticed her face paled. “Maybe you should stay home if you’re not feeling well.” He murmured and touched her forehead to see if she was running a fever.

            Louise circled her fingers around his wrist. “I’m scared.” She whispered honestly.

            “You don’t have to be, Lou, I’ll take care of you.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ve got to get to the bakery though. You’ll be alright here?”

            She nodded absent-mindedly and let her hand fall from his wrist. “I’ll be okay.”

 

            After Alfie left, Louise went downstairs to talk to Evelyn. She seemed unaware of John’s death or Luca Changretta setting foot in the country. “Mr. Solomons said you were feeling ill, can I make you anything to eat? Maybe fetch you something from the chemist?” The young woman asked.

            Louise shook her head. She didn’t want to be alone in the house even though she had seen some of Alfie’s men lingering by the building. “No, Lyn, thank you. I think I’ll try and eat once my nausea’s passed.”

            “Can I draw you a bath?” Evelyn suggested. “Might make you feel better.”

            “Actually that does sound lovely, thank you.” Louise passed by the front windows and paused for a moment. She watched a few people pass by and her mind traveled to a dark place. What if someone just stopped, pulled out a gun, and shot her down. What would be stopping that person?

            Evelyn went to go upstairs to start the bath.

            “Oh, Lyn, before I forget, will you send flowers to the Shelbys in Small Heath?” Louise stopped her.

            The maid looked confused. “Flowers?”

            “One of their family members passed and I wanted to send my condolences. But wait Ishmael can bring you. Alfie wants to make sure we’re both safe. Things are changing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tante: Aunt


	28. Chapter 28

            Louise sank into the hot water, letting out a long sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and took a few deep inhales of the lavender soap. It was a welcome distraction but it didn’t last long. She did everything she could to block out the noise in her head. All the panicked thoughts overlapping one another, each one getting louder than the last.

            _Just focus on the good._

            Alfie.

            Cyril and Paris.

            All the new friends and family she’d gained. Evelyn, Bess, Anya, Vera, Maxine, Ollie, and Shayna, plus their children. Tante Eva, Bubbe Bluma, Tante Raisa.

            Louise opened her eyes when a random memory popped back in her mind. Raisa holding her cheeks and complimenting her eyes. The lines around her eyes showing as she smiled warmly.

            _“Look at those beautiful brown eyes. How perfect they’ll look on a healthy baby boy.”_

            The room around her went too quiet and still. She was motionless in the bathtub, the water a sheet of glass around her. Cyril lay beside the tub, his droopy cheeks resting on his large paws. Faint sounds from Evelyn in the kitchen traveled up the stairs. A car passed by outside. But her ears hardly registered the sounds.

            Slowly, as if weighted down with lead, she lifted a hand to her stomach. There wasn’t much to feel. Cool air touched her skin, steam rising up. Could there be something there? A child? Alfie’s child? Her child?

            Louise sat there dumbfounded. She didn’t even have the ability to recall the date to fact check. Was it Christmas? Or Christmas Eve? Perhaps it was Boxing Day already. She chewed on her lip and tried once then twice to count the weeks. But the dates were muddled and she couldn’t pinpoint a number.

            Breaking out of her daze, Louise stood and reached for the towel placed nearby. Cyril lifted his head and trailed her movements across the room but stayed in his spot on the floor.

            Louise paced for a bit, unaware of her shivers from the sudden shock of cold air. Finally, she stopped in front of the vanity. Color had returned to her face, her cheeks flushed pink from the hot soak. She dropped the towel and stared at her abdomen as if waiting for the answer to appear in writing on her skin. She twisted left then right to see any indication of pregnancy. Her eyes began to play tricks and she couldn’t tell if her bare midsection actually had a small bump or if she hadn’t changed at all.

            Ready to face facts, Louise donned a dressing gown, quickly tying the belt and going downstairs. Cyril followed, sensing some of her distress.

            “Lyn, have you seen my diary?” She asked while searching through Alfie’s study. Her still damp hands left trails of water droplets over the wood desk and parchment.

            “I think you left it in the parlor. I thought that’s where I saw it last.” Evelyn called back.

            Leaving Alfie’s office, Louise finally found the book on the side table in the parlor. She stood over it, rifling through the pages.

            Evelyn came from the kitchen. “You weren’t up there very long. Did you get sick again? Are you hungry?” The young woman noticed Louise’s harried nature.

            Instead of answering, she searched the book, scanning over Alfie’s meetings and scribbled notes next to her own neat handwriting.

            “Louise?” Evelyn grew more concerned by her silence. The woman’s face began to go pale again. “What’s wrong?”

            Finally, she found the mark, the mark that Alfie always overlooked because he thought it was simply one of his wife’s doodles. A small flower tucked away in the corner of the Monday nearly eight weeks earlier.

            Struck by a frigid wave of shock, Louise slumped onto the couch. A hand covered her mouth and she stared at Cyril. The bullmastiff sat in front of her, his sad eyes searching her face.

            She’d been so caught up in the Italians, the holidays, and Alfie’s condition that she hadn’t noticed how late she was.

            “Louise,” Evelyn repeated and touched her forehead to see if she was running a fever. “Should I call for Alfie or a doctor?”

            “N-no.” Louise finally managed to get a word out. “No, Lyn, no.”

            “You’ve gone white as a ghost…”

            “I’m pregnant.” The words felt odd in her mouth. Ever since she was a young woman, she hoped she would be able to say those words. She thought about how joyful the occasion would be. Pregnant with her husband’s child. Then Daniel had nearly convinced her she was barren. She lost hope until she fell in love with Alfie. Then she couldn’t quit thinking about their family together. But the world had suddenly become so dangerous. Charlie Shelby was kidnapped right out from under Tommy’s nose. Grace was gunned down. So was John Shelby. Was it really the world she wanted to raise a child in?

            “That’s wonderful.” Evelyn’s soft voice interrupted Louise’s gloomy thoughts. The young woman came from a community that celebrated a growing family. “You must be so happy.” She smiled warmly.

            Louise’s lips parted and she struggled with the words. “I am…I know I am. I guess I’m just scared as well.” She whispered, her eyes still fixed on Cyril.

            The dog whined and went to place his head in her lap. His nose prodded at her abdomen as if he knew about the child.

            “Should I call Mr. Solomons? You can tell him the news?” Evelyn suggested.

            “No,” Louise replied firmly and shook her head. “No, he can’t know. Not yet. Not until I know what he’s doing about…” She sighed and wrung her hands together. “Just, not yet.”

            Evelyn wrinkled her brow but nodded. “Alright, then, I won’t tell anyone.” She promised. “But, Louise, it will be okay.”

            “I want it to be, Lyn, I really want it to be okay.”

 

 

            “Is Louise coming in? I was looking for some of her notes.”

            “Nah, still sick.” Alfie kicked shut a filing drawer. It had been three days since Christmas. Three days since John Shelby had been killed. Three days since Louise discovered the secret she’d been keeping from Alfie. But he didn't suspect anything. He merely thought she'd caught a stomach virus, nothing too serious. Although the longer the time she spent resting, the more he wondered if he should do something.            

           “Still?” Ollie frowned and looked up at his boss. “Should take her to a doctor.”

            His boss gave him a stern look and dropped a heavy stack of books onto his desk, nearly crushing Ollie’s fingertips in the process. “You tryna insinuate I don’t take care of me fucking wife?”

            “No sir, of course not. I was just…”

            Alfie decided it wasn’t worth blowing his stack over. He sighed heavily and sat back down. He rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. Of course, he wanted Louise to go to the doctor but she was being just as stubborn as he was being. He woke up to her throwing up in the bathroom nearly every morning and night. “I told her to go but she won’t. Says it innit that bad and that she can work. But it’s certain stuff that triggers it, like nothing I’ve seen ‘fore. Evelyn can’t make eggs in the morning or Lou will get sick.”

            “Oh… _oh.”_ Ollie’s eyes widened in realization. Shayna had been pregnant more than enough times for her husband to know the symptoms. In fact, their third child had caused her to have an aversion to eggs as well. “Sir, she could be pregnant.”

            “What?” Having never spent too much time around a pregnant woman, Alfie had no idea what to look for. He just sort of assumed he’d notice a bump first. He’d seen her dressing every morning and night, hell they’d even made love on Christmas Eve. Yet, he didn’t notice anything.

            “Morning sickness, pregnant women get it in the first few months,” Ollie answered. “It’s pretty common.”

            “S’not just in the morning.”

            “Well, his assistant tilted his head with a shrug. “It’s sort of just what they call it, could be any time of the day.”

            Alfie groaned and put his head in his hands. “Fucking hell.” It was the last thing he was expecting. It was also the last thing he needed. He was already worried about Louise’s wellbeing and now she could possibly be with child? “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” He stood up with a grunt and grabbed his coat.

            “Sir?” Ollie turned in his seat as his boss left the office in a hurry and cursing the entire way.

 

            The winter months had made the stiffness in Alfie’s hip unbearable. But he ignored the ache and ran to his home. By the time he arrived, his cheeks were red from the jog against the brisk wind. He used his key to enter, pushing through the entryway like a tank.

            Evelyn had a nasty shock as Alfie stormed through the rooms without a knock or a warning. “Mr. Solomons-”

            He ignored her and found Louise curled up in the parlor. Her feet were tucked to the side, a wool blanket resting over her lap, Cyril guarding by her. The bullmastiff stood and snarled at Alfie when he approached Louise too quickly.

            Startled, the gangster halted. Never had the dog, or any dog for that matter snapped so viciously at him. Cyril had been protective over Louise but hadn't ever seen Alfie, his own master, as a threat before. “Cyril…”

            Louise glanced up from the book in her hand. “He’s been a pill all morning. Won’t let anyone near me, snapped at Evelyn.” She rested a hand on Cyril’s head to calm him. “Sh, love, you know who that is, silly thing.” The dog calmed down and hopped up onto the couch to rest his head on her feet. His eyes watched Alfie cautiously.

            Alfie was breathing heavily, the cold air stuck in his chest. He stood in front of his wife, not sure what to even say. The words were lodged in his throat.

            Louise met his eyes. “Why are you home so early? Is everything okay?” She worried Luca Changretta may have shown up at the bakery. And yet, she didn't think the Italian-American would spook him so much. 

            “You pregnant?” He asked abruptly.

            Louise’s eyebrows knit together in worry. She swallowed and chewed on the inside of her cheek before answering. “How do you know?”

            Alfie’s shoulders slumped and he paced a few steps. Her response was enough of a confirmation for him. “Fuck, Lou, you knew?” He demanded and ran a hand over his beard.

            “Not for very long.” She flagged her page, closed the book and set it aside. Then, she nudged Cyril to the side and removed the blanket from her lap, setting her feet on the rug.

            Her husband grumbled incoherently, muttering something to himself. The shock was too much for him. Very few things surprised him so badly.

            “Alfie, look at me.” She pled quietly from the couch. He turned and his blue eyes finally returned to her. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was waiting for the right moment. I didn't want you to be angry.” Her voice weakened to a faint whisper. 

            He dropped to his knees in front of her. “Lou, m’not angry.” He prefaced. His lower lip wavered as he took a shaky breath. “M’not, I promise, m'just...”

            Louise touched his cheeks, concern riddling her face. “But you’re worried. I am too. Alfie, I'm so worried.”           

            He sighed and dropped his head. “Yeah.” He admitted. “Fucking terrified for more than one reason.”

            “What’s going to happen?” She asked, her thumb making a soothing circle over his cheek. 

            “Nothing bad will happen,” Alfie assured her. “Nothing. You’ll be perfectly safe, yeah, there’ll be hell if someone tries anything. I’d like to keep it ‘tween us and people we can trust though. You tell anyone else?” He asked.

            Louise shook her head. “Only Evelyn.”

            “Good, good.” He rested his hands on her hips and took a few more breaths until he felt somewhat at ease again. He'd handle much more before. He could handle this with some sort of grace. All he wanted was for Louise to have her paradise and give her comfort. The pregnancy would be as simple as he could possibly make it for her. “Fucking hell.” He chuckled breathlessly. “Gonna be a father.”

            She smiled and felt tears in her eyes. “The best father.”

            He touched her abdomen. “Can’t fucking believe it. I mean, honestly, Lou, I dunno if I’ve really…” He scrunched up his face. Suddenly, he was so overcome with adoration for his wife that he wanted to shout out to the world. Instead, he had to swallow back tears of joy.

            She laughed and kissed his forehead. “I know. I suppose it’ll feel more real when I’m showing a bit more.”

            “Right, well, I’ll call the doctor ‘round.” He decided. “Ollie’ll have a doctor he trusts, yeah. Probably the one that delivered his kids, aye?”

            Louise frowned and gave her husband a disappointed look. “Alfie, you cannot tell me to see the doctor when you’ve been avoiding the same thing for ages.”

            “Ain’t about me right now.” He mumbled. There was no way he was going to think about his condition right after he found out he was going to be a father. How could he be a father to his only child if he had cancer? No, best to ignore it for as long as he could.

            “It is about you. I want to know that you’re going to be okay so we’ll have a healthy family. All three of us. I'll need you by my side through this.” She coaxed gently. “Please.”

            “This takes priority.” He replied firmly. Because from that moment forward, Louise and the child were his number one priorities until the day he died. Nothing would change that.

            “You take priority too.” She argued and pressed a hand over his that was on her stomach.

            “Lou-”

            “It’s non-negotiable, Alfie. In fact, I think I’ve been pretty patient despite how worried I’ve been about you. And it’s not healthy to worry while I’m pregnant.”

            He groaned and threw his head back. She wasn’t playing fair in his eyes but he also couldn't blame her. He was a pain to deal with sometimes, he was well aware of that. “I will when the time is right…” He attempted to push off her worry, sparing himself more time. 

            “The time is right now.” She interrupted.

            “No…”

            “Alfie, either you get examined or I’m not going.” It was a pretty harsh ultimatum, and Louise felt a little guilty about it. Of course, she wanted the best for her unborn child, but she needed to know Alfie would be okay too.

            He pulled a bratty look but sighed in resignation. It seemed his wife had spent enough time around him to learn his tricks of negotiation. Everything or nothing. “Fine.” He caved in.

            “Thank you.” Louise kissed his cheek. “It’ll be okay. But we need to know for sure.”

            Alfie stayed kneeling in front of her, hugging her close. She cradled him close to her chest so he could hear her heartbeat. He closed his eyes and imagined hearing the heartbeat of his child. But his stomach was in knots all the same. He didn't want Louise to know how scared he was. Scared to find out he was dying. Scared to know that he might not even see the birth of his first and only child. Scared that Louise would be left alone in the world, left to raise the child by herself. The child never knowing who he was. He pressed closer to Louise and closed his eyes tighter. His breathing became more shallow and he felt like the room was caving in on him. He prayed. 

            _Please, Lord above. Let me see the child. Let me live. I've never begged you to live. Now I'm fucking begging. Let me live._


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one of my favorite scenes. Alfie's "Who the fuck am I" speech just completely defines him as a character.

            Louise sat outside the door into the doctor’s office. She waited patiently for him to finish up with speaking to Alfie after the examination. She was undoubtedly anxious as she waited but at least he was seeking help.

            Finally, after about half an hour, Alfie came out. He stopped in front of his wife for a moment. His eyes searched her face as he summoned the courage to speak.

            “I’m sorry.” He muttered before passing by her and leaving the office.

            Confused, Louise looked to the doctor who was standing in the doorway. Her stomach twisted up and she felt sick. There was a large part of her that was in denial. Of course, she’d been worried about the possibility of cancer, but she thought it was just an overreaction. She wanted so desperately to be wrong. But judging by Alfie’s reaction and the look on the doctor’s face, she had been right all along.

            “Why don’t you come in, Mrs. Solomons.” He let her into his office.

            She came and sat across the desk from him.

            The man, Doctor Cecil Stephens, was a kind man with much compassion for his patients. He was well known in the Camden community for being one of the best doctors in the area. He’d been in practice for quite some time but had yet to formally see Alfie Solomons as a patient.

            Of course, he knew the gangster, it was hard not to when his practice was in the Jewish man’s domain. He’d treated many of Alfie’s men, people who came in beaten an inch of their life, ones with bullets lodged in them, or a missing body part such as an eye or finger. With this pattern, Cecil naturally assumed that he would come across Alfie one day. And most likely it would be under violent circumstances.    Instead, the man arrived that morning with his wife by his side. He looked grumpy, but it was merely a ploy to hide his worry. Once behind doors, Alfie explained the issue and showed him the abrasions that were starting to form on his skin. The man was uncharacteristically quiet and sat stiffly through the diagnosis.

            Cecil had seen many reactions in his time as a doctor. It was difficult to predict someone’s response to a terrible fate. If anyone were to react violently, he assumed it would be a man with such a reputation as Alfie Solomons. So it was a surprise to see Alfie merely walk off, leaving his wife.

 

            “Mrs. Solomons, I’ve examined your husband and spoke to him.” Cecil sat down and looked through the notes he’d taken. “I’m afraid he’s developed a form of skin cancer.”

            Louise sucked in a sharp breath and felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “I…I don’t understand. How?”

            “Well, there is still a lot of research being done on cancer. Unfortunately, it’s in the early stages. However, I’ve seen many men like your husband, veterans who were affected by the gases used in battle.” He explained with the same gentle tone he used for all his patients and their family members.

            “Y-you can do something for him, right?” Her voice was small and she clutched helplessly to her handkerchief.

            “There are therapies that are still being developed but we aren’t sure the long term effects. Radiation has been proposed in recent years, but it’s unknown if it helps.” He was sympathetic to the woman. Alfie had told him they were just wed in the summer and they’d only just found out she was expecting. A cancer diagnosis certainly wasn’t expected or desired.

            “That…that’s simply not good enough.” Louise stammered. Her heart began to race. She would not lose her husband. She refused to bury him so soon. “There _must_ be something you can do.” Her voice rose and her breathing became shallow. The office closed in on her and she panicked. No, it had to be a nightmare. She would wake up and learn it was nothing more than a treatable condition.

            “I’ll try everything I can to try and ease his pain, but it’s unlikely it’ll be treated completely.” Cecil kept a calm demeanor.

            Louise suddenly stood, nearly kicking her chair back from the sharp movement. “You’re a fucking doctor, you’re supposed to be able to help him!” She shouted. “I’m not going to let my husband die!”

            Not half a second after her outburst, Louise felt strong hands leading her out of the doctor’s office. “That’s enough, Lou,” Alfie said firmly.

            “No! He can’t just not have answers!” She fought against her husband’s hold but he was still much stronger than her.

           “No use in yelling, yeah? C’mon.” He muttered a quiet apology to Doctor Stephens before escorting her outside to the car.

            Once he got her in the backseat, Louise burst into hysterical tears. “He’s lying. That’s not what it is. We’ll find another doctor. Someone who’ll know better.” She rambled through her tears.

            Alfie embraced her close. “Sh, sh, s’alright, love.” He wasn’t going to argue with her when she was in such an irrational state. “Try to breathe.”

 

            Louise spent most of the afternoon in a huff and crying off and on. Alfie stayed home with her, leaving a list for Ollie to finish at the bakery. For most of the time, he sat quietly while Louise kicked up a fuss. She ranted about, pacing through the parlor with Cyril at her heel. The next moment she was curled up in Alfie’s lap sobbing.

            He did his best to comfort her but his mind had gone to a dark place. He thought about getting his affairs in order. Editing his will to include his son or daughter. Louise would need help if he died. He couldn’t leave her with nothing, especially with a child. He figured he could divide up his estate, leaving most of it to Louise, some to Ollie and his family, and the rest to the several Jewish charities he donated to. That would give him more peace at night.

            Yet, money couldn’t heal her wounds if he were to pass. He wanted to berate himself for letting her get so attached. If she didn’t have him, then it wouldn’t hurt as much when he died. He assumed for a long time that when he died, the majority of those who knew him would be happy. Mean ‘ol Alfie Solomons would never again bother them. He didn’t anticipate having a devoted wife and child.

            Now he was anxious for their well being when he was gone. Would his enemies take advantage of her? Could he guarantee her safety if he wasn’t there protecting her?

           

            Ollie arrived at the home late that night. He came in with a list of the things he’d completed and any messages he’d gotten that day.

            Louise had exhausted herself and passed out in bed even before dinner. Alfie was glad she could finally get some peace after the difficult day.

            He greeted his assistant at the door.

            “How’s Louise?” Ollie asked. “Did she go to the doctor yet?”

            Alfie grunted and nodded as he flipped through the telegrams. He didn’t want to tell anyone about his cancer. The last thing he needed was for his enemies to think he was weak and easy to overthrow. “She’s asleep.”

            “Well, Shayna offered a few things for the baby.” The young man said. “If you’d like, I can bring them soon.”

            Alfie’s heart wrenched. “Yeah, mate, thanks.” He mumbled.

            It was clear to anyone, especially Ollie who had spent so many years as his right-hand man, that something was seriously wrong. “Sir, are you alright?”

            The gangster stared blankly at the words in his hand. He wasn’t really registering the typed words. All he could read was **Shelby Company Ltd.** But his mind was too overwhelmed to really understand the meaning of the words. “Ollie…” He glanced up from the telegram. “If anything were to happen to me, would you make sure Lou is kept safe?”

            His assistant furrowed his brow. “Sir?”

            “Just hypothetically.”

            “Well, ‘course.” Ollie shrugged. “She’s like family now.”  

            “Yeah…”

            The two men stood by the front door in silence. The only sound came from the grandfather clock in the hall and Evelyn preparing a light dinner for Alfie.

            “Sir, are you expecting something to happen?” Ollie asked cautiously.

            Alfie frowned. “’Course not.” He retorted. “But it ain’t like I’m a fucking saint, am I, Ollie?”

            It only made the man further confused. His boss never worried about his occupation killing him. He was confident enough to assume he’d always get away or was brave enough to accept death. Ollie figured perhaps his mindset had been altered by the news of the pregnancy.

            Alfie exhaled sharply and shook the fog out of his head. He was still alive. Wasn’t dead yet. He still needed to work. “What the fuck does Tommy want now?” He demanded.

            “Asking about Goliath. He said he heard he was a boxer.” Ollie explained the telegram in his boss’s hand. “Says he wants to set up a match.”

            “Really? While he’s got Changretta on his tail? Fucking crazy gypsy.” He grumbled. “Wants to make a spectacle of it all, well, fine. Give me nephew a ring tomorrow morning then Tommy. We’ll brave the beast and go to Small Heath.”

 

 

            Goliath had arrived early the next morning. Alfie filled him in by the door and they were about ready to leave for Small Heath.

            “Alfie?” Louise had panicked when she woke up to an empty bed. She went to the top of the stairs, clutching her dressing gown shut.

            Goliath had never seen such a shift in his uncle’s gruff demeanor before. He’d seen Alfie interact with Louise during holidays. That’s where the two had met for the first time. But there was something about the two being in their own home in the early morning that caused a change. It was a brief glimpse into the intimate relationship they upheld when no one else was around.

            “Yeah, love.” Alfie traveled halfway up the stairs to meet her. “You alright?” He murmured.

            She nodded. “Where are you going?” Her voice was hoarse from crying the day before and her eyes were still red.

            “Birmingham, have to see Tommy.” He explained with full clarity. After the cancer diagnosis, he felt like he owed her at least some honesty.

            “Can I come?” She chewed on her lower lip and touched his arm.

            Alfie weighed the risks. No doubt Luca Changretta was watching Tommy’s every move. He didn’t want the Italian to know about Louise, but he’d be a fool to think the man didn’t already know. Alfie also knew it would be a suicide mission if Luca tried to make an attack in Tommy’s own backyard. If anything, she might be safer there with both his men and the Blinders surrounding them.

            “Alright, love.” He nodded. “Go get dressed, take your time.” He descended the stairs again when Louise returned to the bedroom.

            Goliath gave Ishmael a side-glance. The young man just shrugged and nodded. He’d seen the effect Louise had on his boss since day one. The adoration of a woman was a powerful thing, indeed.

            Speaking of a woman's affection, Evelyn came out of the kitchen. She smiled and fixed Ishmael’s collar. “You be careful.” She warned. “No fighting.”

            The man sported a goofy smile. “Me? Don’t know what you’re on about Lyn.” He replied.

            She raised an eyebrow and shook her head. “Cheeky.” She gave him a smirk and left the men by the door.         

            Ishmael cleared his throat and had a hard time concealing how happy he looked. Goliath looked utterly perplexed. Was there something in the water?

 

            Louise was quiet during the car ride to Birmingham. It was like she was trying to ignore the day before. Maybe if she didn’t bring it up, it wouldn’t be true and it would just fade away.

            Alfie could sense all the types of denial his wife was experiencing. And it pained him to know he couldn’t ease her burden. All he could do was hold her hand.

 

            Small Heath was just as gray and gloomy as Louise remembered. Alfie looked displeased as he got out of the car.

            “Come to Small Heath, you’ll go to hell for fucking breathing.” He muttered as he helped his wife out of the car.

            “It’s quiet.” She noted. In fact, it was completely deserted, not a soul walking around. It left a strange feeling in the air and she felt like they were being watched.

            “Stretch your legs, treacle,” Alfie said to his nephew. “Fuck me, looks like he’s grown. He’s like a mushroom, innit he, grows in the dark.”

            Louise smiled and lingered near Alfie. She couldn’t shake the strange feeling that the empty street gave off.

            “Where is everyone?” Alfie checked his pocket watch. “Ishmael, please, will you hit the call to prayer?”

            “Did you tell Tommy a time?” Louise asked but was interrupted by the car horn.

            “Mhm, loosely.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Well, hit it!” He ordered his driver again. The car horn echoed through the street a little longer. Alfie rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you.” He pushed past Ishmael and laid on the horn.

            Louise sighed and stood by the hood of the car, listening to the unrelenting noise. A moment later, Tommy came out of one of the homes on the street. He nodded at Louise and she gave him a silent apology for the antics so early in the morning.

            Alfie didn’t quit until Tommy was stood right in front of him. “Morning Alfie.” The Blinder greeted.

            “Yeah, it is, so how come everybody’s in fucking bed?”

            “This must be Goliath.” Tommy acknowledged the young man taking a piss on the sidewalk. “Let me introduce you to David.”

 

            “I hear you’re probably more in need of the old rum at the moment, rather than gin, mate.” Alfie led Louise by the arm as they were brought down into the cellar that had been converted into a distillery. There was a fierce chill in the air and Alfie slipped off his scarf to wrap it around his wife. He stopped when he heard a flutter of wings and warbling coming from above them. “Oh dear, you’ve got fucking starlings, mate. That shit will rot your pipework.” Alfie reached into his coat to draw his gun. “These bastards only understand one language.”

            “Alfie!” Louise grabbed his wrist to stop him from loading the gun. She knew he was armed but only because Tommy probably expected him to be. Even she had brought her gun. It wasn’t a time to walk around unarmed.

            “S’alright Alfie, I’m getting a kestrel,” Tommy explained.

            “I hear that you’ve got Italians, mate, you’ve got a kestrel for them?” Alfie inquired deadpan.

            The two men continued talking as Louise lingered around the small distillery. She glanced up to the ceiling and saw the starlings that Alfie had spotted. One of them stared back at her, cocking its head. She followed it as the bird hopped across a pipe towards a small nook in the corner. A bundle of debris had been constructed into a nest and when the mother approached, four little heads popped out. They chirped, their mouths open wide to receive food. The mother perched at the nest, checking over her chicks.

            Louise’s gut wrenched. What would happen if Tommy got a kestrel? Would the bird of prey eat the mother and the babies, or would it just rid of the mother leaving the chicks to starve to death? Where was the father? Would he arrive just to find his family all gone? Could animals feel the same heartbreak that they did?

            “And you just cannot wash it out, right, ‘cause it come out your mother’s tits.”

            Louise glanced over, completely baffled by the snippet she’d heard of their conversation. She left the birds and walked over to the two men.

            “No, the Americans’ll want it sweeter.” Alfie set down a glass of gin.

            “Do you drink, Louise?” Tommy offered a glass to her.

            “No thank you, I’ve been feeling under the weather.” She explained knowing the alcohol would only make her feel worse.

            “I heard a copper got shot,” Alfie spoke, unafraid to talk about such issues in front of Louise. He knew she’d find out eventually. “Who shot him?”

            “My kestrel.” Tommy offered a seat to Louise by the table.

            “How many are here?”

            “Eleven.”

            Louise shot her husband a look of uneasiness. Eleven men were more than enough. And they had yet to visit them in Camden. As far as she was concerned, it was only a matter of time until that day.

            “Enough to drop a man who wrapped his balls in an OBE till they fell off,” Alfie said with a smug look.

            Louise just shook her head, knowing it wasn’t worth the effort to try and get him to be a bit politer.

            “Well, the real question is, Alfie, which side are you playing for, aye?” Tommy was almost glad Louise was there with them. He had a feeling her husband wouldn’t lie about loyalty right in front of her.

            “Fucking hell.” Alfie chuckled darkly, the brim of his hat casting a shadow over his eyes. “What kind of world is it to bring up children when your own mate can ask you that question?”

            Louise glanced down at her hands on her lap. Indeed, what kind of world was it?

            “But the truth is, Tommy, you’ll be fucking dead soon.”

            “Alfie.” She gave him a sharp look. “Don’t say that.”

            “S’alright, Louise,” Tommy assured her. “We’ve all got our opinions, don’t we Alfie?”

            “Tommy, there are men approaching.” Finn came down into the cellar.

            “Yeah, let them pass.” His brother waved them in. “Right,” he turned back to Alfie. “You tell Darby Sabini, from me, that if the Italians win, they’re not planning on leaving. After me, it’ll be him, then you, then the Titanic. They’re coming and they’re here to stay.”

            Alfie’s eyes were cold on his counterpart. His jaw clenched and Louise could see his thoughts running rampant. But he couldn’t get another word in before another group of men came downstairs.

            “Mr. Shelby, we’ve come to talk about the fight.”

            Alfie raised an eyebrow and pointed his cane at the man. “Your kestrel? Tommy, when a pikey walks in with hair like that, you have to ask yourself, have I made a mistake?”

            “Who the fuck are you?”

            “Who the fuck am I?”

            “Who the fuck is this?”

            Louise pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh dear.” She whispered. Tommy, however, looked amused at the ensuing battle.

            “I, my friend, am the uncle, protector, and promoter of that fucking thing right there.” He jabbed his cane towards his nephew who was lurking in the background like a misplaced tree. “In whose shadow nothing good nor godly will ever grow. That there, right, is the Southern County’s welterweight champion.”

            “Alfie…” His wife tried to step in but he was already too far gone to stop.

            “He is of mixed religion, therefore he is godless. He was adopted by Satan himself before he was returned out of fear of his awkwardness.”

            “Alfie.”

            “He is impossible to marry off, due to his lethal dimensions. His mother. Terrified, she’s fucking abandoned him. And there he is, stood before you like the first of some brand new fucking species!”

            “Alfie, that’s quite enough.” Louise implored him again to stop. “They get it.”

            “And that, mate, is me wife. She’s the exact fucking opposite, ain’t she? Fucking angel. The world ain’t never seen such a gorgeous creature and the fuck if I know why God let me in her presence. Yet here I am, accompanied by a fucking demon and an angel and you’ve got the absolute fucking nerve to ask me who the fuck I am?”

            Louise couldn’t help but smile a little bit. Endearing yet chaotic.

            “So, will you offer your son?” Alfie inquired, ending his little rant.

            Aberama glanced over at his son with a sly nod. Bonnie smiled and stood up straight. “Name the day, Mr. Shelby.”

            Louise looked back and forth between the size differences of the two young men. She stood and felt a wave of nausea. Her face paled and she looked up at the ceiling when she heard the starlings grow a little louder.

            Big fucks small.

            Blood pounded in her ears and the scent of gin began to make her dizzy.

            “Whoa, whoa!” She heard Alfie exclaim as she stumbled forward, the world going black.


	30. Chapter 30

            Louise slowly regained consciousness. She’d never fainted before in her life so the experience was frightening upon waking.

            “Easy.” A voice soothed when she tried to sit up too quickly and got another wave of nausea. A gentle hand guided her back onto the sofa she was lying on. "Can't get up too fast." 

            “Where am I?” Louise blinked a few times and looked around.

            “Birmingham.” Polly smiled and rested a damp cloth on the woman’s forehead. “You fainted, luckily Alfie caught you just in time.”

            She felt uncomfortably clammy and still dizzy. “Where is he?”

            “Downstairs with the other men.” Tommy’s aunt answered. “Had to push him out of the room to give you some space to breathe.” Polly had been taken aback by how devoted Alfie appeared. He’d come upstairs in a full panic with his wife in his arms. He shouted that they needed an ambulance but Polly was quick to calm him down. She wasn't aware the man had such a capacity to care. 

            Louise closed her eyes, relieved that everything was okay. She took a few deep breaths and feeling began to return to her hands and feet. Still, nausea lingered. 

            “When are you due?”

            The question alarmed her. Had Alfie told Polly about the baby? She thought they were keeping it under wraps at least until they couldn’t hide it anymore. “I uh…I don’t know…” She opened her eyes.

            “It’s okay,” Polly assured her and removed the cloth from her forehead. “I won’t tell anyone, not even Tommy.”

            Louise nodded slowly. “I should be ten weeks along, I think.” She answered.

            “Here, try and sit up to drink something.” Polly helped Louise prop herself up against the arm of the sofa. She handed her a cold glass of water. “Do you want to know the gender?” The older woman asked.

            Louise took a few sips of the water and frowned with confusion. “I didn’t know it was possible to know before they were born.”

            “Some have a gift for it,” Polly informed her.

            “Huh…” Louise smiled slightly. “Thank you, but I think I’ll wait. I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise for Alfie. He's impatient but sometimes likes to be surprised by good things.”

            That’s when her husband burst through the door. “She alright?” He’d waited long enough downstairs and refused to linger around another second. He trusted Polly wouldn't harm Louise, but he was still on edge about the pregnancy.

            “She’s perfectly fine,” Polly assured him. “She probably just didn’t eat enough this morning. You need to make sure you’re getting enough food for the baby.” She told Louise and stood up.

            Alfie frowned when she mentioned the baby. He hadn't said anything to the woman when he brought her upstairs. And Louise had agreed they wouldn't tell anyone. “Right…”

            “I’ll let you two have a moment,” Polly said and left the room.

            Louise finished the water and saw the look of worry on his face. “I didn’t tell her.” She clarified. “She just figured it out. Says she could tell me the gender of the baby too.”    

            “Gypsies,” Alfie muttered with an eye roll and went to kneel by her side. “You sure you’re alright? Fucking scared me half to death when you just fell over like that.”

            “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting it either.” She touched his cheek. “But I’m alright now. Guess I can't skip breakfast again like that.” She smiled and tried to ease the tension on his shoulders.

            “Shouldn’t’ve brought you here. Didn’t want you to hear all that.” His jaw clenched. He should've trusted his initial gut reaction when she asked to accompany them to Birmingham. Small Heath wasn't a place for her. 

            “Not even when you said I was an angel?” The color began to return to her face.

            He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m sure, right, that you already knew.”

            “You’re sweet, Mr. Solomons.”

            “And you, yeah, are the fucking love of me life, Mrs. Solomons.”

 

            After the fainting spell in Birmingham, Louise was put on bed rest for at least two weeks. She returned to Inglewood for fresh air and took along some medical books she’d requested from the library. It would help pass the time in the dead of winter without him in the countryside. Alfie eyed the books when he drove with her to Surrey.

            “What’re those for?” He grunted when he slid into the backseat of the car.

            “Just something to read while I’m on bed rest.” She answered simply.

            “Yeah? Something ‘bout cancer in there?” He asked when the car began to start down the road.

            “So what if there is?” She challenged and side-eyed him. “I can read about whatever I want.”

            “That wasn’t me point.” He grumbled and fidgeted with the rings on his finger. “M’just saying, Lou, you shouldn’t waste your fucking time. There ain’t anything in that book that’s gonna heal me. The doctor knows what he's talking about, don't he?”

            Her husband’s cynical view didn’t deter her. “I can still read them.” She pointedly looked away from him. She rested a hand on his knee but kept her eyes focused on the streets of London passing by them.

            He grumbled but didn’t put up a fuss. Instead, he focused on her hand. It never failed to make him feel blessed, albeit confused. She was petite to begin with, but something about the delicate nature of her hand baffled Alfie. Especially when she chose to remain so close to him. The odd comparison between her and him was ever present. Her skin was pale from the persisting English winter, soft from floral scented creams she’d bought from Paris during their honeymoon. The sapphire on her engagement ring shone just as brightly as the day he picked it out for her. She was diligent in keeping both it and her wedding band clean and polished.

            Such ornate beauty compared to him. He picked up her hand, letting it rest in his palm. His tattoo just visible, several scars poked out from under his sleeve, his cancer was beginning to spread across his already rough hands. Marred and worn down, he never wanted to taint her appearance. Yet she never moved far away. Her orbit was snug around him. A magnet undeterred by disfigurements.

            Precious and the rings on her finger reminded him that she was his. His ring, the one he loved the most, reminded him that he was hers. He smiled to himself and lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles.

            She glanced over and smiled. “I have a present for you back in Camden.”

            “Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. “So I hafta wait till I get back to see it?”

            “Yes, you’ll have to be a bit patient.” Louise teased. “It’ll be good practice for you. Children require patience, Alfie.”

            “I can be patient, love. I would wait for you for decades if I had to.”

 

            Alfie returned to Camden Town the next morning. Louise had managed to convince him to stay the night at Inglewood. As she’d instructed, he returned home and went into the china cupboard in the parlor. On the second shelf was a box.

            He sat down, resting the box on his lap to open it. A folded note rested on top of the white fabric that was folded inside. His wife’s handwriting was neat and clean across the piece of parchment.

            _For you for Yom Kippur. These past few days, I’ve found myself very upset with God. I could not understand why he would allow such a thing to happen to the person I love so dearly. And yet, I know that He must see the same good in you that I see. These trials we face will be difficult, but I am confident that we will come out just as strong. But I leave a lot of it to you, as there’s only so much I can do as your wife. I hope that you find the strength that I know you have to fight this adversary. You are not the man that others make you out to be. You are the man I love. And who God loves as well. I’m sure of that._

 _Love, Lou_  

            Alfie felt overwhelmed when he finished reading the note. He closed his eyes for a second so he wouldn’t cry. Only his wife could bring him to tears with just written words. He took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes and taking out the present. It was a beautifully made tallit with blue stripes near the hem and the traditional knotted fringe. He smiled and held it for a long while, sitting motionless in the parlor.

 

 

            It snowed a few days after Louise arrived at Inglewood. The grounds covered in a good deal of sparkling snow and icicles forming on the eaves of the home. It was a sight to see the crystal scenery left behind, but the freezing temperature was hard to fend off with only fires and quilts. But the cold didn’t keep her from leaving the drafty home. Bundling up in her fur-lined coat and Alfie’s scarf; she made her way to the stables. The groundskeeper had cleared the path, knowing that the lady of the house always made the journey to see the horses no matter what the weather was.

            Alfie made sure Louise wouldn’t ride Paris until after the baby was born. Although the mare was very sound and well behaved after training from May's groom, one could never be careful enough. God forbid something should happen and she should fall off. And although it made her sad, she knew it was a wise decision. She wouldn't risk the safety of her child and there was plenty of time to ride after the baby was due. So she left it to the groom, Mickey, to exercise the mare in her absence.

            The black Friesian poked her head out of the stall when she heard the barn doors close. She nickered softly to her owner, her ears pointed forward in excitement.

            “Hello, gorgeous.” Louise smiled and reached into her pocket for a few sugar cubes. “To much snow to go outside?”

            The mare’s lips were careful as she ate the treats from Louise’s hand. When she was done, Paris stretched out her neck to sniff at her coat.

            “That’s all I’ve got for you.” Louise laughed softly and stroked her cheeks. “I’ll come back with more later today.” She promised.

            Paris snorted and lowered her head, allowing her owner to lavish her with attention. Her big brown eyes slowly closed.

            “So gentle.” Louise murmured affectionately. “You’ll be so happy to meet the baby, won’t you? Such a fierce looking beast, just like Alfie.” She giggled and sighed. “Of course he’ll be perfect.” She pressed her forehead to her neck. The mare’s winter coat was warm against her face. She could hear every breath Paris took. “I’m not worried about him.” Her voice was nearly silent as she spoke to her horse. “Not at all. I’m worried about the rest of the world. I’m worried what the Shelbys have brought to our doorstep.”

            Her mind couldn’t help but replay the conversation Tommy and Alfie had in the cellar. Eleven men. All of them willing to do anything to eradicate the Shelby family, even if it meant harnessing the power of other firms. For all she knew, Luca could have already visited the bakery. She doubted Alfie would tell her right away lest she panic. Certainly, the boxing match would attract attention from all sides. The Shelbys weren’t hiding away. They were standing out in the open with targets painted on their backs. But Louise had little faith that the Italians would ever hit their mark. The Shelbys were good at getting out of trouble.

            But that didn’t mean they didn’t cause collateral damage in the process. Could Louise and Alfie be the collateral damage this time around? Or would it be the cancer that took Alfie away from her? It remained to be seen. 


	31. Chapter 31

 

            The winter melted away into spring in due time. Inglewood’s grounds began to flourish again. Louise remained in Surrey instead of traveling back and forth with Alfie. It felt safer and was certainly a calmer place to stay while pregnant.

            One Thursday, Alfie returned to Inglewood after being two weeks away. He was anxious to see Louise and was sick and tired of being separated. His moods were like night and day depending on where he was. In Camden, everyone knew to tread carefully. Little things would set the man off and he wasn’t holding back on punishments. But when he returned home to Louise, his short temper dissolved into nothing.

            He stepped out of the car and glanced at his pocket watch. It was nearly lunchtime so he assumed Louise was inside or maybe on the patio because the weather was beautiful.

            Evelyn greeted him at the door. “Louise is by the stables.” She told him. “I figured you could see if she wanted lunch.”

            Alfie furrowed his brow. “She out there alone?”

            “’Course not.” The young woman, as well as the rest of the staff, knew it was unwise to let the pregnant woman of the house out without an escort. Louise tolerated it, although she thought it would be nice to take a walk by herself. But Alfie insisted, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If he couldn’t be there to protect her, someone else had to be.

            What Louise didn’t know was Luca Changretta had already graced him with his Italian presence. He’d stayed in Camden a little longer just to make sure things were in order. Truly, the man was caught between a rock and a hard place now. Luca would not take no for an answer although Alfie had told him to fuck off many times. If Alfie made enemies with the Americans, he very well could be signing his wife’s death certificate. If he made enemies with the Shelbys, he was signing his own. He was nearly certain that Tommy would spare his wife but Luca would not.

            So he made a deal with the devil and come time for the boxing match, Italians would be there. And it was all because of him.

            “Right.” Alfie nodded. “I’ll ask her ‘bout lunch.” He agreed and started to head around towards the stables.

 

            Louise was standing by one of the fences, chatting with the stable hand. May Carleton’s groom was leading Paris around in a circle on a long lunge lead.

            Not wanting to spook her, Alfie called out her name as he approached. She turned and a bright smile instantly formed on her face. She trotted a few steps over to him. He embraced her tenderly, kissing her hair. “Sorry I’ve been long.”

            “That’s alright, as long as you’re here now.” She murmured and touched his cheek.

            “Fucking hell, look at you.” He held out his arms to see how much her bump had grown since he’d been away. “Look ready to pop!”

            She couldn’t help but giggle and lightly smack his arm in reprimand. “Stop it, I still have weeks to go.” She reminded him. “I don’t want to get any bigger than this.”

            “Nonsense, you look beautiful. Glowing.”

            “You’re only saying that to flatter me, Mr. Solomons.” She retorted and stuck her tongue out at him.

            “I wouldn’t lie to you, love.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and walked over to the fence where she had been standing. “You well, Aidan?” He greeted the stable hand.

            “Yes, Mr. Solomons, thank you, sir.” The young man replied politely. “M’afraid Paris has gone a bit lame though.” He reported. 

            Louise sighed and rested her arms over the top of the fence. “Yes, she must’ve been playing in the field and stepped on a stone. Poor thing.”

            Alfie watched the mare plod around. Her right front was limping, the hoof dragging across the ground. “Will she be alright?” He couldn’t imagine how upset Louise would be if something happened to the mare. Especially when it had been so long since she’d been able to ride.

            “Should be fine with some rest.” Aidan nodded reassuringly. “Nothing too severe.”

            “Well, let me know if there’s anything else that needs to be done. May should be able to handle things as well.”

            Louise rested a hand on her abdomen. “I think I need to sit.” She said and glanced over her shoulder. “My feet are hurting a bit. They've been such a bother.”

            “Of course, love. Let’s get you inside.” Alfie thanked Aidan and led her back to the house. “How’re you feeling other than that?” He wondered. “No pains?”

            “No, things have been going very smoothly.” She nodded and walked slowly alongside him. “How have you been? Getting into trouble?”

            “Trouble?” Alfie chuckled. “Me?”

            “Oh, of course. My Alfie would never get in trouble.” Louise laughed softly.

            “That’s right, perfect angel.” He grinned cheekily and stopped to pull her close. “I love you to bits. I fucking missed you. Like the sun were gone.” He cradled her face in his hands.

            “Then you shouldn’t go away for so long next time.” She replied coyly and drew him close for a deep kiss.

 

            That night, Alfie could finally rest at ease. The two weeks he was in Camden he didn’t sleep very well. He was always afraid something would happen. During the day, he was too busy to ruminate on his worries. But in the still of the night, he had nothing to think about but his expecting wife.

            Now that he was back in Surrey, he could relax knowing she was right by his side.

            “I hope Cyril’s kept you in good company.” Alfie raised an eyebrow when he spotted a few tell-tale strands of dog hair on his pillow.

            Louise looked a little sheepish as she lay down in bed. “You know he’s gotten more protective.” She tried to defend herself. “Besides it’s lonely without you in this big bed.” She pouted.

            He sighed and brushed the fur off. “Can’t blame you.”

            The bullmastiff plodded into the bedroom and eyed Alfie. He walked over to Louise and rested his chin on the bed. His sad eyes looked up at her.

            “I’m sorry, love, you’ve been replaced.” She chuckled and patted his head.

            “Spoiled mutt.” Alfie rolled his eyes at how much his wife coddled the dog. “C’mon, Cyril, you can sleep on the end.” He let the massive dog curl up on the foot of the bed.

            Louise happily cuddled up next to Alfie, snuggling into the crook of his arm. “Here, I’ve got a surprise.” She reached for his hand and rested it on her stomach.

            “What’d you mean?” He looked confused but let her gently press his fingers against her.

            “Sh…just wait.”

            Patiently, the two remained there almost motionless. Then, like a sudden spark, Alfie felt a small pressure against his hand. His lips parted slightly in shock. “Lou…”

            She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it just started happening a couple days ago. At first they just felt like butterflies in my stomach but now it really feels like a kick.”

            “Fucking hell.” Alfie let out a stunned laugh, not moving his hand away from her stomach. “Does it hurt?” He had a hard time imagining having something kicking at you from the inside. 

            “No, but I’ve still got some ways to go. Might kick a bit harder later on.” Her thumb rubbed circles over the top of his hand.

            “That’s…that’s really something.” He really couldn’t put to words how he felt. It was overwhelming because it was the first physical touch from their child. The first movement of this brand new life. It was surreal and for a moment, Alfie wondered whether or not it was truly happening. He scrunched up his nose and stared at his hand over her stomach. “Oh, Lou, I’m fucking terrified.” He admitted shakily.

            “Of what?” Anxiety struck her face. “Alfie, did something happen in Camden?”

            “No, no.” He waved her off. That was only partly a lie. Something _had_ happened in Camden but that wasn’t the only thing worrying him. “Terrified of that little bit in there.”

            She sighed in relief and smiled. “Scared of your own child?” She reached up to smooth her fingers through his unkempt hair. "Of all the things you could be afraid of." 

            “Well,” He rolled his eyes and huffed out a grumble. “M’scared about the whole…fathering thing I guess. It’s fucking silly, innit?”

            “Alfie.” Louise drew his eyes back to her face. “I haven’t the faintest clue how to be a mother. Does any parent truly know when it's their first child?”

            “S’pose not. Should be all instinct, yeah?” He shrugged sheepishly because he still felt unsure of himself. “I’m excited, right, I am. Guess I just never thought I’d end up in a place like this.”

            “What sort of place?” Her hazel eyes were warm as she rested her head on his shoulder. She wanted to distract him from his worries and instead focus on the good things happening in their life together. “Describe it to me.”

            “Alright love, you want a story?” He teased playfully earning a pout. “Right, this place…ain’t like something you read in a fairytale, is it?” His arms wrapped snug around her, keeping her as close as her growing stomach would allow. “But s’beautiful. Lots of things ‘bout it are beautiful. The house is a fucking palace, innit? Beautiful gardens and pastures. Beautiful horse and a handsome looking dog.”Cyril glanced over at Alfie as if he knew he’d mentioned him.

            Louise laughed. “A very handsome dog.”

            “Very handsome.” Alfie grinned. “But you wanna know the most beautiful part of this place is?” He murmured.

            “The man of the house.” She replied matter-of-factly.

            “Ah, no.” He shook his head. “Bit funny looking, ain’t he?”

            Louise frowned and lifted her head. “Absolutely not. He’s stunning in every way.” She argued.

            Her husband smiled and held up a hand. “Now, hang on, this is my story. You can tell me your story tomorrow. ‘Sides I was just getting to the best part.”

            She wanted to correct him again but decided to let him have a bit of fun. “Fine, continue.” She relented and rested back against his chest.

            “Thank you.” He kissed her forehead before continuing. “As I were saying, the most beautiful thing ‘bout this place is the woman who lives here. Fucking gorgeous. Looks beautiful in every color imaginable. Real posh, but has a big heart. ‘Cause that’s the most beautiful thing ‘bout her. How she can love someone like me. Ain’t never had anyone care so much. And I’ve never cared about someone else so much. Now she’s carrying our child.” His hand returned to her stomach. She laced her fingers with hers and let their entwined hands rest there. “There’ll be a family living here. Beautiful family. And m’fraid you’ll have to wait to find out more. ‘Cause we ain’t there yet.”

            Louise smiled contently. She raised her head a bit to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Soon.”

            “Yeah, love, soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just needed some simple fluff in my life. Because honestly, it's about to get a little wild from here on out. I've already written up most of the next chapter or two but I just need to add bits here and there. Shouldn't be too long of a wait.


	32. Chapter 32

            It was as if there had been something muffling Alfie’s hearing all his life. It was faint and he didn’t notice until one unseasonably warm autumn night. They’d left the master bedroom windows open to allow some air in. A metal fan rattled about in the corner, creating a strangely lulling hum. Alfie slept peacefully, just happy to smell the crisp fall scent in the air and have his very pregnant wife curled up in his arms.

The peace wouldn’t last the night. A sharp gasp from Louise woke him up nearly instantly.

“Alfie, my water broke.”

Disoriented and still half asleep, Alfie threw an arm over his face. “What you on ‘bout? What water spilled?”

“ _My_ water!” Frantic, Louise shook his shoulder.

“Lou, it’s late, I’m sure you didn’t spill that much fucking water to warrant waking me up.”

“Alfie, I’m going into labor!” She snapped and continued shaking him.

Those were the words that he’d been anxiously waiting for, both with excitement and dread. A sharp jolt of electricity forced him to sit up in bed. “What?”

“I’m going into labor, you need to call the midwife!” She put a hand over her stomach. “It’ll take her least half an hour to get here.”

“Fuck.” Her husband got up. “Just keep breathing, love, everything’s gonna be alright.” The assurance was more for his sake than his wife’s. She’d been prepared for the day much more than Alfie had.

“Wake Evelyn as well.” Louise requested. She needed another level head to offset the panic she anticipated from Alfie.

He had no experience with pregnancy so he couldn’t fathom how long it took to deliver a baby. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days? Afraid it would be minutes rather than hours, he banged on Evelyn’s door.

The young woman opened the door with a weary face. “Mr. Solomons? Something the matter?”

“Louise’s gone into labor. I need to call the midwife but she wants you there with her.” He rattled off almost incoherently.

Luckily, Evelyn had been working for the man long enough to understand him even at his most unintelligible moments. “Alright, just calm down.” She instructed carefully. “It’ll be a bit before she actually delivers the baby. There’ll be plenty of time ‘fore the midwife gets here.”

Alfie nodded absent-mindedly, his thoughts whipping up into a frenzy. “Right, right, right…okay. You go stay with her. I’ll go and call.” He repeated again and the two parted ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fortunately, the midwife was used to calls during the middle of the night. As she was on her way, Evelyn kept Louise company. The contractions were still far apart so there wasn’t much they could do but wait.

Alfie loathed waiting but the situation was driving him insane with worry. He paced the room, Cyril following at his heels. He checked his pocket watch nearly every minute, watching the small hands tick by. How much longer until he was given the enormous task of being a father?

The midwife and her assistant arrived forty-five minutes later. Sarah was a middle-aged woman who was well respected in Surrey for being the best of the best in her field. She had a naturally calming presence but Alfie had worked himself up far beyond the point of being calmed down.

“She’s in here.” He hurried Sarah upstairs and down the hall. “She’s been timing the contractions, don’t remember what she said they were last.”

They stopped at the door and Sarah put a comforting hand on Alfie’s arm. “I’ll take it from here. Just try to relax, I’ll call you in a bit.” She entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie didn’t like being closed out of the room but he wanted to give Louise space to focus on the labor instead of him. Still, time passed unbearably slow and he couldn’t get himself to go downstairs or take a walk outside. He hovered around the door, barely walking more than ten feet down the hall. Every worst case scenario flooded his brain. What if something went wrong? What if the baby didn't make it? What if Louise didn't? His stomach was in knots and he was nearly physically sick at the thought of losing either of them. Or both of them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evelyn poked her head out every so often to tell her boss how Louise was doing. But the longer time passed, the more anxious Alfie got and the louder Louise became. 

He had more than enough after hearing his wife scream out in pain. “Fucking hell…” He ran a hand over his mouth before deciding to enter the room.

“Mr. Solomons I would advise you to stay out of the room. Most husbands do so they won’t interfere.” Sarah’s assistant said with a determined look, standing in the way between him and the bed.

“Fucking interfere?” Alfie snapped and pointed over her shoulder. “That’s me wife in there ‘bout to give birth, I sure as hell won’t be sitting out there twiddling me fucking thumbs.” He passed by her.

The midwife looked up from her spot by the end of the bed when she noticed him enter. “Mr. Solomons…”

“I’ll keep outta the way.” He promised gruffly and knelt by Louise’s side. “How’re you doing love?” He patted sweat from her forehead.

“Alfie, you don’t have to stay.” His wife scrunched up her face when another contraction hit. Tears were streaming down her face but she was determined to push through the pain. "Honestly...I'll be okay." 

“Not gonna leave you like this.” He replied and kissed her knuckles. “Wouldn’t dream of it. ‘Sides, I’ve seen worse, haven’t I?”

Louise smiled weakly, relieved that he was there and was remaining calmer than she predicted. “Keep talking.” She said between labored breaths. “Helps me relax a bit.”

“Right well…Think you’ve earned a holiday, haven’t you? Been pregnant for ages it seems.”

“Hasn’t been a-ages.” Her voice hitched and she closed her eyes tightly.

“Well, could hardly wait for the day.” He tried to keep levelheaded. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if he kicked off. But seeing his beloved wife in pain was unbearable.

“Alfie…” She tried to hold back a sob and clamped her hand down on his.

He winced slightly, never knowing how strong she could actually be. “I’ve gotcha, love, will be over soon.”

~~~~~~~~~

It was certainly a trial for the both of them. Louise more so than Alfie but he did have to sit there and watch her struggle without being able to help her. But finally, the moment came and the midwife successfully delivered the child. While she delivered the afterbirth and took a moment to breathe, the midwife’s assistant washed and swaddled the baby.

“Mr. and Mrs. Solomons you have a healthy baby boy.” Sarah’s assistant smiled as she walked over with the bundle. She placed the newborn into Louise’s arms.

Alfie watched the little bundle as it passed to Louise. His body was completely frozen in shock. He was a father. 

Then, like a strike of lightning, his son began to cry. It broke his heart, shattering it to pieces.

“Oh, Alfie.” Louise became choked up. The look of exhaustion was replaced by overwhelming surprise.

“What? Something wrong?” He leaned over; afraid his son was missing a few fingers or toes.

“No, of course not. He’s perfect.”

The little swaddle squirmed and Alfie set eyes on his son for the very first time. Indeed he was perfect. He screamed like a banshee, but he was perfect. A button nose, round cheeks, bright blue eyes, and a tuft of light brown hair.

Louise and Alfie stared at the newborn for a bit, unsure what else to do. Eventually, Sarah stepped in and helped the new mother begin to nurse for the first time.

It gave Alfie an opportunity to take a step back and breathe. He felt like laughing and crying all at once. The moment was just too surreal to take in and still keep a level head. But through all the shock, he knew he was happy. It was a good day with the sun just starting to peek out above the horizon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After feeding him, Louise glanced up to her husband. “He’s sleeping now, do you want to hold him?” She asked.

Alfie raised an eyebrow. “Oh, well…” The anxiety about being a father built up again. Surely that little thing was much too fragile to be held by anyone but his mother. “If he’s sleeping, don’t want to wake him.”

“You won’t.” She assured him and beckoned him over. Sheepishly, Alfie walked over and sat on the edge of their bed. Gently, she placed their son in his arms. “Make sure you’re supporting his head.”

Alfie cradled the newborn and looked down at him. His chest tightened just like it did whenever he realized how much he loved Louise. That was it, unconditional love. A million man army couldn’t harm his son as long as Alfie was there to protect him. He let out a quiet chuckle and felt immense pride for the tiny baby in his arms. “S’pose we need to name him now, aye?”

Louise sat up and cozied up to his side, looking over his shoulder to their son. “I was thinking Theodore.” She murmured and ran her thumb over the baby’s rosy pink cheek.

“Yeah? Theodore Solomons?”

“Could call him Teddy.” She smiled.

Alfie grinned and nodded. “Yeah, I like that. Suits him, don’t it?” His heart swelled in happiness. “You’ve done wonderfully, Lou.” He kissed her cheek. “What a gift you’ve given me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie was enamored with Theodore, just as much as Louise was. He could hardly get over the fact that they’d created such a little angel.

“Look at you, little thing ain’t ya?” Alfie’s voice was hushed as he spoke to his son. Louise was sleeping. She wanted to stay awake during her son’s first few hours alive but had finally succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep.

Theodore opened his blue eyes every so often to look up at his father. His tiny hand jerking about in his swaddle.

“I were small like you once, yeah, so you’ll get bigger, eh? Like your dad?”

Teddy yawned and closed his eyes again.

“Well, no, not exactly like me,” Alfie mumbled. “Can’t have that. S’no life for a bit like you, yeah, an innocent little bit.” He looked up at Louise’s sleeping form. “Wasn’t a life for your mum. Be honest, Teddy, life ‘fore you two were a bit easier wasn’t it? Could be fucking selfish, yeah, only had to keep meself alive. Now?” He sighed. “Now I’ll be up all night worrying. S’alright though, wouldn’t give up any of it up. Just wish I could’ve been a better man. Don’t want my life hurting you or your mum. Isn’t right for you to suffer ‘cause of me. All I can do now is do me best, I s’pose. Keep you two safe.”

Alfie sat down and adjusted Teddy in his arms. That’s when he caught a flash of his hand. The skin cancer was spreading, creeping up towards his tattoo like a parasite. It made the gangster sick to his stomach to see it. He just wanted to ignore it, turn his back to the marks on his skin and forget they were ever there. But as each day passed it was harder and harder to ignore.

“Don’t want you growing up to see me like this.” He muttered under his breath to Teddy. “Ain’t right. Shouldn’t have a father who’s sick.” But there wasn’t anything Alfie could do but curse the war and pray for forgiveness. 


	33. Chapter 33

            Alfie couldn’t ignore it any longer. He had started to avoid looking at mirrors. He really didn’t mind what he looked like, as long as he appeared intimidating to his foes. But he didn’t want to worry Louise and he didn’t want his son growing up and seeing him in such a state. It wasn't fair to either of them. Still, Teddy was a good distraction. Caring for him was never ending and Louise was hesitant to hire a nanny. Taking care of the newborn kept him in the present moment and allowed him to forget about what was ahead. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            One morning, he found Louise burping Teddy in the parlor. “Morning, love.” Alfie kissed his wife and let Teddy grab a hold of his thumb. “Hello there, Teddy. You alright?” He murmured softly.

            Louise smiled but it faded when she looked up at him. The progression of cancer was gradual but sometimes seeing it made her want to cry. It looked terribly painful and there was nothing she could do. 

            “Want me to take him?”

            She nodded and handed the baby to Alfie. “How are you feeling today?”

            “Can’t complain, living in paradise aren’t I?” He sat down near his wife and let Teddy rest on his chest. The baby looked so tiny compared to his broad shoulders. 

            Louise knew better than to press the matter. Her husband never liked to talk about his cancer. In fact, he was content to go weeks without speaking about it, if possible. Instead, he liked to focus on her and Teddy. It wasn't awful, but she didn't want him to ignore his own health. 

            “Can’t believe he only woke us up once last night.” Alfie chuckled and smoothed back his son’s feathery hair. Teddy curled his fists around Alfie’s shirt and rested his cheek down. “Must be a new record for him, innit?”

           "It might be." She agreed softly with a smile. Alfie embraced fatherhood as if it were the best position he could ever hold. He never once complained about Teddy crying or fussing, even if it were in the middle of the night. He remarked on every little stepping-stone. How Teddy’s hair grew, how he started to recognize faces or the tiny smile he gave one afternoon. 

            But it still didn’t cancel out the worries he had for his future. What if Teddy’s first and only memory of Alfie was him wasting away? Being eaten alive by horrendous skin cancer? What sort of mental image was that for a young boy to have? Teddy reached up and placed a tiny hand over Alfie’s cheek. The man smiled sadly. “Yeah, mate, I know.” He sighed quietly. “Turning into a monster.”

            Louise frowned. “Alfie…”

            “S’alright, love.” He feigned an amused look. “Becoming the monsters everyone else sees, ain’t I?”

            She stood and walked over to him. “That’s not true at all. You’re still the man I fell in love with.” She knelt in front of him and took the hand that wasn’t supporting Teddy. Her thumb brushed over some of the marks on his skin. “These don’t define you. Look.” She smiled at their son. “That defines you. Our son. You’re not a monster, you’re my husband, the man I love, and a perfect father.”

            Alfie looked at Teddy who had dozed off. “Think it’s time to retire.” He said quietly and tugged her close.

            Louise picked up Teddy and curled up on Alfie’s lap. He wrapped his arms around them both. “Do you want to or do you feel like you have to?” It made her happy to think about Alfie finally retiring. But she didn’t want him to feel forced into it.

            “Nah.” He shook his head and glanced down at the tattoo on his hand. The one he'd gotten so many years ago after the War. A stupid boy who wanted power and reputation. Riches and luxury he never had growing up. How far he'd come from that man. “Getting too old for it, ain’t I?” He smiled and kissed her cheek. “Not the young man I used to be.”

            “You’re not old.” She teased and nuzzled him close. “But I would love if you gave it all up if I’m being honest. Wouldn't have to worry about you being in danger anymore.”

            “I know, love.” He stroked her hair. “I’ve got better things here.”

            Louise cuddled Teddy close and smiled. But it faded quickly when she remembered the boxing match. “So what are you going to do?”            

            He thought about Luca’s visit to the bakery. It made his blood boil. That Italian had the nerve to threaten his family. It was a wonder that Alfie didn’t gun him down then and there. But Louise and Teddy were his priority. He would do anything to keep them safe, even if meant making a deal with the devil and turning against the Shelbys.

            “Everything will be okay, love.” He murmured. “I promise.”

           

            Two weeks after Teddy’s birth, Alfie reluctantly went to London to settle everything. He called Ollie to his office early in the morning before most of the other men had arrived at the bakery.

            “Sir, you wanted to talk to me?” The young man knocked on the door before coming in.

            “Yeah, mate, have a seat.” Alfie cleared his throat and took off his glasses.

            “How’re Teddy and Louise?” Ollie asked with a smile.

            “Good, good, both healthy.”

            “Good to hear.” His assistant was pleased to see Alfie find his purpose in his new family. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

            “I’m dying, Ollie.” The words were blunt and were a sharp turn from the joyful conversation about Teddy.

            “Sir…” Ollie’s eyes furrowed. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he'd heard Alfie correctly.

            “Mean, everyone’s dying. Just guess I’m dying a bit faster. Skin cancer.” He rubbed his eyes. “Doctor said I ain’t gonna make it past a few years. Not gonna see me son grow up.” Something stuck in his throat. "Just something I'm going to have to accept."

            It was difficult to see the man facing such a tough diagnosis. For a long time, Ollie thought nothing could tear down Alfie Solomons. But he looked tired. Perhaps it was being a new father but maybe he’d just grown exhausted by the life he lived. “Is there anything I can do for you, sir?” He asked.

            Alfie busied himself with absent-mindedly organizing his desk. Placing items in one place then moving them seconds later. “No. Just need to get everything in order in next few days.” He flipped open his planner and scanned the scrawling handwriting. A sad smile formed on his lips when he realized how much he missed Louise’s handwriting next to his. Missed the little notes she left him from time to time or the occasional heart she drew for him.

            “The match is next week.” Ollie reminded him.

            “It is. And Luca Changretta’s men will be there.”

            “Sir?”

            “You’ll stay at home. Stay with Shayna and the kids. I’ll be finding your family a place outside of London. Somewhere nice, you deserve it. Won’t hafta worry ‘bout money. I’ll be taking care of it even after I’m gone.”

            Ollie was unnerved by the way his boss was talking. It was so unlike the man he knew very well. Obviously, something had caused a change in him. “Sir, what are you planning on doing?” He had no idea how he’d been involved with the American.

            “Lou and I will be in Margate after the match. I’m retiring.” Alfie made his hands still even though he was still on edge. The end was quickly approaching and he wasn’t sure if he was ready. Had he taken care of everything properly? Would things turn out the way he wanted?

            It was sudden news to Ollie. “You’re retiring? So what’ll happen to the firm?” He asked. It wouldn’t be an easy task liquidating the empire Alfie had built up in alcohol and on the track.

            “Been talking to a few people, you won’t have to worry ‘bout it though.” He assured him. “I’ll handle it, best you’re not involved.”

            “Thank you, sir.” He said quietly and took a deep breath. “End of an era then?”

            Alfie chuckled. “S’pose it is, mate.” He reached into his drawer and pulled out the bottle of whiskey he kept there. He set the bottle in front of his assistant as a little gift. “Guess we can just sit back and watch those gypsy bastards fuck up Britain, aye?”

            Ollie laughed and shook his head. “Will be quite the event to watch.” He agreed and took the bottle.

            “It sure will.”

 

            Alfie returned to Warwickshire a few days before the boxing match was to take place. There was electricity in the air everywhere he went. Something was sure to happen, he planned for it. But it was still hard to face the music at the end of the day.

            Louise was standing on the front steps with Teddy in her arms. She was smiling warmly.

            Alfie smiled and went to embrace her. His heart was racing and he hoped she couldn’t tell when she hugged him back. Teddy grabbed at Alfie’s shirt collar and held on as if he knew what was going to happen in just a matter of days. Alfie wished he could make them both understand why he was about to go through with such a plan. But no amount of words could explain it. Time was short. All he wanted to do was spend what time he had left with his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to build up to what I've got planned next.


	34. Chapter 34

            To say Alfie was nervous wasn’t exactly accurate. He was confident in his actions, but it was something he never thought he would do. But it had to be done. He was so tired.

            Tommy turned into the locker room where Alfie was sitting. The Jewish man seemed guarded not that it was unusual. But he sat straight, his hands resting on his cane, shrouded in shadows by his hat and heavy coat.

            “Yeah, you’re like me, Tommy, can’t bear to watch a fight that’s got so many rules.” Alfie heaved a sigh. The two men sat in silence for a moment. The sounds of the fight were muffled. The crowd roaring and shouting along with each blow.

            “Tommy, imagine that you could not see at all.” Alfie glanced over at the Brummie. “That you was born blind.” When Tommy didn’t speak, he kept on. Maybe the man had learned to let Alfie ramble his way through his words until he was absolutely finished. “Then, one day, you open your eyes and you can see everything in the world. When before you could only hear it or touch it. There it is.” He raised his hand like a magician revealing a trick. “The revelation.”

            Tommy’s icy blue eyes remained on him, not able to follow the man’s train of thought in the slightest. He could see the very obvious marks that riddled his skin. Whatever it was, Tommy had no clue; it seemed painful and aged the man a great deal.

            “I’ve had one.” Alfie nodded and couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Teddy. S’got me eyes. The second he opened them, I asked myself…'Alfie, what are you doing?’ Really, I mean what _are_ you doing? You’ve got a beautiful wife and now you’ve got this little boy. I mean for fuck’s sake, little bit can’t even hold his own head up on his own. You know, what if I just fucked off to Margate and never went back? Sold everything and just disappeared? Think ‘bout how happier Lou would be. Teddy wouldn’t ever have to grow up in the smoke of London.”

            “Louise had the baby.” Tommy didn’t ask, merely stated the now obvious fact.

            “She did, yeah.” Alfie ran a hand over his mouth. His heart ached to be back with his family. “He’ll be eight weeks on Monday. Will be waiting another week before we go to Margate. I need some time.” His eyes glazed over a bit as he stared at the wall in front of him. This was only stage-one of his plan. He only had another week. “Plus, the Americans are here. Big fucks small, aye? Always been like that. There is a fight out there between big and small. And big fucks small, always.” He tapped his cane on the ground and stood up with a grunt. “Right, Margate. Blue skies, heaven.” He turned and looked at the other man. “I’ll be seeing you soon, Tommy. By the pier.”

            The Blinder was beyond suspicious at that point. Of course, Alfie Solomons was always up to something but the talk about retirement threw Tommy for a loop. It most likely meant he was going out with a bang. “Stay for the fight, Alfie.” His voice was tense.

            “Nah, mate, I already know who wins, don’t I?” Alfie held up his glasses. “By the pier, Tommy.” He reminded him before heading out of the room.

 

 

            It was late when Alfie returned to Inglewood. He finished up clearing out the rest of the bakery. Instructing Ollie to dispose of the life he once had. Burning through the empire he’d built over so many years. He didn’t regret any bit of it.

            There was a light still on upstairs. Louise sat in bed reading. She seemed content and at peace. Completely unaware of the chaos her husband had initiated and the last stand he planned.

            “How did the match go?” She asked and marked her spot in the book before setting it aside.

            “Left early. Not my cup of tea, innit?” He sighed and got changed for bed. “Quiet night?” It was heart-wrenching to just have pleasant small talk with her. He wanted to get down on his knees and confess all his sins to her, beg for forgiveness, and reminisce on everything she’d given him. He wanted to open his heart to her and tell her how much he treasured her. But that would only raise suspicions and possibly alert her to something.

            “Hm, a violent sport isn’t entertaining to my Alfie?” She teased.

            “Nah.” He smiled and poked his head into the nursery adjoining the master bedroom. Teddy was fast asleep in his crib. His lips parted and his little fists resting by his head. He wasn’t bothered by his parents speaking softly to one another. “Rather be home with you and Teddy.”

            “Or you’re upset that you’re not the one doing any of the punching.” She held up her fists like a boxer.

            Alfie chuckled and got into bed with her. “Should put you in the ring, you’ve knocked me off me feet a couple of times. That little number you wore on our honeymoon? Total knock out.”

            She grinned and cuddled close to him. “Afraid it’ll be a couple of more months before you see me wearing something like that again. Not until Teddy sleeps through the night.”

            The smile on Alfie’s face faltered but he tried not to let it show. He realized he didn’t have a few months left. He wrapped his arms around his wife and held her close to him. “Think I want to go to Margate next week.”

            “Margate? Oh, Alfie, it’ll be awfully cold by the water.”

            He nodded absent-mindedly, staring up at the ceiling. “Just want a change of scenery.”

            Louise frowned and reached for his hand. “I’ve been worried about you.” She told him honestly. “The past few weeks you’ve been acting differently.”

            “Have I? S’pose there’s a lot going on.” He tried to shrug it off.

            “Is it because of the baby?” Louise was afraid Alfie wasn’t happy. He appeared to enjoy being a father but maybe it was just to make her feel better.

            “What? No, Lou. Absolutely not. You and Teddy are the best things in me life. I’m just trying to get everything settled, is all. Get ready for retiring.” He didn’t disclose that he technically was already retired. After letting the Italians into the boxing match, he’d taken his reward and left. There was a grenade fixed to the door for anyone who was willing to seek him out. So either the bakery would remain empty or it would be blown to pieces. What was done was done.

            “Well, I’m glad you’re doing that. I was afraid Luca Changretta was going to upset things.” Louise thought Alfie had completely avoided any dealings with the Americans. He’d given her no hints or suspicions.

            Alfie felt a little guilty for lying but the less she knew about the match the better. In the long run, she would be kept safe from the Americans and hopefully the Shelbys after that week.

            “Is there anything you need your secretary to do?” Louise smiled up at him. “Or are you letting me retire as well?”

            “Fucking hell, you’ve been retired since you’ve had our son, love. Would never make you work another day in your life.” He kissed her hair. “You’ve done your part, kept me books in order and kept me in line.”

            “I miss being your secretary though.” She pouted. “Got to see you more often.”

            “Well now that I’m retired, love, you get me all the time. Sure you’ll be begging for me to go back to work after two days. I’ll drive you mad.” He teased affectionately.

            “Never.” She smiled and reached up to kiss him. She gave him so much comfort. He only wished he could do the same. “Margate, then?” When she drew away, she looked into his eyes.

            He nodded and touched a hand to her cheek. “Margate. Just for a bit.”

 

 

            It was cold. The wind was fierce by the shore and there was an ungodly chill in the air. But Louise didn’t seem to mind and was happy to bundle up and take Teddy for walks on the beach with Alfie. Still, she had the persistent feeling that something was going on with Alfie.

            He’d been awfully sentimental and nostalgic. Reminding her about the time they first met, the first time they’d kissed, the dress she wore to the art gallery, their wedding, and so many more memories. He’d linger on each life event as if he were about to forget it only seconds later.

            Alfie had always been touchy, especially after their wedding. But the week at Margate, he acted as if they’d never so much as held hands before. Drawing out every little kiss and letting his hand linger on her arm or squeezing her hand as they walked together.

            He didn’t sleep and stayed up with Teddy if he cried. Louise often heard him speaking to his son in the next room but could never hear what he was saying. He often checked in on Teddy more times than were necessary. His blue eyes looking into the bassinette with worry.

            But if Louise asked if something was wrong, he’d chalk it up to retiring or would say there was nothing wrong at all.

            The night before Tommy was due to arrive, Alfie held onto Louise like a vice when they made love. His fingers digging into her shoulders, pressing his face into the crook of her neck, and repeating over and over again that he loved her more than life itself.

            She didn’t know why, but she began to cry.

 

 

            The next morning, Alfie was ready to face the music. His time had come and he was going to face it like a soldier. That’s all he could do, it was far too late to turn back.

 

            “There you are.” Louise smiled. She was holding Teddy in a small basin of water as she gently washed his soft skin. The baby yawned and squirmed a bit. His fist waving about and trying to grab the washcloth his mother was using.

            Alfie was amazed to see how much he’d grown in such a seemingly short amount of time. It was unfortunate he wouldn’t see him pass any more milestones. He would leave that to Louise to cherish.

            “Right, going for a walk.” He had to keep his voice from shaking. But this was it. The note was on the desk in their room. A sealed letter for Teddy when he was old enough to receive it. Everything was in order. Now he just had to finish the hardest part.

            Louise wrapped Teddy in a towel and held him close. Cyril lingered by her, watching the little bundle in her arms. “On the beach? I could come with you.” She offered.

            “I’d just slow you down.” Alfie forced a smile and walked over to her. “You know I love you, yeah?” He whispered.

            She just laughed and shook her head. “If I didn’t know by now I’d be pretty thick, wouldn’t I?” She teased.

            “Nah, you’re as bright as they come.” He chuckled weakly and kissed her forehead. His eyes fell on Teddy who was dozing off against Louise’s shoulder. What could he say to his son who wouldn’t understand? “He’ll be bright too.”

            “I guess we’ll just have to see.” Louise smiled and carefully dried off Teddy’s dark hair. “But I’m sure he will be if he’s got his father’s wits.” She went to set the baby down in the bassinette. “I was going to make breakfast, you won’t be long will you?”

            Alfie couldn’t shake the large lump in his throat. “No, love, I’ll be quick.”

            She only smiled and went into the small kitchen.

            Her husband lingered, not wanting to leave quite yet. “Lou.” He walked over to her.

            “Mhm?”

            “I love you.” He said again and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed her jaw and neck, trying to hold onto the way she felt. Trying to leave just enough of himself with her. She already had his heart.

            “I know, dear. I love you too.” She replied with an amused look.

            He rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes. “Whatever I’ve done, yeah, I’ve done it because I love you and I don’t want you to suffer.”

            Louise frowned. “Alfie, is something the matter? Honestly, it must be something other than retiring. You’re acting so strange and it’s making me worry about you.”

            “No, nothing’s wrong. I just want you to know.” He kissed her cheek and forced himself to withdraw. “I’ll only be a mo’.” He passed by the bassinette and stopped. “You be good to mumma, yeah?”

            Teddy opened his eyes and kicked his feet up. He could only make little noises of contentment in response.

            “Yeah, you’ll be the man of the house. You’ll need to keep her safe.” He whispered and lightly wiggled his tiny toes. “Oh the stories she’ll tell you.” A sad smile crossed the man’s face. “You probably won’t believe them at first. But they’re real…I did them all. Only believe her though. Anyone else is telling you fucking lies. She’s the only one who truly knew me.” He swallowed and leaned down to kiss Teddy’s small forehead. “I love you, never forget that. I hope you understand.”

 

 

            The sun was still burning in the sky when Alfie made it down to the shoreline. It bleached everything white and gave a strange purgatory feeling.

He kept his eyes on the horizon when he heard Tommy approaching.

            “You were easy to find.”

            Alfie punched out a bitter laugh. “Well, there is a good reason for that, mate. I wanted it to be here, didn’t I? Beautiful, innit?”

            Tommy stood a little bit away as he listened to the man ready to accept his fate.

            “Lou…” Alfie twisted and pointed up near the dunes. “I proposed to her right up there. This morning, she were down here with Teddy.” A smile pricked his face and he felt his eyes sting from the wind and the tears he held back. “Letting him put his little feet in the water. She looked at me and said, ‘This is paradise, Alfie. We don’t ever hafta go back to Camden if we didn’t want to’.”

            “Alfie.” Tommy tried to interrupt.

            “Me mum took me here when I was little. Couldn’t fucking swim and nearly drowned. What you think, Tommy, reckon it’d be better if she let me drown?” His blue eyes looked over at the man. “Yeah, lotta people would still be alive, wouldn’t they? Their families wouldn’t be mourning them. Wouldn’t have had to fight in that fucking war.”

            “You wouldn’t have met Louise,” Tommy interjected. “You wouldn’t have helped her out of that situation. You got rid of her husband.”

            Alfie laughed sarcastically. “Thing is Tommy, women like her, people like her they always find something. Hell, if I don’t wonder every day if she could’ve found someone better than me. Me? I couldn’t have done any fucking better. You ask me, yeah, all I’ve done is brought her pain.”

            Tommy opened his mouth but Alfie didn’t let him get a word in.

            “Got skin cancer.” He spoke with brutal honesty. “Riddled with it, picked it up in France from those fucking gases.” He shook his head. “And Lou…I’ll be damned if she has to watch me die slowly.”

            “So you’ll let her find you dead on a beach?” Tommy asked harshly. “How’d you figure that would be any better?”

            Alfie rocked back and forth on his feet, his hands deep in his pockets. He didn’t want to answer that question. He didn’t want to face his reality anymore. “Y’know, I know how you felt when you lost Grace and when Charlie was taken. M’not a fucking monster, am I? D’you know what I would do if Lou was shot dead in front of me or if Teddy was taken? I’d tear the whole fucking universe to shreds, mate. But now I’ve made me bed, right, and everything’s done. I made a deal with the Americans to get into the fight. Weren’t anything to do with you or your family, I was only doing it to save me own. Call me what you want, but I needed to make sure they would leave Louise alone once I’m gone. Now we’re even. I get your brother killed and you kill me. That’s the way our world works, innit? Fucking cycle of people killing people killing people.”

            “Alfie.”

            “I’m retired, Tommy, but I’ve made peace with everything. I’d give me life a million times in order to keep her and Teddy safe. Lou will be fine when I’m gone. She’ll be protected and well off for the rest of her life. S’pose all I can ask is that you leave her the fuck alone. You’ll get your money’s worth by killing me. No use going after her and me boy. But I trust you’re an honorable man and wouldn’t do that.”

            “Alfie, shut up.” Tommy snapped in a low voice.

            “Oh, for fuck's sake, Tommy, just get on with it!” Alfie demanded. “You know you’re going to do it. So finish it off so you can go back to your scheming, aye?”

            Tommy gritted his teeth and pulled out his gun. He aimed and let his finger go heavy on the trigger.


	35. Chapter 35

            “Fucking hell, Tommy, you really need glasses don’t you?”

            It took Alfie a full breath to realize he hadn’t been shot and was still very alive. He heard the bullet zip right by his ear but never made contact with flesh. “You’ve gone blind or have you got the shakes now?”

            Tommy didn’t say a word, instead, he simply waited.

            “Alfie?” Louise came running out of the cottage only moments later. She was holding her gun, ready to shot Tommy Shelby if need be. But she was relieved to see both men were still standing and unharmed.

            “It’s alright, Louise, I was just showing Alfie this new pistol,” Tommy called back to her standing on the dunes.

            Alfie’s wife looked irritated. “Well, I don’t appreciate you both firing off without warning. The baby is trying to sleep.”

            The Jewish gangster became choked up and couldn’t speak. He simply stared at her standing there with a gun in hand.

            “Sorry, we’ll keep it down.” Tommy nodded and fiddled with his gun, letting the last bullet left in the barrel to fall out into his palm.

            “Breakfast will be done soon, Alfie.” Louise continued. “Come inside when you’re done.” And with that, she returned inside.

            Tommy walked over and placed the bullet in Alfie’s hand. “See that? She would’ve come out and shot me for what I did to you.” He explained in a low voice. “Then, what’d you think would happen, aye? I’ve got a family of fucking animals, ‘ccording to you.”

            Alfie was speechless, something he seldom was. His fingers curled around the bullet in a delayed response.

            “Arthur isn’t dead.” Tommy continued speaking as he returned the gun into the inside of his coat. “Luca Changretta is. Whatever you’ve done, you did it to protect her and your son. I can understand that. I would’ve done the same thing. You’re retired now so we can put this matter to rest. I can mentor Ollie, if you’d like, let him work your bakery back up. That’ll be the end of fighting between the Blinders and the Jews. But if I hear you’ve been involved with the business again, I won’t miss.” Tommy said firmly. “Trust me when I say Louise would much rather have you around for the time you’ve got left. Because you don’t know how long you have. Could be years. Years that you would be better off spending with your wife and boy.”

            Alfie slowly pocketed the bullet as if he were accepting the terms of Tommy’s new lease on his life. “You’ve got more planned, Tommy?” He asked.

            The Blinder reached for a cigarette. “I do.” He answered curtly. “Business you won’t want to be involved with, too legitimate for your liking.”

            Alfie nodded and sighed. “Done with doing all the dirty work, aye? Think you’ll get tired of it, mate.”

            “Well, until then, I’ll be alright. As will you.” Tommy held out his hand to shake.

            The other man obliged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            The walk up the dunes was much longer than it appeared. Alfie kept his palm wrapped around the bullet in his pocket. His heart was still beating unbearably fast. He’d nearly gone through with taking his own life via Tommy Shelby. According to plan, he shouldn’t have been walking back up to the cottage.

            But Tommy was dead on. Had Louise seen Alfie bleeding out in the sand, she would’ve shot him without hesitating. Whether it be because of a broken heart, revenge, or in fear she and Teddy were the next victims. Then what next? The Blinders would be after her for killing their kin. Alfie felt stupid for not even considering retaliation from his wife. Without question, she would seriously injure or kill anyone who attacked her family.

            Things were just as he’d left them. The moment he walked out the door assuming he wouldn’t walk back. Louise was finishing up in the kitchen and Teddy was still fast asleep in his bassinette.

            “Honestly, sometimes I wonder about that man.” Louise huffed. “Shooting a gun when he damn well knows Teddy is up here. Scared me half to death, I thought he’d killed you!”

            Alfie felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was overwhelmed with the feeling of happiness. Being given a new lease on life with the woman he loved. “It were my fault.” He excused weakly.

            “Hmpf, men and their guns.” She shook her head and placed two plates down at the small breakfast nook.

            He smiled and hugged her. “You’re lovely.” He murmured softly and kissed her cheek. There didn’t seem like any other route he wanted to take. He thought disposing of himself would be easiest for everyone involved. But perhaps Tommy was right. Louise kept him stronger and kept him fighting. With her, by his side, he had a chance of living out at least a few more years. Maybe even a bit longer without the stress of the bakery on his shoulders. Still, it didn’t matter if he dropped dead the next day. As long as he knew he was going peacefully with Louise. For so long he assumed he would die by the sword, die by the lifestyle he so viciously pursued. But maybe cancer was just a bigger sword. A bigger battle he had to face. And he had faced so many battles with Louise by his side. What was one more?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Retirement was a lot easier when you had a growing baby to raise. Alfie was sure that if they didn’t have Teddy he’d be driving himself and Louise crazy with boredom. He had grown into the role as a family man and by Hanukah, he felt perfectly comfortable as a father.

            They hadn’t been back at Camden together since Louise gave birth to Teddy. It was nice to be in the countryside or on the shores in Margate but it was also lovely to be back with family and friends. Back to the place where Louise and Alfie fell in love.

            Ollie’s house sparked with noise when they saw Alfie enter with a little bundle in his arms. He smiled and nodded. “Alright, alright, start the bidding at three pounds, who wants him first?”

            “Oh, Alfie.” Louise sighed and rolled her eyes at him auctioning over their baby.

            Tante Raisa managed to get a hold of Teddy first. She cradled the baby close and whispered soft Yiddish blessings to him. “Alfie, such a handsome boy!” She exclaimed while Alfie took his wife’s coat. “You both must be so proud.”

            “What’s the name then?” Ollie walked over with two of his kids hanging off his legs. “Alfie Jr?”

            His former boss laughed and shook his head. “Louise wouldn’t let that one happen. Theodore Solomons. We call him Teddy.” He answered and looked fondly at his son in Raisa’s arms.

            “But we gave him a Hebrew name as well,” Louise added with a smile. “Tovi.”

            “My good,” Alfie explained the meaning of the name.

            Raisa smiled warmly and touched Teddy’s cheek. “I’m sure he’ll bring you a lot of good.” She turned. “Eva, come see the baby!” She exclaimed.

            “And he’s not our problem for the rest of the evening.” Alfie teased and wrapped an arm around his wife’s waist. She smiled and allowed herself to be tempted away by Vera and Evelyn. Alfie watched as she happily fawned over Evelyn’s engagement ring. Ishmael had finally proposed once he got a substantial cut from Alfie’s retirement.

            The small apartment was full of good spirits and warm hearts. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and reflecting on the year. After the meal, Ollie stood up to make a bit of a toast.

            “I just wanted to say another congratulation to Evelyn and Ishmael for their engagement. It’s about time.”

            Ishmael’s face turned red but he smiled and wrapped an arm around his fiancée who looked overjoyed.

            “And Alfie and Louise. Who knew a little boy would be the thing to make him retire.” Ollie joked.

            Louise laughed softly. Teddy was fast asleep in her arms despite the celebration around him. She glanced over and half expected Alfie to be there but she didn’t see him. Frowning, she scanned the party in the parlor to find her husband. Still, there was no sight of him.

            “Alfie?” Ollie realized the man wasn’t in the room either. “Did he step out?”

            Louise sighed. “Shay, will you take Teddy?” She handed the baby to Ollie’s wife before stepping out of the apartment. The winter air was a big shock after being in the warm company of family.

            She shivered and pulled on her coat, wrapping it tightly around herself. The streets of Camden were empty; most were inside celebrating the holidays. The apartments lining the streets were all lit up, casting a glow over the freezing, gray streets.

            There was only one place Alfie would be in Camden. So she began walking down the lane to the bakery, which wasn’t too far from Ollie’s.

~~~~~~~~~~

            The doors were still as heavy as always when Louise pushed her shoulder against them. She was relieved to see her husband standing in the center of the bare bakery. His heavy black coat and wide-brimmed hat making him the largest thing in the room.

            “Alfie?” She spoke quietly so she didn’t startle him.

            He turned and smiled weakly. “What’re doing here, love?”

            “You came up missing and I assumed you came here.” She walked over to him, her heels clicking loudly across the concrete floor and echoing. “Ollie was toasting you.”

            He chuckled and ran a hand over his beard. “That right? Well, glad I wasn’t there. Don’t usually like being called out like that.” He shrugged sheepishly and held out a hand to her.

            She took it and let him pull her close, burying her in his warm layers. His scent had changed after his retirement. No longer did he smell like rum on a daily basis. Instead, he had taken on the scent of Margate, even if he didn’t realize it. Louise inhaled softly and relished in the comforting scent of sandalwood. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek to his chest. Alfie kissed the scarf covering her hair.

            “What are you thinking?” She asked quietly. It was so strange being inside the bakery again. It didn’t feel like the same place now that it was so empty. It felt like a ghost town without the shouts of the bakers, sounds of heavy boots, the loud clanging of machinery, and the occasional barking from Alfie. The building had lost its soul. But it didn’t make her sad; it only made her nostalgic in a way.

            “First met you here, didn’t I?” He murmured. “Right out there, standing like a lost little flower.”

            She smiled and looked up at him. “With a few missing petals.”

            He nodded and ran a thumb down her cheek. “This is where I fell in love with you.”

            Louise gratefully leaned into his touch. “Mhm…”

            “This is where I killed that fucking terrible excuse for a human.” He grumbled and subtly glanced over to the spot where Daniel had finally fallen after stabbing him.

            Louise hardly even thought about her ex. Barely even considered him her late husband anymore. He was simply a man she had unwittingly fallen for and learned the hard truth of life. She didn’t want to waste time thinking about him when she had such a beautiful family in the present moment.

            “And I thought I lost you for good because of what I’d fucking done.” He sighed quietly. “Just thought it would make things better.”

            “I know.” Louise murmured softly. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

            He shook his head. “Lou, all I’ve ever wanted, right, was for you to be happy.”

            “I am happy.”

            A chill rushed through the drafty building and Alfie tightened his arms around her to keep her warm. “Maybe I don’t know what’s best for you. Everything I’ve done…”

            “Alfie,” She touched a finger to his lips. “What’s really on your mind?” Sometimes it was much better to interrupt his long rambling speeches because they were merely words that covered up his true thoughts.

            He took a deep breath. “I’m scared of leaving you.”

            “You’re not going anywhere, love, you’re right here.” She grazed her knuckles over his beard.

            His throat tightened. “What if I only have a few months left, Louise?” He whispered. “Hardly enough time for Teddy to even remember me fucking face.”

            “I would never let him forget you.” She insisted firmly. “I know we have more time together, I can feel it. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon. And no matter how much time we have left, I’ll be taking care of you, right by your side the entire time.”

            He dipped his head down and touched his cheek to hers. “I’m scared.” His voice was weaker than she’d ever heard it. “Lou, I’m so scared, don’t want to leave you and Ted.”

            “Sh, it’s okay, love.” Louise held him close in the center of the bakery. “Whatever time we have left we’ll make the most of it. I’m just so glad you’re here with me now. You're allowed to be scared, I am too. But in the end, we'll all be okay.”

            Alfie nodded and realized Tommy made the right decision for him. “I’m glad you’re here with me too.” He held his wife. His beautiful wife. The woman who had given him his son. It was one thing to wait for Death to arrive and take him by the hand, it was another to turn his back to the devil and focus on the things he loved in the living world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few more chapters planned out but this fic will be coming to an end soon. Just a heads up!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for 300 kudos. I hate to say it but this fic will be ending soon. I've written the last chapter so I just need to write the rest of it and wrap it all up.

            Teddy Solomons’ first word, thankfully, was not ‘fuck’. Alfie was certain that if that word had slipped out of the baby’s mouth, he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as his wife ever again. What was more surprising was what he actually _did_ say because Alfie certainly wasn't expecting it.

           

            Alfie was entertaining the baby while Louise peacefully read in the parlor. He held Teddy up on his lap, making faces to make him laugh and shriek with glee. It amazed Alfie how easy it was to make Teddy happy. Sometimes all it took was crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue to make the baby erupt in a fit of giggles. 

            “Da!” Teddy squealed and reached to tug on Alfie’s beard, one of his favorite past times as of late.

            Louise looked over the top of her book. “Did he just say what I think he said?” She perked up in surprise.

            “Just gibberish.” Her husband shook his head and wrote it off as nothing. “Babbling on as usual, aye?” He teased and wiggled Teddy’s toes. "Speaking your own little language?" 

            He giggled and pulled a bit harder on his father's beard. “Dada!” He chirped again.

            Louise stood up, setting her book aside, and walked over. “Alfie, he’s saying dada.” She insisted.

            Alfie wasn’t sure how old children were when they took certain milestones. Ollie had given him an estimate but all of his kids ranged from early to late bloomers so it was hard to say for sure. Time seemed to pass by so fast as Teddy grew so it seemed far too early for the baby to be saying any intelligent words. “It’s an easy sound for him to make, I’m sure it’s just nonsense.”

            “You don’t think he’s smart enough to be speaking yet?” She challenged and put her hands on her hips.

            He made a face at her remark. “He’s me son, innit he? That means he’s fucking smart.” He asserted. “Ted, who’s that?” He tested out the theory by pointing at Louise. Teddy giggled and mimicked his father pointing but didn’t say anything.

            “Who’s that, love?” Louise pointed back at Alfie.

            “Dada!” He responded and beamed as if he knew exactly how substantial his first word was.

            She looked smug with herself. “Told you.”

            “I stand corrected then.” Alfie chuckled and gently patted Teddy on the back. Pride bloomed in his chest. He was his son's very first word. It made him feel more important than anything else he'd ever done in his life. “Fucking bright as can be, innit he?”

            “Hush, you can’t swear around him anymore because he’ll start to pick up on it!” She reminded him. But it was hard to be stern, Louise was also pleased to hear Teddy address Alfie first. She wanted him to know how important he was to the little boy. 

            “Sorry, love. Right, gotta start biting my tongue.” He couldn’t get the great big smile off his face though and eventually just began to laugh. However, mid-way through, his chest seized and he erupted in a coughing fit.

            It was hard to forget about their reality for too long. Although Alfie was in good spirits and was able to stay fairly active, there was always something reminding them of his cancer. The frequent headaches that never seemed to end. The deep ache he felt in his body every morning and every night. He became out of breath often and sometimes became light-headed from how severe his coughing fits were.

            Louise picked up Teddy from his lap and sat him down on the rug for a moment. “It’s okay, try to breathe slowly.” She soothed

            Alfie’s face turned red and stood up to walk out of the room, staggering a few steps. More often than not, his violent coughing upset Teddy and he couldn’t have that. He wasn't sure what his son would remember of him, but he certainly didn't want his only memories of him to be a coughing bout. Alfie walked into the foyer and put a hand on the stair railing to steady himself. After a painful few moments, he managed to get the coughing under control. He took a few wheezing breaths and looked up.

            Louise stood in the doorway with Teddy in her arms. The little boy didn’t seem upset and merely toyed with his mother’s curls. “Okay?” She asked softly.

            Alfie nodded and cleared his throat once more. “Sorry, love.”

            “Don’t apologize.” She walked over and touched his cheek. “Don’t ever apologize for something beyond your control.” It made her ache knowing there was little to nothing she could do to ease his pain. She felt as if she were failing as a wife. 

            He smiled weakly and leaned into her touch. “Just wish you didn’t have to see me like that.”

            She sat down on the stairs and gestured for him to sit beside her. Setting Teddy on his lap, she gently stroked her husband’s hair back. “Remember when I said I never wanted you to change? I want you just the way you are. This isn’t you but it’s something you’re fighting. You don’t need to try to shield me from the difficult parts. Whatever you’re fighting, I’m right there beside you.”

            “Dada.” Teddy cooed and wrapped his little fingers around Alfie’s white shirt.

            Alfie kissed the top of his son’s head and then his wife’s cheek. “Can’t imagine going through any of this without you two.” His voice was still ragged from coughing. “You keep me going.”

            There was no telling how much time Alfie had left. Doctor Stephens said there was a good chance he’d have a few years but warned him to be wary of his health. But seeing Teddy make such milestones made Alfie happy and just a hint more optimistic than he had been before his birth.

 

 

            That night, a warm June evening, Alfie and Louise went for a walk. Teddy was fast asleep upstairs and would most likely be asleep a few hours before he woke up for a nappy change or to nurse.

            Alfie was in a good deal of pain and tried to cope by walking through it. Most nights it was hard to just stay lying awake in bed. At least when he was walking outside he could forget about the pain and focus on something else other than the ceiling.

            They walked along the grounds together, arm in arm with Alfie holding a lantern to light their usual path past the stables and around the pastures.

            “Can’t believe it’s already summer,” Louise commented. The night was alive with all sorts of insects beginning their nightly symphony. A warm breeze kicked up the scent of the roses that were just beginning to bloom. It was heavenly and managed to distract them from everything even just for a little while. 

            “Can’t believe Teddy’ll be one in the fall.” He agreed. The year had passed by far too quickly in his eyes. It seemed only yesterday he was holding his son for the very first time after he was born. 

            “We’ll have to throw a party for him. Wouldn’t it be nice to have everyone over here? Some could stay for the weekend, his birthday’s on a Friday.” She smiled.

            “That would be lovely, yeah. I mean for fuck’s sake, I didn’t think I’d last this long.” He admitted. “On borrowed time, ain’t I?”

            “No,” She shook her head and reached for his hand, threading her fingers with his. “You’re here for a reason. We’re together for a reason and we’ve Teddy for a reason.” She murmured softly and squeezed his hand lightly. “I don’t know what the reason is but I won’t question it. You make me happy and I think that’s reason enough.”

            He smiled and lifted her hand up to kiss her knuckles. Frankly, he couldn’t imagine going about his life without meeting Louise. He used to have some semblance of a master plan involving the bakery and his other various business ventures. He’d finally put Darby Sabini out of commission and rule a bigger piece of London. But with plans like that, he was sure he would never truly be satisfied. With Louise and Teddy, he had everything he needed. He didn’t need more from them; all he needed was to see their faces each and every day.

            “Do you think I’m right?” Louise asked curiously.

            “You’re my wife, you’re always right, love.” He grinned and stopped to kiss her.

 

 

_“One day you’re going to wake up in Inglewood, next to your wife. Your son or daughter will run into the room to wake you up and beg for you to come and play with them.”_

            Louise was usually right; Alfie had learned that in both positive and negative ways. Alfie liked when she was right because it gave him a sort of comfort for the future. She reassured him that he would continue living and that he would be there to experience his son growing up. He saw Teddy’s first birthday, then his second, and was gearing up to see his third as well. He was there, kneeling on the ground, arms outstretched as Teddy took his first steps. He heard Teddy call Louise ‘mumma’. Heard him call Cyril, Cee-Cee. Watched him grow taller and start to walk and run without falling over.

            Alfie felt so blessed and every morning he was reminded how great it was to wake up and find himself where he was. Louise was asleep beside him, her arm outstretched and hand lingering on his chest.

            That morning, Teddy came toddling into the room, going right for his father’s side of the bed. Alfie was always up before Louise was, mostly because of his previous habits of waking early for work and because of the ache in his body that kept him up. But he was never too tired for Teddy.

            “Dada.” The little boy whispered, well aware that his mother was still sleeping.

            “There you are, already awake?” Alfie reached over and scooped Teddy up, letting him sit on his chest. “Don’t want to sleep in, aye?”

            “No.” He giggled and grabbed at his feet, pressing his heels together and rocking back and forth.

            Alfie held him steady. “What’s on the agenda today, then?” He asked softly. “Take a drive somewhere?”

            “Ponies!”

            “Sh, sh, mumma’s still asleep.” He whispered and motioned for him to be quiet.

            Teddy mimicked the finger to his lips and giggled. “Shhhhh…”

            Louise turned over and began to stir.

            “Uh oh, Ted, we’ve done it now.” Alfie grinned.

            “What’ve you done?” She mumbled with her eyes still closed.

            “Mummy!” Teddy squealed and wriggled off Alfie to greet her. He burrowed under the quilt and cuddled close to her. “Mumma, ponies.”

            Louise yawned and wrapped her arms around her son, pulling him close to her chest like a little teddy bear. “It’s a bit early to see the ponies, love.” She murmured, still half asleep.

            “Mumma, sleep,” Teddy whispered and placed a pudgy hand over her eyes.

            She laughed softly and took his hand to kiss it. “Just for a little longer. Then we’ll have breakfast before going outside.” She promised.

            Alfie leaned on his elbow to watch mother and son cuddle close. Such an undeniable bond that made him relieved. Even after he was gone, they would still have that connection. No matter what happened to him, they would both have each other long after he passed. “C’mere.” He murmured and drew them both close to him, wrapping them up in his arms as a protective cocoon. He could’ve remained in that moment forever and be eternally happy. Hearing both of their soft inhales and exhales, faintly feeling their heartbeats, and enveloped in their warmth. They were just a small speck in the world, a small bit of dust in the grand scheme of things. But at that moment, Alfie felt like he was embracing the entire world, holding it in his arms and keeping it safe. Because they were the only two things that mattered on the planet as far as he was concerned.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exhausted to be honest. I saw Dear Evan Hansen today and cried the entire time. So emotionally exhausted. So I finished writing this and cried again. Literally...cannot cry....anymore today. Enjoy.

            It was seven in the morning when Teddy Solomons came catapulting down the stairs. His nanny tried to keep up but he jumped the last two steps and stumbled into his father’s study.

            Alfie chucked when the little boy slid across the polished wood floors in his socks. He stood and caught his son before he collided with Cyril who was nearly the same size as Teddy. “And here comes Theodore Solomons coming in fast as a bolt of lightning!” He grinned.

            Elizabeth, the nanny they'd hired around Teddy's second birthday, came running in. "Sorry Mr. Solomons, tried to keep up with him." She panted breathlessly. Tending for the active boy was a work out every day. 

            "S'alright, Liz, I've got him. Go and get some breakfast." Alfie relieved her of her duties. 

            Breathless and wide-eyed, Teddy grabbed Alfie’s beard. “Daddy, it’s my birthday!” He chirped happily.

            Alfie rested him on his hip. “Oh no, that can’t be right. You just had a birthday.” He teased and pretended to be serious. “Weren’t it just last month? Yeah, you ain’t any older, mate. Just a regular old day.”

            Teddy just giggled. “No!”

            “Yep, in fact, think it’s my birthday.” He chuckled and playfully threw Teddy over his shoulder, “What’d you get me, then?”

            The toddler shrieked with joy. “Not your birthday!”

            Every single day reminded Alfie how lucky he was. What sort of happiness he’d found on borrowed time. Teddy was the light of his life and vice versa. The bond between father and son was unbreakable. It reassured Alfie that when his time came, he made a lasting impression in Teddy’s life. One that would hopefully last.

            Alfie carried Teddy out to the patio where Louise was enjoying the brisk fall morning. The two foxhounds they bought were outside with her. They were strays that she’d found wandering the pastures. Of course, Alfie couldn’t turn them away and figured they could be helpful. He managed to train them to be protective and to tag along on Louise’s daily rides on Paris. That way he could be assured that she had some sort of defense if she ever needed it even if Surrey was very tamed compared to London. Cyril was far too lazy to get the task done, especially at his age, and Alfie certainly wasn’t going to get on a horse and join his wife. So, they brought in the dogs and let Teddy name them. Thus, Baby and Ollie were welcomed into the Solomons household. Of course the latter being named after Alfie’s former assistant whom Teddy adored.

            “There’s the birthday boy!” Louise exclaimed and the hounds began to yip happily. Cyril stood his ground beside Alfie, nipping at the pups if they got too close to him.

            “Hold on now, ain’t his birthday.”

            Louise gave her husband a playful look. “Don’t tease him. Of course, it is!”

            “Oh, right, s’pose it is then.” He chuckled and handed over the now three-year-old to her.

            “Hello, love, happy birthday.” She murmured to Teddy, kissing his cheek a few times.

            Teddy giggled and clung to her. “I’m three.” He reminded her.

            “Three?” Alfie sat down, letting Cyril sit between his knees. Baby and Ollie began to chase each other in circles around the yard. “No, no, can’t be three.” He shook his head adamantly and stroked Cyril’s ears. “Three is practically all grown up.”

            Louise smiled and sat down at the patio table as well. “Next thing you know you’ll be dressing up suits like daddy.” But behind her smile, she knew there was a bittersweetness to the day. She’d woken up that morning even before Alfie. Sitting up in bed, she stared at the wall, dumbfounded. Her little boy was going to be three. Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was holding him for the first time? Wasn’t it just last week that she married Alfie? It couldn’t have been more than a year since she first met him standing outside of the bakery. Life moved so fast. She just wanted to grab the passing time and dig her heels into the ground. Try and hold it back from going by so fast so she could savor the moments just a little longer. Just one more minute. One more second.

 

            Teddy was spoiled on his birthday. They went for a drive to town to go shopping. He got to ride Paris, sitting in front of Louise in the saddle. His hands over hers on the reins as they slowly walked around on the mare, Alfie watching from the fence.

            Before dinner, he opened his presents, enough toys to last him his entire childhood as far as Louise thought. But she couldn’t say no to Alfie who wanted to give Teddy things he could remember his father by. And it was such a gift seeing the little boy tear open the wrapping paper with a glow in his eyes. To see Alfie lying on his stomach, pushing a toy train around the carpet with Teddy crashing a toy car into the caboose.

            Then to finish it off, a big chocolate cake. Just like the one made for Louise’s birthday every year at Inglewood. Teddy was delighted and by the time he’d had his share, he needed a thorough bath to wash off all the chocolate from his hair, face, and hands.

 

            While Louise bathed their son, Alfie retired to the bedroom. Cyril plodded off to bed; ready to call it a day after keeping an eye on Teddy and trying to keep Baby and Ollie in line.

            Alfie leaned down to pat the bullmastiff on the head. “Good, lad. Family man now, aye? Used to be just us bachelors ‘fore. Now, look at us.” He chuckled and straightened up with a pained groan. Every bone and muscle in his body screamed out. He was so tired. The cancer was wearing him down, slowly taking out every ounce of energy he had left. He feared the day he wouldn’t be able to keep up with Teddy.

            He sighed and slipped his shirt over his head, tossing it to the hamper. He paused by the mirror on Louise’s vanity. Time really did seem to catch up with him. He wasn’t the rabid young man who was a captain in the war. Not the fit boy who could beat the ever living shit out of men twice his size. The clean-shaven man who only sported a bruise here and there.

            But the war. That’s when he started to wear the burdens life had given him. Scars. Bullet wounds. Unforgettable bits of violence always marked into his skin.

            The tattoos. To remember or perhaps to warn others. A man who wasn’t afraid of death and certainly wasn’t afraid of a little needle.

            Now, what was left? He was thinner, thinner than he’d been since he was prepubescent. The cancer appeared to be eating away at him. He grew thinner and horrendous lesions littering his skin. Marks that made him sick to look at. He thought it was a wonder that his son wasn’t afraid to look at him and his wife still kissed him. Alfie felt as if he were a piece of metal that was slowly rusting away. Then, in the end, there’d be nothing left but dust.

 

            The door opened and Louise stepped in. “Alfie?” She asked gently.

            He was pulled from his thoughts and glanced over at her. “Yeah, love?”

            She frowned when she noticed the preoccupied look in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

            “Yeah, ‘course. What could be wrong?” He forced a smile and went to finish getting changed for bed.

            “Alright…well, Teddy’s ready to be tucked in.”

            He nodded and walked over to the door, stopping to kiss her cheek. “Love you.” Most days, he couldn’t say it enough to her. He wanted his wife to always have that locked in her mind even when he was long gone. Always wanted her to know that he loved her more than life itself.

            She smiled. “I love you too.”

 

            Alfie nudged open Teddy’s door and smiled. “Got all the chocolate off your face, yeah?”

            “Yeah.” Teddy beamed. His dark hair still a bit damp from the bath, his cherub cheeks still pink from the warm water. “Mummy said I couldn’t keep any of it for later.”

            His father laughed and sat down on the edge of his bed. “I’m sure Baby and Ollie would come in to lick it off you.”

            “Ew!” The little boy wrinkled up his nose. “Yuck.”

            “Yeah, yuck.” Alfie chuckled and reached over to move aside a piece of hair stuck to Teddy’s forehead. “Look at you.” He said quietly in disbelief. “Can’t believe how big you’ve grown.”

            “Gonna be big like you,” Teddy announced happily.

            “That right? You don’t want to stay this little forever?”

            “No!”

            Alfie smiled sadly. He knew he’d never see Teddy as a grown man. As much as he would love to see what a great person he knew his son would become. If fate was on time, he wouldn’t see that day. “Alright then, right, you can get bigger. Long as you never forget dad, aye?”

            “Okay.” Teddy didn’t understand. Alfie was always there. The longest they’d been apart is when Alfie and Louise took a holiday one weekend. Ollie and Shayna watched the little boy while they were away. But other than that, Alfie had been there every day. Teddy couldn’t comprehend being without him. The little boy didn’t even understand what death was.

            “Good.” Alfie kissed his forehead. “Love you lots. Sleep well, yeah?”

            “Good night, daddy.”

            “Good night, Ted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up! I will always denote when this fic ends. So don't worry, I'll make sure it's clear. Thanks for reading!


	38. Chapter 38

            “Can you believe it, Teddy? Aye? An MP.”

            Teddy was on the floor, pushing a wooden train around the rug. He was a fairly quiet little boy and could entertain himself longer than most toddlers. The soothing atmosphere of the office kept him at ease. His father constantly smudging the ink on the paper, mumbling incoherent curses, and Cyril watching from his bed in the corner.

            The three-year-old giggled, oblivious to what Alfie was actually talking about. He beamed up at his father. “Daddy, look at my train.”

            Alfie smiled. “Yeah, that’s your train. Where’s it off to then?” He grunted as he heaved himself up out of the leather desk chair. He held the paper in his hand as he painstakingly lowered himself down to sit on the rug beside his sun.

            “I dunno.” Teddy lifted his shoulders dramatically.

            “How ‘bout…” He winced as he tried to adjust how he was sitting to alleviate the pain in his hip. “It’s off to visit Cyril.”

            The little boy giggled and pushed the train over to Cyril who was watching Teddy from his well-worn bed. His chin rested on his paws, his sad eyes half-closed. Finally, Teddy gently tapped the engine against the mastiff’s nose. Cyril hardly even flinched. Instead, his tail started to thump happily against the floor.

            “Choo choo!” Teddy crowed happily.

            “Alright, bring it back then, back to dad.” Alfie leaned back on his elbow, scanning the rest of the article about Tommy Shelby becoming an MP. A landslide they called it. Clearly the popular choice for the labor party. “Crazy gypsy.” He muttered under his breath. Politics was the absolute last thing Alfie would ever want to be involved in. Sure it brought a lot of power and weight in the game, but all the regulations and rules. Not to mention how much time it probably took up. No thank you. Alfie was quite content with spending time with his family.

            Of course, Tommy Shelby wasn’t dying. Or he wasn’t dying as fast as Alfie was. Course the Blinder could be shot down any day, but he highly doubted it after everything he pulled with the Italians.

            Teddy scampered back over to Alfie, running the train over his legs as if they were hills. Alfie chuckled. “Bumpy track, aye?”

            “Bumpy.” His son mimicked.

            “Well, at least I’m not a fucking MP like Tommy Shelby.” He sighed.

            Teddy sat back, pressing the soles of his feet together. His blue eyes looked up at his father. “Fucking MP.”

            Alfie’s eyes widened and he realized he’d really done it that time. He should’ve realized the day would come, Teddy echoed him day in and day out like a parrot. Louise was stern with him, saying he needed to cut back on the swearing while in Teddy’s presence or he’d pick it up sooner or later. Apparently, it had come sooner.

            “Fucking MP,” Teddy said again.

            “Hey, hey, can’t say that.” He was not the disciplinary of the household. It nearly broke his heart to scold the little boy or tell him no. Ollie often teased him for being such a pushover. Leave it to a three-foot toddler to make him go soft.

            Teddy tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Why?” Since he was so curious, he always asked that. He was never content with just accepting things the way they were. He wanted to know where the sun went at night. He wanted to know why horses and dogs walked on four legs. He wanted to know how cars worked. Often times, Alfie was at a loss under his intensive questioning. Sometimes he had to make things up on the spot just to satisfy his inquiries. He prided himself on being pretty clever, but when Teddy asked where babies came from; he had to stammer his way through a bullshit excuse about storks.

            “’Cause it’s a naughty word.” Alfie tried to explain, hoping that was enough of an explanation.

            Of course, it wasn’t. “Why?”

            “I dunno, just is.”

            Teddy frowned, clearly displeased by his lack of an answer. “Why?” He pressed again.

            Alfie couldn’t help but chuckle and tousle his hair. “Because someone a long time ago said so. Can’t say it, at least not around mum.”

            He smiled, a little mischief glinting in his eyes. He loved keeping little secrets from his mother. Secrets just he and Alfie knew. Like how Cyril would always get a few table scraps when Louise wasn’t looking. Or how Alfie let him stay up just a little bit later to read another book together. What they didn’t know was Louise was well aware of their secrets. She just simply chose to look the other way. She adored seeing the bond between father and son.

            “Okay.” Teddy put a finger to his lips. “Shhh.”

            “Yeah, shhh.” Alfie smiled and checked his watch. Louise was due back from her ride at any moment. He stood up, shaking out the pins and needles in his legs. “There she is.” As if on cue, he looked out the window and saw his wife riding Paris down the gravel drive. The two foxhounds trotting after the mare’s feet. Louise usually rode a loop around the property, where Alfie thought she’d be safest, from the stables to the front gate. Despite the remote location, Alfie still insisted she brought the dogs with her who were trained to attack humans as well as animals and that she carried her handgun. Old habits died hard and a gangster, even if retired, couldn’t help but always look over his shoulder.

            Alfie stretched his stiff back. “How’s about you and me go out to greet mum? Get some air?”

            Teddy smiled and lifted himself up. He followed his father to the front hall grabbing at his pant leg.

            “Gotta get your coat on, mate, don’t want ya to catch your death.” He retrieved Teddy’s baby blue coat and knelt down to get it on. “Right, looking handsome now, just like dad, yeah?”

            Teddy giggled. “Handsome.” He tugged at the collar of his coat.

            “That’s right,” Alfie grunted as he stood up. “You hold dad’s hand now, don’t want you running off, aye?” He had to stoop a little to let his son take his hand. “Good lad.”

            The two stepped out as Louise was dismounting. Baby and Ollie came rushing over to see them. Teddy squealed as the hounds licked his cheeks affectionately.

            “Right, you two. Leave him be.” Alfie shooed them off to the direction of the stables.

            “There are my boys.” Louise smiled warmly and walked over with Paris plodding beside her. “Finally come outside?”

            “Well, had to come out and see you.” He smiled and rubbed the mare’s cheek. “How are you, lass?” He’d warmed up to the idea of horses a little more although he still wouldn’t dream of getting on one.

            Paris nickered softly and lowered her head to sniff at Teddy. He giggled and reached up to gently feel the horse’s whiskers. She exhaled, the warm air blowing through his dark hair. “Par.” He cooed and touched his cheek to her muzzle. The little boy was fearless when it came to animals. It got to the point where Alfie had to be extra careful he didn’t go running off toward any of the wild animals that happened to pass through the lawn. Teddy was positive the fox that lived at the outskirts of the forest would love a good cuddle. Alfie was positive that he would _not_.

            “Let me set her out in the pasture and then we can have tea on the terrace,” Louise suggested. “How’s that sound, my loves?” She bent down to kiss her son’s forehead, using her sleeve to wipe dog slobber off his cherub cheeks.

            “Sounds good to me.” Her husband nodded. “Let’s see the goats, eh?” He squeezed Teddy’s hand gently and followed Louise and Paris back to the stables.

            While she untacked and brushed the mare, Alfie brought Teddy over to the pasture fence where a few goats and a mule kept Paris company. The goats bleated as they approached. They usually expected treats when Teddy came over.

            “How’s ‘bout you give them those dandelions?” Alfie pointed to the thatch of grass beside the pasture. “Get the weeds, two birds with one stone, yeah?”

            Teddy crouched down and yanked up the yellow dandelions. He walked over to the goats, who already had their heads poking out between the fence posts, their lips smacking.

            “Careful of their teeth,” Alfie said as Teddy held the dandelions out and let the goats greedily snatch them away. The little boy clapped his hands together with a beaming smile, bits of dirt sticking to his palms. Then he lifted his hand to stick his fingers in his mouth, as toddlers often do. “Ah, ah, no, nasty innit?” His father stopped him. “Come on, let’s get you washed up. Mum will be done soon.”

            As they walked back up the gravel drive to the house, Alfie heard the distinct sound of a car driving up. He wasn’t expecting anyone for a visit so it was highly unusual. He instinctually tensed and scooped up Teddy. His large frame holding him securely, the man always ready to take a barrage of bullets for his son if need be. He peered a bit and saw Tommy Shelby driving up with Johnny Dogs and Charlie in the car with him.

            Alfie relaxed a bit but kept Teddy in his arms just in case he ran off towards the car. He saw a trailer was hooked up to the car, which was just as strange as the Blinder coming to visit unannounced. Since he was retired, there wasn’t much need for interaction with Tommy. But they crossed paths every so often. Some charity events he and Louise attended, they chatted with him. Every so often, Alfie would catch news about Tommy’s business. Legitimate or not. But since the men had left on good terms, and Alfie had stayed true to his word and remained retired, there wasn’t any more bad blood.

           

            He waited as the car pulled around the circle drive and stopped near the path that led to the stables.

            Tommy got out, Johnny helping Charlie out. “Alfie.” The Shelby walked over to him.

            “Unexpected surprise, nearly put a fucking bullet in your windshield, Tommy,” Alfie said tersely, already forgetting he had to quit swearing in front of Teddy. But Tommy brought out that side of him more often than not. “You could’ve called me beforehand.”

            “Been out all day, didn’t have time.” Tommy smiled when he saw Alfie in his now natural state of being a father. “Hello, Teddy. Look at how big you are. Look like your mum, you do.”

            Alfie always felt a sense of pride when people acknowledged what a precious little thing Teddy was. “Got me eyes though, don't he?”

            “Yeah, can see that.” Tommy nodded in agreement. “Charlie, that’s Teddy, just a bit younger than you.

            His son smiled shyly and remained close to Tommy’s leg. “Hi.” He said softly.

            “Is Louise ‘round? Got a present for the both of you.” Tommy said as a sharp neigh coming from the trailer.

            Louise walked from the stables, tugging off her gloves. “Tommy, what a surprise.” She smiled. “Hi, Charlie. Look at you, handsome boy.” She cooed and remarked at how big the boy had gotten.

            “Mr. Shelby has a present for us,” Alfie told her. “Keeping us in suspense, I s’pose.”

            “Johnny, will you go get him?” Tommy asked and pulled a cigarette out.

            “Don’t smoke around my fucking kid, mate.” The Jewish man grunted firmly.

            Louise put her hands on her hips and gave her husband a look. “Don’t swear around him.”

            Teddy pressed a hand to Alfie’s mouth. “Naughty word!” He scolded.

            Alfie sighed. “Sorry, sorry.”

            Tommy chuckled and tucked the silver container away. “S’your home, I’ll respect that.” Of course, the Blinder found the interaction amusing. Used to be you couldn’t count the number of times Alfie swore in one minute on both hands. Now it appeared domestic bliss was really taking a toll on his vocabulary.

            Alfie grunted and let Teddy down. “Go show Charlie the goats, Ted.” He shooed the boys off but kept an eye on them.

            Johnny came around the trailer leading a handsome, well-built, dark bay stallion.

            “Oh, Tommy, he’s gorgeous.” Louise gasped softly. She approached the horse, stroking his shoulder and inspecting his legs and hooves. He was well-muscled and looked strong.

            “Retired off the track, name’s Birmingham’s Jewel, we call him Burr,” Tommy explained. “Still young though, a thoroughbred mixed with Arabian. I’d like to see if he can sire a few foals, see if any of them could make money on the track.”

            “You want Paris to foal?” Louise asked glancing over at the pastures. Her beloved mare grazing the lush grass, her stunning black coat shining in the sun.

            Alfie frowned and stepped in. He didn’t know much about horses, but he knew enough about wagers and racing to catch on to what Tommy was suggesting. “Hold on, I ain’t letting you use her mare to make you money, mate. Not making ties with you Blinders.”

            Tommy stuck his hands in his pockets. “It’s all perfectly legal, Alfie. No need to fix races anymore.” He explained steadily. “All for sport now. Thinking we could half and half on the horse if it makes it anywhere. May Carleton can train; I’ll pay you for that as well as any other expenses.”

            “Yeah?” Alfie weighed the offer. He knew how much Louise loved horses and figured it might be a joy for her to have foals around. But he still considered it a risk. Anything with Tommy usually was. “Right, what if Lou wants to keep the foal? She can decide whether it races or not, very fond of her horses she is. I think that’s fair if she decides.”

            “It’s okay.” She touched her husband’s arm. “I trust they’ll treat them well on the track. When they’re retired you can bring them here. We have plenty of stall space.”

            “Fair enough.” Tommy nodded. “Meanwhile, you can have Burr to ride. He’s still sound, got hot blood though. Doesn’t spook often but can be strong on the bit.”

            “Hang on, you passing off your devil horse to my wife, Shelby?” Alfie didn’t like the idea of his wife riding a horse with Birmingham blood in him.

            “Alfie…”

            He shook his head calmly. “He’s not dangerous, I’m sure she could handle him.”

            Alfie muttered under his breath something about gypsy horses. But decided it wasn’t worth getting into an argument with the Blinder.

            “I’m sure he’s lovely, I can handle it.” Louise cut off her husband. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Tommy. I’d love Paris to have a beau of her own. Don’t you think, dear?” She gave an extra flutter of her eyelashes to make her husband cave in.

            “That alright with you, Mr. Solomons?” Tommy asked.

            Alfie scratched at his beard. It was painfully difficult to say no to Louise just like it was saying no to his son. Of course, she knew she could get him with those doe-eyes. “S’her decision. But if that beast gives her trouble, you’re taking him back. Won’t have that mess here.”           

            “I can do that.” The two sealed the deal with a spit and shake.

            “Go on and let her in the enclosed paddock, Johnny. I’ll keep them separate until they’ve become acquainted.” Louise suggested and walked over to the fence. “Paris is used to the goats and donkey. But May will sometimes come out for a ride with me. She gets along with the mare that she has.”

            Johnny led Burr over to the paddock and slipped off his halter, letting him loose. Burr took a few cantering strides out into the grass, scoping out his space. His hooves beating strong against the firm ground. He stopped at the fence and took a few laps around the enclosure, his nostrils flaring and ears perked forward in curiosity. His long legs stretched out as he trotted, showing off a bit. His head kept tossing about and he decided to trot over to the fence closest to where Paris was grazing.

            Tommy, Alfie, and Louise watched as Paris lifted her head when the stallion whinnied to her. She dutifully plodded over to him, taking her sweet time through the ankle-high grass. She decided to take a detour, going over to the goats that were eating grass from Charlie and Teddy. The mare nudged the goats aside and stuck her head over the fence to sniff at Teddy, affectionately running her muzzle over his hair.

            Burr looked expectantly and called out again as if to hurry her along. Paris lifted her head and began walking back over. The stallion nickered softly as she came to the fence separating them. He stretched out his neck to try and sniff her. But Paris paused and let out a low snort. Her ears pinned back and she turned away from him, walking away without a second glance.

            Burr whinnied loudly to try and bring her back but she ignored him.

            Alfie was positively chuffed at Paris’s indifference and chuckled. “She’s a heartbreaker, innit she? ‘Fraid it’ll be a while ‘fore you get your foal, Tommy.”

            “Oh, he’s so sweet. I’m sure she’ll warm up to him soon.” Louise nudged her husband. But she did look amused at the interaction.

            Tommy smiled and shook his head. “Well, I guess we’ll see if he wins her over anytime soon.”

            The stallion tried to coax the mare back, pacing up and down the fence, strutting his stuff, his tail lifted to accent his Arabian traits. Without so much as a glance, Paris continued grazing beside the donkey. Burr snorted in frustration but eventually gave up and lowered his head to nibble on the grass.

            “Alfie told me about the elections,” Louise mentioned. “What a responsibility.”

            Tommy nodded and watched Charlie wander over to Johnny who was chatting with the stable hand near the paddock where Burr was held. “Certainly won’t have a lot of free time but it’ll be worth it.”

            “Tommy Shelby, OBE, and MP.” Alfie shook his head. “Knew you were crazy, mate, but not this crazy.”

            “Politics can be used to help people, Alfie,” Tommy replied.

            “Mphf.” He simply grunted. “Whatever you say.”

            Teddy came over and tugged on Alfie’s pant leg. “Daddy, potty.” He requested urgently.

            “Alright, let’s go inside. You two better make sure that Paris don’t kick off.” He chuckled and began to walk Teddy back inside.

            “How’s he doing?” Tommy asked. The Blinder wouldn’t ask Alfie about his condition to his face. Most likely, it would incur wrath or simply a ‘fuck off’. Especially since the man had attempted to die much sooner than God intended.

            Louise sighed. “He hasn’t worsened as much as the doctors expected.” She chewed on her lip and watched Paris out in the pasture. “But he hasn’t gotten any better either. I just thought that…he’s lived longer than they expected. So maybe they got it wrong, or it’s not as serious as they initially said. But he’s still in so much pain. Won’t take medication to help with the aches or his lungs.” She shook her head. “Doesn’t even want to see the doctor anymore. Says he’s just ready to handle it how he handles it.”

            “Well, that’s certainly the man I knew.” Tommy agreed. “He seems happy though, happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

            She smiled and nodded. “I can be thankful for that. I think sometimes I push too hard to look into treatments. I forget that he just wants to spend time with Teddy and me.” She swallowed back tears that were starting to form in her throat. “I just want to give him the most time he can.”

            Tommy felt sympathetic for the woman. Losing Grace was difficult but he wondered if it was worse or better to know that your other half was dying. It couldn’t be easy knowing they were in so much pain. At least Grace went fairly quickly and relatively painlessly as far as he knew. But Louise was watching her husband suffer every day and there wasn’t much she could do about it. Tommy knew what it was like to stand there helplessly. You could call out for help all you wanted but there was no response.

            “Anything I can do?” Tommy asked even though he knew there wasn’t anything he could do within his power.

            “Afraid there isn’t much any of us can do.” She whispered. “As long as he’s happy and he’s living the way he wants to. He knows how he wants to die. I think he’ll know when it’s time, time to go to Margate.” She took a deep breath. Every day she tried to put it out of her mind that she was going to lose Alfie. But it was becoming more and more impossible to turn a blind eye. One night he was nearly in tears because of how much pain he was in. She often stayed up late some nights, just watching him breathe, hoping, praying he’ll keep breathing.

            “Mummy!” Teddy came running back outside across the gravel path.

            Louise wiped away the sadness on her face and bent down to pick up her son. “Hi, love.” She kissed his cheek.

            Alfie lagged behind, not able to keep up with Teddy’s pace anymore. He relied more on his cane those days and had a harder time breathing. But nevertheless, he persisted.

            “Mummy, new horse!” Teddy pointed at Burr.

            “Yes, isn’t he handsome? Let’s go say hello.” She offered and walked over to Johnny and the groom.

            “Be careful,” Alfie called after her. He didn’t want the unfamiliar horse chomping off a few of Teddy’s little fingers.

            “You’re living the dream, aye, Alfie?” Tommy asked and held out his cigarette pack as if asking for permission.

            “Yeah, yeah.” He nodded and let the Brummie light up a cigarette. “S’pose I am. Cancer isn’t ideal.” The Jewish man shrugged as if he didn’t give a care about the diagnosis. An obvious coping tactic that could be attributed to the man’s past behavior of being indifferent towards death. But there was no mistaking the obvious heartache that Alfie felt for leaving his beloved family behind.

            “If there’s any way I can help…” Tommy offered.

            Alfie narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Mate, if you make a move on me wife after I’m dead, I’ll fucking rise from my grave and strangle you. I can fucking promise you that.” He jabbed a finger at the man who was notorious for being a womanizer.

            Tommy just chuckled and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, Alfie, you know that.” He replied.

            He grumbled. “I guess I sometimes worry about people taking advantage of her.” He admitted with a disgruntled sigh. “She’s smart, but I’ve still got enemies out there who probably love to think that she’s an easy target.”

            “Well, she’s still under the Peaky Blinders’ protection.” He informed him. “We don’t forget our debts. She paid us for protection a long time ago but it still stands.”

            Alfie was a little surprised that the man remembered the payment all those years later. In a way, he was grateful that the Blinders rarely forgot a deal. Perhaps they could offer him another measure of peace that she would be protected. “No messing about with her? ‘Cause I’ve got people in Camden who’ll still watch over her too. Family who would be mighty unhappy if they found out you were taking money from her.”

            “I’m a man of my word, Alfie.” Tommy glanced over at him with a firm nod. “We’ll keep an eye on her, by order of the Peaky Blinders.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think chapter 40 will be the epilogue. One more chapter of Solomons family fluff and then the ending which I have already written out. It's set in stone. Can't turn back now. But I just wanted to thank everyone who has stuck out for this long. I really appreciate the support!


	39. Chapter 39

            “Dad, what’re you writing?”

            It was summer in Margate. Teddy, now five-years-old, had wandered into the little study. Louise and Alfie had to make a few adjustments to the cottage, adding an extension to make a little bit more room for the three of them and three dogs. Now Teddy had his own room and Alfie had a cozy office. Not that he had much paperwork to do anymore. But he liked overseeing finances and documents at a desk; it made him feel more like himself.

            Alfie glanced up over his half-moon glasses. A small smile formed on his face. Teddy must’ve gotten bored with baking with Louise. “Writing a letter.” He answered and beckoned his son over.

            The young boy rounded the desk and crawled up onto Alfie’s lap. “Why? Can’t you just call ‘em on the telephone?” He asked.

            “You youngins and your technology.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m writing a letter to you, mate.”

            “To me?” A funny look crossed Teddy’s face as he looked up at his father. “Why? I’m right here.”

            Alfie put the paper aside and found the envelope he’d already pulled out. “See that?” He pointed to the words written on the front of the cream envelope. “Says it’s addressed to Theodore Tovi Solomons.” He read out, the tip of his finger tracing under each word so Teddy could follow along. “To be read on his eighteenth birthday.”

            Teddy frowned. “Eighteen? But that’s a long ways away. That’s ‘lmost how old you are!” He exclaimed.

            “Well, I’m flattered.” Alfie smiled and tousled his hair. “But you’ll hafta wait. Can’t read it ‘til then. See that, September sixteenth, 1944. That’s the day you turn eighteen, innit?”

            “That’s like a million years away.” He groaned. “Can’t I just read it now?”

            “Trust me, time goes a lot faster than you think. You’ll be eighteen ‘fore you know it and you’ll be able to read it. F’ya read it now you’ll just be bored.”

            Teddy sighed and rested back against Alfie. “Kay.” He gave in. “What’re we gonna do on my birthday?”

            Alfie wished more than anything he could be there. But his cancer was ready to take him, he could feel it. Breathing was becoming more and more agonizing with each passing day. He was in constant pain and there was little to relieve it. Some parts of his skin looked like it was being eaten away.

            “Whatever you want, Ted.”

            “It’ll be fun. Birthdays are always fun. Mum makes me chocolate cake.” Teddy rambled on, fiddling with the pen Alfie had left on the desk.

            “Yeah, she does.”

            “You get me presents. Maybe when I’m eighteen you can get me a horse of my own.” He beamed up at his father.

            Alfie smiled and nodded. He was positive Louise would continue to spoil Teddy after he was gone. So giving him a horse wasn’t too far fetched. “Sure.”

 

            Although there wasn’t much Alfie could do to alleviate his pain, he did enjoy the salt air. It might’ve just been psychological, but whenever he was out on the beach, he felt just a tad bit better. He could breathe easier and the sound of the waves could pull his thoughts away from the ache in his bones.

            When they were at Margate, if Louise couldn’t find Alfie in the house, she was guaranteed to find him outside. Down the dunes, past the pier, standing by the shore. Cyril by his side.

            After Teddy turned five, Cyril lost most of the energy he had left. Alfie said dogs his size rarely lived past eight-years-old so it was a miracle he was going on eleven.

            One morning, Louise woke Alfie up in a panic. Cyril was lying on the end of their bed and it didn’t look like he was breathing. Alfie simply nudged the mastiff with his foot and he awoke, tail wagging happily.

            Louise wasn’t ready to lose either of them. But she did everything she could to contain her worry and grief. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Teddy or make Alfie feel guilty. She learned to simply take each day at a time. And when that failed, she started to go by every hour, then every minute. All she had was that minute. Alfie and Cyril were fine and alive. She had them forever in that moment. The minutes and hours and days ahead were unknown. All she had was a minute. A second even.

 

            Late one night, Louise woke to find the bed next to her empty. It wasn’t uncommon. Alfie often got up to walk or simply sit on the beach. Sometimes the pain was too much to stay in bed. Apparently, he’d left Cyril behind because the mastiff could be heard snoring from Teddy’s room.

            Louise slipped on a thin sweater over her nightgown and walked outside. She traveled down the well-worn path through the dunes, passing by the spot where he’d proposed to her.

            Alfie was standing by the shore. The moon was nearly full and there wasn’t a cloud in the night sky. The beach was illuminated enough to see his figure. The moon reflected off the calm waves that lapped at the shore. The sand still held some of its warmth from soaking up the summer sun all day.

            “Alfie…” Louise called a few feet away from him so she wouldn’t startle him. She knew he would be deep in his thoughts.

            The man turned and smiled when he saw his wife. “Cyril’s snoring wake you up?” He reached out a hand to her.

            “I think so.” She giggled and took his hand. “Or maybe I could sense you’d left.”

            “Maybe.” He’d discarded his coat onto the sand, unnecessary in the warm air. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying some of the worst of his cancer. He used his cane to lower himself to the sand. Louise followed, curling up beside him as he stretched his legs out. He let out a long sigh, inhaling the salty air.

            “Have you finished your letter to Teddy yet?” She asked quietly. The two had talked about his legacy, as hard as it was. But they agreed that Alfie would write a letter to Teddy and she’d give it to him when the boy turned eighteen. That way, Alfie could explain a few things in his own words.

            “Just about.” Her husband nodded. “It’s hard, I’m worried I’ll leave something out.” He admitted and wrapped an arm around her.

            “You’ll make sure to add everything you need to. You’ve already spent at least a month on it.” She reminded him.

            “Just want it to be perfect.”

            Louise hummed in agreement and cuddled closer into his side. She looked up at the clear stars up above them. “Maybe we become stars when we’ve passed.” She whispered.

            “Stars?” Alfie tilted his head to see where she was looking.

            She shrugged. “Maybe. So that we can always look down on the people who miss us.”

            Alfie didn’t expect much after death. His religion was more focused on what you did during your lifetime rather than what happened after it. But he didn’t want to tell Louise that he wouldn’t be there for her. Because whether it was just a thought, he wanted to always be in the back of her mind. Whether it was selfish or not, Alfie didn’t like the feeling of leaving her behind. So he didn’t plan on it.

            “That’d be nice.” He agreed quietly and kissed her cheek. “I’d like that.”

            “Yeah, me too.” She looked away from the constellations and pressed into the crook of his arm.

            “Or maybe you go back to a time you’ve really enjoyed. Reliving that moment over and over again.” Alfie mused. “What’d that be? What’s your favorite moment?”

            His wife was quiet for a moment, sifting through all the lovely memories she had with him. “The moment you held Teddy for the first time. The love I saw in your eyes. It was perfect. I was so worried when I found out I was pregnant; I was worried you would doubt yourself as a father. But I saw it in your eyes that you didn’t doubt yourself. You knew how to be a father. It was just in your blood.”

            Alfie had to walk himself through a few deep breaths. His chest had tightened so much that he was afraid he would lose his cool if he spoke. Finally, he composed himself, focusing on Louise’s steady breathing. “Y-yeah…I’d pick that moment too.”

            “Good.” She sniffled and dabbed her eyes. “I’ll see you there then.” Her whisper barely rose above the sound of the gentle waves.

            “See you there, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the epilogue. Grab your tissues, folks.


	40. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Alfie wrote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I normally write at my local coffee shop, but I had to write this chapter when I was home. Mostly because once I started, I felt the tears coming on. I'm terrible at letting go of pieces. But I'm satisfied with the way I ended everything. I hope you all are too.   
> So in celebration of the Season 5 trailer, here's the last chapter. An ending leads to a beginning.

            _Dear Teddy,_

_Your mother named you just a few moments after you were born. We gave you a Hebrew name as well to please everyone in Camden Town. Tovi means my good. You are my good. Sometimes I cannot believe that you are actually my son. You have been blessed with your mother’s patience and intelligence._

_You have great potential and I hope that you fulfill everything you desire. When I was your age, I was running the streets of Camden. I did not think I would ever have a family._

_When I met your mother, I realized I could. She gave me everything including you. I doubted I would ever be enough for you. I thought I would fail as a father, especially since I knew I would not see you grow into the adult you are now._

_Truth be told, I never anticipate seeing you to your first birthday. I expected you to never have a memory of me. I thought that would be best. I did not want to disappoint you. I figured your mother could tell you everything you wanted to know. She could always paint me in a better light._

_Then you said your first word. It was dad. I was your first word. Then you learned how to say ‘I love you’. You kept saying it to your mother. Repeating ‘I love you’ all day. Then when I tucked you into bed, you said it to me. Teddy, I cannot tell you the joy it is to hear your child say such words. I can only hope one day you experience the same joy._

_I am sorry I cannot be there for you the way a father should be. There will be many things I miss. I can only dream of the things you will accomplish. But being there in your first years of life was truly a gift. A fitting send-off. I can go peacefully knowing I have experienced true happiness and love._

_Know that I will always be there with you in spirit; no matter what path you choose to walk. I trust you will take good care of your mother. I love you both more than I could possibly put into words. I hope this letter is enough, I hope I was enough. Because you both were my entire world._

_I promise I will not make this letter into a novel. But I wanted to tell you a few of my favorite memories, tell you a few things you might never have heard._

_I met your mother in Camden Town. She was applying for the position as my secretary. Clever as a whip, negotiated an extra pound out of me. Knocked the wind right out of me. Could never take my eyes off of her…_

            Teddy’s eighteenth birthday was as festive of an occasion as Louise could make it. She threw him an extravagant party at Inglewood, letting him invite whoever he wanted. He and his best mates spent the day fox hunting. Teddy proudly showing off, Henry, one of his birthday presents. A strong thoroughbred draft cross gelding. Afterward, there was a party for Louise’s beloved son. Inviting everyone she considered both friends and family from Surrey all the way to Camden Town.

            When the party eventually died down, Louise found her son looking at pictures of Alfie in the study.

            “One more gift.” She said gently and touched his shoulder.

            The young man smiled and took the envelope and small box from her. “Think you’ve spoiled me enough, mum.” He chuckled and opened the box.

            “That was your father’s.” She explained, her lower lip already trembling.

            Teddy set the envelope aside to hold up the pocket watch. His father’s initials were carved into the back of the gold surface. With a bit of polishing and a tune-up, it was in fairly good shape considering how old I was. “I uh…” He wasn’t sure what to saw as he caught his reflection in the watch’s face. His mother always said how much he looked like his father. Teddy could see the resemblance, even if he didn’t sport the same beard Alfie did.

            He imagined his father’s reflection and wished he could be there.

            Louise picked up the envelope off the desk and handed it to him. “Take your time.” She said softly, her hazel eyes welling up with tears. “If you want to wait, you can. Read it when you’re ready.”

            Teddy read the front of the envelope even though he already knew what it said.

            _To Theodore Tovi Solomons. To be read on his eighteenth birthday, September 16 th, 1944\. _

He had sat there, watched his father write the words he had been waiting for. Back then; he didn’t know Alfie was even sick.

            Teddy swallowed and nodded. “Thanks, mum.” He whispered and wandered out of the study, slipping the pocket watch into his coat. He walked out to the patio, still illuminated with lanterns from the party. Finding a seat, he flipped the envelope over. His hand shook while he slowly tore at the flap, slipping out the pages Alfie had written just for him.

            With a deep breath, Teddy unfolded the pages and began to read.

 

 

            “Girls!” Louise whistled out to the field. “C’mon, then!”

            Tommy chuckled as he walked over to the fence. “Look at that, three generations.”

            Paris’s daughter, Lille had recently become a grandmother. The Friesian mare had passed a few years earlier from old age. But her line with Burr continued creating British racing legends all named after French cities. Lille had come in second at Epsom, her filly, Marseille, won it. Now Marseille had produced a long-legged colt that looked like a winner even at just a few days old.

            Toulouse, black as night, walked on shaky legs. Snorting out little burst of high pitched sounds, unsure of the brand new world around him. His mother nudged him assuredly, following Lille to the fence.

            “He’s healthy as can be.” Louise smiled warmly at the foal. “The delivery went so smoothly, Mar was such a trooper through it. Should’ve seen him, energetic the second he was born. Got up on his feet much sooner than I expected.

            “Can’t imagine how fast he’ll be, looks like he’ll be able to outrun his mum in just a few weeks.” Tommy agreed and rested his forearms on the fence. “Won’t be too big by the looks of it, but he’ll be a stunner, aye?”

            Lille nosed at the Brummie’s arm, recognizing his scent from her days at Charlie’s yard and on the track.

            Louise had invested herself in the horses. She was extremely close to May Carleton and the two worked together many times before. Both widows were eager to give their horses the best while producing a few racehorses who were hard to beat. They often had horses going head to head at derbies, but there was no malice. Whoever’s horse one would simply buy drinks when they celebrated afterward.

 

            It had been nearly sixteen years since Louise lost Alfie. He hung on much longer than any doctor expected and saw Teddy to his sixth birthday. It was a difficult road and in the end, it was painful to watch Alfie suffer so badly. And sometimes Louise felt guilty. He had finally confided in her about his plan to die via Tommy Shelby a few years after the fact. She was horrified but came to understand his process of thinking. She was just glad Tommy had refused. Still, she wondered if she should’ve let Alfie go much earlier. He wouldn’t have suffered as much as he did. Maybe she was being selfish for continuing to encourage him to keep fighting.

 

            One night a few months after Teddy’s sixth birthday, he was incoherent. He’d been in rough shape the entire week and requested to go to Margate, aware of his declining health and wanting to be where he planned to die. It was winter and the wind on the beach was brutal. By Friday, he could hardly stand on his own, had no appetite, and was sleeping often.

            Teddy kissed his father goodnight, oblivious to anything going wrong. Alfie smiled and said he loved him more than the world itself. Louise put Teddy to bed and returned to find her husband staring up at the ceiling. He was slowly fading away right in front of her.

 

            “Not going make it tonight, Lou.” He wheezed quietly.

            Tears filled her eyes and she curled up beside him. “I know.” She whispered and held him close.

            He smiled and shakily wrapped an arm around her. “Really thought Tommy would end me. He had so many fucking chances, didn’t he?”

            Louise wanted to laugh with him but she was so terrified to lose her best friend. There was no way to prepare herself for living without him. “Wait for me, Alfie.”

            He chuckled with a wince. It was too painful to even breathe. “Love, we ain’t going to the same place.” It didn’t matter what he believed in, heaven or hell or nothing. If there were such places then he was certain his wife would be up on high while he’d be paying for his sins down below.

            “Yes, we are.” She insisted. “And you wait there for me. Wait for me.”

            He heard the tears in her voice so he nodded and kissed her hair. “Sure, love. I’ll wait.”

           

            She stayed up with him as he slipped away. He became delirious, just mumbling incoherent words while she listened to every agonizing breath he took, prolonging the time he had left with her.

            Around midnight, he closed his eyes but continued to keep breathing. He wouldn’t go without her permission.

            Louise pressed her tear-stained face to his shoulder. “It’s okay.” She said. “You can let go, love. You’ve fought so long. You can rest now. We’ll be okay and we’ll always love you. Let go, Alfie.”

            Seconds later, his chest stilled after one final breath.

 

 

 

            “I’ve got another foal as well.” Louise pointed out a mare sniffed a foal that was lying in the grass. “Only born yesterday. Sired by one of May’s, that big chestnut with the blaze? Strong stallion with a smooth gait.

            “Ah, yes.” Tommy nodded when he spotted the foal. He stroked Lille’s cheek, absent-mindedly smoothing his palm over her black coat. “Handsome, what’s his name?”

            “Haven’t named him yet.” She admitted, leaning against the fence. “Usually leave it to Teddy but he’s been busy lately.”

            “How ‘bout Solomons’s Secret?” He smiled slightly with a shrug. “Call me uncreative.”

            Louise laughed softly and nodded. “I do like that. I think Teddy will love it.”

            “Teddy’ll love what?” At twenty, Teddy Solomons was tall, just like his grandfather whom he’d never met but was familiar with his portrait that still hung in the foyer. He was a few inches taller than Alfie was but greatly resembled his father. His striking blue-green eyes and brown hair were uncannily Alfie.

            “There he is.” Tommy turned to see Alfie’s only child. It spooked him sometimes to see how much the teenager looked like the late gangster. But he’d taken on his mother’s manner. He was clever as a whip just like his father but tended to be on the quieter side.

            “Mr. Shelby.” Teddy smiled and shook hands with the older man. “Pleasure to see you again.”

            “Must’ve grown a foot since I’ve seen you last.” Tommy chuckled. “My daughter’s come along if you’d like to meet her.” He glanced over to the Bentley parked in the gravel drive. “She’ll probably be reading in the car, always got her nose in a book. Let me fetch her.”

            Louise smiled at her son. “What do you think of Solomons’ Secret as a name for the new colt?” She asked in Tommy’s absence.

            Teddy’s blue eyes looked over the pasture to find the reddish-colored foal. “Yeah, I like that.” He agreed and shoved a hand in his pocket. He’d been born into the luxury that Alfie left behind to his family. Educated and kept safely away from the way his father had been raised. It was everything Alfie wanted for him.

            But when he was thirteen, Europe erupted into chaos. A second world war took hold and Louise was terrified of losing her son. She held her breath when he turned eighteen and the war was still raging on. He was drafted, despite her attempts to forge medical paperwork and get him exempt. Anything to keep her son away from the front lines.

            Teddy insisted he served, just as his father had. Only six months in the British armed forces and he suffered an accident that had him discharged. A grenade had nearly torn off his leg, but he was returned to his mother with all four limbs and a chronic limp.

            Louise knew it was Alfie keeping his son safe.

            The young man suffered through PTSD, much like many men who served, but he found his footing and was off to university in the fall. It was much easier sending him off to London than it was letting him leave for war. But Louise was still having a hard time with it.

 

            His mother sighed and touched his cheek. “What’ll I do with Henry when you’re off to university?” She pouted.

            The young man chuckled and shrugged. He’d be off to London soon. “I suppose you could ride him instead. Besides, I’ll be back, mum, not leaving for good. I’ve got a car as well.”

            She smiled sadly. “I know, but I’ll miss you. So you better visit often or I’ll ring you every day until you do.”

            “I know…” Teddy glanced past Louise and his voice faded off. His face began to redden and he cleared his throat.

            His mother looked confused until she heard Tommy approaching with his daughter.

            Ruby Shelby was a sight to behold and everyone around her knew it. She’d inherited Tommy’s stunning blue eyes and dark brown hair. She emulated Lizzie in her slim, tall frame and sharp features. But she had a soft look to her behind the fierce reputation of being a Shelby girl. 

            “This is my daughter, Ruby. Ruby, you must remember Mrs. Solomons. This is her son, Teddy.” Tommy introduced.

            “It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Solomons,” Ruby spoke in the same Birmingham accent of her parents but had been raised held in higher regard than either of them was. Daughter of a former prostitute and a notorious gangster, but she was well educated and respected in the community. Mostly because of Tommy’s political status in London. “How'd you do, Teddy?” She smiled shyly. It was hard to hide her blush with her fair complexion. Apparently, she’d been taken by the handsome features of a long passed gangster mixed with the gentle upbringing of the heir to Inglewood.

            “Well…good, yeah.” Teddy rattled off, stumbling over his words and practically sweating in front of her. Attending an all-boys school for years, he had little experience with the opposite sex. Even though he tended to attract the attention of shop girls in Surrey and London, he was minorly paralyzed when met with a beautiful face.

            “You two’ll be ‘bout the same age, aye?” Tommy noted. He and Louise shared an amused glance because of their teenagers’ antics. “Ruby turned twenty in December.”

            “Yes, sir.” Teddy nodded and tried to casually wipe his sweaty palms on the front of his slacks. It was tough trying to remain polite and cordial in front of Tommy Shelby while internally fawning after his daughter. “I’ll be twenty-one in September.” He couldn’t take his eyes off the Shelby girl no matter how many times he tried.

            “Teddy, why don’t you show Ruby the horses?” Louise offered and reached into her pocket to pull out a few sugar cubes to hand to him. “Mind the foals, I’m not sure their mothers are ready to let us too close. The dogs are loose as well, just so you know.”

            The young man nodded and took the treats in his hand. “We’ve got foxhounds that just had pups.” He explained and started to walk towards the stables with Ruby, trying his best to hide his prominent limp. "Mastiffs too." 

            "Those massive dogs?" Ruby gasped softly. "I love big dogs, they're so gentle." 

            And that was it, Teddy was completely smitten. Just as his father had been when Louise complimented Cyril in front of the bakery, all those years before. 

 

            Tommy smiled and leaned against the fence, reaching for a cigarette. He offered one to Louise who obliged.

            “I miss him, Tommy.” She said quietly. “He’s missed so much of Teddy’s life.”

            The man nodded. “I miss him too.” He admitted.

            Louise raised an eyebrow and smiled in surprise. “Really? If only he knew. He’d never let you hear the end of that.”

            He laughed and shook his head. “I know he took care of you and Teddy. He wasn't a bad man. Misunderstood, but aren’t we all?”

            She nodded and contemplated his philosophy. “He was a good man. I always knew he was.”

            The two widows stood in silence for a moment, watching the horses grazing across the field. Solomons’ Secret tried standing up, his mother guiding him along with a helpful nudge of her nose.

            “It doesn’t get easier does it?” Louise asked. Of course, she knew it didn’t. Over a decade later and it still hurt. It still hurt to go to bed and wake up alone. Sometimes she still expected Alfie to be occupying the space next to her. 

            Tommy shook his head slowly. “No, it doesn’t.” He’d been two decades without Grace and he still always felt like he was missing something. It was worse when his kids were old enough to have lives of their own. Charlie hardly remembering his mother. Sometimes asking about her. 

            “I figured as much.” She sighed and brushed a loose piece of hair out of her face. She exhaled a breath of smoke and bit her lip. “I suppose we were lucky to have them for the time we did.”

            “It’s better to focus on the good.” He agreed.

            The foal took a few wobbling steps, his lanky legs wide apart to keep from falling over. His mother nickered softly and ran her muzzle over his short mane as if congratulating him. 

            “Just can’t wait to see him again.”

 

 

            Louise went another fifty-four years without Alfie. She passed at the age of ninety in 1986. She never remarried, devoting her life to her horses, her son, and her grandchildren. She’d lived through two world wars. But God blessed her with a beautiful daughter-in-law who just happened to be a Shelby as well and five grandchildren. The eldest was named after the grandfather he never knew. Alfie Solomons name lived on just as he always wanted.

 

            When she woke, she found herself in the hallway of Inglewood. She didn’t remember traveling there. Teddy and Ruby owned the manor now, had for some time. She had permanently taken residence at Margate, it always made her feel closer to Alfie. Inglewood was too big for just Louise, it was much more suited for Teddy and Ruby's children. Frowning in puzzlement, she looked down and saw the wrinkles in her hands had smoothed away. Her hair was bobbed again instead of the long gray braid she usually wore.

            Her body felt so much lighter. No longer did she feel the arthritis in her hands or the chronic ache in her hip. Startled, Louise carefully walked forward. It had been years since she had been able to walk unaided. But now she felt like she could walk for miles or run or dance even.

            She began walking towards the master bedroom, opening the door cautiously. Such a strangely real dream. Every surface felt so real and just as she remembered it. The room was warm and a few lamps laminated the space. Sitting beside the bed was the husband her heart had ached over for decades.

            “Alfie.” She gasped softly.

            He looked up and smiled warmly. The features of his face the same as they had always been before the cancer took him. “Sh, sh, he’s sleeping, love.” He murmured and looked down at the bundle in his arms.

            Louise walked over with tears in her eyes. She saw her son just a few hours old, resting in his father’s arms. She slowly sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. It was pristinely kept as it had been in 1926. Not a thing looked moved or dusty.

            “Alfie…is this…” Her eyes searched his face.

            He nodded serenely. “Yeah, Lou, I told you I’d wait. Waited a fucking long time, didn’t I?”

 

 The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through the end. Thanks for the kudos and the comments. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I appreciate you all taking the time to read about Alfie and Louise. It's going to be so weird not writing about them anymore. BUT I still have an Alfie fic ongoing called Blue Eyes. Check it out, should be a long one if I've planned well enough. I've also started a Peaky Blinders collection of one-shots and a one-shot series about Alfie's relationship with a blind woman called Dawn in Your Eyes.   
> Again, thank you so much. I had such a great time writing Burned and I'm really sad to let it go. But all fics must come to an end. 
> 
> I'd also like to add a little statistic I was curious about. I managed to drop the word 'fuck' in its various states 453 times. That's got to be some record of mine and I'm impressed with myself.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, feel free to critique. I have several plans going forward but feedback is appreciated! Thanks!


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